Chapter 5 – Living the Dream
So near and yet so far
Intricacies of your soul
Unravel it not I have
Do you believe in the soul-mate theory?
The theory stipulates that a person will find that special "someone" someday. That irregardless of the number of times one reincarnates, he or she will always be connected to that "soul mate" in one way or another. Such soul-mate relationships can transcend all time and distance, all age and dimensions. Communication between soul mates proceeds in a fashion endowed with a divine grace rather than initiated by the two persons themselves.
I hold dear the belief that it was not by sheer coincidence that I met him.
Cloud Strife.
Oh, the strife that he manages to stir in me whenever I see him leaving for Aeris's Church. It stabs me sharply like shreds of glass broken from the mirror of reality.
Do I mean anything to him? I silently ask the bar table as I swiped at it with my cloth.
"Having a conversation?" a deep voice echoes from across the room from the hallway.
"Umn, not really." I flashed a grin at the tall figure in the doorframe, watching his gold metallic claw gleam in the bright sunlight as he glided past the door and took a seat at the table I was trying to strike rapport with.
Vincent Valentine must have been one of the finest Turks in his days, I muse as I studied him for a moment. That mane of raven black hair, those divine facial features of beauty and most of all those intriguing scarlet eyes which always seemed to look at you in such a way that made you feel he was perusing through the libraries of your soul, discovering things unbeknownst to even oneself.
Flipping his red cape aside, Vincent tossed me a glance before looking down at the table again. Resting his metallic claw on the table, he leaned back in his chair as though waiting for me to speak.
I panicked for a while whilst I racked my brains for something to say.
"You always hide, Tifa." came Vincent's response. Actually, this was one of the rare few times that he had addressed me by my name.
"Hide?" my brow crinkled.
"I was like you before. I never admitted that I was interested in Lucrecia. I never had the courage to invite her into my life, into a relationship more than friends." Vincent admitted. A remarkable feat actually, for he rarely had more than half a sentence for me.
The best I had ever got was a sentence. Yes, I did record my triumph. I stood, caught in my own confusion over why Vincent was telling me this.
"I was…shy." That took some time for Vincent to confess.
Vincent choked a little, as he remembered the terror of the events that unraveled after that, when Lucrecia was cruelly torn away from him by Hojo. He looks up at me now, for once letting me flip past a chapter of his life, with the saddest expression I have ever seen on him.
"And I truly…regret it." He said at last, forewarning me not to follow in his footsteps.
I put my arm reassuringly around Vincent. It must have been a lot to reveal his past to me. Vincent rarely spoke of his past. The fact that he did…it showed just how deeply he cared about me.
"Thank you Vincent." My voice was gentle, as if trying to lead him out of his barren world of guilt and pain.
Vincent nods and proceeds to leave. He had come to bid me farewell as he was planning on returning to his home in Shinra Mansion, although he had also reminded me that he will always keep a watch-out for the whole group. I look at his back sadly as he slowly walks down the street, his crimson cape flying out behind him oblivious to his surroundings.
I hope Fate will be kind to him too.
Pursing my lips thoughtfully out the wooden windows of the bar, I watched as a bird chirped happily on the mangles of telephone lines outside.
A bird.
Cloud was so much like a little bird when I first met him. Instinctively, I had wanted to spread my wings to protect him when I saw that frail figure being taken on by five other bullies in the slums of Midgar when we were all of eight years old. He was not crying but just stood non-chalant. It was as though he had no slightest idea of what he was possibly in for.
Of course, the rest of the time passed in a furry of nose-bleeds and broken arms as I entered the scene. As a child, I had always been interested in fighting. My parents had put me under the tutelage of Zengan, one of the best fighters in town. I believed I made him proud.
I think.
15 minutes and five figures groaning in pain later, I had slipped my little hands between his and dragged him away from the scene of crime, as I would say.
He kept looking at me then, as though he had no idea too, what I had done. Seating him at the tip of an old well after I had practically hauled him up the stone stairways, I placed my hands on my hips facing him directly.
"What were you doing standing there doing nothing?" I was impatient.
The boy locked gazes with me. His spiky sandy hair tousled about as the playful winds toyed with the golden strands like a child in wild exuberance. It was the eyes that fascinated me.
Deep within his eyes sequestered this…creature of might that was screaming to glimpse the light of day.
To spread its magnificent wings to fly.
Amidst the struggling of this creature, there existed this barrier it could not cross.
This horizon that was formed between the line of astonishing dreams and fear of the unknown.
I see it.
That light that wanted to shine from within, but the emotionless façade that it was to play second fiddle to.
"Cloud Strife." The boy extends his hand to me.
Without a moment's hesitation I follow in his wake, my question forgotten.
"Tifa Lockheart." I grin, smacking my right hand forcefully into his.
"I don't like to fight." I remembered Cloud saying.
"But you must fight for what you want!" I cried out loud now as I reminiscenced the exact words I had told him 15 years ago.
