Disclaimer: I don't own.

Author's Note: This chapter got a little bit smutty. Sorry. :giggle: I didn't mean for it to, but it just did.Anyway! Hope you enjoy. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it. :)

Warning: R/NC17ish. Not terribly graphic, but still. A bit smutty. So be forewarned. And mild language.

Convincing

Chapter 20 – I Can Hear Your Heart

Th-thump. Th-thump. Th-thump.

When they'd first laid down on Steven's cot, and she'd settled her head on his chest, the cadence of his heartbeat echoed the throbbing in Jackie's temple. But slowly, as his hands drew long and languid lines up and down her spine, as his mere presence around her comforted her, the throbbing ended. And now she listened to his heartbeat. Now she felt his heartbeat inside of her. It soothed her. Made her feel like a part of him. Much less alone.

The sound of his life, right in her hears, vibrating into her body. It was so beautiful.

"I remember my third grade teacher telling me that she'd put a ticking clock near where her puppy slept. She told me that it was to simulate the puppy's mother's heartbeat so the puppy could hear it."

Hyde stared at the ceiling and wished she'd shut up. "Mm-hmm." He didn't want to talk. He just wanted to lay here, with her cuddled up to him the way she was, her head on his chest, one of her arms underneath him, the other resting on his stomach and hip. One of her legs was thrown over his, and her foot, in a sweet and decidedly non-sexual manner slid up and down his. First the back of her foot, then the front of her toes. Back of her foot, the front of her toes. His free hand reached for the tiny one now on his stomach, and covered it, pressing it into him. He wanted to feel her touch. Not talk, not anything. Just to feel her touch.

I might not always be able to. Not after she di…

He squeezed his eyes closed. Damn it, no!

"I guess it was supposed to sooth the puppy."

She paused, and he rolled his eyes. "Mm-hmm." He loved her, almost desperately at times, but sometimes the fact that she would not shut up made him feel the beginning pangs of insanity.

"I can hear your heart, Steven."

He frowned as an odd fact struck him. She'd lain with her head on his chest millions of times, and had commented equally as much that she could hear his heart beating. He'd never heard hers beat. Oh, he'd felt it; under his fingertips, his palm, even his lips. All, of course, while coaxing her into the mood he wanted her in. But he'd never simply listened to it. Of course, it really was such an incredibly girly thing to do.

He wanted to hear it. Her life. He wanted to hear it, so maybe while she was unconscious with her head cut open, he could remember the sound.

Hyde gently rubbed her shoulder. "Hey Jackie?"

"Hmmm?"

She sounded sleepy.

"I wanna…" He cleared his throat. Damn. This was something Forman would do. Hell, he probably HAD done it. He rolled his eyes.

"You wanna what, Steven?" He didn't answer, and Jackie sat up. She looked down at him, and the way his jaw was tensed made her smile. Meant he wanted to do something sweet that he thought was too "girly" for his big macho self. His eyes met hers for a split second, and instantly, she knew what he wanted. "Oh…you wanna listen to my heart beating, don't you, Puddin' pop?"

He stared at the ceiling and didn't say anything. Hell, she knew the answer anyway.

She giggled and lay back down. "Steven. Steven, look at me." He did, and she smiled softly. She patted her chest. "Come here."

He waited a moment. Girly thing. Girly, Forman thing.

Aw, screw it.

Hyde rolled over and put his head down on her, his ear on the firmness of her sternum. And just so that he didn't completely feel like a fawning female, he covered her left breast with his right hand.

Yeah. This was just an excuse to feel her up. Not that he needed one. Jackie had a real thing about having her breasts touched. But still. It was his excuse. See? He was no Forman. No girl. He just wanted to feel her up.

Th-thump. Th-thump. Th-thump.

His eyes closed. Her life. He heard it, and felt its tiny pulses against his ear. Right now she was alive. Right NOW she was alive.

God, please let me remember how this sounds. And feels. Just in case she…

His face contorted. Damn it, NO!

Jackie smiled and closed her eyes. His touch was so good. SO good. There was absolutely nothing better than feeling his hands on her. His fingers gently rubbed her breast, and she sighed, her mouth opening slightly. Such pleasure. She buried her right hand in his mop of hair and gently scratched his scalp.

But she couldn't stay quiet. She couldn't. She wanted to talk. For him to talk. To hear his voice.

I might not be able to. Not after I…

"So is it like that for you, Steven? I mean, like the clock for the puppy."

Hyde pursed his lips and grunted softly in response. God, don't talk, Jackie. For once, just don't talk. I just want to feel you. Don't talk.

He didn't answer, and Jackie sighed. He didn't want to talk.

