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That Endless Summer
Chapter Seventeen: So Long Summer
"The summer sends its love to you,
the same as every year.
But this year I will send mine too,
and wish that you were here."
-The Summer Sends Its Love by Sherwood
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"I'm going with Cassie." I said to Luke the next morning as I shut my suitcase tight.
"You sure?" He asked, taking it from underneath my hands and carrying it towards the door. Sighing, I shook my head and fell back down onto the bed.
"When you say that, you really mean to ask if you think I'm better off shoving she and Ric in a car together for the entire drive home in the hopes that they'll sort out their differences, and we can end this summer how it should?" I asked, and Luke grinned a little at my bluntness, nodding his head.
"While I think that would be the simplest way of fixing things between them," I said to him. "I'm not that mean. Cassie would hate me forever if I did that to her, and what kind of a best friend would that make me?" I asked, as Luke moved from the doorway to next to me.
"One that knows her best friend is throwing away her perfect relationship." He supplied, as I shook my head.
"Its not that simple for Cass. It never was." I said, mostly to myself, and Luke cast an odd glance in my direction.
"I'll just say that Cass and I had some major bonding time during this holiday." I added for him, which caused him to look down sadly.
"I'm sorry for ruining it for you two." He said, for what felt like the millionth time since the night before.
"How many times do I have to tell you, stop apologising!" I said, hitting him lightly. "You've said it enough, it's really losing any meaning it ever had now." I said, grinning at him as he grinned back goofily at me.
It was becoming easier now. And less awkward. Of course, I'd spent the night in a room with Cassie, up to my ears in tissues as I comforted her till the early hours of the morning, when she'd finally fallen asleep out of sheer exhaustion. But this morning, Luke and I had talked. Really talked. And it was becoming easier. The lying was becoming easier.
A knock at the door broke me out of my thoughts, and I looked up to find a tired Ric pop his head in.
"You about ready to pack the car?" He asked Luke, avoiding eye contact in all possible cases.
"Yeah." Luke replied, standing up and kissing my head, while Ric looked away guiltily. "I'll just grab Cassie's stuff and we'll pack the cars." Luke continued, flashing Ric a sympathetic look before giving me one final kiss.
"Sounds good." Ric replied uncaringly, "I've just got to take care of one thing."
"Well, I guess I'll leave you to it." I said, watching as Luke and Ric shuffled out of the room. I closed my eyes and counted to ten, before standing up and walking towards Cassie's room… the one that held a shattered girl.
I knocked lightly on the door, and heard a small "Come in." from inside. Slowly I opened the door and upon entering, found Cassie sitting in the middle of the floor, just staring out the sliding door that opened out towards the balcony.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" She asked, as I came to seat myself beside her. "The sky after a storm. I can't think of anything more beautiful." She said, her voice cracking. "Its like a world of swirling emotions, where joy and hope befriend fear and sadness. Everything always makes sense after a storm. Everything always fits." She said, closing her eyes and breathing in. "And that smell…" She said "Its indescribable. But so passionate, so beautiful. So unique."
I looked towards her and saw her features set in a indifferent expression that would be unreadable to the untrained eye.
But to me, I saw the broken girl who was pretending to be happy in her own little world. A girl who had to be content with the decisions she'd made because she could not go back. Because it would hurt too much to go back.
"Do you want to talk…" I began, but she cut me off quickly.
"No." She said firmly, opening her eyes and collecting herself from the ground.
"Okay, but if you ever…" I said again, but she looked at me and I knew she didn't need that now.
"I know Maddie. But I don't want to talk about it." She said, wiping away the solitary tear that rolled down her cheek. "I just want to forget any of it ever happened." She said bluntly, walking out the door.
Didn't we all?
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"You sure you want to do this?" Luke asked me again, as I nodded my head once more.
"Cassie made it quite clear she doesn't want to be with me. Because of this. So now there's nothing left for me in Summer Bay. And this is my dream. I'd be an idiot to give it up in the hopes of a feeble attempt at winning Cassie back." I replied sadly.
"But you haven't even tried." Luke said, but I didn't want to hear it.
"She doesn't want me to try Luke." I sighed, sitting down in a chair. "She doesn't want me to do anything except take this job and remove myself, and any trace of me, from her life. That's it. And I can't fight with her. I'm too tired to do that any more. I can't win." I said, as he clipped my arm.
"Well, you know I'm here for you, if you ever want to talk." He said, "And well, it's going to suck not having you around this year. We'll be at opposite ends of the country… we probably won't even speak to one another any more." Luke added in a melancholic tone.
"Don't say that. Who do you think I'll be calling up whenever I get myself into trouble with a girl?"
"That would be me, seeing as I'm the best sweet talker there is." Luke replied, grinning at me as I grinned back at him.
