Chapter 32: Forever
A/N: Only one chapter left of domestic bliss while on vacation for our two birds! Sorry this chapter took so long to write. It's way longer than I intended it to be but regardless, the chapter is essentially the calm before the gigantic, consequential storm. Things are about to get dicey from here on out and even I'm anxious because I know everyone is going to be clutching their pearls. So be sure to enjoy this lovely dovey chapter so you can be prepared for the mess that's coming next chapter.
xxxxXXXXxxxx
To your great relief, the following daybreak consisted of a notably cool, misty forenoon. With little to no winds and a dewy coating of condensation saturating the visible grass. The snow had hidden most of the surrounding nature and only minimal parts of land were actually discernible. In a way it left you perplexed. You hadn't experienced weather so up and down in such a short time frame and it was kind of hard to believe that the surrounding area was covered entirely in a thick sheet of white sleet a couple of days ago.
The sky was mostly clear of clouds, emitting suitable sunlight and warmth for the morning. There's a steady chill in the air but certainly not too intolerable to handle. Being that the both of you were bundled up enough for the cool air not to have much of an effect.
More than once, you'd been told that around dawn was supposedly the best time to go fishing.
Nonetheless, the tranquility of the early morning allowed for pleasant ambiance between you and the surrounding wilderness. From your understanding, there's a tiny pond located in the back of the cabin but apparently that wasn't where you'd be fishing. To your great surprise, John led you to a dock a little ways away from the cabin that wasn't at all visible through the tree line.
Fishing during the winter wasn't exactly ideal but it was very possible under the right circumstances. An overwhelming majority of people would prefer to engage in outdoor activity in the spring or summer months.
Thinking back, there were a number of times where you woke up asking about your father's whereabouts only for your mother to explain that he'd left before the sun even came up. You never got the significance until now. Frankly, you thought it was stupid since the fish would still in the water even if he departed during the evening hours. It wasn't like they had anywhere to be. Apparently, early mornings made the difference between snagging active, hungry than doing so later in the day.
Poised directly over the freshwater lake was a thin fog that you expected would disperse within an hour or two. Despite this, sunlight reflected brightly off the surface of the murky blue water. The water was calm enough that it almost appeared totally still.
Growing up, you hadn't indulged in many outdoor activities like this. But as an adult, you've become more willing to try new things.
"It's been quite some time since I've done this." John's even tone spoke matter of factly. "Fishing regulations are complicated. Typically a person would need a license to do so in Belgium."
One of your brows rose in question. "So we're technically breaking the law?"
"It wouldn't be the first." He nonchalantly commented.
Well. He had a point. The man's occupation literally consisted entirely of organized crime - hell he's probably engaged in more crimes than you could ever conceptualize. He probably thought nothing of breaking the law.
"Be sure to stay back a reasonable distance from the water." John advised as you both settled along the wooden berk.
"Okay." You replied, scooting back a fraction from the edge.
Among the fishing equipment procured from town, were two poles and a small plastic container, the contents of which weren't known to you. He took the lid off the container and your skin immediately started to crawl. Normally, you wouldn't consider yourself to be a squeamish person but bugs and worms tended to bring out that side of you to the point where you had to make a genuine effort to suppress the urge to gag at the sight of them.
They just gave you the ick really badly. And it's for this reason alone that you tend to avoid all creepy crawly things.
"Do we have to use those?" You asked, recoiling in disgust.
He set about putting together both the poles in an adept manner and you immediately realized that he'd done it before. Probably many times. You did however, have to look away when he expertly placed the wiggling bait on the end of the hook.
"Live bait is more practical and more enticing than a single lure."
Inwardly, you decided that he would be in charge of placing the bait simply because you didn't have it in you to touch a single worm. With that it went without saying that you had a strong reluctance when it came to dealing with them.
"Um…can you-" You asked sheepishly, eyes cutting to the canister of slithering creatures.
John, having understood this, tacitly took your rod and attached the bait to the hook before handing it back to you. "In some cases, most would not require the use of live bait but we have to take the season into consideration. We'll need an incentive for the fish to come to the surface."
Once he handed you the fishing rod, he demonstrated how it should be held and what positions your hands should be in. "Watch."
