A oneshot in honor of both Thanksgiving and Shelly's canon birthday. I know that I already wrote a Thanksgiving chapter that technically takes place during the same calendar year (Chapter 50/Family), but would it really be South Park without a timeloop or continuity issues?

Most teenagers, even the moodiest ones, tended to wake up in good moods on their birthdays.

Shelly Marsh, however, was not most teenagers. Most teenagers didn't have birthdays that fell on a major holiday every few years, after all. And most teenagers didn't hate Thanksgiving with the passion of a thousand fiery suns.

At least I'll get my breakfast, she thought to herself. Sharon always made special breakfasts for her family on their birthdays.

The possibility of her mother's famous chocolate chip pancakes, accompanied by a wrapped present afterwards was enough motivation to get Shelly out of bed. She sleepily stumbled downstairs and into the kitchen.

"You're on your own today for breakfast, kids," a harried Sharon informed her children. "I still need to baste the turkey and make the sweet potato casserole and get the pies in the oven."

"Wait, what?" Shelly protested "But Mom, today is -"

"I know, it's Thanksgiving. And between dinner and doing inventory for your dad's Thanksgiving special, I'm swamped. You kids are going to have to pour your own cereal and make your own toast today."

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Shelly prodded.

Sharon's eyes widened. "Oh my God, the cranberry sauce!" She grabbed her purse and rushed to the door. "I'm going to see if there are any cans left at the mini mart. Make sure that Towelie stays away from the oven!"

Shelly glowered at her brother across the table, as he obliviously chomped away at his Pop Tart. As usual, the turd didn't know how good he had it. His birthday fell on the perfect date: not on any major holidays and just far enough away from Halloween that it didn't overshadow his big day.

Stan looked up from his breakfast, only to be met with his sister's death glare. "Uh, hi Shelly," he said cautiously, not wanting to incur her wrath.

"Don't you have anything to say to me, turd?!" Shelly demanded, pounding the table with her fist.

"Uh... Happy Thanksgiving?"

"GOD!" Shelly slammed her glass down on the table and stormed off, leaving behind a very confused Stan.

Shelly seethed as her family helped themselves to the Thanksgiving feast spread out before them. Her stupid dad, her disappointing mom, her coddled turd of a brother, her fossil of a grandfather, her drunken fatass uncle and his appendage, Ned. And then there was the stupid towel. Not a single one of them had acknowledged her birthday. She hated them all.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Randy exclaimed, nearly choking on his beer.

Shelly looked up earnestly. Was this it? Was she finally going to get her present?

"We never went around the table saying what we're thankful for!"

Shelly sank back into her seat.

"I of course am thankful for this bountiful harvest. The Thanksgiving special was a big hit!"

"I'm thankful for my beautiful family."

"I guess I'm thankful for the Broncos and Warhammer. And Kyle."

"I'm thankful that I'm getting closer to death by the second!"

"Well, I'm thankful for Pabst Blue Ribbon and the new Nosler M21 rifle! Oh, and ol' Neddy, of course."

"Mhhm, I'm thankful that I survived ManBearPig, mhhm."

"I... man, I have no idea what's going on. Heh."

Shelly's family looked at her expectantly.

She could only see red. "I'm thankful that four years from now, I'll be old enough to move out and never see anyone in this stupid family ever again!" She shoved her chair away from the table and stomped up to her room.

"Do you want to tell me what that was all about?" Sharon asked her daughter sternly.

"NO!" bellowed Shelly. It didn't bother her one bit that she sounded like a petulant toddler.

"I've had it with these outbursts, young lady! I know that being thirteen is hard, but -"

"I'm fourteen now!"

A multitude of emotions crossed Sharon's face: confusion, guilt, and finally, horrified realization.

"Oh my God. Sweetheart, I'm so sorry." To her credit, Sharon looked like she was about to cry. "With Thanksgiving and your dad's special, we've all just been so busy. I promise, we'll celebrate next weekend. You can pick out anything that you want."

"I just need to be alone for awhile," Shelly grumbled.

Sharon merely nodded at that. She kissed her daughter on the forehead and quietly left the room.

She must have dozed off for a couple of hours, because the next thing she knew, she was being shaken awake.

"Come on, Shelly! It's time to go!"

Shelly didn't bother getting her hopes up this time. Her dad was probably the last person who would go all out for her birthday.

"Go where?" Shelly whined.

"I need all hands on deck! It's time for my early Black Friday special! People are already lining up downtown! Up and at 'em, kiddo!"

"No! You can't make me!"

Randy raised an eyebrow. "No, I can't make you. But I can change the wifi password. It might get pretty boring around here for you pretty quickly."

Shelly sighed and wearily followed her father out of her room.

Just when she thought that her birthday couldn't get any worse, the temperature dropped twenty degrees.

Of course, that didn't deter her dad's stupid customers, who were lined up around the block.

Shelly shivered next to her brother in the bed of her dad's truck. All of her extremities were going numb. Naturally, her dad didn't keep any blankets handy.

Shelly was so busy trying to stay warm that she failed to hear the sound of approaching footsteps crunching through the snow.

"Hey," a familiar voice drawled.

A startled Shelly looked up to find Kevin McCormick standing next to the truck.

"Oh. Hey, turd," Shelly glumly greeted her longtime friend. She was even less in the mood for pleasantries than usual.

Kevin fidgeted nervously. "I was - I jus' wanted -"

"Spit it out, turd!" Shelly snapped. Kevin was probably the only living person on the planet that she had any modicum of patience for, but she had officially reached her limit today.

"I wanted to give this to you. Ya know, since it's yer birthday and all." Kevin thrust a small package into Shelly's hands. "I know that you can't have a lot of candy on account of yer headgear, but I know you can have these and I ain't got much money and... anyways, happy birthday."

Shelly stared at the Hershey's bar that she had just received. It was squashed and half melted. The lettering on the label was starting to wear off, almost as if it had been sitting in Kevin's pocket for weeks.

It was one of the most thoughtful gifts that she had ever received.

"Thanks, turd." Shelly swiped at her eyes.

That damn freezing wind was making her eyes water.

I just want to say that I hate, hate, HATE angst for the sake of angst. Shelly's family was just too caught up in the hustle and bustle of Thanksgiving. They didn't maliciously forget her birthday.