Disclaimer: Mutter mutter. You know how it goes.

Dedication: This chapter shall be dedicated to Starbucks. Long may it live.

–moment of silence—

Hyde A/N: Hmm, I haven't had Starbucks since that Mocha Frappuccino (oh dear I probably did NOT spell that right) in the beginning of May. Ah sweet memories.

Ugh, I hate mosquitoes. So annoying. Well, the bites especially. Grr.

Enough chitchat. Moving on. Wow, I'm super surprised that the spell check didn't yell at me about chitchat. I guess it's an official and well established word. Cool.

………………

Amon draped Touko on the examination table and retreated to a corner, watching the doctor with an absent Sullen Stare as he examined the unconscious Touko.

"You, ah, did, er, anything seem to cause this?" the doctor inquired nervously.

"A cat." Amon muttered abruptly.

"A cat? Ah, hmm, that's…interesting. What kind of cat?"

"A white…kitten." Amon almost choked trying to force the very un-macho word "kitten" out of his mouth.

"Ah, what exactly, happened?"

"She saw it. She fainted. She woke up. She saw it. She fainted. Revived her with Bepsi. She saw it and fainted. Woke up again, saw it, fainted."

"Hmm, er, Bepsi…ah, well, um, thank you, that was quite, to the point…" here he trailed off as the Sullen Stare intensified slightly, as if to say, it would be nice if you would do the same, my good fellow. Well, maybe not the "my good fellow" part.

"Er, so she saw the cat and, uh, fainted?"

A Sullen Glare Which Firmly Chastises All Doctors Who Ask Stupid Questions In Nervous Stuttering Voices And Have Difficulties Getting To The Point answered him.

"Ah, hm, well, it sounds like she's either allergic to cats(which is unlikely given that such things usually induce sneezing, runny nose, itching, watery eyes,…and, ah, such) or cuteness."

"Is that a 'joke,'" Amon inquired darkly.

"No no no, um, it's been known, in rare cases, quite similar to this one, I ah happen to have studied the subject in medical school, in a class about rare diseases and disorders…" Here a Sullen Glare veered him back on topic. "Erm, anyway, there's really nothing you can do about it except keep her away from anything extremely cute…" the doctor attempted to smile but it turned into a nervous tic.

"Mutter," said Amon, intending perhaps some form of thanks. The doctor choked and made some sort of gargling noise in his throat, perhaps intended to mean "um…you're welcome."

The doctor quickly revived Touko with some smelling salts and they were on their way.

………………

After briefing Robin on Touko's condition, Amon headed for home. Cream Puff greeted him by cutely and innocently knocking the bag of kitten food onto the floor. Amon merely blinked, wondering how she'd gotten out from under the box.

He plopped down on the couch. For that matter, where was the box? He found a few shreds of cardboard on the floor, but they didn't add up to a whole box. He began to nose around and found pieces of it under the couch, then under the table, then under the refrigerator, and under practically every piece of furniture he owned. There were also renegade shreds upon the television, in the sink, and in the shower. Amon looked and her.

"Mewrow!" she said sweetly.

"Mutter," he said wondrously.

"Mewk," she replied, as if to say 'just doing my duty.'

Cream Puff then disappeared into the bedroom. Relieved of her presence, Amon turned on the television, with which she tended to converse when present.

A few moments later something landed on his head and he heard a proud "Mrrrew!" in his left ear. He brushed it off and a partially disemboweled mouse landed next to him on the couch.

"Mrrowow," said Cream Puff to the television, pressing her little pink nose against it.

Amon strode macho-ly to the bathroom and vomited.

…………………

As Amon was rinsing out his mouth, his communicator beeped. It was Robin.

"Amon, Touko's disappeared! Please come now, I'll explain later."

Amon dashed for the door, nearly tripping over Cream Puff three times and nearly landing on the disemboweled mouse, which set off a round of queasiness. He fought down the nausea and stepped on the gas pedal.

………………

Amon muttered as he struggled though the note in his hand.

"Robin,

"Alas for this day! Never again shall I be able to behold cuteness, for it is hazardous to mine health. Alas! What is life without adorableness to break the bleak night of a world of witches and conspiracy and cheap tequila? Bid thou for me farewell to mine Amon. Though he may try his best to break the bleak night he be not cute or comforting, merely a presence strong and enigmatic. Even he cannot save me. Therefore I flee from the bleak night! Whereto, thou inquirest. And well thou mightest. But look for me not, on the lone prairieeeeeee! Oh wait, that is "bury me not." Well, bury thou me not on the lone prairie either, but among things of light and cuteness. Methinks I stray from mine subject. Search for me not, for I have fled and fallen, for my life is a dark, dank and meaningless waste. Do not try to help me, for I fled so that thou mightest not help me, oh helpfulest of Robins, I desire not help but only despair and cold numbing darkness. Give Daddy mine love,

"Touko"

"Does this mean something?" Amon inquired.

"Not much except that she has given up hope and wants to be left alone to live out the lonely years of her life without cuteness," Robin replied.

"Oh. What does cheap tequila have anything to do with it?"

Robin shrugged. "She must have been so far gone she was rambling. We have to find her."

"I should notify Zaizen."

"Perhaps it would be best if he didn't know. Perhaps we can find her first. She couldn't have been gone for more than 45 minutes when I returned from the store."

"Grunt," Amon said, imparting nothing.

"The fact that she left a note at all is probably a cry for help."

"I thought she didn't want help."

"Just because she said it doesn't mean she means it."

"Grunt," said Amon more confused than he had been in a very long time.

"Come on, let's ask around," she said, pulling on her long overcoat.

"Mutter," said Amon, meaning "I'll drive."

…………………

I am very proud to announce that the real Cream Puff the impossibly adorable white kitten is now the proud mother of three kittens of her own, one of which is an impossibly adorable white miniature of herself with the addition of two little black flecks on its forehead. Ais may attest to the extreme cuteness of the kittens, as she has seen them herself. At this point they mostly squirm around on top of each other, eat, and sleep. The Real Cream Puff is very proud of herself and is not defensive of her kitties at all, so one can approach them all one wants.

I get to have liver for lunch today! Yay! I love liver! It makes me happy!

May a schizophrenic butcher never attempt to cut your steaks with an antique guillotine,

Hyde

PS: Yes! I spelled schizophrenic and guillotine right on the first try!

Aisnote: The White Kitten of Cream Puff looks very much like Tama from Kamichu!, Yurie's cat/poverty god. I can attest to this, too.