You blinked curiously, hanging onto his every word and instruction.
He casted his line out properly the first time, only reeling it back in slightly until he deemed it within a reasonable distance. It looked pretty touch and go.
Feeling somewhat emboldened and having paid attention, you tried to follow suit only to fail. On the first attempt, the cable had gotten tangled together, on the second try the hook had gotten caught on a low hanging branch and John had to safely retrieve it. All in all, it took you upwards of three times before you actually got the hook in the water. From there you fully expected a catch within catch something instantly only to be let down when nearly twenty minutes passed and there was no activity.
John assured you when you inquired about it but it didn't quell your concerns. Sadly, you'd already concluded that this wasn't as exciting as you hoped it would be and you couldn't help but feel slightly impatient with how long it was taking.
"Do you know what the most common mistake people make while fishing? Being impatient." John remarks. "In the beginning, it's common to wait long periods of time before getting a single bite. In an activity like this patience is usually the name of the game. You can't will a fish to come and you can't rush the process. It will happen in its own time, be it in five minutes or an hour but it will come."
"Where's all the fish anyway? Are they…sleeping?." It was a strange question to ask and you almost felt embarrassed to ask seeing as you didn't actually know if fish had the ability to sleep.
"During the winter months they tend to favor the bottom of the lake where it's warmer." He assured.
So he could read the surface of water in a way that he wouldn't be able to depending on the underwater visibility. It's impressive and intriguing. Considering that he's making all these observations, you can guess that each is just as important when it comes to actually getting the fish to bite. It shouldn't be that surprising that he knew of proper fishing etiquette.
It's the kind of analytical approach that you fully would expect someone like him to take. Honestly, you didn't think fishing was this complicated. There was so much to consider, types of bait, currents, time stamps, and when and where to fish.
"Hmm. You know so much about this. Did someone else teach you?"
"Oftentimes, many life skills are learned out of necessity and others out of curiosity."
If that truly was the case then you wondered which one applied to him in this circumstance.
"Most of what I know is knowledge acquired over the years."
"Have you ever been camping before?" You queried keenly.
"Yes." He muttered distantly.
"That's nice. I've never been camping."
"Why is that?"
"I'm black." You shrugged.
As you understood it, that was the only exploration you felt was needed. You didn't think that was strange. Never once had you thought about wanting to pack a bag and spend a few nights in the woods.
"How informative."
Not only afterwards, John's line began moving frantically - a positive indicator that something was caught on it. You watched the water ripple and crease frenziedly. Instinctively, something was trying to get free, scrambling in every direction.
Through the exchange, John remained calm and fully engrossed in what was taking place. With his hands positioned and poised, he began the standard procedure of ensnaring the prize. Your attention was rapt at the proceedings, watching it play out. He retracted the line a few inches before reeling some of it back in. He constantly repeated the process a number of times, with each resulting in the prey being pulled in closer and closer each time. The method was utilized to exhaust the tackle gradually, making it easier to reel in. In your opinion, it's a perfectly logical and genius method of fishing.
The fishing shows on the nature channel made it look so intense and dramatic. Like a life or death situation with everything on the line if that one fish doesn't get reeled in. Waiting in suspense for what seemed like an eternity, your lover successfully reeled in a flailing fish.
The scaly creature flogged about on the fishing line and was understandably struggling to breathe, gills arching and collapsing steadily. During this, you took the time to observe its appearance. The fish was decently-sized, with brownish-yellow scales
"What kind of fish is that?" You asked.
"Common carp."
After a bit more inspection, the catch was tossed back into the trepid waters unscathed where it quickly disappeared.
Oh. Was it really that easy?
"What do you call that? When you catch it and throw it back like that?"
"Catch and release."
Over the start of the activity, John had managed to snag three decently-sized aquatic inhabitants before you even managed to secure a single one. John only kept the catches long enough for them not to die before throwing them back. From the manner in which he did so, it appeared that it was a process that he was very familiar and proficient in.
Anxiousness started to flare in the center of your chest. Why hadn't you caught anything?
"Keep trying." He softly encouraged.
You tried to take his advice, you really did, but you were two seconds away from giving up and throwing in the towel. Just as your mind made its decision, your pole suddenly jerked with unexpected movement. Adrenaline fueled focus and determination immediately kicked into gear. The pole bent slightly at odd angles with jerky movements and you struggled to maintain your grip.
