Another Story

Disclaimer: I own nothing, I just have too much free time.

A couple of you have suggested ideas in some of your reviews, and as much as I would like to use those ideas, I'm too lazy. I have to force myself to write this. I really need to get off my lazy bum and write some more Harry Potter stories, but I'm totally out of ideas. Good ones, anyway.

It was just another day at the LEP Headquarters. Holly Short, Lili Frond, Trouble Kelp, and Grub Kelp were all putting off boring paper work in the employee's lounge. What else is new, eh?

Holly was standing by the coffee machine, listening to Lili ramble on about something pointless, stirring her coffee numbly with a little plastic stick. Trouble was sitting on a ratty old couch in the corner, next to Grub who was whining about something as usual. And, as usual, Trouble did not really care.

"You know, Holly, you really should try a little mascara every once in a while. It'll really bring out those pretty eyes of yours," Lili said, batting her perfectly mascara-fied eyelashes.

"Uh-Huh…"

"And why don't you do something with your hair once in a while? There isn't much you can do, I suppose. Why don't you grow it out? Oh, I wanted to ask you, what shampoo do you use? You've got wonderful hair, but it seems a little dry lately. You should try something with extra moisturizer, or maybe a leave-in conditioner. Holly? Holly, are you listening?"

"…What? Er, yeah. Yeah, I'm listening," Holly said, wishing Lili would just shut up.

"Hey, Trubs," Grub said. "What do you do when you break a nail? I just had a manicure the other day, but that last retrieval mission was really rough on my hands, and I broke not one, but TWO of my nails! This is like torture, they're gonna take forever to grow back…"

"Grub, I've never broken a nail before. And if I had, I wouldn't care."

"Well, fine. You really should get more sleep, or you wouldn't be so grumpy all the time."

At that moment, the author ran out of inspiration, and Chix walked in. He ignored Trouble and Grub and walked straight over to Holly and Lili.

"Hey, ladies. Wanna see my new cock?"

Author's Note: I believe I've sunk to a new low.

Lili stopped in mid-ramble, and looked up excitedly, and Holly accidentally spilled her coffee. She bitch-slapped (I felt like using the word 'bitch') Chix across the face like an enraged pimp (and 'pimp'). At that moment, a startled rooster lept from Chix's trousers.

"CHIX! What the HELL?" Holly exclaimed. Lili stood there, failing to hide the look of severe disappointment on her face.

"Damn, Holly, are you gonna spank me too?"

"Grow up, Verbil." Trouble said from the other side of the room. Grub giggled, and immediately received a punch in the arm from his brother.

Just then, Foaly trotted in. "Hey, everyone!" He said. "BeetRoot's gone insane and he's standing on his desk singing worn-out old power ballads from the 80's and playing air guitar!"

"What the hell?" Holly said, for the second time in as many minutes.

"Huh?" Trouble asked, not being able to form a complete sentence in his awe-struck state.

Grub wriggled excitedly. "Really?" He exclaimed.

"Haha. No. I just wanted to see what you all would say. Now, come, Lili! Ride me! Ride me like a pony!"

Definitely sunk to a new low…

With that, Lili jumped on Foaly's back, and Foaly galloped off in no particular direction.

Holly and Trouble shared of a look that purely said "What the hell?" and Grub sat there looking disappointed.

This is what happens when I force myself to write something in the wee hours of the morning.

Review, please.