Chapter 2 – Undying Remorse
I wish not for eternal life
I wish not for death
All I wish is the eternal death
Of
this remorse that lives
How I could bring my sword down on that child, I could never fathom.
12 long years.
I finally see her again.
It is strange how I sensed her need for help.
Fighting Cloud was interesting yesterday. It seems that he has grown much stronger. Curiousity did implore me to question him how he had improved. Though to which, the moron remained dolefully silent.
The fight could have ensued for ages until…I suddenly heard her cry for help. That cry reverberated in my mind making me feel sick to my stomach.
I realize these overwhelming emotions might have been guilt as memories of killing her father and injuring her flooded my mind.
As a SOLDIER, I had killed countless.
Yet, the guilt evoked from hurting her haunts me day and night.
"General? Would you like your breakfast? " a timid voice startled me out of my retrospection.
I glanced over at the little boy in my door way and shook my head.
"I'll like to be alone today. You can have the day off."
"Thank you, General!" the boy ran off in delight in anticipation of what he could do with his day.
Returning to the comfort of my bed, I turned over on my side to look out the window. It was a brilliant sapphire piece of tapestry woven by Nature itself as the waters of the seas flowed harmoniously with the melody of the Planet.
The Planet.
I frowned, wondering why the term even flickered across my mind. Recently, I could hear sounds of the Planet.
Noise, I call them.
Sliding out of bed easily, I entered the bathroom for an invigorating shower. Extending my hands out in front of me, I scrutinized my skin for any color inconsistencies. Finding none, I stepped out of the shower room satisfied. The rejuvenating process in the Lifestream had consumed much more time than required.
"Jenova must be getting old." I chuckled.
Contrary to popular belief, Jenova does not control me. A decade ago, when I saw that inhumanly beauty encased in metal I was determined to bring her into my life.
My mother.
She was probably the only woman I would ever respect. Beyond those delicate features sequestered formidable strength.
Amidst battles I have engaged in with enemies, Mother has frequently assisted although she has also, in many occasions, interfered.
True, I was angry at the humans for treating Mother this way. The last of the Cetras, I swore revenge for my people.
My strategy was simple.
Destroy the planet and the very inhabitants who made me the orphan I am.
The black material was the key. I was to summon Meteor to squash the planet to bits. Then there ventures along this group headed by that moron determined to stop me.
Oh well, every surviving hero has their obstacles. I shrug.
Striding across my mansion's hallway, I paused to inspect the intricately carved candles that had been placed on ornate candle holders that arrayed down the walls of the entire hallway on either side.
Whoever put them here? I thought irritably.
I hated people having a hand in the things I did.
Mother harbors an abyssal abhorrence of humans because they had imprisoned her in a steely dimension. That very well explained why her plans were always vicious. Truth be told, I always found Mother to be slightly insidious. She never told me anything much, except to order me.
As for me, I sometimes wonder what I was fighting for.
My hatred for humans was born on the day I discovered that I was a mutated being created to bear the brunt of the devastation caused by humans.
As a SOLDIER, I have ordered thousands of other mutated beings like myself to fight and protect the humans.
It was a bitter thought.
Sighing, I wondered if there was anything in the world worth fighting for.
Humans?
No.
The Cetras?
Not really. It is hard to fight for a race you have never known or had any chance to know anything about.
So, why do I keep going after Cloud?
Oh, right. I just remember I hated people having a hand in the things I did.
Seemingly, haunting Cloud has become a sporting event for me. His expression of absolute shock whenever I reveal myself never ceases to amuse me.
The moron.
"You are preparing for the Reunion, my son. Cloud impedes your progress. The Reunion strengthens our position and we can launch Meteor again." A firm voice echoed in my head.
"Argh, stop it! Don't ever read my thoughts like that again." I vented in frustration. Mother always did this.
"A good chance presented forth for you to eliminate Cloud yesterday! Why did you withdraw from the battle right after he attacked you?" Came Jenova's angry retort. I could feel her will flaring against mine, threatening to challenge the territory of my soul.
Buried in the deepest temple of my conscience where Jenova could never enter, the face of a young girl replayed itself endlessly.
A persistent nagging bounced across the solitary walls of my mind as I stepped out into the sunshine and headed for my training grounds.
This…undying remorse.