You allowed him to get the fish off the hook, having still not built up the courage to actually touch or hold the still breathing wiggling fish.
"Would you like me to help?"
"No. I need to learn by myself. I wanna be able to catch my first one without any help. If you do it. It's like you're doing it for me. I wouldn't count."
John's dark brows lifted a fraction before he turned his gaze back to the open water. "As you wish."
John silently continued to watch the proceeding closely, not offering to help or assist you in any way. He was respecting your wishes and allowing you to learn by way of experience.
"Reel it in…slowly as such." Your lover's words echoed in your mind.
Remembering what he'd done just minutes before, your mind reenacted every single step you'd seen. You maintained a steady but firm grip on the reel, circling it furiously but easing up and repeating the process.
"Well done."
Happiness bloomed in the center of your chest. This is the very first fish you've ever caught.
This one appeared much bigger than the three fish John caught and it looked somewhat different as well. Like the ones before it, it wiggled and squirmed in a distressed fashion. Only this one was longer than the previous ones caught - not to mention golden brown in color with a long dorsal fin and forked tail fin. You turned to John handing him the pole for inspection, still too apprehensive to actually take it off the hook. Sitting his own pole aside, he carefully took the fish and removed the hook from the it's mouth.
You stood by anxiously as John courteously examined the latest catch. "This one appears to be a cod. One of the larger species residing in lakes such as this." He glanced at you in subtle reverence. "Quite impressive."
"Oh my gosh! I'm so happy!" You squealed, jumping up and down. "For a minute I thought I wouldn't catch anything. I can't believe it. My first fish just so happens to be one of the bigger fish in the whole lake!"
"Can I hold it?" You quietly asked.
You don't know what made you want to hold it all of a sudden. For all you know, it was the newfound feeling of elation that trampled over your trepidation but you couldn't say for certain.
A defined brow lifted in bemused question.
Wordlessly, the man handed the fish toward you. You found your teeth gritting as the fish slid into your hands. The scales aren't exactly soft but they're not hard either. There's something you didn't know…fish felt like wet sandpaper. That's a fact you could now lock into your subconscious memory.
It felt unextraordinary strange - to hold a slippery, water-dwelling creature with fins. You were transfixed. The entire experience produced such an exhilarating feeling.
You didn't know how long you held the aquatic vertebrae, you weren't even aware of how long you held it until John's cultured baritone cut into the air. "Milaya, you have to throw it back soon or it will die."
Oh yeah.
Of course, you didn't want it to die, you just found it a little sad that you had to part with it so quickly. This was a special milestone for you after all.
With a newfound determination and confidence, you cast out your fishing line zealously. "I'm gonna try and catch another one."
In a span of an hour, you managed to reel in four more fish. Your strategy was to use one than one worm on the hook at a time. This went on until you eventually ran out of worms to use and John had to venture back to the cabin to retrieve the spare bait. With him gone, you were left on the dock, waiting patiently for him to come back. Being left alone didn't bother you, seeing as the man was only going to be gone for a brief time. You just used the time to observe the surrounding area. On both sides of the lake was nothing but dense forest to the extent that you could hardly see past the dense growth of trees.
While you're in no way a forest enthusiast, you couldn't help but wonder what the inside of the lush forest looked like. Why you'd gotten the sudden urge to traverse a forest on your lonesome, you'd never be able to figure out. Instead of ignoring the urge, you reasoned internally that you wouldn't be gone long and you'd just have a quick peek before John came back. He'd never even know you left.
Walking along an unfamiliar path of the landscape within the expansive forest, you can hear the rustling of the wind between the tall timbers. Most of the trees were left sparse and bare without leaves or harvest colors decorating its branches. But despite that, that one aspect didn't stop you from appreciating the picturesque scene. You can see areas where the grass and brush would grow abundantly with leafy vegetation. Despite the reduced evergreen and flora, you still found beauty in the tall aging oak trees and fallen twigs. You could only imagine how pretty it looked in the spring and summer seasons.
The woodlands were much more vast than you previously thought. Winter displayed another kind of splendor comprising nature. Although you weren't a 'frolic in the meadow' kind of girl, you found yourself heavily rethinking it.
