Chapter 9 – Labyrinth Vindication
An avalanche of elixir stars showers
Beyond the realm of the broken heart
Distant is the time the being heals
For resolute is the soul in stark determination
I twist my body slightly to face my benefactor. His gloved hand rests firmly on my wrist, with no slightest intention to release its hold until he could ease an answer out of me.
If only this was Cloud…
I could not help but wistfully wish.
"I…" somehow, I could not bring myself to reject this kind stranger.
"Are you afraid of me?" his voice is mischievous.
"Afraid? You must be kidding." I snap, before realizing that I had unwittingly acceded to his request.
Oh my god, here goes.
"I could stay until…." I start carefully, "your injury recovers." he finishes for me, as though we both had planned this excuse together.
I nod and giggle, amazed at our conspiracy.
My benefactor finally let go of my wrist and offers me his arm because I could feel him elbowing me.
"Shall we go get you some clothes?" he says easily. "It's on me, seeing that you have brought nothing with you."
"Sire, that would be TOO kind!" I protest, stepping back and almost knocking over something.
Suddenly I felt strong arms encircling me.
"All right all right, before you snatch me off my feet again." I relent at last.
My benefactor laughs.
How strange.
The laugh, it was like music to my ears. The deep octaves of a cello pulsating through the amplitude of my being, a soothing melody that calmed the rising tides of my sadness.
How reassuring is this man.
Such confidence and grace.
Must have been a lady's man. I could not help but giggle a little at the thought, whilst my benefactor guides me out of his house and onto a soft grassy patch.
"Actually, here is something I thought you might like." He reveals, albeit a little abashed.
I reared my head, wondering what he meant when suddenly I felt a soft fluffy body pressing against my stomach.
"Quakkkkkkkkkk!" the thing squeaks in happiness.
"Oh! You are alive!" I could almost cry, as I bent over to caress the animal.
"Now, choco, you are not to charge into your mistress's injury like that." My benefactor scolded in mild annoyance.
"You took care of him too? Thank you." I turned to face my benefactor.
"Well, let's ride him shall we?" he suggests.
"Good idea!" without further ado, I had jumped onto the chocobo's back, "I'll have you know I am a very accomplished chocobo rider."
"My lady," he says as he mounts himself easily behind me, causing me to shift into his lap, "your life is safer in the hands of a rider who CAN see."
My cheeks flared as I felt the skin of my back come into contact with his firm torso and my head resting on his shoulder. His legs positioned protectively behind mine as he pulled at the reins of the chocobo, his strong arms forming a barrier to prevent me from falling off the animal.
For the first time in my life, I suddenly felt like a princess out of a fairytale.
My prince…was so close to me, I could hear his breathing in my left ear. I held on tightly to his arms and leaned back into him, releasing every care I had in the world.
"Hey, is that your heart? It's beating even faster." I could not help but tease.
"Oh quiet, lady." He engages in a show of annoyance to mask his embarrassment.
The ride was exceedingly smooth. He was truly an expert rider as he guided the animal through mashes and swamps without upsetting me much. I grin a little sheepishly as I recalled how I had flaunted my riding ability when he was obviously so much more skilled than I was. Well, as least he respected me enough not to put me down.
We must have entered a town several hours later as I hear the familiar noises emanating from marketplaces, where merchants set up their stalls to call out their wares and busy crowds thronged through the area.
"We are in Nibelheim." My benefactor answers as though he knew what I was going to ask.
My heart stopped.
"Come, my lady." He dismounts the chocobo and helps me down.
Slightly dazed, I accepted the assistance and slid onto the earthen ground. Memories of my past suddenly hit me at full force as I struggled to regain control. It was probably a blessing in disguise that I could not see, but the whistling of the familiar winds was enough to drive me insane.
"Are you all right?" my benefactor's voice sounded distant. I knew he was watching me and probably wondering what came over me.
"This..this is my hometown." I replied, trying to keep myself composed.
"It is beautiful." My benefactor trails off.
I could almost cry again, as I clutched my heart.
"Show me your world, won't you?" he gently whispers to me in a comforting tone.
I stood up straighter.
Come on, Tifa Lockheart, you are 23 years old now.
It's been so many years.
Let go.
Let go.
Let go of the past.
"You know, I was ever a tour guide before." I smile at my benefactor.
"You were charming, my lady." My benefactor answers, as though absentmindedly.
"Excuse me?" I ask, a little confused.
"Oh. Let's proceed. Are you sure though, that you can guide me when you can't see?" he asks, conveniently brushing off his random thought.
