A/N: Hey everyone! Here's the next chapter, I am attempting to mend something, so hopefully it works out. I wrote this one quickly so I really hope that it all makes sense and is believable. Read and Review!
Chapter 7: Do you really want to be with me?
Draco began to regret his decision to ask Hermione out once Christmas Break had started. He wasn't sure why he had even done it. He contemplated his actions and deciding it had been a mixture of the holiday and his strained mind that had caused him to do something so unMalfoy-like as to ask out Hermione Granger. It was unheard of for any Malfoy to like a mudblood in the first place, why should he be any different?
They were all on their way back to King's Crossing as he mused over his and Hermione's newfound "relationship"- if it could be really called that, since they hadn't at all talked since last night- for ten more minutes finding no other alternative reasoning (for he could most assuredly not actually like her) for his dilemma.
She had looked pretty last night, dressed up for the party. Even later, in spite of the frizzy mess that had been created due to their trip down the staircase, she still had the hint of attractiveness. She didn't even need mounds of makeup caked onto her face to look that way, much unlike Pansy (but she's just a slag anyways), she just did naturally. She was clever, too, which helped.
You silly putz, stop thinking about her already. Draco shook his head violently hoping, praying for his mind to be cleared of the image of Hermione Granger. Sighing deeply, he closed his eyes, leaning his head against the train compartment wall.
"Draco…" Merlin, you've got to be joking! Draco thought. Not only was he seeing her in his mind, he was hearing her, too. He felt me must be mental now if he wasn't already before. He raised his head and shook it, resembling a dog shaking water from its coat; in this case every thought of Hermione was the dreaded water that must be expelled from his being.
"Draco!" Hermione's voice was much clearer, this time. Draco opened his eyes, revealing a very real Hermione Granger standing right in front of him. She had seen his rather odd display; a look of concern mingled with amusement lingered on her fair-skinned face.
"Um, are you alright there, you look like you are having a mad fit." Hermione choked back her laughter, trying her hardest to keep a straight face. He had looked so ridiculous, his blonde hair moving about in every which way; now it lay so unruly that his hair looked much like a blonde version of Harry's.
"I, er, I… um…" Draco couldn't think of what to say to explain his actions. He was so embarrassed to have been seen in such a state. "I'm fine." Was all he could think of.
"Really? Are you quite sure, because you don't look it," Hermione questioned. Really, in spite of the red flush that now spread over his face, there was a greyish tinge too it, accented by dark circles under his eyes. "Have you been sleeping alright?"
Oh Merlin, one night and she is already acting as if she were my mother! "Of course I didn't get enough sleep last night, after our round under the mistletoe. It took hours to get to sleep." Draco shut his mouth right away, mentally swearing not to say another word. It had come out as if he had been thinking of her all night, and as if he had been happy they had kissed. Damn it. He turned to face the window, refusing to look at her.
Hermione blushed a little, remembering last night's events. It had happened so fast, she still couldn't believe it had happened at all. What would Harry and Ron say if they ever found out. They'd probably chuck Malfoy at the Whomping Willow hoping it will smash him to death. A vivid image of Draco with a branch impaled though it abdomen flashed in her mind. Harry and Ron could never know.
Hermione wondered if Draco had said anything, or would say anything to Blaise or one of the other Slytherins. She looked at Draco who at this moment seemed unconcerned with her presence (how wrong she was) as he was staring at the hills rolling by out the compartment window. Probably not.
Draco could not stand the silence, however irksome the future conversation may be. "What are you doing here anyways?" Draco asked, still not looking at Hermione, he did not want to find any reason to dislike her any less; he couldn't be tempted like that.
"This is the prefects carriage, Draco. Plus, I figured I might as well come say 'hello,'" She responded all blasé, as if them talking was a normal everyday occurrence, absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.
Draco turned to look at Hermione, getting lost in her chocolaty brown eyes. He did not resurface for another moment, with an "Oh, right then," as his only other acknowledgement of what she had said, however mentally he kicked himself for looking at her. But he continued to look at her, taking in every part of her essence. He couldn't help but find her attractive.
There was something so wholesome about her, something Draco couldn't find in any girl he had shagged at Hogwarts, and most assuredly couldn't find in Pansy. With all the goings on between himself and the Death Eater ranks, he needed that wholesomeness that he, too, no longer possessed. Draco realized that it was this that made him yearn for her touch, for her kiss, for her all together. He wanted to snatch that wholesomeness right out of her soul and make it his own, so he did not have to feel this awful remorse for what he must do. But he couldn't. He had a job to do and it was his alone, and he could not take her down too. What would be the point? Another wasted life?
Making up his mind, Draco searched for the words to say.
"So what are you doing for…" Hermione began to ask.
"Do you really want to be with me?" Draco said, his eyes hardening. This is what he had to do. End this before it even really begins, before it gets serious, or before someone gets hurt.
"What?" Hermione was startled by his abrupt question. Is he serious?
"I asked if you really wanted to be with me, Hermione?" He repeated, though he knew she had in fact heard his questions.
"I don't understand why you are asking me this," Hermione's face was turning red, her body showing all the signs of being uncomfortable.
"Do you honestly think that you and I could work, Hermione? Think, long and hard about this. Where do you see this going?" Draco's voice became stronger and angrier. He was become angry at everything- at what he had to do for the Dark Lord, at what he knew his father would do or say if he every knew about Hermione, at Hermione for just being her, at this bloody train for being slow.
Hermione, cursing herself, pointed her wand at the compartment door, and being a master and nonverbal spell work now, thought "imperturbatus" conspicuously from under her robes. This was one conversation she did not want other people to hear.