Venturing further through the brush, you carefully stepped over fallen twigs and stumps. Instead of hearing the crunch of leaves, your weather boots only made soft, barely distinguishable noises on the soggy earth. This forest that you carefully walked into undoubtedly housed an entire ecosystem of plants and animals.
Bypassing dusky reduced shrubby, you inhaled the cool air, smelling nothing but damp tree pine and earth.
Having lived there for most of your life, New York was at best described as a concrete jungle. It wasn't often that you got a chance to observe nature of this magnitude. Unless you lived out in the countryside somewhere, you weren't likely to see many forests. You saw this as a rare opportunity for exploration.
Now that you've wandered some distance inside, you can see how easy it is to get lost in a forest when every way virtually looks exactly the same. It's because of this that you didn't want to venture out too far. Admittedly, the area wasn't very lively.
You froze in your pathless exploration, heart dropping in an alarming fashion. The last thing you expected was to see any animals roaming around. You're just grateful it was a deer and not a whole ass bear because then your soul would have to vacate your body immediately. Ostensibly, you didn't make any further movement to get closer, citing the ingrained black instinct you were born with.
Truthfully, you thought that most animals hibernated around this time of year so coming across the sight made for quite the shock. From what little you know about them, deer typically scatter when they encounter humans but this particular deer - it chose to stand four hooves down and it probably had something to do with her baby being present. The fawn remained extremely close to its mother, never being any more than a few inches from her.
Honestly, you could respect that. A mother will stand in the literal face of death to protect and defend her offspring. Even you knew that without being a mother yourself. Most wild animals, typically mothers, were very defensive and protective of their babies.
The big glossy eyes of the large deer stared at you from across the clearing. Had it not been for the smaller antlers, you might've mistaken it for a reindeer. It wasn't that big but that didn't mean it wasn't dangerous. If she decided you were a threat then there wasn't much you could do to defend yourself against her. You weren't and would never be tough enough to square up with a deer.
The smaller mammal a near replica of its parent. It couldn't be any more than a few weeks to a month old. With its spotted brown coat of fur, you found it difficult not to compare it to Bambi. You thought it was the cutest thing. Although you had a fondness for animals, that didn't mean you wouldn't regard them cautiously. You didn't want to risk getting stumped out for roaming too close to her baby.
An unknown feeling settled inside of you at that moment - the strange feeling emitted deep from the pit of your stomach to be exact. For some odd reason, it felt highly unusual watching the mammal interact with its fawn. While you didn't have children, you imagined the love for one's own child was intense, even when it came to animals. Recalling what you'd been told from actual mothers, the feeling was unexplainable. Overall, the scene left you feeling quite…peculiar for lack of a better word.
Nonetheless, you pushed the eerie feeling aside - not wanting to breathe any further life into it and ruining the beautiful moment by acknowledging how weird you felt.
The maternal deer observed you for a few more seconds before moving off, its baby trotting right behind it.
Out of nowhere, sudden pressure materialized on your shoulder, making you nearly jump out of your skin. You were relieved when you realized the pressure was from the hand of your partner.
"You shouldn't stray beyond the forest edge by yourself." John's placid timbre stated.
By now, you're not the least bit surprised that he was able to sneak up on you without making a single sound. There were plenty of times where the man proved himself to be very proficient in stealth. After all, John was a man that was capable of utilizing his skills and knowledge to do any physical activity in any environment that called for it.
"I know…I just wanted to see what the inside of a forest looked like. How did you know where I was?"
"I followed your tracks, it led me to this clearing."
"Sounds about right."
"Do you see them?" You asked, referring to the pair of retreating deer. "This is the first time I've seen them up close."
The spare box of bait was in his hand.
"Let's head back to the dock."
You nodded in agreement, glancing back at the retreating deer disappearing just beyond the edge of the clearing.
xxxxXXXXxxxx
For another hour or so, you and John quietly fished in each other's company without issue.
To sum it all up, you were quite satisfied with your first experience going fishing and you grew more elated each time you managed to catch another fish.
"That's the fifth one. So does this mean I'm a better fisherman than you?" You teased, flashing him a mirthful smile.
