Title: Bound by Loyalty

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Harry Potter- Pretty much books 1-4.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Seasons 1-5 and some of season 6.

Pairings: Buffy/Sirius Black, Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione

Summary: Buffy gets a letter inviting her to help teach at Hogwarts. Dumbledore tells her about the fight with Voldemort, and she agrees to help protect Harry Potter. While there, she learns things about herself that she never knew, and she finds a way to live. Meanwhile, Sirius Black can't stop thinking about the blonde Slayer that has suddenly invaded his life.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them. Buffy goes to Whedon, and Harry and everybody in the Potter-verse go to Rowling. If you don't recognize anyone, they're probably mine. I do own the plot, though. Don't sue. Please.

Author's note: Here's another chapter. I'm going to try to wrap this up soon, I promise. Thanks to Toniboo, Serrafina, chrmedslayer, spk, Lola, JadedTruth, ChargedPotential, Toowhiteprincess, The Dragon's Lady, justchillinlikeavillan, The Insane Imortal Dragon, JessAngelus, and Chrizz for reviewing.

Chapter 20: Is This What It Feels Like?

'We walked together hand in hand
So happy…not a care in the world
You had me
And I had you…
Deeply in love
Wished I could had lasted forever…
But fate intervened
Ripped us apart with lies and false truths
Our bond collapsed
Thrown in to disarray
My heart crumbles as I tread this path alone
Alone on this dark road…
Watching the pictures of our time
Heart breaking as the pictures circle my mind…
Broken dreams are all that I have left
Now all I have is dreams of my death.'

-Tommy "Broken Dreams"

(Dec. 17, Hogwarts) 7:30 PM

It had already begun. She could hear the music floating through the hallways and reaching her room. Soft music, mixed with the sound of laughter and teenage kids talking. Buffy frowned at herself in the mirror before making a face at her reflection. Her blonde hair was a mass of curls, half of it held back in a butterfly clip. The cream dress she had found fit her like a dream, and though it wasn't her first choice, Buffy wasn't too disappointed with the results. Her makeup was elegant and simple.

Closing her eyes, she tried to focus her thoughts. For some reason, she had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. The part of her stomach that usually took over when an apocalypse was near. The Slayer tried to pass it off as indigestion, but she of all people knew that she had to trust a Slayer's instinct. And her instinct was telling her that something was going to happen. And soon. Her instinct was also propelling her towards the unopened garbage bag sitting on her nightstand.

She glanced at it, feeling like something was pulling her towards it. She resisted, though, slightly afraid for some unknown reason. "Oh, this is ridiculous," Buffy muttered, smoothing her dress. She strode towards her bed, grabbing the bag and sitting down. Buffy only stared at it for a few moments before rolling her eyes and tearing it open. She was still hesitant in reaching in.

Silently cursing herself, Buffy shoved her hand into the bag and rooted around through clumps of grass and dirt. Screwing up her face in concentration, she grunted when she finally touched soft leather. Pulling the object out, she tossed the bag into the garbage can and set the object on the bed next to her. It was a small pouch, and when she held it, it was fairly hefty. Shaking her head, Buffy quickly grabbed it and opened it, spilling out its contents.

"Wow," was all she said, staring at the first object. It was a knife, shiny and sharp. Just the way she liked them. It took her a few minutes before she finally broke out of her trance and picked it up. The handle was intricately carved with unknown symbols, and there was a swirling design on the steel of the blade. She felt something as she held it. Something...unexplainable, yet so right. Like it was an extended appendage. The Slayer in her stood at attention, taking notice, almost like she was...calling to the blade. It felt right, yet dark. Very dark. Bloodthirsty. Shaking off the notion, she strapped the knife to her thigh, thinking that a little extra might not be a bad thing.

