Disclaimer: I own nothing. You already know that. Moving on.
Hyde A/N: Chapter 20, a momentous occasion! I shall now sing happy birthday to Amon Acquires a Nuisance!
Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear AmonAcquiresaNuisance! Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuu! –throws virtual confetti-
Okay, you can take your fingers out of your ears now.
…………………
Amon surveyed his stash of XL orbo guns and other such powerful and frightening weaponry. Idly, he picked up a specially designed orbo machine gun. He examined it in minute detail. His eyes picked up a small fragment of dirt on the barrel. Hastily, he used the sleeve of his coat to wipe it away.
Then, his sensitive witch hunter hearing detected a noise. He froze in place. Then he relaxed a little. He had specially designed the Secret Room of Huge Dangerous Weaponry to be impossible to get into to.
Then, the impossible happened. The wall of the room slid up. Amon trained a souped-up orbo handgun on the figure.
As the figure stepped forward, the dim light from the hanging bulb revealed…the girl with the blue hair.
"Clever," she said. Apparently the look Amon gave her was questioning, for she said, "It's five o'clock, isn't it?"
Amon then remembered the crumpled note she had given him.
"Just to let you know, anyone with a large amount of expertise in such things could break your security code quite easily. I did."
Amon just stared at her. He still held the handgun, trained at her denim-clad midsection.
"Get. Out." he finally said.
"What?"
In one smooth, oft-rehearsed move, he put on a gas mask and pushed the "Emergency Intruder Immobilization" button. There was a hissing as gas was released into the room. Amon waited until the girl with blue hair was sufficiently asleep before opening a ventilator.
Slinging her over his shoulder, he left the Secret Room of Huge Dangerous Weaponry and started to his car. As he was depositing her in the backseat, he heard a loud yipping bark behind him.
He turned around to behold a little old lady with a little yippy dog carrying a mauve umbrella. There was a look of horror and disgust on her face.
"She…urm…fell asleep," he tried to explain.
The old lady whacked him over the head with her mauve umbrella once anyway, figuring that anyone with such long black hair had to deserve it in some way.
………………
Robin, in the apartment she shared with Touko, was having problems of her own.
"Come thou, Robin, with me to this fine literary discussion of the Elizabethan time period. Thou shalt love it indeed. I assureth thee!"
"No, thank you," Robin said softly.
"But thou hast looked so depressed of late. This indeed shall cheer thy heart and warm thy soul!"
"No, thank you," Robin said softly.
"Please?"
"No, thank you."
"I beg thee on bended knee!"
"No, thank you."
Just then, the doorbell rang.
"I shall get it!" Touko chimed.
When she opened the door, she was confronted by the confusing sight of Amon with a large, bulky, heavy, awkward sack over his shoulder.
"Greetings be unto thee, Amon."
Without answering her, he stepped in the door.
"Do you have a closet that locks?" he asked Robin.
"Um, yes. In the hall."
He lowered the sack to the floor and it slumped partially off its burden, revealing…a girl with blue hair?
Touko squealed loudly. "The out-of-style denim! It hurteth mine eyes!"
"Is she…" Robin started, but couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence in any manner.
"She's asleep," he said.
He slung her over his shoulder and walked down the hall to the closet. He deposited her inside and closed and locked the door.
"Don't let her out," he said. Then he was gone.
Touko leaped for the phone.
"Hello, Mandy? This be Touko. Thou shalt never believe this. Mine boyfriend, of whom I hath spoken to thee, hath locked a girl who hath blue hair in my closet…Yes, and she was wearing out of date denim!"
Robin left. She had a lot of things to sort out in her mind.
…………………
Not knowing where else to go, Robin went to Harry's. Karasuma and Doujima were there.
"…and then I said, 'Pink hair is SO un-purple.'" Doujima was saying. She broke off as she saw Robin enter.
"Robin! I heard Amon locked some girl with blue hair in your closet!"
Robin looked faintly surprised. "How did you know?"
