Disclaimer: I do not own

This is once again a Hyde fic, not a HydeandAis fic. Although there shall soon be a HydeandAis fic, called Amon and the Exploding Taco Salad. It might already be posted, depending on when you're reading this.

My second fic. A little stranger than the first, as you soon shall read. But it's fun. For me anyway. I hope you have fun reading it, but it isn't a guarantee. BTW, read this with a sense of humor. We do not want to repeat the Taco Joe Incident, now do we?

Someone tapped on the window of Amon's car as he sat at the traffic light. Annoyed, he rolled it down and glared at the young woman in a black T-shirt who was the origin of the knock.

"Sir," she said, "It's allergy season."

Amon looked askance at her. "Yes."

"That is the message the spirits have told me to give to you."

"What spirits?"

"The Spirit of the Omnipotent Mother Goddess and the Spirits of Her Muses, which help her to direct life on this earth." (Hyde A/N: I certainly hope you know what omnipotent means, but if you don't, it means all-powerful.)

"Omnipotent Mother Goddess?"

"She has many names. That is the one by which we know her."

Amon was confused. He would never admit it, but he was in fact completely lost. For lack of anything else to do, he rolled up the window and made a left-hand turn. Then he realized that it was a very stupid thing to do, because Touko and Robin's apartment was to the right. He made some twisty maneuvers along side streets and finally ended up where he wanted to be. He sent a mental Sullen Glare Which Dumps Imaginary French Fries On The Heads Of All Who Distract Dark Individuals When They Are Intending To Make A Right-Hand Turn to the girl in black.

"Amon, thy clothes of blackest night do become thee," said Touko.

Amon squinted, raised one eyebrow, and blinked twice. (This shows you how disturbed he was.)

"Mine greatest friend hath opened mine eyes to the joys of prose," she said in explanation.

Amon blinked three times. His disturbedness was interrupted by a violent sneeze in the background. Suddenly, a cupboard went up in flames.

"Alas!" Touko cried, "Mine flower-printed dishes which were given unto me by mine adoring father!"

Robin appeared. "I'm sorry, Touko."

Amon looked her over. Her eyes were watering, and she sniffled. He raised one eyebrow at her.

"Allergies," she said. Amon shuddered inwardly. Fire-throwing witches and allergies did not mix.

"'Tis not known what her allergy is, though it be a strong one. She hath fallen prey to it, and none can save her from its deadly snare!"

"What did she just say?" Robin asked Amon quietly. He shrugged darkly and propelled Touko from the room.

"Amon, thy kindness overwhelms mine heart. Thy money spent for mine enjoyment and for the filling of mine stomach…I give thee ever thanks, and bring thee ever tribute."

The only thing Amon actually understood was the 'thanks' so he said, "You're welcome. Dessert?"

"Oh, Amon, thou art man most wondrous indeed."

Amon motioned the waiter. "Two desserts." He gave the waiter a Sullen Stare That Causes The Recipient To Feel Slow And Pathetic And Encourages Said Recipient To Use All Haste.

"Amon, thou art so assertive. Mine well-being is safe within thy dominating grasp."

Needless to say, all this was driving Amon crazy. Inwardly crazy, of course. A dark individual can be tortured in mind, but not visibly. It would ruin their image. He took Touko home a little early, feeling that he couldn't handle her too much longer. When they got there, they were greeted by a flaming ceiling fan.

The ceiling fan threw bits of flaming wood all over the room. Amon shoved Touko in the closet to protect her, but after grabbing her coat to use to smother the flaming apparatus. (He couldn't use the Macho Black Coat; what if it caught on fire?)

Touko came out of the closet, choking on the smoke. "Wherefore…cough…is Robin, who spurts fire from her eyes?"

Amon shrugged. He walked into the livingroom. She was asleep on the couch.

"She could have burned down the apartment," Amon said, shaking his head.

"Indeed, she could have been the instrument of her own horrible death, and the death of mine lovely coffeemaker."

Out of the corner of his eye, Amon saw Touko checking her coffeemaker for burns. She is getting strange lately. Everything is strange lately.

Well, hope you liked it. There is more to come when I get around to writing it, promise. Review, even if you hated it. Any technical and subjective suggestions will be taken into consideration.

May my uncle never take many and numerous pictures of you cutting pies,

Hyde