Next she looked at the other object lying on the bed. Seeing took her breath away. It was a necklace. The chain was a beautiful silver, gleaming at her, begging her to put it around her neck. There was a medallion on the chain, about the size of a quarter. In the middle of the medallion was a small green stone, and surrounding the stone were symbols matching the one on the strange knife. Yet, when she picked it up, it didn't feel dark. It didn't call out to her blood. Instead of exciting the Slayer, it soothed her, sending a trill of soft music. It sounded like...laughter.

"Okay. Slightly freaky, in a not-so-freaky way. Hey, I'm the Slayer, right? Yeah. Nothing scares me." Yet that's not true, Buffy thought, staring at her reflection in the mirror as she put on the necklace. I'm afraid of myself, aren't I?

Sirius shoved his hand into his hair, softly cursing when he realized that he messed up the careful hairstyle it was in. He was aware that he had slightly untamed hair, and for the life of him, he wanted to make a good impression on Buffy.

"Yeah. Good impression. She's 20 minutes late," he grumbled, scowling up at the stairs, then at an approaching Harry.

His godson grinned at his obvious restlessness. "Is she late?" He asked, knowing the answer, but wanted to rile Sirius.

"Yes, dammit, she's late. Like always."

"She is late a lot, isn't she? She's also pushy, stubborn, temperamental, and I think she's a little violent. Can you deal with that?" Harry asked him, staring up at him intently.

Sirius searched his face, finding concern and curiosity. He smiled slightly. "I know she's pushy, stubborn, temperamental, and slightly violent. I also know she's sweet, smart, beautiful, protective, wise, funny, and...she's everything. That's what I love...Oh, god."

Harry felt his eyes widen before he sent a furtive glance around and grabbed and astonished Sirius' arm before yanking him into a corner. "Do you realize what you just said?" He hissed, looking behind him to make sure a certain Slayer wasn't sneaking up on them.

Sirius leaned on the wall, banging his head against it. He didn't just say...did he? No. He couldn't have. No. Sirius Black did not just say that he...loved someone. Sirius Black did not fall in love with women. Women fell in love with him. He wasn't being arrogant, just factual. He adored women. He loved everything about them. Their smell, their unique way of viewing something. He just didn't love love them. Not until now. But there was something about her. Something...fiercely emotional. She had yet to show much emotion at Hogwarts, but he could see it, simmering beneath her skin. It was in her eyes when she thought no one could see her. Her eyes, as sharp as an emerald one minute and as soft as grass the next. She had a heart bigger than anyone he had ever known, yet she was tough. She understood things, understood how people felt, how sometimes a person had no control over their own feelings.

She didn't make somebody feel dumb for the way that they felt, knowing that people thought differently, made different decisions. Buffy Summers was...everything.

He groaned. "Yeah, I realize what I just said. Well, this kind of sucks."

His damn godson just laughed at him. Sirius glared. "You are so grounded this summer." Which made Harry laugh even more.

He glanced towards the stairs, his heart kicking into overdrive when he noticed the woman making her way down. Sirius could feel himself break into a cold sweat.

Buffy smiled at him, her beautiful smile, her eyes soft. Then her grin turned mischievous. "Nice hair."

A Slytherin never shows fear, Draco. They inspire fear.

Never ask for help, or admit you are wrong.

We are better than them, and we will always be better than them. Don't you ever forget that.

"Oh, shut up," Draco whispered to his dad's voice, which had been repeating things he'd heard all his life in his head. He covertly watched Professor Summers and Harry dancing together and laughing. He felt a pang of...wistfulness, though he would kill anyone who would dare say that out loud.

He shook off his melancholy. Draco had a mission, and that mission was to talk to Summers. So he marched over to her as soon as the song ended.

"Professor Summers?" He called, waiting until she turned to him, Harry staring at him in a funny way. "May I speak with you a minute?" Draco asked politely. Summers grinned at him.

"Sure," she replied before turning to Harry. "I'll be right back."

Draco led her to an unoccupied corner. He turned to face Summers, not saying anything for a moment. She waited patiently. "My dad wants to turn me into a Death Eater," he finally blurted out.