Fancy me telling him that, I was not doing what I had preached to him now. The thought frustrated me to no end. I stormed out of the bar now, anger invoked in me.
I am aware that this was not my usual self. But honestly, I was unable to pretend any longer.
This morning was hurtful.
He never gave me more than a glance.
No, it was not alright that he was always so cold to me. No it was not alright that I was afraid to reveal my feelings for him. And finally, no, it was not alright that Cloud liked Aeris!
Tossing my composure to the winds, I broke into a charged run as I headed in the direction of the Ancient Forest. It was depressingly dark in here, but a perfect manifestation of my mood at that time. I lift my face to the magnificent oak trees that towered over me as I inhaled deeply.
Tifa Lockheart. This isn't yourself. Relax.
"Ah! This isn't going to work!" I execute my beat rush on the trunk of an innocent tree, reaching my limit break three times consecutively.
By the end of it, the tree was a pitiful sight. Dusting my hands, I decided that enough was enough. Letting myself calm down, I saw on a tree stump nearby and started observing the trail of ants that was busy with bits of mushrooms carried over from other parts of the forest.
Aeris…you have Cloud's heart.
And Cloud...I am glad you found what you always sought.
That which enabled you to spread your wings.
That courage to fight for someone.
Yet…the equation does not satisfy all.
I was still…lonely.
"EEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" A loud wail forced me out of my introspection rudely as I jumped to my feet and blotted in the direction of the cry for help.
Searching about frantically, I sprinted down the clearings of the forest looking for sights of a struggle. I finally spotted it in the form of a black chocobo calling out for help.
There.
Squirting my eyes in the dark, I made out the forms of men who were advancing on the poor creature menacingly. Without a moment's hesitation, I had leaped right in front of the chocobo and extended my arms protectively before it.
Facing the men, I counted my enemy's strength.
Two, three, five, no eight. I frowned. This was quite a number to prey on one chocobo.
The bullies.
Steeling my fists into balls, I shifted into my fighting stance. It was going to be a rough night, I could tell. The men were all equipped with weapons of some sort, some had sickles and some had metal spikes. Luckily, there were no rifles or shotguns in sight.
They must be proachers. I realised in disgust. How dare they taint the Ancient Forest! It was meant as a sacred place for the beautiful and graceful creatures of the world to enjoy.
The moment one of the men tried to take a swing at me with his spear, I had lunged into action. Taking a few steps back, I semi-sprinted to gain momentum and executed a flip in mid-air, catching my opponent by surprise and landing a swift kick to his chest. That move caused him to crash into a tree trunk with a sickening crack of his spine bones.
"Heh, you are good." One of the men leered at me as he looked me up and down, his eyes resting on my chest. I wanted to kick a rock into his face.
"Oh you never know." I smile sweetly and proceeded with my work of finishing up the other 6 men.
Finally, I was down to the last hunter. Using my fists, I threw punches at the guy who had irritated me as I infiltrated his defense with my relentless attacks. He suddenly thrust a blow into my stomach which caused me to grimace in pain for a split second. Making use of that opening, the wretched man threw a powder into my eyes that made me splutter as some of it trickled into my mouth.
My eyes watered as the dry substance came into contact.
Oh god, this hurts.
"Ha, guess where I am." The irritating voice pursued, his voice snatched away by the winds as he circles me slowly.
What's with my eyes? My vision…it was getting hazy.
Gritting my teeth, I closed my eyes and focused on using my senses to fight. There is a way out of everything, I believed.
"HERE!" I shouted as I charged at the man with an onslaught of lightning fast punches and fatal kicks. The man did not even have any time to respond as I delivered my finishing touch.
"Final Heaven!" I announced his punishment.
Slamming his head hard upon the sandy grounds, I used his body as leverage and did a dolphin flip in the air, landing perfectly on the ground on my right knee, my left knee raised a little and with my right hand as a support.
Wiping my forehead, I stood up and listened carefully. I heard the frightened breathing of the chocobo and slowly proceeded in that direction. Finding the chocobo, I patted its head and beak, willing it to calm down.
I could not hear the hunter anymore. I think he must be dead.
Bending down towards the chocobo until I was at face level with it, I smiled at it gently. "Don't you get caught again." I chided.
"Quak!" the chocobo shrieks in agreement.
Laughing a little, I proceeded to search in my pockets for a Restore Materia for my eyes, only to find none.
Oh. I frown as I remembered running out of the bar without packing anything to bring along.
"Hey you! What have you done!" I hear the shouts of angry men in the distance and the next thing I heard was the dreaded sound of a gunshot.
Two, actually.
My last thoughts flickered pass the wind-whirl of my mind as a sharp pain shot up my spine before I made my descent into the realms of unconsciousness.
Cloud, our promise.
My hero.
My soul-mate.
Please come save me.
I want to live to see you happy.
I will be happy, as long as you are.
And for that, I will live.
For you, I want to live.