Evil Strawberries that Work for the Mafia and want to Kill Artemis
I've been rather negligent with the disclaimer lately. I don't think anyone should NEED a disclaimer on this site because it's all fanfiction. All original fiction can be found on fictionpress . net, I believe. It should be obvious that I am not Eoin Colfer, I do not own Artemis or any related characters, and this is all a load of B.S.
I got this idea from Weirdo Gal. It's probably the most random idea in the history of fanfiction, even more random than something I could think of, but for now it's the only idea I've got. Don't forget, if you've got any more ideas that I may use, feel free to send them or put them in a review, and I'll give you credit in some way similar to this.
In a dark and dusty corner at the far end of the supermarket, there was a small cart stacked high with fresh strawberries and a sign baring the words "Ma Fia's Good Ol' Fashioned Country Strawberries."
On this particular day, Artemis had decided to accompany Butler to the store, simply because he felt he had nothing better to do and he was tired of being harassed by fairies.
Butler had warned him to stay away from the strawberries in the corner, because his Magical Bodyguard Sensors had told him that the strawberries had some sort of evil aura surrounding them.
Artemis dismissed this as total blarney, and just to piss Butler off, he decided to go over to the strawberry cart and study them. Perhaps he could somehow use this evil aura to steal a few thousand pounds of gold. He stared at the countless red berries, all lined up like a tiny crimson army heading off to war.
Suddenly, the strawberries began to twitch, all of their own accord. Artemis took a step back. Without a warning, the strawberries all leapt at Artemis, and began to attack him. Sure, it didn't really hurt, but it did sting a bit.
"Arrrrrrrrgh!" was all Artemis managed to cry as the strawberries covered his body and muffled his speech.
"Butler looked up, and he instinctively charged at the strawberries, and with a flying leap, he dived into the strawberry and Artemis pile, pulling Artemis out of the way and crushing the strawberries with his body.
A sales clerk, alerted by the noise, came running to the fruit section, and found a young boy lying unconscious near the bananas, and the biggest, scariest looking man he had ever seen rolling about in a pile of squished strawberries.
Though he was frightened by the sheer size of the man, he knew he'd be sacked if he didn't do something about the situation.
"Er..Excuse me…Erm…Sir? I'm gonna have to ask you to..er…please leave…" He said timidly.
Butler looked up. He saw a pimply-faced teenager staring down at him, looking very nervous. He looked down. He saw a mess of squishy red goo.
Butler said nothing, but cleared his throat loudly, collected Artemis from the floor, and left.