Summers straightened and her face got serious. "Oh, Draco. Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I don't want it. I never wanted it. And I just... I just don't know what to do anymore," he told her, his voice getting thick with unshed tears. He was surprised when the slight blonde pulled him into a hug. He felt a few tears escape and desperately tried to hold them back.

"It's okay, Draco. Everything is going to be okay. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Trust me." Buffy told him, rubbing a soothing hand on his back.

Draco pulled away, swiping away the wetness on his cheeks. He refused to look weak. "Why does he do this?" He demanded. "Why is he bad? Why does he expect me to follow in his footsteps? I don't want to be him. I like it here! I like being...alive, dammit! I don't want to have to hurt anybody."

Buffy sighed. "People make bad decisions, Draco. Sometimes, they can't pull away from that. They get stuck with those bad choices, and they have to live with them. You aren't like him. You'll never be like him. Do you want to know why?" He nodded. "Because you made a different choice. You were strong. You're stronger than him. Okay?"

The Slytherin Prince gave a slight smile. "I don't feel very strong," he admitted.

"You will. I want you to tell Dumbledore, okay? Can you do that for me?"

Draco gave her a nod. He dreaded the upcoming meeting, but Buffy's words gave him something...hope. And it was spectacular.

It felt good, being in his arms. Buffy and Sirius swayed to the music, her head resting on his shoulder and his arms wrapped around his waist. Peaceful...and oh-so-good. She giggled a little.

"Buffy?" Sirius said, tightening his arms.

"Yeah?" She replied, lifting up her head to look him in the eyes.

"I think that you're rather wonderful," he replied in a teasing voice. "Thank you," he said, in a more serious manner.

"For what?" Buffy scrunched up her nose.

"Everything. You're...everything." Sirius got a funny look on his face. She was about to ask him about it when the song finally ended and she got distracted.

"I...I have to go to the bathroom," she told him, giving his arm a pat before leaving the room and a confused and hurt Sirius behind.

The Slayer felt something inexplicably pulling her outside. She followed Harry Potter outside, knowing that something big was happening. Harry was obviously being pulled out by the same force, and for the life of her, Buffy had no idea what it was, or why she didn't stop to get reinforcements. She just knew that Harry was going into the Forbidden Forest, and she needed to be there.

It took at least ten minutes before Sirius realized something was wrong. He scanned the room, not seeing Buffy nor Harry anywhere. He frantically searched every nook and cranny, as well as the corridors and the bathrooms on the first floor. Sirius gave up and turned in defeat, rushing to inform the Headmaster that something was very, very wrong.

Soon, a concerned Albus Dumbledore and an angry Order were searching the grounds, coming up with nothing. It was quite obvious that the Slayer and the Boy-Who-Lived were missing. And they were in the Forbidden Forest.

Buffy felt her dress snag on a branch, tearing a leaving a piece of fabric. She cursed, wishing that she had worn the red one, knowing that it wouldn't catch on the branches and cause such a nuisance. She had caught up with Harry, neither one of them talking, just walking through the snow covered forest with wet flakes slowly drifting down.

The knife on her thigh pulsed, and the necklace gave an answering throb. They were there.

'There' was a small clearing. And, of course, in the middle of the clearing stood a certain Dark Lord, otherwise known as Voldemort, otherwise known as the Pain In Buffy's Ass.

Voldemort smiled, and it was filled with cruelty. Soon he was surrounded by Death Eaters.

"Well. Shit." Buffy said softly.

"Oh, thank God," Sirius muttered, kneeling before a bush. "She's over this way!" He called out the his fellow Order members, gesturing to the fabric of Buffy's dress caught in the branch.

They all surged forward, hoping to get there on time.

"Hello Harry," a sinister voice, one that Harry had often heard in his nightmares, said calmly.

"Voldemort," he replied hatefully, pulling out his wand. He saw Buffy lift her dress from the corner of his eyes. Harry glanced over curiously. Oh. She was taking out a knife. Well, good for her.

