Disclaimer-Still not mine. If it was mine, Sasori would be alive, and Zetsu would eat Tobi.

Warning- Angst. Unfortunately. Also, yaoiness! Huzzah for Kisame x Deidara! And let's not forget the Tobi bashing, either.

3. Loss

Deidara sighed as he watched Tobi run screaming around on the water. Of course they would give him the stupidest member possible as a new partner. This kid was so much more bearable when he was with Zetsu.

…he missed Sasori-danna. At least he was smart.

He slipped a hand into his bag of clay, and produced a Uogata Nendo (1) and dropped it into the water below. There was hardly a splash as he manipulated it to swim near the Sanbi's (2) head, and then explode.

"Did you see that, Deidara-san?" Tobi called. "My one-hit KO jutsu defeated it! Leaving a new member such as me with this huge task is something to be commended! I did it, didn't I?"

"…No. My exploding dolls were the ones that created art. It's all thanks to my art, un!" Deidara snapped. Tobi really was getting on his nerves.

He created another bird besides the one he was riding on, and dropped to the water, both tori gliding in a circle around him. They landed, and the two Akatsuki members tied chain-and-chakra core ropes around the Sanbi's head and front legs, attaching the other ends to the two birds. Deidara and Tobi got on to the left hand one and began towing it towards the shore.

Deidara lectured Tobi as they flew. "Now Tobi, don't get on the drawing!" he said. "The three-tails wasn't a jinchuuriki, so it's weak. It didn't have enough smarts to control its own strength."

Tobi said nothing. When Deidara looked around at him, he was lying on the birds back instead of sitting or standing.

Silence.

"…hey Tobi, I didn't mean to take it literally," Deidara said in disgust at his partner's silence. "At least say something…"

"…zzzzzzz."

Twitch.

Bwoosh!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tobi yelled as he was blown off the bird.

"YOU IMBECILE! HOW'S THAT FOR A WAKE-UP CALL!" Deidara practically screamed.

They met Zetsu at the water's edge.

"Zetsu," Deidara said grumpily, foregoing a greeting. "How the hell do you stand this idiot, un?"

"What?"

Tobi came into view, limping across the water, soaking wet.

"…Oh."

"Zetsu-san!" Tobi yelled. "Hi!"

It was all Deidara could do not to smash his head against a wall. He rather fancied the idea of smashing Tobi's head against a wall, but one thing stood in the way of both these ideas: there were no walls in the current vicinity.

Maybe a tree would work? Damn Sasori for getting himself killed. He would know.

Guessing what was on the Iwa nin's mind by the look on his face, Zetsu decided to get out of there fast. "Er… We'll take the Sanbi in. Go ahead and get back to Kawa no Kuni (3)."

Deidara grumbled. The only good thing about this was that once back at the hideout, he'd be able to keep away from Tobi. And he could probably lock himself in his room… Yeah, that would be nice…

"Oh… Deidara. Hoshigaki and Uchiha just returned from their current mission."

Well. That made things much better.

"Come on," Deidara snapped to the masked man, hopping back onto a bird and exploding the other. It knocked down some trees that almost, but not quite, hit Tobi. Damn. "Get on. I'm going, now." Tobi scramble on, and the bird took off fast enough to make him fall over backwards.

The blonde calmly straddled the bird's neck and settled for a long flight. It was at least four hours until they'd get there, though possibly shorter at this rate.

They got there in two. Tobi had a hell of a time hanging on. Deidara was rather pleased. He thought Sasori would be, too.

He jumped off the bird, and his partner just barely made it off before he exploded the clay tori, completely disregarding the fact that they were still twenty feet off the ground. What was ninja training for? If you could jump from tree to tree when they were a good thirty-five to fifty feet apart, you could handle a measly distance of twenty feet.

Apparently, Tobi had never learned the correct way to land, as he landed on his feet and promptly fell over from the resistance of the ground. "Itai!" he yelled.

"Baka," muttered Deidara as he landed lightly on the ground, using chakra to push against gravity. Sasori always knew what would happen, and he knew how to land. The blonde brushed off his robes and strode calmly to the dark sort of hole hung with paper warding spells against unwanted visiting ninja and senseless citizens of the town several kilometers away that was the entrance of their base of operations, so to speak.

He ignored Tobi as the other nin tried frantically to get his attention. He went through the winding passage that took them to the series of caves and tunnels carved out by a river eons ago that formed their hideout, living quarters, kitchen, etc., losing the damned idiot in the process.

He took a left turn after three breaks to other tunnels and headed down the corridor that lead to the various members' rooms. He passed Hidan's, Kakuzu's, Zetsu's, his, the one that was formerly Sasori's but now Tobi's (damn the brat!), and finally came to a heavy wooden door with a sign tacked on by three shuriken and a senbon needle, saying "KEEP YOUR DAMN NOSE OUT OF MY ROOM." A small "Or else" was scribbled beneath it.

Deidara kicked the door open rather forcefully. Kisame started and fell off his bed. The blonde ignored this and plopped himself down, fuming, in the space the Kiri nin had formerly occupied.

"He's such an idiot, un," he complained to the grumbling shark nin. "He acts so immature he makes me feel old. I'm only nineteen, un! And damn it, I'm the one supposed to be an idiot! Un!"

Kisame got to his feet. "Eh… what is this about?"

Deidara huffed and scowled sulkily. "My partner is a godsdamned idiot, with no more sense than that blonde Kyuubi brat, un," he said scathingly. He waved his only arm (4). "Really, he's older than me! (5) Un!"

Kisame blinked confusedly. His koi was really annoyed if it was bothering the blonde this much. "Er…"

"You were right, he did have a death wish, un," the blonde went on bitterly. "So he went and got himself killed, and now I'm stuck with this idiot." He slumped down in his seat, depressed.

Kisame sat down carefully next to the Iwa nin. He knew Deidara had been especially close to the puppeteer, and he was still hurting from the Suna nin's demise a month prior. It didn't help that his new partner was and idiot- pretty much everyone in Akatsuki agreed on this, besides Zetsu and Tobi himself.

He hugged his koi. Deidara wrapped his one arm around him miserably.

A/n- Short and rather angsty. I really didn't mean for it to turn out this way. I'll probably put up another chapter later during the same time period.

(1) Uogata Nendo- Fish shaped exploding clay

(2) Sanbi- Three-tailed turtle-like demon. Does not have a jinchuuriki.

(3) Kawa no Kuni- Land of the River. Where the Akatsuki hideout is.

(4) Because one arm was squished by Gaara's sand, it couldn't be… whatever it is they did. Anyway, he has his right arm back.

(5) No one really knows how old Tobi is, but I think maybe around Itachi's age or something. And since Deidara's the youngest, two and two equals four… you know.