Disclaimer: I own nothing. Enjoy.
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That Endless Summer
Chapter Fifteen: Falling Apart
"This time may be the last I fear
unless I make it all too clear,
I need you so."
-Broken Wings, Mister Mister
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The next week passed with a blur of avoidance. Luke and Ric would surf, and Cassie and I would sunbake or shop. Of course, dinner was a group affair, which included Luke and Ric's new best buds, Parker and Lily, and the newly forgiven duo of Henry and Hilary.
We all ate in silence, a few pleasantries passed here or there, but nothing substantial. Each and every one of us knew it, but none were willing to take the plunge and say it. The cracks were beginning to show.
Cass and I never found out exactly what they'd done that night Only that they'd come back wet and smelling of strawberries. We'd both been asleep for hours, I guessed, when they'd arrived, but we'd been left to smell the strawberry scent, and feel the dampness of their jeans.
Luke and Ric had been nowhere in sight that morning, and hadn't appeared till late that afternoon, with Parker and Lily by their side. And that's where they'd stayed.
It was as if life were taunting us cruelly, dangling our relationships in front of us, and forcing us to watch as they unravelled and fell apart.
But Cass and I couldn't seem to do anything about it. Either that, or we really didn't want to.
"So" I said to Cassie, "Tonight's our last night here."
"Yeah." She replied, sounding about as enthused as I did.
"This big beach blow out, we gunna show?" I asked, blocking the sun from my eyes as I rubbed some sunscreen into my arms.
"I don't know." She replied, grabbing the sunscreen from me "What do you think?"
In all honestly, I had no idea whether I wanted to be surrounded by people celebrating the final moments of their heated summer fling. Or by people who were still enjoying their fleeting moments of freedom… or happiness… of love.
"I think that we haven't spent this entire trip working on our tans to lock ourselves up in a room for another night in a row." I said finally, smiling at her, as she grinned back.
"Amen sister." She said, knocking my knuckles.
"And," I said, pushing myself up from my stomach "if we're going to do this, we're going in style."
"What do you have in mind?" Cassie asked, sitting up and facing me.
"Well, now that you ask…" I replied, smiling evilly at her.
"Okay" Cassie said as she stared at our reflection in the mirror "This has to be you're most brilliant idea yet."
"Thank you" I quipped, smiling happily as I looked at our reflection.
So maybe textiles and design hadn't been my biggest waste of time, I thought, as I stared lovingly at our newly created articles of clothing.
The idea had hit my like a bolt of lightning, and I knew there was no other way we could possibly end the summer. Hoes over bros. Always and forever. And that's what the shirts said. Standing in matching white singlet stops, we'd made our own iron on transfers, and gone all out with our Hoes over Bros. Cassie had added a denim mini to her ensemble, and I had thrown on a pair of black hotpants.
Hot was the only possible way to describe us tonight. Although smoking could be a good adjective to throw in there too.
"Right, lets get this party started." I said, poking my tongue out at Cassie as I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the hallway. She giggled as we began to skip our way down the hallway. But we stopped in our tracks when we saw Luke and Ric standing in the doorway, with Parker and Lily on their arms.
"And here I was thinking this holiday could not get any worse." Cassie muttered under her breath as I burst into fits of laughter. Parker and Lily glared at us, while Ric and Luke exchanged a glance as they surveyed our outfits.
"Um, Hi… guys." I managed to get out between bursts of laughter, as Cassie collapsed on my shoulder, laughing as hard as I was. They continued to stare at us as we lost it right there in front of them, but eventually we managed to calm ourselves down.
"Going out?" I asked, controlling the laughter that threatened to spill again.
"I think they've lost it." Parker whispered to Lily, as they both looked towards the boys.
I rolled my eyes at Cass who began to giggle again. We didn't care any more. We honestly didn't care. At least, that's what we kept telling ourselves.
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I looked at Luke again, as Maddie and Cassie threatened to spill with laughter again. This was not good, not good at all. We'd tried reaching out to them over the week. Tried to include them, tried to spoil them, tried to convince them that they were the only ones for us.
But none of it had worked. They'd continued to pull slowly away from us, and become lost in their own little world. Before, when it had happened, Luke and I had always been so sure that we'd be able to pull them back to us, but this time, I really thought we'd lost our footing, and were falling, unable to help them back to us.
"We were actually going out." I said finally, as Cassie's head snapped towards me. "How about you two?" I asked, gesturing to their outfits "Were you girls planning a night out?"
"You could say that." Cassie replied coldly, having lost all of the humour she'd displayed before.
"Not planning on attending the big summer blow out by any chance?" Lily asked, in a somewhat snide manner.