"Of course! I know this place like the back of my hand. Now on your right, three houses down the row, is a tavern, am I right?" I test my bearings.
"That is correct." My benefactor affirms my intuition. I could tell he was impressed.
"Oh good, I always start on that." I continued cheerily.
"All right. I will save you from lampposts and puddles of waters." his seriousness is admirable.
That whole morning, I offered my benefactor an insight on my childhood as I brought him to famous spots around town and dark alleyways.
"And THIS, is our pastoral town square." I slipped my hands into his and guided him through a small stone passageway into an open space. The sound of the rush of water cascading from the fountains greeted us as I led the way to the middle of the town square.
"It is indeed peaceful." My benefactor agrees.
I suddenly froze in place as I remembered standing in that exact same spot 7 years ago, when I was 16.
My benefactor moves in front of me, such a powerful presence.
"Did you remember something?" he asks.
"And this is our pretty town square!" I had informed the silver haired warrior.
He had looked around then, taking in the sight of the picturesque square and smiled at me kindly.
"Peaceful indeed." He agrees, eyes glowing a warm forest green.
"Tifa Tifa! How about getting a picture?" A teenager runs up to our group.
"Johnny, why not?" I laugh, and tossed the General and his subordinates a look.
"Oh come on!" Zack placed his General in position and me in the middle before merrily running to my other side.
"There!" I showed the General the photo of us three when Johnny's camera had flashed.
He had looked down at it in amusement then. I think he must be thinking I was so childish.
Still, he nodded.
"Yes. I recall guiding a General from Shinra. He was really remarkable and had such respect for us. It was hard to believe that he was that famous all over the world." I reminiscence fondly.
"I see." My benefactor's voice was strangely quiet.
"There," I sigh, "let's go to my house for a rest, shall we? We have been out and about for a few hours I think."
I hear his footsteps as he follows me down the asphalt rock paths of the town.
Do you know how painful it is to see the town in my mind?
In my deepest recesses of my mind, I saw my dear father walking about the town inspecting the sanitary conditions of the slums. He was the town mayor back then, and was a respected figure in Nibelhiem.
I saw the little children, my beloved friends running down the roads, chasing one another with joy.
I saw the splendid blue skies, lined with tuffs of cottony clouds, as the elegant sparrows winged their way across.
I wonder how much the town had changed.
"We'll have to break into my house." I chirp as I remembered that I had brought no key.
"My lady, I am appalled." My benefactor teases before giving the wooden front door I had halted in front of, a hard shove. The hinges gave way easily and soon we stepped into my house.
"Papa, Mama. I am back." I inhale the familiar air and proceed to move over to the fireplace.
I hear my benefactor move around the room as the floorboards creak. He must be surveying the interior.
"Do you want to stay here for a few days, my lady?" the deep voice cantillates from the middle of the room.
I nod, grateful for the kind consideration.
"Let's go to my room." I lead the way up the spiral stairs, listening in contentment to the little thrushes that had made its nest in the house roofing, "Make yourself comfortable on my couch all right?"
Treading lightly into my little bedroom, I could feel the stillness of the air. Nothing in the atmosphere had been changed ever since I came back here 2 years ago.
Cloud had been silent like this too, when we came back again.
Cloud, the last of my remnants of my childhood here.
He too, like me, had lost everything.
I thought we had each other.
It…was not to be.
I sat on my bed. It must now be covered with white cloth and surely dusty. Yet, I did not care.
Such nostalgia I felt when I walked in here.
"You must have been popular," My benefactor's voice suddenly broke into my reverie, "there is even a love letter here for you."
I laugh.
Such distant memories.
"Why, Sire, are you jealous?" I bantered, "and besides it is very shocking manners to be reading a girl's letters." I finished in mock chagrin.
"Actually, no. I am sure I could write a better one to win your heart than this half- hearted attempt," his voice is suddenly very close to my ears, "My Lady."
What is this fluttering I feel in my heart?
"You almost had me there!" I giggled, a trifle nervous, thinking it might have been the man pulling a stunt on me.
"So, tell me more about yourself." His voice suddenly became energetic and I hear him walking over to take a seat at the couch, his clothes brushing past my bed posts.
"I used to live here with my parents. Things were going well until…"I fought to choke back my tears.
"Until?" my benefactor encourages.
"Until my mother died when I was twelve. I could not accept the fact that my mother was gone for good," I smile a little sadly, "I believed that she would be passing by Mount Nibelhiem."
"Did you go?" his voice was gentle now.
