Hellooooooooooooooo... .hack/sign happens to be one of my favorite video games and in my top five for TV. So I decided to write this fic.

Disclaimer: Don't own. There, you happy?

Ok. This starts out as one-sided Mimiru/Tsukasa, but contains Tsukasa/Subaru and Crim/Sora. It develops into Mimiru/Balmung and then finally a full Mimiru/Tsukasa. Lotsa luuuuuuurve in this fic. It's rated Teen for cutting, sexual themes, blase, blase, blase. Regular teenager angst and violence. Oh and by the way, if you find any mistakes, please tell me. Thanks.

Summary: Mimiru has always been in love with Tsukasa, but allows him to be happy with Subaru. Unfortunately, now she's overly depressed and is beginning to lose herself. Will Tsukasa snap out of his happy stupor and save her? Or will Mimiru's new friends continue to drag her into a world of drugs, music, sex and fame?

CHAPTER ONE:

OBSCURITY

Mimiru sat underneath the stairs of her high school. It was her favorite hiding place during lunch. There was no point in eating with Tsukasa anymore. He was always with Subaru. She could remember a time when it was just the two of them. Oh, how the times had changed.

Mimiru took a sip from her can of soda and put the can back on the ground. The auditions were tonight. A guitarist, a drummer, and a pianist were in need of a vocalist. Tsukasa had told Mimiru that she had a lovely voice. So Mimiru planned on trying out for them. The auditions were taking place in an abandoned warehouse in the middle of town. Originally, Tsukasa had volunteered to go with her.

"But he has a special date with Subaru!" Mimiru spat out vehemently. I did so much for him… and this is how he repays me? Then, after thinking that, Mimiru felt extremely guilty. I'm so selfish sometimes…

Tsukasa and Mimiru had known each other since they were eight years old. Tsukasa had been the new kid in their elementary school and all the other boys had picked on him. They all thought Tsukasa had looked weird: with his short, unkempt silver hair and sad purple eyes.

Mimiru had been the first child to befriend Tsukasa. The two formed an instant friendship and the bullies quickly left Tsukasa alone, because no one wanted to face the wrath of Mimiru.

A year later, the two were the best of friends, but for some odd reason, Tsukasa never let Mimiru go to his house. One day Mimiru blew up and refused to speak to Tsukasa, unless he gave her a good reason why. Tsukasa reluctantly informed her that his father abused him and made her promise not to tell a soul.

Of course, that was a promise Mimiru could not keep. She told her gym teacher, named Bear, that Tsukasa couldn't play with them because his father beat him up too much. Bear had instantly contacted the police.

Tsukasa had refused to speak to Mimiru for a week afterwards. Tsukasa's father lost custody of him and Bear had adopted him. Gradually, Tsukasa began to appreciate Mimiru's decision. The two quickly picked up where they left off on their friendship, growing even closer, if possible.

The best part was that Bear had moved Tsukasa into his new house, which happened to be right next door to Mimiru's house. The two friends had been ecstatic. They were constantly over each other's houses and Mimiru even came with Tsukasa when he had his sessions with the local child psychiatrist.

Years passed and the two were in paradise, completely happy. Then, in their first year of high school, a new student came to their class. As soon as Tsukasa had seen Subaru, he blushed. Mimiru had taken it up on herself to set the two of them up, not realizing what a mistake it was at the time.

Since Subaru was probably the smartest girl in their grade, Mimiru had decided to use this to her advantage. She had invited Subaru over her house to help her with homework. Then she had told Subaru that she had accidentally "left" one of her notebooks with Tsukasa.

So the two girls traveled to Tsukasa's house. Boy had he been surprised when he opened the door! The three eventually ended up back at Mimiru's house. Mimiru had to play cupid for the next two month. It took that long to get them to go on a date alone.

