HOGWARTS GREAT HALL!
Everyone was tormented. The whole hall was covered in black. The school robes where all bordered in black.
The doors slammed open and Jane walked in.
"Jees who died and took all your happiness?" She said in a loud voice that carried through the whole hall.
"Professor Dumbledore died young lady so please watch what you say." McGonagall shot back.
"Well soorrrrrrryyyyyyy for breathing" Jane replied then she whispered "Ya old cow"
"Well I don't think that that old coot is dead. What do you think killed him?" Jane enquired.
"Arvada Kedavra!" one of the Slytherins shouted out. Glad that the old coot was dead.
"HEHEHEHHEEHHEHEHEEHEH!" Jane started laughing. "You think that a lil old "Avada Kedavra!" could kill one of the greatest wizards of all time. ARE YOU INSANE?"
"He's dead. Can't you accept that?" one of the Huffelpuffs cried, tears streaming down his face.
"Remind me to NEVER get one of them drunk!" Jane said. "They must have suicidal parties. That just reminds me why I don't like that sentimental lot."
The poor Huffelpuff sobbed harder and even more Huffelpuffs joined in.
"Yes I always thought that they had killer parties!" A voice drawled from the Slytherin table. Jane looked over and saw the trade mark Malfoy hair.
Just as Jane was about to reply the doors swung open to admit a furious Dumbledore.
Everyone gasped and even more Huffelpuffs started crying with joy. McGonagall stood up and started towards Dumbledore when he turned on Jane.
"STOP TEASING THE STUDENTS YOU EVIL COW!" he shouted at Jane. "This is why I tried to kill you. You are just plain mean and you, Miss Malfoy, should know better than to tease the Huffelpuffs.
"I'm Mr Malfoy." Draco called out.
"I'm not talking to you Mr, Malfoy I'm talking to Miss Malfoy here." Dumbledore turned to Jane. "Why are you here? Didn't I tell you to leave and never come back?"
"Well yes you did Albus but you see I'm here to take care of my nephew here and to see if my cousin is still alive and……….well…….. you see……………. I'm tire of travelling around and being admired. I read in the "Prophet" when I landed that you need a DADA teacher and so I decided "What the hell, why not" and well I'm here to offer my services as 'Evil wizard killer and defender of sanity' extraordinaire." Jane concluded with a flourish.
Most of the hall looked at her with a "HUH?" expression on their faces except for Draco. He listened to her speech and started clapping.
Jane bowed to him and asked cheekily "Encore?"
Draco sniggered, that was exactly what his father has said last time he had made a speech.
Jane knew what he was sniggering at and stage whispered "Well who do you think taught your father to make speeches? He doesn't call me his older sister for nothing."
This was such a shock for Draco that he actually fell off his seat.
"WHAT? I NEVER HEARD HIM TALK OF A SISTER." He shouted shocked.
"Watch your tone young man. Malfoys do NOT shout." Jane said harshly.
During Draco's confusion Dumbledore was thinking.
"Ok" he said, to everyone's shock. "Ok you have the job. Under one condition……… who is your cousin please?"
"Ooo, right thanks, that reminds me," Jane said. Becoming all regal and official she said in her best sane voice, "I Jane, adoptive daughter of Melina and Drago Malfoy, closest living 'of age' member of the Potter-Black family that doesn't follow the dark lord, or Dumbledore for that fact, daughter of Evina Black and Michael Potter, sister in law of James Potter (deceased) and Sirius Black (a teacher here), Aunt of the world renowned Harry Potter, Sole beneficiary of the Black vault, Accept my responsibility as his aunt to carry on where first James and Lilly left off and take over from Sirius and become legal guardian of Harry James Potter."
Every one looked at her like she was finally insane.
At this Dumbledore was the one starting to giggle. (AN: OOC I KNOW BUT I COULDN'T HELP IT)
"WHAT?" Jane asked insulted. "Did I go over board?"
"Just a tad" the giggling headmaster replied.