"Yes." I lower my head, "There was a terrible incident though, and I was told I had slipped into a coma for a week. There was this…boy whom my father blamed entirely for what had happened, but I knew that without him, I might not have survived and would have been left in the wilderness."
"You must have been grateful to him." The voice drones, taking in every morsel of my life story.
"Yes. He promised me something important." I whisper, as though it was to be a well-kept secret.
"What?" my benefactor clearly could not hear what I said.
"Nothing, how about telling me about yourself, Sire?" I riverted my attention on him, a calm presence amongst the soft downs of my couch.
"I…"for once, he is tongue-tied. Bemused, I made my way over to him and settled on the floor just beside the couch and looked up at him in anticipation like a child waiting for a marvelous story-teller to begin his tale.
I could not see but I knew he was wrestling with the fact that he was about to reveal the details of his immensely private life to me.
"I grew up in the military," he heaves a sigh of resignation at my enthusiasm, "and I never knew who my parents were until much later did I find my mother. It seems I was not born in the normal way and hence considered abnormal." his voice resonated with bitterness as I tried to comprehend what he meant.
"But I like you." My reply is frank and sincere.
"It is painful to realize that you were torn away from your mother from birth and your mother exiled…" I realize that my benefactor was starting to warm up to me, revealing traces of a past he had kept locked up.
"Tifa? Tifa, my child, are you back?" an aged voice travels up the lofty stairways into my bedroom.
"Grandma!" I hastened to my doorway to greet the old lady who had always doted on me since I was young. Though not my real kin, she had been kind to me, taking me as her own grandchild when I had lost my mother.
"Tifa!" I felt old wrinkled arms drawing me into its embrace, crying in joy at a reunion. "It IS you."
"Yes, Grandma, how have you been?" I extend my arms, leading her to my bed.
"Weather's been chilly lately. Who is this young man you brought here?" I know Grandma had to strain her eyes due to poor eye-sight.
"He rescued me, Grandma. I got attacked by some assailants." I swiftly added as I did not want her to know I could not see.
"Ah, what a fine young man. Such brave soldiers I have seen before at Shinra in the past." Grandma nods in approval.
"Madam, you were at Shinra?" my benefactor asks suddenly.
"Oh yes. I was summoned into Shinra for a special assignment. There I helped a young scientist deliver her baby. Sephiroth, the baby was named. He went on to become a very famous warrior, I heard," Grandma sighs, "Although ironically enough, he also became the world's biggest enemy."
"A…young scientist?" my benefactor was seemingly shocked.
"Lucrecia, I believe that's her name." Grandma offers.
The room fell silent.
"It was a normal birth?"' he continues after contemplation.
"Most definitely! A biological birth through and through!" Grandma retorts haughtily. I knew she took pride in her mid-wivery and nursing skills.
The room was quiet again and I hear my benefactor's breathing as it started to calm down.
"Thank you, Madam." he finishes at last. It was as though, he had found an answer to something he had always been seeking.
I shift my attention from Grandma to him, not really understanding what issues entailed. I could feel though, that Grandma was a trifle exhausted.
"Come, let me help you back to your house, Grandma." I touch her arm gently.
"Let me do that, my lady." My benefactor interjects and had, in moments, started helping her down the stairs. I trailed after the pair slowly, wondering at his sudden outburst of interest.
"Young man. Take care of Tifa well, you hear? She deserves a good life after all that had happened." Grandma reminds him.
I blush, although I was curious to know his response.
"Yes Madam." His reply did not disappoint.
After sending Grandma back to her home, I brought my benefactor to my one favourite place in the world.
"Oh. Another star-gazing session." he observed lazily.
"Oh quiet." I joke, latching my arms onto his for support up the stone steps to the well. As we reached the top, he seated me safely on a spot before settling down beside me. The edges of his coat touches me, a very comforting feel overwhelms me.
"Thank you, Tifa." the sudden gratitude startled me as I turned to look in my benefactor's direction.
"What are you thanking me for?" I asked, genuinely confused.
"For showing me the world." His reply, though succinct seemed to be interlaced with meanings aplenty.
I decided not to pursue it.
"Papa and Mama are there", I raise my fingers to point at a portion of the skies, "I can always feel them looking down on me, you know?"
"My lady, I have been thinking about what you have said earlier", his tone was serious, "the most painful thing about losing someone is when you avoid their memories and their possessions. Your house, everything was covered with white cloth. It was as though you wanted to escape."
"What?" I was surprised at this sudden advice.
Such wisdom.