But then… the dates started getting more frequent and Mimiru began to see less of Tsukasa outside of school. Mimiru began to feel alone and depressed. Tsukasa on the other hand, was much happier. Mimiru began to feel inadequate and lifeless. Tsukasa began to feel more confident about himself and began living more actively. Mimiru became masochistic. Tsukasa began to indulge himself.

Over two years, Mimiru and Tsukasa basically switched personalities. And the worst part was, Tsukasa didn't even seem to notice. He didn't notice that Mimiru began borrowing more of Tsukasa's dark and bleak clothing. He didn't notice that she began to borrow more of his depressing music. He didn't notice the scars on her arms. He didn't notice any of it and that hurt Mimiru the most. He seemed to be too wrapped up in his own happiness to care about anything else.

"But… doesn't he deserve it?" Mimiru asked herself out loud. Sure, he deserved it. But did Mimiru deserve this neglect? For how long had she stayed with Tsukasa, healing his wounds, soothing him, stopping him from cutting himself… And now when she needed Tsukasa the most…

I hate Tsukasa. I hate him being everything that I'm not. I hate him for being my exact opposite. I hate him for making me fall in love with him. I hate him for being so oblivious to my feelings for him. I hate that "opposites attract". I hate that everyone lies to me. Opposites don't attract, because if they did, Tsukasa and I would be together. But he's not with me.

He's with Subaru… Always with Subaru, always smiling and talking with Subaru, always holding hands and blushing with Subaru… I HATE THEM BOTH! They should die… but even death won't separate them… They're a match made in heaven and there's nothing I can do about it.

I can't do anything for Tsukasa anymore… Subaru does everything I used to do for him… It's almost like… she filled in the slots for girlfriend and best friend… He probably wouldn't care if I died right in front of him… Why would he? I'm obviously worthless…

Mimiru could feel tears forming in her eyes and angrily wiped them away. Each time Mimiru had thought the words "I hate", she cut herself. Eight new slashes were on her left arm. She watched the blood drip on the floor in fascination. She finished her soda and the open bag of candy she had.

Mimiru stood up and left, leaving the can, the bag, and the bloody scissors behind. She quickly ran to the bathroom, clutching her arm tightly. Mimiru rapidly scrubbed her arm with a wet paper towel and then held it in place, apply pressure to her open cuts.

Mimiru heard a toilet flush and a door open, but completely disregarded it. Then she heard the shocked, but soft gasp that could only belong to one vile person. "Subaru, what do you want now?" She whirled around furiously, still grasping her arm. God… now she's going to act all concerned… I'm not in the mood for her patronizing voice… Why can't she just die and go to heaven already? Since that's where she clearly belongs, since she's so perfect!

Subaru stood there, staring at Mimiru's arm as if it was alive. Rolling her eyes, Mimiru rolled down her sleeve, concealing the cuts. "Mimiru… Why? Why would you this to yourself?" Subaru's worried amber-colored eyes stared into Mimiru's uninterested blue-green ones.

Mimiru ran a hand through her disheveled, brown hair. She responded by stalking out of the bathroom and almost crashed into someone. And of course, it was Subaru's knight in shining armor, who loved her so much that he couldn't even let her walk to the bathroom alone.

"Mimiru!" Tsukasa smiled softly. "How are you?"

"You would know, if you bothered to spend time with me anymore." Mimiru sauntered right past him without another word. She had more things to worry about. Like her audition, for instance.

The rest of the school day went by agonizingly slow. It was finally the last class of the day: Literature. This was the only class that Subaru didn't have with Tsukasa. Mimiru was surprised that Subaru didn't transfer in the class.

Mimiru was staring out the window, pondering the song she was going to sing for the audition. When she finally broke her gaze to turn to the next page in her textbook, she found that there was a note on her desk. Already knowing who it was from, Mimiru opened the note, feeling slightly annoyed, but yet slightly happy.

Mimiru,

I hope you're not too mad that I'm missing your audition tonight. I'm really sorry, but it's the night of my two-year anniversary with Subaru and I had planned this for days. I'll make it up to you, I promise. Tomorrow, we can go to the mall if you'd like. Or we can go to that new museum that just opened up downtown.