"Buffy," the Slayer said, cocking her head. "Long time, no see, Voldy. How have ya been?"

"Miss Summers. What a...pleasant surprise. What are you doing here?"

"Well, duh. I'm here to kill you." She rolled her eyes. Then everything went to hell when the Order burst into the clearing, prompting the Death Eaters to attack. The fight was on.

It seemed like it took hours, but it was only 15 minutes.

Sirius felt as if it were hours. Didn't it usually feel like everything was going in slow motion as your life was crumbling before your eyes.

He fought, and he fought hard.

He even beat them. He killed a few, and some got away.

None of that mattered. By the time the rest of the Death Eaters ran, two Order members were dead. It was nothing compared to the ten dead Death Eaters, but it was enough.

But none of that mattered.

What mattered was what was happening in the middle.

The two people who meant the most to him were engaged in a battle of their own. What was worse was the fact that he couldn't get to them. None of them could, no matter how many spells they threw at the shield surrounding Buffy, Harry and Voldemort. All Sirius could do was watch and feel as if his world was ending.

Buffy grinned maliciously at Voldemort, approaching him as Harry slung curses his way and Voldemort shouted them back. She dodged a few, knife clutched in her hands. Buffy was almost there, her knife held at the ready.

Then it all went wrong. Voldemort threw a curse at Harry that caused ropes to tie him up. He frantically worked on a counter-spell, but it was too late.

"Avada Kadavra!"

"No!" Harry screamed along with Sirius.

Buffy watched in fascination as the bolt of green shot her way, unable to leap to the side.

It struck her chest, knocking her back a bit.

But she stayed on her feet, looking down in confusion. She should be dead. She knew that.

"What?" Voldemort roared in anger and astonishment.

Her necklace. It was glowing green. Somehow, it had stopped the killing curse. She was alive. It had never felt so good. For so long, for so many years, she had wanted to die. Had wanted to go back to Heaven. But now, faced with death, she didn't want it anymore. Buffy wanted to live. She wanted the pain, and the heartache of living. Because living wasn't just pain. It was beautiful, and messy, and she wanted it.

Buffy smiled at Harry, who gave a smile back, then she looked at a relieved Sirius, a confused Sirius who started frantically slinging curses at the shield. Then she turned to Voldemort and held up her knife.

"Sometimes, something's are bigger and stronger than you, Voldy. Sorry, but it's the facts of life," she said, approaching once again.

But Voldemort was not to be defeated. Yelling one final curse, the curse that changed everything, he pointed his wand at the Slayer. And Buffy knew it was over.

Her knife turned itself on her. She was helpless to stop it as it embedded itself into her heart.

Buffy Summers was dead before she even hit the ground.

"NO!"

(Sunnydale, California)

"No," Dawn Summers whispered, eyes widening as she sprang to her feet.

"Dawn, what's wrong?" Shawna asked, frowning at her friend. Rick looked up at the pretty brunette in concern.

Dawn ignored them, grabbing the phone and punching in a number. "Something's wrong," she said when Giles picked up.

"Buffy's dead."

Then she began to cry, broken sobs filling the room. Her sister was dead.

(Forbidden Forest)

Seeing the Slayer on the ground, rage filled Harry until he was blind with it, until he was so furious the ropes melted away.

He looked Voldemort in the eyes, and the Dark Lord knew it was over.

"Avada Kadavra!"

Harry didn't think, he only felt. For so long, he thought it would be tough, taking a humans life. But it wasn't difficult. He felt nothing but contempt until Voldemort lay on the ground, dead. Then he felt his heart break when he saw Buffy again, saw Sirius and Snape rush over to her when the shields went down.

There was blood on the snow. It was garish, frightening to see the contrast of pure white with the awfulness of the red. Sirius was crying, tears freely coursing down his cheeks. He felt his own tears on his face.