She lay still, her body enjoying feeling him resting on her this way, for the first time ever, she thought. But her mind began to wander. Only a day and a half left before her surgery. She could die. She might die. And in the deepest part of her, she thought she probably would die. That was her luck. She and Steven were too happy. Something had to go wrong.

What would he do if she did die? Would he cry? Would he want to die, too?

Would he find someone else? Would he forget her? Would he be relieved?

What would her friends do? Would they care? Would they just continue on like she'd never been a part of their lives?

Was she a part of their lives? Did they care now?

And what about her mother? Her father?

I want my mommy.

"Steven?"

He sighed impatiently, but the note of little girl in her voice forced him to not just ignore her. "What?" He felt her body shudder a bit underneath him, and his fingers stroked her breast, hoping to calm her.

"Do you think my mother would come if she thought it was for my funeral?"

For a moment, he didn't move. Too shocked by what she'd said, the implication. And then his body shot up, off of her, off of the bed. He stared at her, and blinding rage made her blurry. Just the thought of her funeral…of her dying…

And was she saying that she wanted him to call her mother and tell her she was dead? It wasn't the lying to her mother part that made his insides curdle with fury. No. Hell, Pam probably wouldn't give a damn, or shed even one single tear, the stupid bitch.

But did she expect him to actually speak those words? To say that she was…that she was…

He yelled at her.

"Shut the hell up, Jackie! God, you're talking about pretending that you're…that you're….That's just sick!"

Jackie sat up, her lips trembling, her eyes overflowing. She felt his anger, and she understood, she did, but couldn't he understand? Hadn't he ever felt the longing she was, to be little again, and cared for? To be her mommy's baby, if only for just a few fleeting, even faked moments? "I just…Steven, I just want her to be here!" And like that little girl she wanted to be again, she threw herself back down on the cot and flopped over onto her side, away from him. She balled up the blanket in her fist and brought it to her mouth to muffle her sobs as the tears flowed.

Hyde stood there and grimaced. There it was. Her hope. She still hoped her mother loved her. And once again, it was going to hurt her. It already was. She'd never learn. And he'd always have to pick up the pieces. Or at least try to.

I won't have to if…when she….

He shook his head. No. Just hold her. Hold her now.

He returned to the cot and settled down behind her, slipping one arm beneath her slender frame and wrapping the other around the front of her. He pressed his body hard to hers, and nuzzled her neck. His eyes closed. "I know, Jackie," he whispered gruffly. A little kiss to her neck. "I know."

After a little while, she rolled over, her tears slowing because of Steven's grip on her, like he didn't want to let go. Ever. She smiled sadly up at him. Oh, his eyes. So beautiful. So blue, so revealing, so intoxicating. His hands spread out on her back, warming her. "But I have you."

At least right now. At least until I die.

His heart flipped. "Yeah. You do."

At least right now. At least until you die.

No.

He leaned his head to hers and kissed her softly. Just a little kiss. But her lips clung, and who was he to deny her? His mouth opened, and the warmth of her tongue made him wince. God, how he loved kissing her. She moaned, and the echo of it on his lips made his desire for her, always there under the surface, rush to the top. Her arms tightened, and his hands squeezed her. One slowly slipped down from her back to her rear.

Their lips parted, only slightly, and Jackie smiled sexily. Her eyes, heavy lidded, noticed that his were too. "Why don't we pick up where we left off before Mrs. Forman barged in?" She arched her back, driving her chest tight to his, and his groan only intensified her building passion. "Steven, I…"

"Jackie, shhhh." His lips slammed to hers.

They rolled over, Hyde moving on top of her, all the while joined in a deep, wet, biting kiss. He moved his lips from hers, to her chin, down her jaw and to her neck, her sweet skin filling his senses. His hips involuntarily pressed down against the open cradle of her thighs, and he grinned when she gasped.

Jackie gripped his tee shirt tightly in her hands. Fire was building inside of her, and she couldn't stop herself from squirming under him to get what she wanted where she wanted. He was so….firm. So solid. So hard. So….such a man. "Steven…" Oh, he was so warm…warm and achingly hard….it felt so good….

He lifted up and began to unbutton her blouse. They both panted and watched each other with the intensity of physical and emotional lust. He pushed the sides of the blouse away from her, but it wasn't enough. "I want it off….sit up."

She did, and even before he could take the shirt off, she did. He watched her, his eyes glittering, and she hurried to take her bra off. His smile was lusty, but she stopped him before he could lunge towards her chest with hot kisses. "Wait. I want yours off, too." She reached for the hem of his shirt.

He grinned and helped her pull it off of his body, then immediately pushed her back down on the cot. She giggled, but her legs encased his and jerked him downwards to her. Fine with him. His lips hungrily scoured her chest, leaving a variety of droplet sized kisses and wide, damp, sucklings of her.

