Chapter Nine
Dayla was sitting on the armchair by the window, and Anakin was pacing back and forth in the room, talking to Obi-Wan per comlink. Through the Force, she perceived frustration and anger radiating from him, and she could associate with him. The woman he loved above all was gone, and he blamed himself for her disappearance.
"What do you mean by patience?" Anakin yelled into the comlink. "Padmé ran away, and she might be in danger!"
A crackling sound came from the gadget. Anakin listened to it, fuming. From the look of it, he didn't like the direction the conversation was going at all.
"Yes, Master," Anakin said with a badly hidden annoyance. He switched his comlink off and tossed it at the wall. It broke.
"Did it help?" Dayla asked quietly. Anakin was bursting, but she could barely move.
"No," Anakin said shortly. "Be wary of your emotions, Anakin," he mimicked Obi-Wan. If the situation wasn't so serious, and she so numb, Dayla would have laughed.
Anakin sighed wearily, and ran his hands through his golden hair, dishevelling it even more. "Obi-Wan will join us any moment, and we're supposed to wait for him," he said in his normal voice. He walked to the window and looked at the traffic outside. The streets were jammed as usual. "Obi-Wan hates flying," Anakin mumbled. "It will take ages till he arrives. And Padmé is in danger, I sense it."
Dayla jerked her head. "Danger?" she asked, bewildered.
Anakin stood by the window. "She had been kidnapped by Taren Meeda," he said through gritted teeth. He turned away from the window and faced Dayla. He was deadly pale, and he was shaking. "She is scared, and she's in pain."
"How do you know it?" Dayla asked him, baffled.
"I can feel it. I always feel it if she's afraid, or in peril. I always feel it if she thinks about me while I'm away." His voice trailed off, and he turned back to observing the traffic.
"I'll die if something happens to her. I can't live without her," he whispered. A single tear slid down his cheek.
Dayla felt again as if she were going to be sick. Anakin loved Padmé so much…The Nubian Senator had something that she could never have.
"I'll be outside," she murmured and rushed out of the room before Anakin had had the chance to stop her.
Her feet carried her to the streets, and she walked under the pouring rain, unaware of her surroundings. She was soaked to her skin and cold, but Dayla didn't take notice of any of it. She didn't care that she was supposed to wait for Master Kenobi. She needed to be alone, to be let wail in her misery.
Anakin and Padmé were bonded for eternity by marriage and their love for each other. Padmé was his wife, a second part of his soul. And who was she? Just a fellow Padawan, a symbol of belonging to the Order. She was just another Jedi, and in his heart, Anakin never belonged with the Jedi. His spirit was too free to be bound by the many rules.
She wasn't part of his life, and she never had been.
Rain drops kept falling on her face like rivers of tears, and Dayla stumbled blindly at the streets. How could she have been so naïve and believe that Anakin returned her feelings? He had made it perfectly clear…
Her eyelids were heavy, and a tickling warmth spread over her body. Her eyes fluttered open, and an untidy room with droid parts all over the place drifted into her sight range. These were not her quarters. Where was she? Then memories of past hours flooded into her mind.
Anakin kissing her…The feeling of his silky skin under her hands….His hot breath on her neck…The feeling of happiness and completion she had never experienced before…
Anakin. She gasped and turned around, but the place near her was empty and cold. He must have gotten up long ago. A lump formed in her throat, and her eyes started burning again, as bitter feeling of disappointment clawed its way into her heart. What did she expect? That after a night they spent together Anakin would declare his love for her? But thinking rationally didn't make her feel any better. In fact, the feeling of disappointment only intensified.
"You're awake," a quiet voice said from behind her. It belonged to Anakin. Dayla's heart made a mad flip and she turned around.
Anakin was sitting on the edge of the bed. He was fully clothed, and it looked like he had gotten up hours ago.
"How long have you been awake?" she asked him, her voice still drowsy.
"I got up as soon as you fell asleep," he said softly. His eyes reflected immeasurable sadness and guilt.
He looked away, biting his lip. "This night should never repeat again," he said after several seconds.
Dayla's heart sank. "Why? Didn't…Didn't you like it?" she asked shyly, her voice sounding very childish. The words slipped from her tongue before she could stop herself.