Buffy Summers was dead.

(December 20th, Hogwarts)

They were all gathered together. They Sunnydale gang and the Hogwarts student and teacher body. Harry finally got to meet Buffy's friends, and they were everything she had said they were. They were wonderful.

It was so difficult. Saying goodbye. But standing there, next to her closed coffin, facing the crowd, he found strength to speak.

"Some of you never really talked to her, never really met her. But you all knew who she was. How she was. Since the very moment Buffy showed up, she brought something to this school. At first, it was a gradual awareness of human beings. Then it was some much needed laughter. I'm sure you all remember the joke she played on Peeves."

That got some quiet laughter.

"He'll never be the same, I must say. She brought so much to us, but I think that the most wonderful thing that she gave us, that she handed to us, was hope. We've all felt how it was before...before she showed up. We were scared. Scared of our shadows. Scared of what was out there. But she was there. And she made it somehow...better."

Harry paused, tearing up. There were very few dry eyes in the crowd. He glanced at Sirius in the front row, tears coursing down his cheeks once again. Willow and Xander were silently crying, but Dawn was sobbing quietly. He felt his heart hurt a little bit.

"It's difficult standing up here, knowing that this is goodbye. That I'll never see her again. Never...never hear her laugh, or tell a stupid joke, or t-teach a lesson again. I'll never see her stuffing her face in the Great Hall. Or take her flying. She loved to fly. She told me that she felt so free, like all her burdens and worries were left on the ground, leaving just her in the air. I want to tell her that, because of her, I feel that way now."

He took a breath, unable to speak.

"She saved my life. I only wish that I could have saved her. She made a difference for everyone of you, and for that, I will always be grateful. I love you, Buffy Summers. May the angels bless you." He left a rose on her casket, touching the dark mahogany before laying a kiss on it.

Sitting down, he gave rubbed Sirius' back.

Many students came forward to share things about Buffy and to say goodbye.

"She always had a smile..."

"Buffy made my day brighter..."

"She brought hope and happiness..."

"She saw me..." That was from Neville.

"Buffy told me I was strong. She told me that some people make choices that they can't pull away from, and because I made a different choice, I'm strong. I never got to tell her that she was the strong one." That was from Draco Malfoy, whose father was sitting in Azkaban. Draco had testified against Lucius, insuring that he got stuck in the wizarding jail.

Dawn went up to speak, though it was obvious that it was difficult. "I always anticipated her letters, regaling me of all the adventures and mishaps of Hogwarts. I could tell that she loved it here, loved everything about it. That's one of the reasons why I chose that she should stay here. My sister was the best person in the world. She was smart, and strong, and so wise. And she loved me. She once told me that the hardest thing to do in this world was to live in it. But she wants us all to live. For her. I love you, Buffy. I miss you."

Sirius was last. He stood there for a moment, staring at the setting sun. "It feels like she's been here for so long, though it was only a few short months. I..." he stopped. "I don't have any fancy words to say, I don't have a speech prepared. How do you prepare a speech for something like this? How do you prepare a speech when your heart is broken. All I have is what's in here," he pointed to his heart, "broken as it is. Buffy is...was everything. Everything good in this world. She was the reason why...the reason why I got up in the morning. I loved her with everything I had in me. It wasn't enough. Sometimes, love isn't enough. She shouldn't be in there. She should be out here, laughing, having a good time. It's not fair that she has to die. This wasn't even her fight!" He was shouting now, hot tears streaming down his face.

"She didn't belong here! This wasn't her fight! But she was here. And she fought for us, and we won. But she didn't. She saved us all. She saved me." He dropped to his knees in anguish, sobbing, as Harry rushed over and gathered him in his arms.

"Is this was it feels like? Is this was a broken heart feels like?" Snape asked Sirius, who hadn't even know he was there.

"Like your world is collapsing, and there's nothing you can do?"

"Then I think that I have a broken heart."

Snape finally cried.

The End.

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