Tsukasa

Mimiru turned the note over and scribbled on it: Don't bother. I just need to quickly come over your place to borrow some clothes and music for my audition. She quickly passed the note to the person next to her.

"Mimiru!" Their Literature teacher, BT had snapped sharply. "I'm going to disregard your note, if you'll come up here and read the poem you were supposed to write for homework yesterday. I hope you're prepared."

As if! If I'm going to be a singer, I need to learn how to write lyrics! This is my chance to prove I can do it! Mimiru looked through her folder until she found the folded paper inside. She strode up the front of the classroom and sat right on BT's desk. She knew the blonde was probably livid at this point, but she didn't care. Mimiru took a deep breath and began to read the poem she wrote at lunch:

"Dear Sweet November,

Why must you be so cold?

Dear Sweet November,

Why must you always scold?

Dear Sweet November,

Why did you hurt me so?

Dear Sweet November,

Why did you ever go?"

Mimiru finished abruptly and stared out at the class, already bored again. The class erupted in cheers and she gradually grinned. "Was that good enough for you?" Mimiru turned around, smirking at the blonde sitting behind the desk.

"Better than I expected. You even tied it in with the beginning of the month." BT said sarcastically, but there was a proud smile on her face. True, it was the beginning of November. "You may sit."

Mimiru went back to her seat and the rest of the class went smoothly. Before she knew it, Mimiru was at home. Her mother had the day off, so she was probably at the library. Her eight-year-old brother, Motoki? Probably off somewhere playing soccer. Her father was still hard at work at the hospital.

Mimiru quickly did most of her homework. She had to complete a few problems for math, write another poem, and write up a lap report for chemistry. A little over an hour later, Mimiru was finally done.

It was almost five o'clock. The auditions started at six sharp. Mimiru decided to head over to Tsukasa's house to get her supplies. She went out the side door of her house and ran over to Tsukasa's. Since she had her own key, she let herself in.

"Bear! Tsukasa! I'm here!" Mimiru shouted, taking off her shoes. She bounded into the living room and spotted Bear sitting in his favorite reclining chair, reading the paper.

"Hello, Mimiru. Tsukasa is upstairs, getting ready for his big night." Bear grinned up at Mimiru. "I just bought some cookies today."

"Great! I'll take some on my way out!" Bear had become something of a second father to Mimiru. She leapt up the stairs and burst into Tsukasa's room. The boy was sitting at his desk, writing something.

"Tsukasa, I need an outfit for my audition tonight!" For some odd reason, she was in a good mood now. Tsukasa turned around and grinned, pointing to his bed. Mimiru sauntered over to it and saw the outfit that Tsukasa had laid out for her. Her eyes widened in astonishment. Those definitely weren't his clothes!

"Tsukasa… you bought these for me?" Mimiru turned to Tsukasa, slowly grinning. I can't believe he did that… it's been so long since I got a gift from him…

"Of course." Tsukasa stood up. "Go try them on in the bathroom." Mimiru nodded quickly, grabbed the clothes, and ran to the bathroom. She quickly tore off her clothes and put on the new ones.

Mimiru looked at herself in the mirror. She was now wearing a black T-shirt and a rather short black skirt. The T-shirt had a silver heart in the middle and it was outlined in blood red. The skirt had black and white pattered patches all over it. The skirt had a zipped pocket in it and when Mimiru opened it, she pulled out a beautiful necklace.

The necklace had a silver chain and a blue-green opal was attached to it. She quickly put it on, admiring her new look in the mirror. Mimiru dashed out of the bathroom and ran into Tsukasa's room.

Mimiru grabbed Tsukasa in a tight hug. "Thank you so much!" Mimiru squealed happily. "You're the best!"

"You're welcome…" Tsukasa put his hands on her back. "Good luck at your audition tonight. I'm sure you'll do fine." Mimiru excitedly broke away from Tsukasa and ran downstairs to show Bear.

