What's In A Name?
Summary: Smithy fic. He doesn't know if he's ready to fall in love again, not after losing the love of his life...and everytime he hears her name he knows he hasn't let go yet. Very short one shot. Sort of a Smithy/Kerry fic. Please review! Vikki xxx
Smithy stepped out of his car and went round to the back door. He carefully lifted out the bouquet of white lilies from the backseat; Kerry's favourite. He thought of her everyday but today her memory was much more vivid. Smithy couldn't believe that it had been two years since she had been killed in his arms. Everytime he thought about it he felt overwhelmed with grief at how their life together had been cut so short. The only thing that comforted him was the fact that she had died knowing he loved and he knew that she loved him too. It seemed so cruel that as soon as they had finally admitted their feelings for each other Kerry had been taken from him. He would never love anyone the way he had loved her, not even Louise. With Louise it had been different but it hadn't been love. When they had first begun their affair it had barely been a year since Kerry's death and Smithy was still on the rebound. He needed to feel love and be loved again but Louise was the wrong person and in hindsight he could see that.
Smithy walked slowly up to Kerry's gravestone and laid the flowers down beside it. He stood with his head bowed, reading and re-reading the engraving on the stone. He already knew it off by heart but there was something comforting in doing it again.
'In loving memory of:
Kerry Young
A much loved daughter, friend and colleague'
Smithy held back his tears of loss as he prepared himself to leave the cemetary.
"I still love you Kerry." He whispered. "I always will."
He made his way back to the car and drove slowly back to the police station. On the way in he saw Kezia and Terry talking. Kezia ended the conversation when she saw Smithy walk in and she knew something was up.
"Is everything okay Smithy?" She asked, walking over to him.
He nodded sadly. "Yeah everything is fine." He said walking to the locker room to get changed.
Kezia raised her eyebrows at Terry, feeling that she was missing something.
"His girlfriend died two years ago today. She was killed outside the station." Terry explained gently.
Kezia was shocked. "Should I go and talk to him."
Terry shrugged. "Leave him be for a bit, it was a big shock for us all especially him."
Kezia nodded. "I bet. Poor guy."
Smithy came back out of the locker room and went to stand behind the reception desk.
"See you later, Kez." He heard Terry say. There it was again, everytime he heard someone called Kezia Kez he expected to turn around and see Kerry standing there. Things were getting more complicated with Kezia now, he liked her but he didn't know if he was ready to go down that road of being in another relationship. Not when he still hadn't moved on from Kerry. Maybe someday, but he knew he wasn't ready for that yet.