Satisfaction Not Guaranteed
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Potatoes and Slingshots
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a/n: Again, so sorry for the long wait. AIMS Testing and all that stuff this whole week...Ugh. You know I luv you all. Well, here you guys go! It's a bit conversation...heavy, but I felt like I couldn't put this chapter through e-mail and stuff because it's Christmas (for them anyway), and I thought that was kinda important.
Disclamer: Wow. Forgot this for a long time...whoopsies. Well, CCS does not belong to me. At all. Period.
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You're, you're, you're PREGNANT?
You don't have to yell!
Sorry. I'm just, wow. You're pregnant.
Yamizaki, I know we didn't plan this, this soon, but you don't have to get all angry about it! You've been angry ever since last night!
I'M NOT ANGRY!
Then why are you yelling?
I'M NOT YELLING!
I can't believe you!
So, now you're just running away?
That would probably sound better than 'I need to barf' wouldn't it.
Yeah…
Ok. Well, I'M RUNNING AWAY NOW!
To the bathroom?
I'll climb out the window!
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Good morning, sexy.
Morning, Syao.
Syao?
Yeah. My new nickname for you. Thought of it while you were in the bathroom. I think it sounds pretty hot.
Do what you want to do. I guess-
Oh my goodness!
What?
Why are we naked?
…
Why are you laughing?
Because this is a trick question, right?
No…This is serious! I would like to know why our clothes are off!
Sakura, you're starting to scare me…
Because I want to know why my boobs are visable to you?
They are?
Stop it!
Sakura, we had sex last night. I think I already saw them.
WHAT!
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You've reached the voicemail of Tomoyo. Leave your name and number and I'll try to call you back. BEEP!
Well, I hope you're not calling random guys back…Anyway; it's me, Eriol-
Hello?
Tomoyo? Hey.
What's up?
Tonight, you don't mind if we end early do you? I have some personal affairs to attend to.
You sound so business-like.
I try.
But, yeah, that's fine. Christmas stuff?
Today's Christmas? Oh yeah, I completely forgot. You didn't have plans to cancel because of me did you?
No, I'm fine. You forgot Christmas?
Yeah. Stupid me. Did you want anything?
No, I'm fine. Trust me.
If you're sure… Oh, I have to go. I'll pick you up at 7, alright?
Yeah, that's great. Bye.
Bye.
You weren't desperate at all.
Me? Desperate? What do you mean, Rika?
Racing to the phone to answer him when you heard his voice is a tad desperate.
It's not that desperate…
Judging from your attire, I beg to differ. I mean, you're in a towel.
You say potato, I say vodka. What we think of the word 'desperate' are two different things.
Obviously. But speaking of vodka, do you have any?
Why?
Because my boyfriend called yesterday to come over right away, when it was snowing, so I did, and I ran into a wall. Huge headache now. Need alcohol.
On second thought, maybe I say potato and you say vodka.
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To: Li Corp. Employees, A-H, I-R S-Z
From: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.
Sub: URGENT!
Attention! I'm sorry, but we have to the operation (R.O.L.D.) operation TOMORROW! I will personally visit his office tonight, and check on some stuff, to see how complicated it will be. Hope this is not too inconvenient for anybody. If it is…too bad, because if you signed up and don't show up tomorrow, you're fired.
Merry Christmas!
E. Hiragizawa
By the way, do any of you men know a good place that's open today to get a girt for a girl by tonight?
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Alright, Sakura. Can you take it now?
Ok. Try saying it again. Tap me harder this time.
We. Had. Sex. Last. Night.
You call that hard?
You really don't remember? I gave you my best performance last night!
Syaoran…. I'm sorry.
Sakura, don't cry…It's…ok.
No, it's not. I don't remember the first time with the man I really love.
Sakura?
Yeah?
I love you, too.
Thanks Syao.
Now, about that first time thing…
Yeah?
It was your first time ever, right?
No…
Just say yes.
Didn't know you were so jealous Syaoran.
I'm not jealous!
Yes, you are!
Do you think other couples fight like this?
No, but our relationship would be terribly boring if we didn't constantly chew each other's neck off…
Sadly, that's pretty true.
So can I chew on your neck?
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This is the voicemail of Chi! Name and number and I'll try to call you back! No promises though! BEEP!