"Probably in your mind."
"In reality too. I caught more than you." You explained, leaning over with a mischievous grin.
Inadvertently, inching closer and closer to the edge of the dock.
"Milaya." John sternly admonished, a quiet hint of rebuke in his voice.
You might've noticed if you weren't riding on prideful high about potentially catching more fish than your reserved lover. You probably should've taken what he said more seriously considering that you can't swim. You were too busy channeling all your excited energy toward an outdoor activity you'd wanted to try for a long time.
No, you hadn't paid attention to how close you'd scooted to the edge of the wooden platform in your attempts to mock him. No, you also didn't realize that during your successful attempts, you'd unknowingly made the mistake of knocking over the plastic containing the last few worms. After throwing the last fish back, you went to pick up your pole when your hand made contact with something cold and softly textured. Skin crawling, you slowly looked down to see what thing you had just touched and that thing turned out to be an earthworm.
Everything in you seemed to shrivel up and die at that exact moment.
All of this cultivated with you leaping off the dock in petrified alarm when your mind finally caught up. Before you could even comprehend what was happening, freezing cold water fully engulfed your entire being. Which proved to be a bigger shock to the system than you initially thought. Then all of a sudden, you were panicking for a whole new reason.
Amidst your flailing, you barely registered another splash before sturdy hands were pulling you up and out the water moments later.
Aside from that, you couldn't get over the fact that you nearly drowned yourself because your hand accidentally touched a worm.
Tragic…but still somewhat reasonable in your mind.
Ultimately, when everything was said and done, the fishing excursion was cut drastically short.
Once inside you hurriedly slipped out of the wet clothing, before huddling on the couch in front of the fireplace, toweling excess moisture from your braids. Though you may have to blow dry them if you want them completely dry. But that wasn't your main concern, the thing that had your attention was undoubtedly your silent lover.
While it was an accident, John didn't seem to care all that much. John remained exceptionally pissed about the situation, especially taking into consideration that he already warned you about getting too close to the water in the first place. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, you'd placed yourself in a life threatening predicament and he had every right to be upset. Your lover hadn't spoken a single word since you both made it back to the cabin.
Despite everything, you think the main thing he's upset about is that you stood a pretty good chance of getting sick after falling in a lake where the temperature was below freezing. It's not a secret that he loathed the thought of you getting sick and had taken deliberate precautions to ensure you remained in good health, such as instructing you to bundle up whenever you left the cabin. You recalled how he hovered close to you in town as you'd foolishly leaned over a whole ass bridge barrier to snap a picture.
So you can see why he was understandably not happy with your latest actions and his prolonged silence made that glaringly evident. Worst still, there wasn't anything you could say to rectify the situation and convey just how sorry you were. You falling into the lake was obviously something John didn't want happening and the fact that it still took place…
Warmth from the fireplace licked faintly across your skin but one cup of coffee would probably warm you faster than the recently lit hearth.
Frankly, you regretted everything the second you made contact with the frigid water. Frostbite was a definite possibility and there was minor concern that you could go into shock quickly.
The walk back to the cabin had to be one of the longest, most unpleasant things you ever had to endure. And not just because you were still shaking like a leaf.
You quietly watched as the man hung the wet clothing near the fireplace to dry before continuing to move about the cabin engaging in various other tasks before he eventually retreated out of view into the kitchen. From where you were seated, your expression probably resembling a child who knew they were in trouble but didn't want to bring any more attention to what they'd done.
Truthfully, he wasn't the type to verbally convey how your transgressions affected him but his actions articulated it well enough. He's not so cryptic in those aspects.
The stonewalling went on for some time before it became too unbearable and uncomfortable for your clingy self to handle any longer. While sorting through your intrusive thoughts, it began to dawn on you that he may not be ready to discuss the issue with you. Sometimes when people were upset they chose to take the time to cool off. If that was indeed the case, you'd rather not press the matter but you at least wanted him to speak with you again.
It certainly didn't help matters that you're not used to this kind of treatment from him. Never had he been so quiet and standoffish before - it worried you considerably.
While you'd outwardly admit it, as an only child, your father often doted on and spoiled you. You were used to getting your way with him and a pair of sad eyes were usually enough to get you out of trouble.