"How do I look, Bear?" Mimiru twirled around cheerfully.

"Beautiful." Bear hugged her tightly. "Do your parents know about this audition of yours?" The smile vanished from Mimiru's face. "Very well, I thought so. I'll keep it a secret, but if you make it, you have to tell him. Understood?"

"In that case, I'm done for! Cause I definitely made it!" Mimiru shouted confidently. "TSUKASA! I'M GONNA GO NOW!" She bellowed loudly. "SEE YOU ON MONDAY!"

Bear shook his head at Mimiru and sat back down. "You'll do fine, Mimiru. Go break a leg." He tousled her brown hair and kissed her on the forehead. "Now go take those cookies for good luck."

"Of course." Mimiru ran to the kitchen and grabbed a handful of cookies. She let herself out the screen door and dashed all the way back to her house. Mimiru ran upstairs and into the bathroom, only to find her brother washing his hands. "Hurry up! I need to take a shower!"

"Where are you going?" Motoki blinked at her, confused. "If Mom sees you wearing that, she'll kill you."

"You'd better not tell her." Mimiru snapped warningly. Motoki rolled his eyes and it was clear that he had no intention of telling their mother.

"You'd better hurry up. She gets home in a half hour." Motoki told her, drying his hands with a towel. "I know, I know. I'll cover for you."

"Love you!" Mimiru shoved Motoki out the door and took off her clothes. Twenty minutes later, Mimiru was dressed, bathed, and ready. She took a small backpack out of her closet, snuck outside, and ran to the bus stop.

Ten stops later, Mimiru was finally at her destination. She found herself in the dark, gloomy part of her town. The streets were bleak and empty. The warehouse loomed before her and she wondered if she came to the wrong place.

Then she saw a red-haired boy wearing an outrageous outfit walk past her. Mimiru followed him into the warehouse and was amazed by what she saw. There was a huge stage, a bunch of seats, a few vending machines, and a desk far to the left. There was a small line in front of the desk.

Mimiru waited in line for about fifteen minutes. The man sitting behind the desk had long, spiked up blue hair and he had part of it in a thin ponytail.

Mimiru finally reached the man sitting "My name is Mimiru." She smirked down at the man, who was wearing an odd red outfit. "I'm fifteen years old and I'm singing a song called 'Fly Me to the Moon' by Frank Sinatra."

"Great song." The man grinned up at her, writing all the information down. "You obviously know what you're doing. I like that. I usually have to ask all the questions. My name is Crim." He handed her a slip of paper with a number on it.

"Nice to meet you, Crim. What instrument do you play?" Mimiru asked casually. Might as well get to know him…

"I play the guitar." Crim looked behind Mimiru. "The line just got a lot longer, so I'm afraid I must cut our conversation short. See you later."

"Bye!" Mimiru took off towards the vending machines. She took her money out of her bag and purchased some chips and a soda. She then joined the other participators who were sitting down.

Mimiru quickly ate the cookies, her chips, and gulped down her soda. I'm number twenty. And it looks like there's about fifty more people who still have to get signed up. More and more keep showing up… I hope I don't have to sit through all their auditions, too. I wonder what excuse Motoki is making up for me…

Mimiru waited impatiently, looking around for a clock. She must have dozed off, because when she woke up, the first thing she heard was singing. Bad singing, to be exact. A brunette was standing up on the stage, belting out an Evanescence song and completely ruining it.

Mimiru noticed that now all the seats were filled. She poked the person sitting next to her. "What number is she?" She whispered.

"Eighteen." The man hissed back.

Mimiru's eyes widened. I almost slept through my own audition! How could I do such a thing? She was determined not to let this stop her. But then again… she did wake up just in time. It must've been destiny!

Feeling slightly nervous, Mimiru stood up and crept by the stage where another singer was waiting. "I never thought I'd see someone come near the stage when someone like her is singing up there." The singer grinned politely at her.

