Replies: (This section just keeps getting bigger and bigger, making the word count go higher on the chapter...)
Arndis: Now, why ruin a perfectly good computer? Naturally we'd have to disinfect it because of the Mary Sue germs, but other than that and peeling all the Orlando Bloom stickers off of it, it'd be perfectly fine. Then again... who would want to USE it?
BlackRosePoison-Orchid: Aren't we all... and what story is that, mate?
Slayer3: ONLY sabotage? Nonsense! I'm planning... something... I just haven't figured it out. I'm completely winging this chapter; I don't think I have any ideas whatsoever as to what I'll write in it...
RoonilWazlib42: You wanna see gagging? Watch me while I write these chapters. Absolutely horrid work, I tell you. You know, I like a good romance, (not on fanfiction, though) but this kind... oh... gag... it's so GROSS. Yeah, I wish MY parents would buy me that stuff...
SpaceRoses: Like I said, I don't blame you at all.
Cowgirl4Christ: Oh... the conversation... can't wait to write that!!!
Psalm 136: I know! I LOVE writing about her character! So fun!
salendola: Poor Lindsey, poor ME...
MademoiselleSilver: Well, I'm sure she'll save us all.
Zelscar: I know! Sanity is so wonderful! Oh, that's just her being the typical Sue. Well, actually, I don't know if that's exactly what she IS doing right now, as I really don't have the guts to peruse any one of the many MS stories out there... don't worry, though, we'll be seeing her doing some interesting things in the future.
Bullseye-Fanatic: Well, 1. I'm pretty much already crazy, so no danger of the loony bin. How I've managed to stay alive is beyond me. And I don't think I could ever kill someone... characters, sure, but not PEOPLE. Give them a good slap in the face, a nice two hour long lecture about the evils of fangirlism, etc etc etc. Oh, and no murder in this story. Possible character death. :) I'm going to have soooooo much fun when I... oh, wait! Can't give the story away! Mwahaha... I have SO much planned...
Fili: Oh, no. Bad Fili. BAD. No killing. It's a sin. Just imagine that you HAVE all that stuff. Go to your happy place. MY happy place is usually either somewhere in Middle-earth, or in a room filled with LOTR stuff. Not that I actually HAVE a room like that, but still... I'm planning on staying alive till I finish the story. Then I'll probably die.
Lailonniel(From Chapter 3, in case you read up to here): Thanks for reviewing! This is the only story I can remember that was in-progress that I picked up reviewers in the middle of it. Glad to be making you laugh!
Unfortunately, Chapter 8 In This Never-Ending Cliche Romance Fest
Gag Me With A Spoon
When I die, I'm sure my epitaph or whatever those things you call that they write on your headstones will read: 'Here lies Princess of Ithilien. Beloved daughter, sister, and fanfiction author. Cause of death: Writing a fake Mary Sue Story.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes.
Chapter 8
It seems that Rebecca Maria was simply not destined to be happy tonight. She was still extremely unhappy, and it was all that Lindsey's fault. After Lindsey had taken her stuff up, Rebecca had been forced to wash the dishes, of all things, so that she couldn't follow her cousin upstairs to make sure nothing happened to her room.
The dish soap was simply ruining her perfectly manicured nails, and her hands felt dryer than ever. She crinkled her nose in disgust as she half-heartedly scrubbed at a dirty dish. This cleaning stuff was not her job! She was much too pretty to be stuck in the kitchen doing all the dirty work, while her family were out there chatting with the relations.
Well, it was better than being stuck in a stupid family memory session. No doubt about it, her parents were pulling out the pictures from vacations and ceremonies and stuff. Rebecca rolled her eyes. Parents were so weird that way.
Upstairs, Lindsey was contemplating her options, playing with the Ring dangling from the chain around her neck. She looked nervously over at the computer, as if at any moment it might jump up and attack her with bad Mary Sue writing.
She looked away quickly, then decided. She had to destroy it. She had to! For the well being of everyone! Herself, her cousin, all those poor people of fanfiction!
With a decisive nod, she rose and made her way back to the computer. She sat down and opened the document, and without a hint of regret, erased it. She then browsed through the other documents until she found the rest of the disgusting story, and promptly erased those.
And just as she was about to pop open the recycle bin so she could destroy them once and for all, she heard a gasp behind her.