Truthfully, you weren't so sure that you could sway a man like John no matter how sad your eyes looked. He wasn't a man who would forgive easily and that was clearly evident by his current disposition. In fact, his displeasure was thick and choking. Being that he was already a phlegmatic man by way of nature, this quietude from him was very telling.
Silent treatment was cruel, even for someone like him. You can't handle being ignored, not when he was the one doing it. You found this treatment phlegmatically assertive and scarily efficient. Rarely does your lover ever forgo his calm, composed temperament in relation to you.
When you lay eyes on him, he stood in front of the stove, watching the plumes of steam rise from the pot of leftover soup from the previous day.
"Are you still mad at me?"
Pointed silence met the question. He didn't even acknowledge that you're speaking to him. It's evident that your playful actions have pissed him off in a way that you don't think he's willing to acknowledge. No. He'd rather show you how deep his discontentment with you ran. And he was doing a fine job of it without speaking a single word.
"John, it was an accident." You justified. "I didn't mean to do it…it just happened."
Unfortunately, you weren't in the business of apologizing when you felt like you weren't in the wrong. Not only that but you also weren't willing to let go of your pride. But a circumstance of this magnitude clearly called for it.
"I told you I was sorry."
He's even more stubborn than you and he was showing that. Practically nothing was going to get through to him when he was cross with you. Merely saying you were sorry clearly wasn't enough for him.
With your first few attempts not getting through to the male, you thought you'd take a different approach. "You can't just ignore me all night." You boldly quipped.
Honestly, you don't see how this method would work any better than the first. To him, it might've sounded like a challenge and you don't doubt that he would continue to ignore you until he felt like speaking. His silence was meant to act as your punishment. And to say that you were feeling the effects of it was a massive understatement.
Unable to do much but stand there with an annoyed pout on your face, you crossed your arms indignantly. "Stop being mad at me!" You demanded.
Without a sound, John bypassed you as he strode gracefully out the kitchen and your heart dropped to your should've known this would happen. Your attempts to gain control over the situation were quickly reduced to nothing in a matter of minutes. He obviously wasn't for your games and tactics.
In a last ditch effort, you followed after him, placing yourself in front of him. From there you dropped to your knees, arms coming up to wrap themselves around his waist.
In spite of the fact that you couldn't believe it was happening, you had to convince yourself that it actually was taking place at this very he could reduce you to such a state - a whining, submissive person that would do anything to regain his favor. It's how you know the man has your head completely gone.
Sighing inaudibly, John glanced down at your lowered frame, staring down at you with nothing short of irritated disinterest. You obviously sensed the man's mounting vexation and your response to it was to tighten your limbs around his torso.
The bulge at the front of his pants pressed against your cheek. Fueled by neediness, you began to rub your face lovingly over his crotch adoringly and to initiate intimate contact.
"What do you want me to do?" You implored. You begged.
Surely he saw the bewilderment shining in your eyes.
Amidst the ensuing silence, you watched completely dumbfounded as his steady, weighted gaze fell to your lips. To your surprise, his thumb came up to trail across your bottom lip intensely. Applying the faintest pressure on the soft flesh, coaxing it to part. Then his hand left your face completely. It took you a moment to contemplate what the look meant but when you finally did your insides fluttered.
You didn't need to quietly mull over what the look in his eyes - you read the look of unbridled desire from the man's brown orbs easily enough.
And you quickly understood that what he wanted was meant to serve as your apology.
It was astounding to think that a man could say so much without having to physically convey his desires.
The assassin stood completely still, arms positioned at his sides.
Reaching up, your hand pushed his shirt up past his navel, rubbing the soft firm expanse of his stomach. You began placing soft kisses along the firm surface of his abdomen. Eventually, this led to you sliding his waistband down to mid thigh, watching admiringly as his manhood bobbed free from its confines. If this was how he wanted you to seek forgiveness, then so be it. Along with seeking his forgiveness, you obviously had something to prove.
Half hard by your estimate, the sight of it always amazed you. It would only be described as a truly beautiful and rousing sight. This was the instrument he used to wreak you the other night. Internally, you made it your mission to get it harder and leaking for your own enjoyment, not just his. You can already feel your mouth watering.