"We'll always be mates Luke. Even when you're a hot shot accountant, and I'm a pro surfer, we'll be mates. You can count on that." I said, holding my hand out to him.
He shook it, before pulling me into a half hug. He pulled back and laughed a little at me. "Pro surfer? Aren't you're ambitions a little on the high side there?"
"Nothings too high for this kid." James said as he came out from his office.
"James, Hi." I said, shooting up from his seat and holding my hand out to James, who shook it willingly.
"I'm assuming you're here in regards to the offer. Please tell me I won't have to look any further to find myself a great instructor?" He asked, and I smiled at him.
"I hope not, seeing as I'm driving back home only to pack, then come back up here. Permanently." I replied, as the first real smile I'd felt all morning began to form on my face.
"I'm glad." James replied, shaking my hand again. "So we'll expect you back by the end of the week?" He asked me, and I nodded.
"Yeah, I just have to pack and then drive back up here." I told James, "And that should only take me four days, max." I continued "I plan to be back here and hitting the waves by next Saturday."
"Enthusiasm, I like it. I have a feeling this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship." James said, nodding to me one final time before walking down the hallway.
"See you next Saturday." He called out over his shoulder, as I continued to grin.
"How does it feel?" Luke asked me, as we began to walk out of the hotel.
"Like I've just sold my life away… but like a million bucks too." I replied, my smile fading slowly. "None of it really feels real any more." I continued, before pausing and turning to face him. "You know, last summer I really though it was the end of Cass and I. But then, everything seemed to fix itself. Am I a fool for believing, until last night, that this summer would be the same?" I asked Luke, as he shook his head.
"No, it's not stupid at all. Although we did our fair share of stupid things, that's not one of them." He said.
"I just believed that she'd be happy for me." I said, "And that we'd make it through this. I always though we could take on the world. I guess I was wrong." I said, shaking my head and walking towards the car.
"She might just need time to cool off." Luke said, jogging to catch up with me. "She might just need some convincing. Or she might get to Summer Bay and realise that she's made this huge mistake and she'll take it all back. Anything could happen between now and when we get home." He said.
Luke was always the optimist. But he could afford to be. Maddie had forgiven him. And even though they were talking baby steps, they were still sorting things out. I'd be lucky if Cassie ever spoke to me again.
"Just believe, that's all I'm saying." Luke reiterated. And I smiled at him.
Believe? In what? I wasn't too sure what I believed in any more.
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Pulling open the car door, I noted that the girls car was still sitting there, untouched, which meant that they had yet to leave. I turned to Ric, who was climbing into the drivers side.
"I'm just going to check in with Maddie." I said, as he nodded.
Pulling out my phone, I hit two on the speed dial and waited for three rings before she picked up.
"You bout ready to leave?" I asked, as she giggled into the phone.
"Almost, we're just doing one more thing." She said, giggling again.
"And what would that be?" I asked.
"Retail therapy." She replied.
I could imagine her shrugging at that time, because it should have been entirely obvious that they'd chosen to shop once more before leaving. Of course, the inner workings of a females mind were far too confusing for any male to figure out. I still never understood why females didn't get that.
"Okay." I said "Have fun, and check in with me later."
"Yep. Love you." She said.
"Love you too." I replied, flipping the phone shut as I walked back to the car and climbed in.
"They're shopping." I replied to the questioning look Ric had shot me.
"Figures." He muttered.
"That's what I thought." I said, as we laughed together. As I tried to become comfortable, I realised I was sitting on something. Moving up a little, I pulled the boys book of wisdom from underneath me.
"Fat lot of good that did us." Ric grunted, as I smirked at him.
"Maybe it's got some wisdom for us now though." I replied, closing my eyes and flipping it open to a page and reading aloud.
So you're in the bad books? And you've done everything you can possibly think of to get back into their good books, and nothing has worked. Not the flowers, nor the chocolate, nor the pulling out of Third Season Gilmore Girls when Jess looks it up?
Here's our advice. Let them stew. Leave them to it. And everything will fix itself. Remember guys, for better or worse. And if its for worse, well, just remember that they can't possibly exist without your friendship at least. So how about a peace offering that says 'I know we can't work this out, but we'll always be friends.'
Think of something they'd love, and send it that way. We know you can do it. And remember, it's the friendship that counts the most. Not the rest. The promise that you'll always be there to support them, as a friend, as a boyfriend, as an overprotective brother. Just that you'll be there for them.
Ric groaned, and bashed his head against the steering wheel. "Why must they always be right?" He asked, as I grinned at him.
"Just part of their charm." I replied, laughing as he turned the engine over. "Come on, I think we also have one last stop to make before we leave this heaven in hell." I said, as Ric turned to look at me. "The peace offering?" I asked, as he shook his head.
