Summary : After the Hokuto Cup, Hikaru found himself missing Sai more than ever. One day, he saw a portrait of Sai! How could anyone other than him know how Sai looks like? This is his chance, his only chance to find back Sai!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hikaru no Go, although I would love to own it.

I've uploaded some new drawings! Go to my profile to see them. Two Hikaru no Go and few Shaman King drawings!

Searching for the Light

Chapter 4 --- The Preliminary: an Unexpected Match

Early in the morning, Hikaru ran out of the house as quick as he could. He was more than ready to win. Nothing will stop him from becoming one of the five members at the Nongshim Cup. He arrived to the Go Institution half an hour early. He wanted to look at the list of people participating, or rather to say, to see when he and Akira would battle.

After checking the schedule, he realized that a lot of his friends were there, Akira, Waya, Isumi, Ochi, Honda, Yashiro… He will only go against Akira at the 31th match, the last match of the whole preliminary match. That would be at least in two months. His first opponent will be Reinhart Daphne, 2nd dan. He sat at his assigned place and closed his eyes.

Sai… If only you can see me now. You would be proud of me.

After few minutes, people start to come in. Akira noticed how nervous and impatient Hikaru was. Somehow, he felt like Hikaru was once lost in his own void. He seemed to be searching aimlessly for something that may not even exist. He definitely changed a lot. Still, somewhere deep inside of him, he knew that Hikaru was only searching for his path. When he came back to his senses, he would become better, greater than before. Just like after the time he quitted go and the fight against Ko Yongha.

Hikaru didn't even notice when his opponent entered, not to mention looking at her face. However, she seemed to be bothered by it. She drew his attention by saying one simple word.

"Crybaby."

Abruptly, Hikaru stared at her. She had long silky black hair with ocean blue eyes. She was smiling at him as if she was mocking his behavior as a crying baby.

"Crybaby? Who is a crybaby?" Hikaru replied angrily.

"You are." She slowly answered.

"When did I cry?"

"When you were on the street. It was about a month ago? You were crying so much that you even ignored that poor girl who gave you the umbrella."

"You… Are you the one who gave me…"

"No. I was standing next to the girl being so nice to you. Poor girl, she got all wet when she got home. She should have just left you there moping in the rain."

"You know her? Please, tell me! Tell me where I can find her!"

"Why should I tell you? If you win, I might. If you lose, it will solemnly depend on my mood. Oh! It's time to start the game. Onegaishimasu."

"Onegaishimasu…"

The sound of the buzzer went off and the game had officially started. Holding white, Hikaru waited for Daphne's first move. He was rushing, hurrying, hoping that this game would end as quickly as possible.

"If you are this impatient, you won't win against me, but I guess that we can play some fast paced Go." She said proudly.

After saying that, she made her first move, hoshi. She appeared to be very confident in herself. Hikaru followed her move; he went for hoshi also. Her second move was komoku (column 17: row 4) and he played on 15:3. Smiling, she played kosumi. He stared at her. Kosumi… It was Shusaku's kosumi. Not many people play that now… No one but Sai…

As she said, the game advanced fairly quickly. Soon, the stones were all over the board. Daphne did not give Hikaru any break. All her moves were kept within 10 seconds. He liked fast paced Go. In response to her swift movements, he also accelerated his speed. Although her moves were quick, they always went on precise places where they gained advantages. Still, the flow of the game was at Hikaru's side. His defense on the right was heavy. There was no way that she could break through it. Even though she is at a disadvantage position, she kept moving quickly, without wasting any thinking time.

Her moves seemed so familiar. They were so similar to Sai's, or rather say to Honinbu Shusaku. As the game went on, he felt more and more pressured. What was this feeling of being chased? How come he felt like losing in a game that he was at full advantage? He attacked at all vital points and did not stop defending his territory. No matter how far he read, he will still win the game, but why did he feel like something was missing?

Why do I feel like I'm in a trap? What is wrong?

She placed stone after stone, now even faster than before. Every stone she placed reminded him of Sai. Every move she made seemed like a big trap setting ahead of them. However, he was still winning. There wouldn't be anyways for her to win at this point… Wasn't that right? As Hikaru was losing in his thoughts, Daphne stopped her moves. Her determined eyes stared at the Go board and she gave a victorious smile.

After that moment of waiting, her speed slowed down. With her pace decreased, Hikaru finally noticed what a complicated game this actually was. Her stones cut off his one by one and linked all hers. She kept pushing and pushing him, forcing him to give up his territories one by one. The intensity of the game just kept rising and rising, not giving him any chances to retaliate. How could he not notice this trap? Why didn't he read further ahead?

I need to find an opening, a weakness. Anything! If there is anything that can be used, I will find it!