"When your eyes have recovered, I want you to go through everything of your past. Everything." he continues in a far-away voice.
"I can't…its too painful. My mother…my father." Tears stung my eyes.
"Go through them. Remember, cry and move on", he adds on gently, "It is futile to try to run away from your own memories."
I believe I was crying openly now.
"Thank you." I stammered whilst furiously dabbing at my wet eyes.
"My lady," he suddenly moves over to kiss me on my forehead, "I promise you that I will always come rescue you whenever you are in trouble.
Startled, I did not know how to react but just sat, numbness stinging my legs.
"You will never be alone again." he whispers.
I wanted to push him away then but I could not help but relish in this delicious moment as the scent of his hair and body interweaved with the atmosphere to create a beautiful sedative for my heart.
I…never experienced such love before from Cloud.
Time passed sooner than I realized and soon it was months after I had first met my benefactor. We had moved back to his mansion and I was very happy with my new life with my benefactor. Deep down in my heart, I also knew it was irresponsible on my part to cast the earlier part of my life away. I knew my friends would surely be worried about me but a part of me did not want them to know where I was.
Especially Cloud.
Strangely enough, my eye-sight had not recovered yet after such a long period of time but I was starting to get used to it.
"You seem to like my bedroom better." the familiar voice I have grown used to hearing every day for these few months drawled from the doorframe, on one such particular morning.
"Of course! I claim ownership." I sprawl myself languorously over the extent of his bed, creasing the neat sheets. It was a gorgeous morning and I did not feel like getting up as yet.
"Oh?" he crosses the room in quick strides and was soon on top of me in seconds, "And what if I do this?" he asks as he pins down both my hands and places his lips over mine softly, his hair falling to touch my bosom.
"I'll fight you." I hissed, adrenaline suddenly rushing through my veins.
"But you see, my lady. Since this is my bed, can we safely assume that whatever lies on it belongs to me? Rightfully?" he was testing me, waiting for my answer.
"I'll like to see you try to claim Tifa Lockheart." I replied with pride.
"That sounds hard." he smirks as he pushes me deeper into the pillows with his deep kiss, his strong arm never letting go of my hands which he had pinned above my head. His other hand caressed my hair gently, moving slowly down from my face to my neck.
I struggled against his mighty will, although I must say that he was definitely a great kisser. Before we got too hot and fiery, I kicked him so that we would stop.
"I'm sorry", he apologized, "Was it too soon for you?"
I turned away, feeling a little guilty for having enjoyed his kiss.
What am I being guilty for?
Guilty towards Cloud?
"You still think of him, don't you? That…friend." my benefactor sounded hurt.
I shake my head.
"Let's go for our breakfast, shall we? I have some training to do today." He continues at last after an awkward silence.
I listened to him walking out the door after we had finished our breakfast. His footsteps were slow and deliberate as though he was contemplating something. I knew I hurt him this morning by rejecting his advances.
Am I falling in love with this man?
It can't be.
I always only wanted to be with Cloud.
But Cloud..always wanted to be with Aerith.
"Mistress Tifa, would you like me to clear your place for you?" the young page boy of the mansion quips, appearing at my side.
I nod, not knowing what to say.
"Master seems a little different these few months." He added.
"Different?" I was curious.
"Yes, he seems happier you know. Ever since you came." The little boy was elated, I could tell.
"Will you both ever get married?" he asks as an afterthought.
"Married?" I almost fell off my chair.
Such was the profound reach of that question that it left me thinking for that day in its entirety. It would be nice to be blissfully married, I sigh wistfully.
I frowned, gazing in the direction of the windows and wondering what time it was. Hearing the page boy lighting the candles of the mansion as he struck matches and brought them to the candle wicks, I gathered nightfall must have arrived.
Maneuvering my way over to the little table that stood in the middle of my bedroom, my heart skipped a beat as I heard those heavy solid footsteps throng up the stairways and into the room.
I could feel his breath down my neck as he came from behind me. Grabbing my waist with one hand, he slid under my white top with his other hand.
I shivered as his deft warm fingers came into contact with my stomach skin and held my breath as it expertly went on to caress my right breast slowly…teasingly. Moaning a little, I could not help but let a sigh of pleasure escape me.
"Can't resist me, my lady?" He teases, knowing that he was in full control. All thoughts of what happened that morning had dissipated from his mind.
For once, I put up no resistance at all as he carried me across to his soft bed and undressed me.
Out of that labyrinth of sadness, I am vindicated.
The rest of the night was beautiful.
I never felt so loved in my life.