"Steven…oh god…wait…is the….door…"

He stopped kissing her and looked at her, then at the wide open door. "Shit!" He had to close it. And lock it. No way was he going to stop again. No way. It had been too long. And he need to be that close to her. He needed to be in her. Just as she needed him in her.

He rolled off the cot and strode to the door. He closed it, locked it, and was about to turn around when he felt kisses on his shoulder blades. A long flick of a silky, warm tongue. A pair of naked breasts against his lower back as she moved her mouth over him, wherever she could reach. He moaned and put both hands on the door, squeezing his eyes closed and savoring the pleasure singing his body. "Jackie…"

Jackie smiled against him, then pulled away, stepping away from him and putting her hands on the zipper of her jeans, waiting for him to turn around. He did, an annoyed look on his face until his eyes met hers. "Steven…"

After they'd both shed their clothes, after he'd gently but eagerly pushed her back down onto the cot, after he'd climbed on top of her, after they kissed passionate, touched even more passionately, explored each other and taken each other to the brink of all control, Hyde looked down at her. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips swollen, just as his entire body felt.

She wondered why he was hesitating. She could feel him, right where he was supposed to be, and it was driving her crazy. She wanted him. Desperately. Each touch of him in that certain spot made her more insane with that want. "Steven, what are you…" She paused, and she saw it in his eyes, suddenly tense. He was worried. "Baby, I'm not gonna break."

Hyde rolled his eyes. Silly. Why would having sex hurt her? It wouldn't. Of course it wouldn't.

"But…maybe we could just…" Her hands slowed on his back, and now, instead of heated, take-me-now touches, she left seductive and teasing, just-you-wait-type of caresses. "Go a bit slower."

His eyes closed. Her lips attacked his neck, and he arched it for her. Slow….sl…o….w…… Her hands moved all over him, his legs, his chest, his hips, his stomach, lower…torture. Sweet, sweet torture.

And it was working. The pleasure of the teasing was more powerful than he ever remembered it being. More arousing. He'd never, ever been this turned on. He'd never wanted sex to last as long as he wanted to this last. He grinned and pushed her back down. "Your turn, dollface. And…you're gonna get it good."

After her own torture, in which Steven kissed her everywhere, nibbled everywhere, licked everywhere, finally, she couldn't bear it anymore. "Steven, please!" Her legs wrapped around her waist, drawing his maleness right to her. "Please…"

He smiled and rubbed his nose against hers. "What happened to slow?"

She swatted his rear end. "Just…Steven…" And to her surprise, his entry was just as slow, just as teasing, just as seductive as their play had been. She gasped his name, hardly on a breath, and in less than a second completely lost herself in him.

Ecstasy.

Later on, after what to Hyde felt like the most incredible, awe inspiring marathon ever, they lay together in the position that had started this whole thing. Her head rested on his chest. He was pretty sure she was sleeping. He'd slept for awhile, but then woke up. And now, just lay here, remembering how it had felt. So damn good.

Jackie sighed in contentment as she woke up from her after-slumber. He'd looked at her the entire time, even when he fell over that proverbial edge. He'd groaned her name, so loud, so roughly, like she was everything he'd ever wanted.

And then he'd whispered that he loved her. Stroked her wet forehead, kissed her eyelids, whispered that he loved her so much. So much. He'd never said that before. So much.

He smiled. She'd looked at him the entire time, even when she'd reached that inevitable explosion. She'd gasped his name, then called it, then screamed it. Like he was all she ever needed. Like he was the only one who could make her feel that way.

And she'd cried. But this time happily. Tears rolled down her cheeks when she'd leaned over him, her tiny fingers on his cheek. She'd told him that she loved him. More than anyone or anything in the world.

"Steven?"

He raised his eyebrows. Didn't think she was awake. "Yeah, dollface?"

She smiled and ran her fingernails lightly up and down his chest, letting them dance a little bit in his soft chest hair. "I love you."

He closed his eyes. Her touch…her words…her. "I love you, too." His hand sunk into her hair. Rich, thick, so soft.

"I can hear your heart, Steven."

Th-thump. Th-thump. Th-thump.

He smiled and nudged her up with his shoulder. She gave him a smile, so damn beautiful, and he bobbed his eyebrows. He brought his hand up and put it on her chest. "Yeah, well, I can feel yours."

Th-thump. Th-thump. Th-thump.

She rolled over his body and straddled him, arching her back, moving his hands to where she wanted them, and lustily smirked at him. He licked his lips in anticipation. And both of them thought the same thing.

It was going to be a very long, very, very hot night.

And it was going to be incredible.

Th-thump, th-thump, th-thump th-thump, th-thump.