Stone after stone, Hikaru waited for an opening, and move after move, he could not find anything. His will to win was not diminished. He wasn't ready to give up… not yet. There must be a way. There was always a way to counter back. If only Sai was here… If it was Sai, he would have definitely found a way to survive this.

I must get the flow of the game back… Or I will never get to see Sai again.

Hikaru took a deep breath and analyzed the game from a third person's view. His falling for the trap was fatal. That trap was nicely hidden, waiting for him to get caught in it. It was a trap that not many people would notice, just like the one Sai placed to trick Toya Koyo in their game. He didn't know why but he kept linking this girl with Sai's way of Go. They were very similar, a little bit too similar. Nevertheless, if it was Sai, he would have been way better than this girl. He glanced over the Go board. The black had completely isolated the center. He lost his advantage of gaining his territory in the right side. There was nothing left for the white to do. That was a really well played game by her.

"I resign." Hikaru said.

"Thank you for the game."

They put back the stones in the jar and headed out of the room. When Hikaru passed by the clock, he saw that the game only lasted for one hour! Everyone was still concentrated in their own game and she whispered to him,

"Do you want to go over the game in another room?"

"Sure." Hikaru answered almost unwillingly.

They arrived on the first floor where people were free to play Go. Hikaru and Daphne chose a table and sat there without saying a world to the other.

Should I ask about that painter? Or should I just 'review' the game?

Without waiting for Hikaru's decision, Daphne already made up her choice.

"If you don't want to go over the game, it is ok. I know that the only reason why you agree to come is because you want to know about the girl. If you really want to know, I can tell you."

"Really? Then…"

"But before I do, you need to answer me one question. Why did you decide to play Go?"

"…"

Hikaru couldn't answer her question. Words were stuck in his throat, preventing any sound to come out. No matter how hard he tried, words just won't come out. He played Go because he was in love with the game. The intensity of each match, the thrill to win, the satisfaction of accomplished something better, the rivalry, and every part of Go. He loved the game. It was something he could excel at. 'To link the far past, with the far future' was the answer he gave to Ko Yongha. But… That was only part of it. That was his selfishness, his will to play Go. But Sai…

His tears were dropping like the time he was crying in the rain. The pain of losing a game was unbearable, but that was not the reason why he was crying. The reason that he had all this sadness was that he still had not let go. He was still linked, chained to the past he had with Sai. It was their dream, to be together forever. And just because of his selfishness of wanting to play Go, he lost a chance of being with Sai.

"Do you know what I feel like when I played you? All I feel in your game was obsession. I cannot feel any positive feelings. You wished to win, and purely to win. Is it really what you want? Is it really what your heart truly desire? I will not force you to tell me why you first started to play Go, but, search deep inside of you. Why did you decide to play Go?"

He knew that the only place he could find Sai was within his game. That was the bond he sought game after game. Every game he played, every move he made, he dreamed to feel the connection between Sai and him, but… The more he played, the more he felt like forgetting Sai. That was why he was so desperately searching for Sai. He felt that the bond between them had weakened.

Go is the only link… It is the only link between him and me! I cannot lose it! I cannot let go of the only connection I have to him!

All those words rang in his mind over and over again; yet, no voice would come out. She looked at him and somehow knew that he had gotten the answer. At last, she said what Hikaru wanted to hear.

"If meeting the person who painted it is this important to you, I will bring you to her. But don't get your hope high."

Hearing that, Hikaru's eye lit up.

"Why is that?"

"Because she is very weird.

Next Chapter: The Girl who Made the Painting

Author's Notes:

I hope that this is not getting boring... I've only gotten three reviews... Is it because the story is not good? If it is, please tell me!

Does anyone know how to write the sound of the Go stones hitting the board? I would appreciate if anyone can help me figure that out. I hope that I was able to express clearly in this chapter. I try to make it a bit longer than the usual chapters. The first two were the intro so they were quite short. This should be the length of each chapter I guess.

This Week's Go Extra: Go Titles' Information Part II

The Meijin and Honinbo League are in a 'Round Robin' format. It means that every player plays against the other players. The number of match played is the number of total players minus one (oneyou).

Last time I briefly talked about the three Big titles. This time, I'll talk about the other four. And I'm fully aware that Touya mentioned eight titles but I think that it is not a title like the ones we should know.

Judan and Oza has the same format. They both have 3 preliminary rounds, one main tournament, and one final. The main tournament is in knockout format. It means that the losers of each round can have a second chance at the loser section. Then, a match between the winner section and the loser section will determine who will become the challenger to the Title Holder.

Tengen is like Judan and Oza except that it has only two preliminary rounds. Gosei has only one preliminary round and is NOT offered to people from 1 to 4 dans. They have to be five to nine dan in order to be qualified. This means that currently, Akira, Hikaru, and all of our favorite young players cannot participate yet!

Next week: The Nihon Ki-In New Promotion System (promotions of dan)