"Funny thing is, she woke me up." And the two shared a nervous laugh.

Finally, the brunette was finished! She leapt off the stage as if she owned it and seemed to ignore the fact that no one clapped for her. The singer in front of Mimiru handed his slip of paper to a woman wearing all black. He quickly ran up the steps and took the microphone, explaining a bit about himself.

The singer sang "Existentialism on Prom Night" and he sang it well. Mimiru's mouth dropped open. He's really good… what if he makes it instead of me? And I bet he has more support than I do… Tsukasa isn't even here to cheer me on… He's with Subaru!

Finally, the boy finished singing. The entire audience applauded him. Some people even stood up and clapped. The boy excitedly jumped off the stage and ran away. The female in black gestured to Mimiru and she nervously gave her the piece of paper. "Go ahead." The woman gave Mimiru a little push.

Mimiru ran up the steps and slowly walked to the middle of the stage. She looked at her five judges. Her mouth dropped open. "Miss BT? What are you doing here?" Why on Earth was her Literature teacher a judge for a band? This made absolutely no sense… She gripped the microphone nervously.

"Nice to see you also, Mimiru." BT smirked up at Mimiru. "I had no idea you could sing. Just to let you knuckleheads know, she happens to be an excellent writer." Mimiru blushed at this compliment.

Mimiru studied her other judges. Sitting next to BT was a green-haired, dark-eyed man with a sneering sort of look on his face. Next to that man was Crim, who winked at Mimiru. But the man sitting next to Crim caught her eye the most. He had short, messy white hair and piercing green eyes. There was a black-haired, gray-eyed girl sitting next to BT. She smiled politely at Mimiru.

"What song are you singing, Mimiru?" Crim asked causally.

"'Fly Me to the Moon'." Mimiru answered immediately.

"Well, start already!" The green-haired man snapped and BT hit him in the head. "Don't start with me!" Mimiru cleared her throat and began to sing:

"Fly me to the moon

Let me play among the stars

Let me see what spring is like

On Jupiter and Mars

In other words, hold my hand

In other words, baby, kiss me

Fill my heart with song

Let me sing forevermore

You are all I long for

All I worship and adore

In other words, please be true

In other words, I love you…"

Mimiru let out a deep breath. She had given it her all, pushed away all her nervousness. She didn't need Tsukasa to cheer her on. She didn't need anyone. Then she heard the applauding. BT stood up and clapped as well.

"Now then, Mimiru. You'd better get home quickly. I hope your parents know you're out this late. Consider yourself lucky it's not a school night." BT crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you need a ride?"

Uh-oh… I didn't bring any money for the bus ride home… Are there even any buses running at this hour? What time is it anyway? Mimiru blinked blankly. "Yes, that'd be great!" Mimiru grinned widely and bowed, running off the stage. Mimiru found an empty seat in the back and it didn't take her long to fall asleep again. It was the first peaceful sleep Mimiru had in a long time…

"Mimiru. Mimiru." Someone was whispering in her ear. Mimiru's eyes fluttered open and she looked around, confused. Why was she sleeping in a chair? And why was her teacher there?

"Miss… BT?" Mimiru sat up, shaking her head. "What time is it?"

"Almost eleven." BT said calmly.

"W-what?" Mimiru was fully awake now. "My parents are going to kill me!" All the other singers were left and someone was putting the chairs back. Someone else was picking up garbage.

"Well, you should have thought about that before you came here." BT pointed out, shrugging. "Now come on, we're driving you home."

"We?" Mimiru repeated, putting on her backpack.

BT didn't reply at she led Mimiru to her black SUV outside. There were loud noises coming from the inside. BT opened up the driver's door. "What are you doing in there, knuckleheads?" The blonde snapped. "Mimiru, get in the seat behind me." Mimiru meekly obeyed, opening the door and sitting down.