"No, it's not that," Anakin said hastily. He looked at her, and Dayla felt herself melting under the stare of his brilliant blue eyes again, for what it felt for the thousandth time. "It was wrong of me to do it to you."
"But it was the best night of my life," she whispered brokenly.
"Exactly," he said quietly. "I've played with your feelings, and I will never forgive myself for it. You're one of the most treasured things in my life, and I've hurt you."
"No, Ani," Dayla protested hot-heartedly. "Tonight, you've made me the happiest woman in the universe."
Anakin smiled slightly. It was a sad smile, full of bitterness and pain. "It was a lie," he said shortly. "And I betrayed the woman I love."
Dayla stared at him, baffled. "What do you mean?"
Anakin pursed his lips and then faced her with a resolved look written on his features. "I can never love you the way you desire me to, Dayla. My heart belongs to another woman, and I will love her as long as I breathe. Tonight, I betrayed the trust of my best friend and the memory of the woman I love."
"But you don't have any commitment to her," Dayla said, still at loss. "You didn't betray her."
Anakin shook his head, his eyes growing even sadder than before. "I'm hers and I will always be only hers even if I never see her again. I was unfaithful to her both in body and soul, and it was wrong of me."
A strained silence overtook the room. Anakin stared into the space, and Dayla did her best to fight her tears, but they stubbornly persisted to leave her eyes. After what seemed eternity, Anakin broke the silence, and his words were a stab into her heart.
"We shouldn't see each other for a while. It's for our mutual best."
The room began swimming, and Dayla squashed the sheets. "No," she managed to choke out. She felt so void.
Anakin moved to her and squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely, brushing a single tear from her cheek with his thumb. "I'm so sorry."
She caught his hands and kissed them hotly. "Don't…Please, don't-"she mumbled weakly, but her voice trailed away.
Anakin covered her hands with his. He stroked her cheek very gently, as if afraid she would shatter from his touch. "I love you, Dayla," he said softly, his intense eyes burning a hole in her soul. "And I always will, no matter what happens."
Silent tears were storming in rivers down her cheeks as she had long given up fighting them. It seemed to her as if she wasn't even in this room, that this all happened to another person.
"I love you, Anakin," she whispered in a barely audible voice. "I love you so much-"
Anakin closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. "I know," he said quietly. He kissed her forehead, and gave her hand a last squeeze before standing up.
He walked to the door, and pushed the button. The door slid open. He cast her a last glance, his eyes haunted with guilt and shining with deep affection at the same time.
"Farewell," he said shortly, and then he was gone.
The door hissed behind him, and Dayla was left alone in the room, on his bed, tears flowing freely down her cheeks, but no amount of tears would be able to measure the pain she experienced. Her heart was broken, and the light of her universe died off here, in the quarters of the man she would love forever.
Five years ago Anakin told her that he didn't love her. How could she have been so foolish? He had loved Padmé already then, years before they had met…
The rain was splattering even more madly, and the coldness grew so that her teeth started clattering. But her mind didn't perceive any of this.
Suddenly a sharp sense of fear and despair that was not her own stabbed her. She was standing in the dark alley, and the Dark Side of the Force was particularly strong there. Glimpses of emotions flashed in her mind. Guilt, fear, despair, love… A woman had been kidnapped, and Dayla knew who this woman was.
Padmé has been kidnapped.
A thought hit Dayla, and she sank onto the ground as her knees gave way. What if she stopped Anakin from saving her? Then Padmé would be gone from Anakin's life, and she might have had a chance with him. He would be heartbroken from the death of his wife, and she, his best friend, would comfort him, being at his side day and night. Anakin would depend on her help and would grow even closer than in their Padawan time. One day, Anakin's eyes may snap open and he would realise that he had loved her all along, from the beginning, and his love to Padmé had never been real…
Images of Anakin confessing his love to her were born in her mind, and a glowing flame ignited in her heart. Of course, Anakin would still grieve over Padmé, but his love for Dayla would make him whole again. She would carry his children, and he would take one of them as Padawan. A vision of a blonde-haired boy with bright blue eyes flashed before her eyes, and Dayla knew it to be Anakin's son. Maybe, one day Anakin would even marry her?
The rain didn't seem so cold anymore, and water splashed merrily under her knees. All she had to do was to find Padmé and ensure that Anakin would never locate her.