"Word gets around," Karasuma said. Robin gave a faint nod.
"He must be a lunatic," said Doujima. "Sane people don't just walk around locking nut cases with blue hair in their co-workers' closets."
"Indisputably," Karasuma agreed.
"You shouldn't be subjected to that kind of thing," Doujima said to Robin. "If I were you, I would go whack him over the head with a mauve umbrella."
"Yep," Karasuma agreed.
"In fact, even though I'm not you, I may do it anyway."
"That's okay," said Robin hastily, always the pacifist.
Doujima ignored her protest. "Come on, Miho, lets see if Michael can locate him." The two set off for the STN-J headquarters. Robin trailed behind, hoping to prevent bloodshed.
………………
Amon was sitting on a random street corner stalking a random witch when Doujima, followed by Karasuma, Robin, and Sakaki (who was bored and decided to come along) found him.
Doujima gripped her extremely fashionable pink purse tightly in her hand. Her knuckles whitened.
Amon's witch-hunting sixth sense warned him just in time (it was accustomed to dealing with witches, not enraged blondes with deadly pink purses).
Robin gave a soft gasp as the purse just missed Amon's macho dark hair.
"Whack him, Doujima!" Karasuma cheered from the sidelines.
"Amon! Watch out for that left hook!" Sakaki cried in warning.
"Um, Doujima…" said Robin uncertainly. When her soft voice proved unsuccessful at gaining Doujima's attention (her entire being was focused on pounding Amon's dark macho face into the ground), she turned to Karasuma.
"Miho, you should stop them."
"Why? This is awesome!"
Finally, Amon managed to catch hold of Doujima's wrist. He lifted it up in the air, suspending her on her toes.
"Not fair!" Karasuma cried.
"I wish I could've done that," said Sakaki musingly.
"Amon, you take that blue-haired girl out of Robin's closet right now!" Doujima yelled.
Random passers-by turned and stared. No one noticed except for Robin, who eased back into the shadows and tried to disassociate herself from her colleagues.
"Miho! Assistance please!" Doujima said.
"Right," said Karasuma. She grabbed Amon by one arm and propelled him to her car nearby. The slight widening of his eyes showed Amon's extreme distress.
Karasuma shoved Amon and Doujima (whom he was still holding prisoner) into the backseat. Sakaki joined them and Robin slid inconspicuously into the front seat.
"Where are we going?" Amon asked darkly, while giving Karasuma's doors Sullen Glares That Cause All Doors Which Hold Macho Dark Witch Hunters Unwillingly Captive To Cease To Exist.
No one answered him. Anyone less macho would have felt extremely stupid in the uncomfortable silence that followed.
"You can let go of me now," Doujima broke the silence.
…………………
"She is not here," Touko explained to Karasuma.
"I told you not to let her out," Amon muttered darkly.
"We hath had a nice cup of tea," Touko added.
"A cup of tea?" Amon wondered darkly.
"Well, I guess our work here is done," Doujima said. She and Karasuma left, followed by Sakaki who kept saying, "I don't get it," over and over because he had had no idea what was going on in the first place.
"I can't believe you let her out," Amon said darkly to Touko.
"I let not her out. She let herself out." Touko replied.
"Anyone want coffee?" said Robin softly.
"I told you not to let her out."
"But she was indeed a very nice girl. I gave her thy phone number."
Amon stalked out in a fit of rage.
Robin sipped her coffee and looked soulfully after him.
…………………
Whew, long chapter! But it just kept going and going of its own accord. Reading over it again, it all seems a little pointless. Oh well. And Michael didn't get to be obsessed with waffle fries. Darn. I'll have to put that in the next chapter.
May Amon never randomly show up and fry all your ketchup with Sullen Glares That Fry All Condiments And Fried Eggs Within The Paths Of Dark Macho Witch Hunters,
Hyde
(Ais also sings "Happy Birthday" to AAAN. Or at least until she was asked to stop by civil authorities...)