"No way. She hates me. We've been through this." He said, but I refused to believe it.
"Just let her know that you're there for her, no matter what." I continued, an idea creating itself quickly in my mind. "She needs to know that, otherwise you'll never ever be friends. And you do still want her friendship, right?" I asked, and Ric nodded in reply. "So come on, lets go and attempt to fix this."
"And how would you do that, oh suddenly wise one?" Ric asked, as he pulled the car out of the parking space and began to maneuver it out of the car park.
"Well, a small gift. That means more than it costs." I replied, thinking hard. "Something that shows that you know her more than she thinks. Something that shows her that despite everything she believes, she's still one of the most important people in your life. Something that says 'I'm here for you no matter what.' Any ideas?" I asked him, as his eyes lit up as we drove slowly past a store.
"I think that maybe, I might just possibly, have one for both of us." He replied, slowly parking the car and turning off the engine.
"But I don't need to suck up." I said.
"Yet. Remember, you move to Canberra, and Maddie will have some doubts. This way, you can cut them off before they come." Ric replied, jumping out of the car and motioning for me to follow.
This better be good, I thought to myself as I unbuckled my seatbelt and followed him quickly.
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I stared out of the window, watching the landscape fly by at a quick pace. For a moment there, I'd believe that I could be saved. While shopping with Maddie, everything appeared to have gone back to normal. I'd even been smiling. But as soon as I'd returned to the car, that at one stage, I'd sat in with Ric, I'd laughed and smiled, and generally been happy in… with him… everything had just gone out the window. And suddenly I just wanted to be alone in that storm once more.
Because at least then I'd managed to feel alive. At least then he hadn't haunted me, every time I closed my eyes, every time I thought of something, it was him. Always him.
Apparently Maddie had become bored of the silence, because I felt an object land gently in my lap, and looked to find one of the mixed CDs that had been prepared for us sitting there. I looked towards Maddie questioningly, but she only smiled and asked "What?" innocently. "I thought the car could do with a little cheer, instead of all the doom and gloom." she continued, as I poked my tongue out at her.
"Oh deal with it drama queen. Best friend trying to fix things here. I know you hate me now, but sooner or later you won't. So tell me Cass, what soundtrack are we traveling home to?" She cried, and I couldn't help but respond.
"That would be the 'Too tired to care' soundtrack, including classics such as…" I said, as the melodic sounds of Ruby Tuesday by The Rolling Stones filled the car. "And other such soothing classics that will make you're journey just that little bit easier." She glared a little at me, obviously catching the not so subtle sarcastic tone I'd thrown out there.
"I can live with that." She sighed, turning up the music as I tossed the CD case down onto the floor and resumed my position of staring blankly out the window. I heard her sigh, and could practically hear the thoughts ticking over in her head.
"God Cassie, either suck up your decision or take it back."
Okay, so maybe it wouldn't have been that harsh, but that's what I would have been thinking about Maddie had she been in my position. Then again, I wouldn't have sat up for half the night with her, nor would I have driven her back home. I would have locked her in a room with Lucas until they either killed one another or made up.
Considering everything, I suddenly realised that Maddie was a much better friend that I had ever been. And that she was only trying to make me feel the tiniest bit better. She'd been my rock throughout this entire summer. Always there for me, always reminding me of Hoes over Bros. And now look at me, I was being a complete witch to her. Like I would have been had she been in my position this summer.
"Maddie" I said finally "I'm sorry. I know I've not been the best kind of company these few days, and you've been so good to me. I just think you should drop me off here and make me walk the rest of the way home because of how I've been behaving."
She laughed as she glanced in my direction.
"That's possibly the smartest thing you've said recently." She said, as she grinned, watching the road infront of her. "And you know why I've been doing it Cass, and putting up with your crap. Because we're best friends Cass. Hoes over bros remember? Like I'd ditch you." She said, smiling broadly at me for a second.
"And you know I'm like, forever in debt to you because of it." I replied, as she laughed again.
"Glad you realised, because, as you know, we'll probably be living together this year, and you know, I have a bigger wardrobe than you, so I'll be claiming the bigger room, as of lets say, now."
"Oh whatever you reckon, I am not that in debited to you!" I cried, as she laughed harder.
"Yes!" Came the instant reply, and we both began to laugh.
It was like something had been lifted from my mind. Like the pain had been dulled for now… at least. The storm had cleared, and there was even a hint of a rainbow in the distance.
Now all I had to do was survive opening the newspaper and searching for my initials and that one course that could determine the new course of my life… one without Ric.
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AN: One more to go. Thanks to Jade for proofing! I hope you don't hate me a lot. I will give you permission to hate me a little though.