"Are you serious? Is this some kind of a joke, Malfoy, because this is not funny," Hermione became quite serious, reinstating the use of Draco's surname.
"This is no joke, Hermione. I am serious. I need to know where you see us going, before this goes any farther. You and I should not be together according to society…"
"No, we shouldn't be together according to your family. Society doesn't give a flying fuck if you and I are together, what difference does it make to them in their daily lives? The only people it should affect are the people involved, Malfoy, you and I." Hermione was furious. This was so stupid.
"You just don't get it do you, Granger. You think you know everything, but this is where you are completely useless. You don't know anything about my family and how I must live and what I must do, and what I can't do."
"So, basically, you don't what to be with me because of your family- or more because of mine." A single tear rolled down her face, but it was not because she was really upset, but more because she was angry- angry at him for being so ignorant. "This is complete bollocks and you bloody well know it, Malfoy."
Draco did not reply for a minute. He didn't really want to end it with Hermione it had only just started. But it couldn't last, it just couldn't.
"Was this your plan, Malfoy? To get me to like you and then get rid of me? Is this what you wanted?" She wanted to hit him so badly, even if he hadn't meant this to happen, she wanted to cause him pain.
"No, Hermione, this wasn't preconceived, I just thought better of it, that's all." Draco threw his arms up in the air, exasperated. This was not working out like he had wanted it to. Why do I have to do this!
"That's all? That's all!" Hermione's voice grew hysterical. "This is so ridiculous. I can't even believe that for one minute I thought that you were different, that you had some how, miraculously, changed. But I can see it now. You are still that self-centered prat that I met back in first year, that I've known for 6 years." Hermione ended her rant, breathing heavily, staring daggers at him. She loathed Draco Malfoy.
Draco was at a loss for what to say or do. On one hand, he honestly did not want her gone, but on the other knew they could not stay together. They would have to keep everything secret, and he would have to keep her hidden from him. If he ever found a weakness, or some sort of way to threaten him, and it was she, Draco knew that one if not both of them may die.
Draco deflated his anger, trying to calm himself down and make sure he spoke the words he wanted to speak. He took her hand; she flinched but did not retract. Draco knew just how angry she must be at him. "Look, all I really meant to say was that if you and I are together, as a couple, that we have to keep it secret. If any one knew it could mean trouble for us both. There are some things about me," Hermione's hand quavered in his, and her eyes unintentionally darted to Draco's left forearm. Draco ignored this gesture, continuing with his speech, "and I am not ready to tell you yet, but they could affect us. I'm not meaning to scare you off or turn you away, but I want you to be aware, so that you know what you are getting yourself into. And if I am the Draco Malfoy that you have know for six years, you should known full well what you are getting yourself into already, I shouldn't have to warn you about that." Draco gave her a smile, hoping to ensure her and his intentions.
Draco could not, and did not want to be with out Hermione. Because of her he was making progress, well better than could be expected, and he because of her he was at least a bit happy- again better than could be expected with his future. Draco did not what to let that, or to let her, go away forever. He thought about the consequences of his actions, and knew it could be worse- he knew he would experience worse in the near future.
"So, with that said, do you still want to be with me?" Draco gazed questioningly at Hermione, still clutching her hand; he did not want to let go.
Hermione contemplated him for a moment before leaning forward and kissing him on the lips. "Only as long as you aren't as much of a prat as you just were," she said smiling. She, too, did not want to be with out him. He was something mysterious that she, even with all her knowledge, could not figure out. He was someone that she wanted to help and make good, as best as possible- this was a Malfoy after all. However, he wasn't yet absolutely incorrigible.
"I can't promise that, Hermione. I am Draco Malfoy, after all." He smiled genuinely at her, glad that this row and been resolved with out any bloodshed, and to both of their likings. He kissed her nose, and said "Shall we patrol the train, now, like we were supposed to be doing?"
"Yes, right, I'm sure people are wondering where we are." Hermione thought the counter curse for the Imperturbable door, and stood up, still clutching Draco's hand. He slid the compartment door open and allowed Hermione to go out ahead of him. As soon as they exited the compartment he squeezed her hand as a "goodbye" and broke away, heading towards the end of the train as she turned the other way.
This is going to be very interesting, thought Hermione as she walked through the corridor of the train.
"Hey, Malfoy!" Draco heard Harry Potter's voice calling from a compartment he had just passed.
Draco turned around to face the Boy Wonder, giving him a most Malfoy-ish sneer. "What do you want, Potter?"
"Do you know where Hermione is?" Harry's voice was very short, conveying that Harry would most assuredly not be speaking to Draco Malfoy if he did not absolutely need to- but Harry did not want to stay in the same compartment as Lavender and Ron- so this was urgent.
"Why the hell would I know that, now?" Draco felt he may gag on his words for speaking to Harry.
"You would have seen her patrolling, git."
"I wouldn't normally waste my breathe on the likes of you, Potter," Draco emphasized Harry's last name, "But she's up there," and he pointed to the front of the Train.
"Right." And Harry exited from his compartment and headed for where Malfoy said Hermione was.
Draco, snickered, pointed his wand at Harry's heels and muttered a Trip Jinx before continuing on with his patrol. He smiled laughing heartily at the sound of Harry's entire body hitting the floor with a thud. He may like one of his best friends, but Draco Malfoy was most certainly not going to go soft for Harry Potter, no matter what girl Draco fancied.
A/N: Okay, so I hope you liked it! I'm not sure when I will be able to write another chapter- I have to do some Senior English work - blah!