"Maybe." Maddie said, glaring at her. "What's it to you if we were?"
"You'd actually show up alone to that?" Parker scoffed at them, as she and Lily rolled their eyes at one another.
Cassie and Maddie shared a look, and before turning to glare at Luke and I once more. I was suddenly seeing a side to Parker and Lily that I hadn't before. And everything was becoming crystal clear.
"We won't be alone." Maddie snapped finally, grabbing Cassie's hand and pulling her towards the door. "We'll be together. Hoe's over bros." She said, as they shot one final look our way. "Its always been that way." She quipped, as they slammed the door behind them.
"You've got to be kidding me." Parker snapped, as she practically took a hold of my hand and pulled me towards her. "Hoe's over bros. Have you ever heard anything more stupid?" She said, as she and Lily began cacking themselves in the most unattractive manner.
When Maddie and Cassie had been laughing only moments before, all I'd wanted to do was sit down and watch the smile that formed on Cassie's face remain there. When Parker and Lily laughed, I wanted to tear my hair out in annoyance. Why hadn't I noticed that before?
"Dude." Luke said, leaving Parker and Lily alone and walking over to me "You know how they can get, when they are severely annoyed like they have been over the last week. We can't just let them go out there alone."
"Oh but they're not alone. They're with one another. Hoes over bros." She said, her tone mocking.
Luke cast an odd look in their direction before turning to look at me, a desperate plea in his eyes.
"Ric, they aren't themselves. They are pretending that everything is fine, when clearly its not. Now, I've been ignoring it for the last week, because that's what Maddie wanted. But I can't ignore this any more. There are some things that just need to be said, and I need to tell her them tonight." He said, his tone definite. "And I think you need to talk to Cassie too." He said, as he glanced over at Parker and Lily, who had gone quiet at his words. "She needs to hear it all from you Ric. Otherwise she'll never believe you." He said, his eyes conveying what his words didn't.
Luke was right. Cassie needed to be told everything. Because it wouldn't be fair on us if I didn't. It wouldn't be fair on her if I didn't. There was so much I'd hidden from her, because I was too scared to hurt her… too scared to hurt me. But I couldn't go on like this, because I knew then and there that I needed her in my life to make things work. I needed to make everything right. And that would only come if I told her everything. And didn't hold anything back.
"We've got to be quick." I said to Luke, as he grinned back at me, knowing full well my decision. "Otherwise they'll be too smashed to listen to a word we have to say."
"So what's the plan?" He asked, grabbing the key to the room.
"Helloo?" An annoying voice said from behind us, and as both spun around to find Parker and Lily waiting expectantly for us to do something. "What about us, we can't go there tonight without dates."
"You thought we were going out on a date?" Luke asked, his grin becoming wider as a laugh threatened to spill.
Parker shrugged her shoulder and looked at us, as if saying, "Well, yeah!"
"Sorry girls. But we're head over heels for another two females." I said, grinning at Luke. "And we've got to go beg our asses off for forgiveness." I finished, as we ran out the door and slammed it shut behind us.
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The heat was overwhelming outside the Hotel. Summer had come full circle, and a mixture of heat, emotion, and feeling had all become too intoxicating. But it didn't matter. Nothing felt right any more.
"Suddenly, this doesn't seem like that much fun any more." I yelled over the music, as Maddie nodded her head thoughtfully. Her eyes had glazed over, as she'd become lost in her own little world in the last couple of minutes. I felt like doing that too. Like backtracking, like hiding away in our room until reality passed me by.
But suddenly, that reality seemed highly unlikely to happen.
I pinched Maddie's arm, and she looked up and glared at me, before looking in the direction I was pointing. Strutting directly towards us, sly, cunning, evil smiles gracing their faces were Henry and Hilary.
"They look very pleased with themselves." Maddie said, as I nodded my head, before I began to laugh.
Maddie turned to look at me, completely shocked. "Have you gone mad?" She asked, as she raised her hand to my forehead.
"No…" I giggled. "I was just thinking, all we need is a bar and a bottle of champagne and we could so re-enact the scene from The Proposal, when Caleb proposes to Julie…" She said, as she giggled again.
I looked at her, before I began to laugh along with her.
"Hey sis." Henry said, as he approached us, before looking at us strangely as we both continued to laugh.
"Go away." Maddie managed to get out between laughs. I was really beginning to think that we'd both lost it, but then I figured we were too past the point of caring any more. Its not like Luke or Ric cared, I thought bitterly, which eased my laughter.
"So Hil and I were just dropping by to say 'ciao' as we're off tomorrow." Henry continued, as if he didn't notice that Maddie had just told him to bugger off.