Chi? This is Rachel. My Tasha has started yelling and screaming at all the boys in the neighborhood, claiming it's what you do with Yamisaki to show how much you love each other! Set her straight! Not implying that she's gay…Just that- you know what I mean.
Yamisaki… I miss him, Tomo. He hasn't come home.
Relax, Chi, it's only been a couple of hours. He'll come back.
Thanks. Oh, you should go get ready for your date with Eriol. Don't want to keep him waiting.
First, it's not a date. Don't give me that look! And second, I don't want to leave you alone like this.
Tomoyo, if you knew me at all, you would know that I would feel better if you went and had fun.
Chi…
Go…please? Tell me everything tomorrow. Please?
Alright…
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To: E. Hiragizawa
From: R. Sandusky
Sub: Need a gift?
There's a place I go for me and my wife's enjoyment. Thought you might want it since you need it by tonight. Here's the address: 741 E. Ebony Boulevard. Enjoy!
R. Sandusky
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To: R. Sandusky
From: E. Hiragizawa
Sub: Thanks
Expect a pay raise sometime soon, bro.
Hiragizawa
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What do you mean that men make better rulers than women?
I didn't say that at all. I just said that women let their emotional needs get in the way of doing the completely right thing all the time.
Oh, and you men and you 'war' solves everything!
We don't use war for everything! We use common sense and politics!
Common sense? You actually have some? My goodness, I guess you do learn something new everyday!
Sir, madam, please, calm down. This is a high class restaurant. It's Christmas. People are expecting a quiet evening! Please shut up!
Actually, I couldn't help but overhear.
Miss, weren't you at the table on the other side?
Ok, fine, I snuck over earlier to hear these two young people earlier. Would you give me a minute with them?
As you wish.
Sakura, that raspberry wasn't necessary.
Yes, it was!
No, it wasn't!
Excuse me?
Oh, sorry. Did you want something?
Yes. My name is Jolie Fruggard, star reporter, and I was wondering if you would consider joining us at People Today magazine and answer some few opinion-based questions, seeing as you guys have so many.
I don't think so…
Yeah, me neither. Sorry, Miss.
Alright, let's put it this way. I'll write what we'll pay you and then give me you answer.
Ok…
Won't change anything, though…
We'll see. Here you go.
…
…
When would you like us to come in?
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To: Li
From: Hiragizawa
Sub: I feel like murdering someone right now. I'm with Mei on this one.
Li, you know that stock and marketing employee, Sandusky? Well, I asked for a gift shop to get something for Tomoyo, right? He gives me a sex shop! Of course I didn't know that it was that at first, so I went in and bought so much stuff, and I can't bear to remember any more.
Hiragizawa
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Flashback
Miss, I'd like to purchase these things.
For someone you're intimate with?
Yeah, we're pretty good friends. She told me once that when she was a kid, she loved to shoot bows and arrows, so I got her one. Well, the bow. I guess you don't carry arrow here.
What bow?
This one? I mean, it's kind of soft, and stringy, but I assume it's the girl version?
You haven't been with a lot of girls have you, sir?
No, why- Oh sorry, I have to go. Thanks for everything, Miss!
Wait, sir, that's a- oh forget it.
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So, what did you get Tomoyo?
Promise you won't get jealous, Mei?
Why would I get jealous?
Because I would never put this much thought into your gift.
Nope, not jealousy…An insane feeling to…kill someone, could it be?
Ha, ha, very funny, Mei. Anyway here they are!
Oh my God! How far do you plan on getting tonight with her?
What do you mean?
What's this?
A bow!
It's a THONG, Yamisaki!
What? I thought a thong was a stringy underwear that…Oh.
And what's this?
It's a dress for the big doll I won her a couple of years ago!
No, it's a teddy! It's like more like sexy underwear!
What?
Yes! Oh, God. What store did you go to?
X-Rated…
And you didn't know it was a sex shop?
I don't know! You're confusing me!
I feel bad for Tomoyo. You can't give her any of these things without her thinking you're a pervert.
Ugh! But at least, please say this is a slingshot.
Don't tell me you don't recognize what that is.
A slingshot for two balls! They even had different sizes!
Yes, Eriol, let's go with that.
End Flashback
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To: E. Hiragizawa
From: S. Li
Sub: Wow.