Now the SUV was full. The white-haired judge was sitting in the passenger's seat. Crim was sitting behind the white-haired man and the green-haired man was sitting directly next to Mimiru. The black-haired girl was sitting in the trunk. Mimiru gave her a puzzling look.

"Don't worry. She likes it back there." Crim gave her a kind smile. "She'd rather sit back there than next to Sora." Crim hit the green-haired man in the arm.

"Oh, you're so strong! Oh, by the way. I happen to be Sora." The green-haired man, Sora flashed her a brilliant grin. "I must say, you are gorgeous." Mimiru responded by pulling on one of his very large bangs. Crim burst out laughing and the white-haired man smirked. "What are you looking at, Balmung?" So that's his name… he's cute! Mimiru smiled at the white-haired man.

"Hands off, Sora. She's still in high school." BT snapped, turning her car on. She began driving rapidly.

"Are you insane? What kind of teacher drives this fast?" Mimiru shouted at the top of her lungs. She turned around, feeling sorry for the girl sitting in the trunk. After all, it was Mimiru's fault. But then… all feelings of remorse were replaced with confusion.

The girl had the largest grin on her face as her entire body was thrown every which way, no thanks to BT's driving. She was even laughing at some points. Her wild gray eyes caught Mimiru's and the girl smiled even wider.

"Don't mind Faith." Crim shook his head. "She thinks everything is a game. She sits in the trunk every time BT drives, because she enjoys rolling around…"

"Okay…" Mimiru blinked, not sure what to say. So BT is an insane driver, Sora is a pedophile, Crim is way too laid back, Faith is a hyperactive psychopath, and Balmung seems to be just as antisocial as Tsukasa. Remembering Tsukasa, brought a look of pain onto her face.

"Mimiru, what's wrong?" A kind voice asked from behind. It was Faith.

She noticed? She's smarter than she lets on… Mimiru shook her head sadly. "I'm fine thank y-" She broke off as BT made a sharp turn and everyone was thrown to the left. Mimiru was squished. Faith was squealing like a happy baby.

"BT, you're so much fun! I love it when you drive!" Faith shouted joyfully as BT turned onto Mimiru's road.

"How do you know where I live?" Mimiru asked suspiciously.

"I'm a teacher, Mimiru." BT said dryly. "Now, what do you plan on telling your parents?"

"I don't know." Mimiru shrugged. "I'll just crash at Tsukasa's." She took the spare key to Tsukasa's house out. "Drive past the house with the blue car." BT obeyed, giving Mimiru an odd look through the mirror. "Thanks! You drove so fast, I didn't even realize how close I was to home!"

"So wait. Tsukasa lives right next door to you?" Faith asked incredulously. "And you have the key to his house? Wow, that's weird. Isn't he that kid that got adopted by his gym teacher a couple years back?"

"Yeah, that's him." Mimiru unlocked the door, wanting to get off the subject of Tsukasa. "Thanks a bunch!" She shot out the car and ran through Tsukasa's lawn, finally reaching his front door. She quietly opened the door and stole in. As she turned around to close and lock the door, she realized that BT had waited until she was inside the house.

The black SUV turned around and drove off. Mimiru smiled as she locked the door. The house was silent and dark, so she figured that both Bear and Tsukasa were sleeping. She crept in the kitchen to grab a bite to eat.

Mimiru poured herself a glass of juice and put some chicken and rice in the microwave to heat up. After eating her late dinner, Mimiru was finally ready to get some shuteye. She was too lazy to go to the guest room upstairs, so she decided to crash on the couch.

As she was falling asleep, Mimiru pondered the events of the day: Subaru seeing her arm, Tsukasa buying her the clothes and the necklace, finding out that BT was involved with a band, and being applauded for singing. It had been a good day. Even though Tsukasa didn't still love her. Mimiru closed her eyes softly.

Woot Woot! First chappie... FINITO! Please review!

Next time... Mimiru and Tsukasa spend some quality time together... but of course... something goes wrong!