"Oh well what's done is done. Will you just sign here?" Jane said to Dumbledore holding out a sheet of paper informing her that she was now Harry's guardian.
"Pen?" Dumbledore asked getting serious again.
"Of course!" Jane said pulling a pen out of her twisted braid.
Dumbledore led Jane into the teacher's private dining room to have a talk with her. If she wanted the DADA job he had to know why she was doing this.
"So why the sudden interest in Harry, Jane?" Dumbledore asked signing the papers to say that Jane was Harry's guardian.
"My lawyer……" Jane mumbled. "He said that it was my responsibility, my duty, he called me a coward and said that my real parents would have been ashamed of me if I didn't. I mean I'm back in the country for three days and already I am taking charge of a child……two children in fact. ME, Jane Malfoy-Potter-Black, the girl most likely to get assassinated or killed. Destined to be single for the rest of my life, STUCK with two snivelling little teenage brats because they are related to me. WHY ME?" Jane had worked her self up into a frenzy. Cutlery was rattling and one window cracked down the centre.
"Jane stop it right now!" Dumbledore ordered her knowing that if she got too angry stuff would happen that wouldn't be able to be stopped.
"Sorry……."Jane said sheepishly. She pulled her power back into her and scuffed her foot on the floor. "You know I have an anger problem." She said in explanation.
Dumbledore nodded and asked her. "Who else are you responsible for please. Also I need to see papers saying so or I can't accept that."
Jane didn't answer she just thrust the papers signed by Lucius and Narcissa at Dumbledore.
Dumbledore looked at the papers and gasped. "WHAT but….but….but they'll kill each other. They are just like their fathers at school and you remember how that was. Anyway I don't think Snape will allow it. You know how he hates you.
"I don't hate Miss Malfoy I just wish to kill her sometimes." Snape said. "She is an insufferable flirt and doesn't follow the rules." It seemed that the other teachers and staff couldn't contain their interest in this strange woman and had followed them into the dining room.
"So will she be joining us?" McGonagall asked Dumbledore.
"Yes" Dumbledore sighed, "she is the best and well I think we will be able to hold on to her for more than a year. Where would you like your rooms to be?" Dumbledore asked Jane resigned to the fact that she was here and she was going to stay no matter what he said or did so he might as well put her to good use.
"I don't think it is safe to have her on staff." Came the objection from Snape. "She is a danger to the students and is a bad roll-model. She insults students and staff alike and I just don't like her."
"Well Severus you will just have to get over it she is the best Defence against the dark arts teacher that we will be able to find. So unless Tom Riddle comes and she has tea with him and plots to take over the world with him then I don't want to hear anymore about it." Dumbledore started to get angry at Snape, he would just have to get over his feelings for the new DADA teacher, be they hate or something else. "And also I don't think that Jane will be having tea with Voldermort without me there so there is no problem there."
Jane sensing that Snape wouldn't say anything more thought about where she would like to be. She loved the high tower rooms but they weren't as easy to defend. "Do you have a lovely little place in the dungeons for me headmaster?" Jane asked. "Preferably on the other side of the castle to Snape, he snores." She added.
Snape sniffed and made his excuse having a pile of marking to do and left. Why couldn't he stand that woman, she knew exactly what to do and say to get his so angry.
All the other staff went to their own rooms as it was starting to get late.
"I have just the rooms for you my dear. I do belive that your old house elf is here and I'm sure you wish to get prepared. You start tomorrow." Dumbledore informed Jane.
"Thankyou headmaster" Jane said quickly. "Dobby!" she called out.
Dobby appeared with a "POP" and squealed when he saw her. "Mistress Jane dobby is very glad to see you. What does Mistress Jane wish for her humble dobby?"
Jane pulled out a small box from her pocket and handed it to Dobby. "Here is all my stuff, in its usual travelling form. Please set up my rooms in basement 5 room E4. You remember how I like my stuff, right?" she asked.
"Yes mistress Jane Dobby will do it immeadiatly." Dobby said as he disappeared with a pop.
"I think I'll walk to my room" Jane thought to her self.