Wow. Again. I didn't think you were serious when I first read it. But then I realized you were. And how sad it was. Sorry. But, anyway, this woman heard me and Sakura (yes, we are going out now) arguing and offered to pay us to, well, I guess argue for her magazine. At first we refused, but after she told us how much she'd pay us…It was a lot. It was 1/8 of what we owe Shay International. So what could we do but accept?
Li
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S. Li's Blog
Hey. If you're still reading this, I assume that you're pretty lonely right now, seeing that it is Christmas. And, you guys were all losers anyway, to find this blog in the first place, but let's not continue on with that. My girlfriend's in the tub right now. She's feeling a bit better now that we earned some serious cash, but still a bit depressed that she couldn't remember…our…activities last night. I'm trying to restrain myself from bursting into the tub right now and doing…things.
So how do I feel right now? Hmm…
Hard…my back aches (ha, bet you thought the other way…then again, that's true too…Sakura naked in a tub…ohh…)
Amused…my, sad to say, friend thought a thong was a bow and arrow.
Ready…for something…do I need to say more?
Drunk…We had a bit too much to drink.
Wow. Interesting. The first letters of them all spell HARD. If that's not a sign for sex, I don't know what is.
I'm starting to see why my friend thought I was a bit perverted. Blame the free porno we got for months last year. The pleasure…
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Hi Eriol!
Hey Tomoyo. You look good. Ready to go?
Is something wrong?
No, it's just…nothing.
What is it?
Iwenttoasexshopandboughtyouabunchofnaughtthingsthatithoughtwassomethingelsebecauseididntknowthatitwasasexshopinthefirstplace.
What?
I went to a sex shop and bought you a bunch of things that I thought was something else because I didn't know it was a sex shop in the first place.
Wow. I wasn't expecting that.
Are you mad?
Oh, no, of course not! I was just surprised! I mean, what would you say if I walked in like you did and said that?
I would have thought that it was really hot.
Oh my goodness. Guys.
Yeah. So, are you ready to go? I don't want to be late. I think you're really going to like it milady.
Alright, let's- mmm…
Ready?
Y-yeah.
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To: Tomoyo
From: Chi
Sub: hmm…
Ok, you're probably not back from your date with Eriol yet, but I just had to write you this. Yamizaki came home while I was in the tub, and decorated everything. It's…indescribable. I'm just so happy hat he came back. I just wanted to let you know that so you would know that I'm okay, cause you were SO worried (not that I'm complaining…). Hehe. Anyway, how was your date? Tell me all about it.
Chi
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To: Chi
From: Tomoyo
Sub: Well, well, well…
Someone had a good Christmas. Good, because you deserve it Chi. My day was…interesting. Eriol came to my apartment and told me he went into a sex shop, that he didn't know was a sex shop, and got me a whole bunch of stuff. It's pretty funny once you think about it. But we had a really good time. I…really like him. And, plus, now I have more bras, teddies, and thongs. Exactly what I wanted for Christmas. Did I tell you he kissed me? Yep, twice- once before we left my apartment, and after we got back. It was amazing.
Tomoyo
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Hey Syaoran?
Yeah?
I never gave you my present for Christmas.
You don't have too. You know what I wanted.
Come on; just give me a minute…
Ruin the moment, why don't you?
You're such a girl!
Excuse me? My penis is bigger than any girl's!
Syaoran, how's it feel to be right about something for the very first time?
Ha, ha. Very funny.
Hold on, ok?
Yeah.
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You're under arrest, sir!
No, you see, this is my friend Syaoran Li's office! He's the president, and I'm the vice-president!
Oh, really?
Yes!
Oh, well, in that case let us introduce ourselves. This is Baloo, the king of Balooland and I'm Galoo, the king of, guess what, Galooland!
No, wait!
Don't mess around and we'll try to take off a couple of years!
What?
You were breaking and entering, sir.
No, ouch that hurts! You hit my breast!
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Here it is, Syao.
Well, here's yours.
You got me something?
Of course!
Alright, well open them together, on three, ok?
One…
Two…
Three…
You got me a teddy bear….
You got me a teddy bear….
I love you Syaoran Li.
I love you Sakura Kinomoto.
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a/n: hope u liked. : ) any ideas 4 the nxt chapter will be g8tly appreciated. Other wise, expect it out in a week or two. Or three. Hehe. Anyway, reviews appreciated. To those who reviewed...thanks so much. it really means a lot to me! You rox! Luv u guys dearly...but not queerly anyway.
toodles til nxt time
xoxo
Redezvous