"What do you think you are doing?" Rebecca's high-pitched voice filled the room.
"I'm erasing the garbage you call a literary work!" Lindsey called over her shoulder, opening the recycle bin and scanning the contents for Rebecca's story.
Suddenly, the chair was being pulled away from the desk, and Rebecca was on top of her, hammering her with her fists, clawing her face with her manicured nails, even spitting on her.
"Get off of me! Get off!" Lindsey screamed, trying to push Rebecca off.
The chair toppled to the ground and that is how the adults found them; Rebecca on top of Lindsey, hitting and spitting on her, Lindsey screaming for help.
Quickly Rebecca's parents pulled her away and shot a menacing glare at their niece. "What did you do to her?"
Lindsey pointed to herself. "Me? I didn't do anything! She just attacked me!"
"Sh-she was d-d-destroying my st-story!" Sobbed Rebecca Maria, clinging to her parents as the tears rolled down her cheeks.
"I think we'd better leave," Lindsey's parents told them. Her father grabbed her duffel bag and led his wife and daughter out of the Orlando Bloom-infested room.
After a few more tears, it was discovered that Rebecca was all right, and her parents left her alone in her room to recover.
"Such a hateful child!" They said of Lindsey, shaking their heads. They'd always known she was a bad seed, what with that strange obsession with Lord of the Rings and all that. But their Rebecca was such a perfect child! They were so lucky!
In her room, Rebecca was smiling. Her plan had worked! Well, she hadn't actually planned on Lindsey trying to destroy her story; she hadn't even thought about the fact that her cousin might discover it.
"She's just jealous, 'cause she can't write and I can." Rebecca said to herself with a triumphant sniff and a toss of her hair. In reality, Lindsey was a very popular canon writer on Fanfiction, with the Lord of the Rings being her fandom of choice, obviously.
Rebecca Maria smiled and giggled to herself as she started typing up the new chapter. "She can't stop me! No, she can't!"
Chapter 7
Faith was in pain. So much pain! Where was it coming from? She couldn't tell. It seemed to be coming from everywhere. Her arms, her legs, her stomach, even her hair hurt.
She groaned softly and tried to sit up, but her hands were bound. Her lips opened to form the name 'Legolas' but the name caught in her throat.
Just a short distance from where she was laying, she could see orcs talking in their language. She couldn't understand it. The Orc language was just too evil for Faith to want to know how to speak.
Where was Legolas? Where was she? She didn't know. The last thing she remembered was... wait, what did she remember? She had been camping, then kissing Legolas, then... the orcs! The orcs attacked them! And she was trying to run, but she fell off... and Sweetness ran away!
So! The Orcs had taken her hostage! Where was Legolas? Why wasn't he there, saving her?
As if in answer to her thoughts, one of the orcs was pierced with an arrow, then another and another. Soon all the orcs in the little band lay dead, and Faith could see a rider in the distance. She tried to turn her head, but she had no energy.
"Faith... Faith! Faith, my love, are you all right?" Legolas's soft, Elvish voice came to her ears, floating through them and bringing her joy.
She felt the ropes binding her hands being cut, then Legolas gently lifting her in his arms. He kissed her softly on the temple, tears streaming down his face with the joy of knowing she was all right.
Faith wearily lifted a hand to his cheek, wiping away his tears, kissing him softly. "I'm all right, Legolas. I am."
He lifted her into the saddle and mounted behind her, keeping a firm arm around her small waist.
"I saw Sweetness running, I saw you fall... I didn't know what was happening! I was so afraid... then they took you, but I was trapped, I couldn't come after you immediately."
Faith half turned and pressed gentle fingers against his lips.
"Everything turned out all right."
Their lips joined together in the passionate kiss that is the trademark of two people madly in love.
Rebecca lifted a hand to her heart and sighed happily as she finished up the chapter with some quick replies to reviewers. That would show her snotty cousin!
Little did Rebecca know, Lindsey was far from gone, and she was far from forgetting what evil things her own cousin was writing. In a nearby hotel room, she was thinking, feverishly trying to find a way to get rid of the story once and for all.
A/N: This chapter is a little shorter than I planned, but I think it turned out good all the same. GAG ME with the little bits between Legolas and Faith... oh... it makes me SOOOOOO sick to write that kind of junk! I can barely make my fingers type all that disgusting gush!