"Good one Henry." Maddie snapped at him, her laughter having faded too "Like I actually care that you're leaving. As far as I'm concerned, you can bugger off for the rest of my life for all I care. You're no brother of mine."
"That hurts." Henry said sarcastically "What happened to blood being thicker than water?"
"Tainted blood." She said, shrugging, before grabbing my hand and pushing past them.
But Henry didn't want to let go that easily. He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him.
"You ruined my life Maddie. It was always 'Matilda this' and 'Matilda that' and I was always second string. I was always forgotten." He said harshly, glaring at her. "The simplest solution? Ruin your life. Last summer, I almost managed it. But I wasn't ready. This summer, I was. The best part was that I hardly had to do anything. Luke practically ruined your relationship himself. Same as Ric for he and Cassie. I just got to sit back and enjoy the show." He said, smirking at Maddie as she took a step back.
"Go to hell" She said, slapping him across the face, then turned and ran through the crowd.
He rubbed his jaw as he smiled evilly at me.
"You're a sad, pathetic loser." I said sadly, shaking my head at him before turning on my heel and chasing after Maddie. I didn't want to waste my breath on him, not when my best friend was alone in the state she was.
Looking around, desperately trying to catch a glimpse of her, I finally saw her break free from the crowd and head towards the beach. Sighing, I pushed gingerly through the large amounts of people who were oblivious to any problems they might be dealing with, and followed her. In the end, I didn't have to go very far. There, on the edge of the sand, sat her figure, huddled in a little ball.
I walked towards her, and sat down gently by her side. Tears had begun to trickle down her face, but she furiously wiped them away when she glanced at me.
"How can he do that to his own flesh and blood?" She cried finally, falling into my waiting arms.
"I don't know Tilly," I said gently "I just don't know."
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"Can you see them anywhere?" I asked Ric, as I searched the crowd for a hint of a person that could be Maddie or Cassie.
"No." He sighed, sounding a little annoyed. It was only the fourth time that minute that I'd asked him. He just didn't appear to seem as anxious to find them as I was. And I couldn't figure out why… he had just as much… if not more to lose than I did. So I did the only thing I knew how to, I confronted him.
"What the hell is going on?" I asked, pulling him roughly aside to the outskirts of the crowd.
"Hey!" He said, pulling away from me. "What the hell is going on with you?"
"Me?" I asked, "What about you? Its like you can't even be bothered to try and find Cassie and Maddie. Its like you don't want to fix things with them. What happened? Upstairs you were all for ditching Parker and Lily to find them, but now? I'm starting to think you'd rather be dancing the night away with Parker in your arms… not Cassie." I said, as Ric looked at me before pushing me away and walking a little away from me.
"Its not that. Well… I don't know any more. I love Cass. She's like a part of me. Like something that I need to live. And I know how corny that sounds, but it's the truth. And that scares the hell out of me." He said, shrugging me away when I came closer to him.
I'd never seen him like this. He and Cassie, they were always the ones that were so sure. I mean, they'd survived hell with Flynn, and they'd come back from that stronger than ever. Then after last summer, they'd just fitted back into one another. As if all cracks, all flaws had faded away instantly.
Maybe I'd been wrong.
"What if I'm just living in this one reality, and I've become so comfortable that I've forgotten to feel a spark that I could be missing out on, with other girls?" He asked finally, as I looked at him questioningly.
"You mean with Parker?" I asked raising an eyebrow, as his face began to become strained.
"No… but yes. What if I missed something along the way, because I was so comfortable with Cassie?" He asked pleadingly.
"Where is all this doubt coming from?" I asked him, as he made a face at me.
"She's going off to University this year. Heading for bigger and better things. What happens if she gets there, and she realises that she's been the one in the relationship for comfort? If she finds someone… to love her more than I can? Because all I can really offer her is my love." He said, his voice finally cracking.
I looked up towards him, opening my mouth to say one thing, but then I caught sight of two unmistakeable figures huddled together on a lone stretch of beach, and another came out.
"Well, here's your chance to ask her." I said finally, pointing to Maddie and Cassie.
He looked toward them, but then looked back to the ground, as if he were unable to comprehend the enormity, the importance of the situation.
"Its now or never." I said to him seriously, as he looked up towards them.
"Now or never" He repeated, walking towards them, a grim look on his face.
We were all so preoccupied with our thoughts at that moment in time that we failed to notice the dark storm clouds forming in the distance.
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AN: Okay, there is seriously more coming. Its all finished, but I don't want to overload Jade. But I promise I won't make you wait for too long. I hope you're enjoying it. More soon!