It would be murder. Are you capable of taking a life of an innocent person?
Dayla gave out a sob and slumped into the pool. That would be a murder…And she could never kill anyone, not even her rival. Besides, she felt bonded to Padmé – both of them were in love with one man so much it nearly drew them into insanity. If she killed Padmé, would Anakin ever be able to love her, a person who had taken life from the woman he loved?
A memory of Anakin standing by the window, waiting for Obi-Wan, exploded in her mind, and she felt sick again. I can't live without her, he had told Dayla. He had looked so devastated and desperate... A stab of endless shame pierced her, and she couldn't suppress a savage cry. How could she have ever thought about hurting Padmé on purpose? She was a Jedi, and the duty of the Jedi was to protect the helpless and shut down the emotions.
But the Code didn't matter to her at that moment. All that mattered was that she would hurt Anakin and commit a crime he would never forgive her. She didn't know if she could forgive herself either. Anakin's haunted blue eyes swam into her mind again, and her heart constricted in pain. She could never, ever hurt him. She cared about his feelings more than about her own.
A peal of thunder rocketed from far away. Very slowly, Dayla got up and, reaching into the Force, traced Padmé's location.
As she walked under the rain, she realised that all her dreams of Anakin returning her feelings were just an illusion of a lovesick girl. His heart was beating only for Padmé, and Dayla would never, ever replace her. She had no place in Anakin's life, and thus she had no place in the world. Life without him was empty and colourless, and not worth living at all.
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A yellow speeder was rushing through the splashing rain, narrowly avoiding the collision with other machines and breaking at least a dozen traffic rules. Obi-Wan Kenobi sat on the by-passenger sit, and Anakin Skywalker was driving.
"How come that Taren escaped the prison?" Anakin barked loudly, throwing the machine in a sharp vertical dive. A violet speeder beeped at them, and Anakin pulled rigidly on the left.
"I don't know," Obi-Wan panted, trying to find his voice after another stunt. "The guards didn't notice anything."
Anakin growled and headed for the planet surface with a breathtaking speed. To Obi-Wan, he resembled a dark rain cloud sending bolts of lightning, but glowing with love at the same time. And Kenobi also sensed desperation and … guilt radiating in waves from his friend. Obi-Wan sighed. As it looked, Taren Meeda had kidnapped Padmé, and the Nubian Senator has always been a weak spot for his former Padawan.
"W-w-where is Dayla?" Obi-Wan yelled, clutching at his seat for the dear life. If the situation wasn't so serious, Anakin would have to endure a long, boring lecture about showing disrespect to his former Master for pulling such stunts.
"She is not capable of any fighting at the moment," Anakin said quietly.
A silence stretched between them. Obi-Wan pondered silently over the extent of Anakin and Dayla's relationship. On many occasions, he had spotted her giving Anakin the same look of longing he had given Siri. The two of them had been very close friends as Padawans, but the death of their two mutual friends drove them apart instead of strengthening the bond. Something must have happened between Anakin and Dayla, and now the old secret resurfaced again. Obi-Wan wondered how many secrets Anakin was hiding from him.
"Do you know where we are heading to?"
Instead of answering, Anakin pulled the speeder up so spontaneously that Obi-Wan had to suppress the urge to vomit.
"Padmé is in danger," Anakin replied shortly, his eyes glassy. "I can sense her."
Obi-Wan decided that it was safer for him not to ask how his brother was able to locate the Senator he had officially been seeing only once or twice a year. They were flying through the Coruscanti streets with a speed of a rocket, and Obi-Wan could only hope that they would make it. He also hoped that Anakin would be able to control his emotions.
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A twister of anguish and desperation hurtled over the shabby, worn building in one of the most horrible streets of the Coruscanti underworld. Dayla ignited her lightsaber and, calling upon the Force, stepped cautiously inside. A sweetish, rotten smell washed over her, and she had gotten a feeling as if she walked into the realm of death.
Through the Force, Dayla perceived a sudden movement on her left, and, turning round, she found her being cornered by several battle droids. Absolute silence was disturbed only by the sound of pulled triggers and the humming lightsaber.
"Jedi, surrender," said one of them, his mechanical voice booming oddly in the hall.
"No, thank you," Dayla said emotionlessly, feigning a smile.
Without warning, she launched herself at them. The voice of reason ordered her to stop, it told her that she was not strong enough to take them all, but she didn't care. Anakin's transparent image floated before her inner eye, as she swirled her weapon in every direction. She didn't know what she was fighting – were it the droids, or was she trying to vanquish the numbness within her?
With a loud clang, the last droid fell onto the ground. Dayla deactivated her blade and walked up the screeching stairs. She reached a durasteel door, and opened it, calling on the Force. Dayla wandered into a large, dimly-lit hall. The stench of death and derelidiction was particularly strong here.
A man was standing in the middle, his scarlet lightsaber humming menacingly in the eerie quietness. Dayla couldn't help but gasp at his striking resemblance with Anakin. He was tall, with dark blonde hair and blue eyes. Only his eyes were icy cold and deserted, and waked a feeling of dread in her. The Force was very strong with him, but he was enveloped in an impenetrable black cloud that devoured all the light – the complete opposite to Anakin's glowing Force presence. Dayla understood immediately who this man was. Taren Meeda, one of the most dangerous and twisted Dark Jedi.
"Taren Meeda, you are under arrest," Dayla said calmly. She had no fear or disgust towards this man. In fact, she felt nothing at all, only cold, dead numbness that seemed to consume her entire life energy.
Taren sneered. "Say please," he said mockingly. He took a step towards her, and the sound of metal hitting the beton erupted in the hall.
"Where is Senator Amidala?"
"Oh, she is safe, for the time being. Once her husband rushes in, things may change," he said maliciously, an aura of cold triumph around him.
Dayla ignited her weapon. "Don't make me hurt you," she said evenly. She knew that she didn't stand a chance against him, but fear had long abandoned her. What did she have to be afraid of? Death? Death was only a part of a life circle. But rotting in loneliness, neither dead nor truly alive, seeing Anakin living happily with another woman – it was a fate she couldn't bear to live.
Taren moved to her. He had no flesh limbs…
"Admitting the work of your beloved?" he asked her, the tone of his voice mock gentle.
"You got what you deserved," Dayla spat through gritted teeth. She swung her blade and aimed for the Dark Jedi's ribs, but her strike was effortlessly blocked.
"By the way, where is Skywalker?" Taren asked casually, kicking her hard into the stomach. Dayla staggered backwards.
"He is on his way," she said evenly, resuming the fight and parrying a blow.
"Why isn't he here to back you up?" Taren asked with mock curiosity. Their blades clashed, and they held steady, gazing at each other. Taren laughed in cold delight.
"It seems that Skywalker doesn't care if you are alive or dead. He doesn't need you, and he never did."
Dayla blinked, and, seizing a moment, Taren hit her roughly on the jaw. She fell under the force of the blow, and her cheek swelled immediately. Dayla admitted reluctantly that his metallic fist was very strong. She stood up and attacked again.
"You ache for him, don't you?" Taren asked, passing a savage blow that missed her shoulder by inches. "I can feel your little heart longing for him, your feeble Force signature radiating with mad love. It is disgusting."
"You could never understand it," Dayla said quietly. "You have never loved and you were never loved in return."
Neither was I.
Her lightsaber arm trembled, and Taren sliced right through it. With a sickening thud, an arm still gripping the weapon, fell onto the floor. Dayla dropped on her knees, clutching a stump. Taren walked to her and held his blade across her chest.
"You are just a girl who doesn't want to live," he said emotionlessly.
For a fraction of second, Dayla believed to see his eyes flashing with pity, but then he raised his weapon, and she felt a hot, throbbing pain in her abdomen.
Anakin! She cried silently, and then everything went black.
A/N: As always, the more reviews I get, the sooner I'll update! If you liked it, I'm really curious to know what you liked about it . If you didn't like it, I would appreciate it if you told me what I can improve about the chapter. :)
In theory, I should be getting at least twenty reviews per chapter, because many of you have put it on the alert or on the favourites list. I'm flattered that so many of you read it, and I'm truly grateful for it. :) Just...would it be so hard to drop a review? If you do the math, reading a chapter takes five to ten minutes, and writing a review maybe two or three. It's not that hard, is it::grins:
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!