There's no ambiguity in your shameless actions, as you remained curiously bold with the knowledge that he would be watching your every move. Usually, something like that would make you severely embarrassed but you were too purpose driven to care.
"Please let me…"
You wrapped a hand around the throbbing manhood. Hot and heavy, the stiff muscle felt like silk wrapped over steel. You trailing your fingertip along the base where he was thickest. You started by lightly kissing and licking it hungrily. ..paying special attention to that thick vein on the underside of his dick. Immediately, showing the long pulsing muscle in wet, open mouthed kisses.
John watched you heatedly, staring intensely into your hungry pleading eyes.
Dipping your head to flicking your tongue against the hanging testes underneath. Hands wandering up his muscled thighs. Pressing plush lips to the flushed head heated eye contact with him the entire time. Trailing your tongue up the length of his shaft.
Laving over every inch of skin. Maintaining a tight grip while your hand twists up and down his shaft.
Guiding it into the heat of your mouth, you tried to swallow him down in one eager gulp, immediately aggravating your sensitive gag reflex.
Due to him having a dick as wide as your forearm, you had to take care to ease down on it slowly, opening your throat further in the process. The second the hard girth got too far back you had to pull away again. While you weren't in any way trying to choke yourself, his dick was simply too big. Eyes watering, you actually had to stop and regulate your breathing. After bracing yourself for what was to come, it took a portion of courage and a few tries before you could get your throat to relax enough for it to successfully slip past your gag reflex. Dipping your head once more, you pulled the rigid appendage into the confines of your contracting throat, until the head hit the back of your throat.
A calloused hand found itself on the back of your head, gently stroking the braids there.
Gaining more confidence, this prompted you to take in more of him. It gave you immense satisfaction to be capable of deep throating his dick seeing as it had been a while since you'd done it. Before long, you were able to keep a languid pace, head bobbing up and down in his lap. All the while, you moaned loudly in your throat, covering him in spit and dribble. Pulling back, your mouth worked over the stiff length, sucking on the head like a ring pop.
Sure, you're nowhere near a dick eating professional but you know what to do.
Humming around the hardened erection stretching your lips, you released the head with a loud pop.
"Please don't be mad at me anymore…I'll be good." You stammered earnestly.
John's smothering expression was exceedingly dark, watching your every move through narrowed eyes. For a brief moment, you thought he'd actually speak to you, you thought he'd say that he forgave the offense. To your complete and utter shock, in a controlled manner your lover wordlessly guided your head back unto his arousal.
The assassin's impassive stare imparted what his own mouth would not. You don't have my forgiveness. It read.
Beads of clear fluid started to leak from the tip and you wasted no time lapping it up greedily like a ravenous kitten, gathering it on your tongue. The sinuous tip was now a light shade of red and you dipped your tongue into the small slit in an attempt to get his body to produce more.
"Mmm." You lewdly vocalized.
Cheeks hollowing you kept a steady pace of sucking from base to mushroom tip. Your lover continued cradling the back of your head in silent encouragement as loud slurping noises resonated throughout the room.
Despite being fully engaged in sucking, you still managed to pay attention to the subtle signs of his body. The way his stomach contracted slightly, the way brows drew in moderately.
Tiny squirts of precum landed directly on your tongue, saturating the muscle in pearlescent fluid.
In a minuscule, barely noticeable movement, you noticed your paramour's jaw tighten. It's at this point that you start to feel it twitch.
Not long after you feel a gush of semen shooting into your waiting mouth and you have to swallow the first wave down quickly as you didn't want to choke when the second wave came. And you look directly into his eyes as it happens. Nothing was sexier than seeing him come apart at the seams. It turned you on more than anything. He spilled his load right inside of your wet cavern. His manly essence coated the entirety of your tongue. It felt good sliding down your throat and you happily drank down every last drop. You savored the male saltiness, swallowing all of it as it pumped into your mouth. You didn't know how to describe the taste of it, only that it tasted strangely with a dash of salt. Still you found yourself liking it.
Once it finally stopped, you pulled back until only the tip was touching your lips before glancing up at him for approval.
According to him, you ending up on your knees with his dick between your lips constituted a suitable punishment. You never thought to use oral sex as a form of persuasion or apology. It's different when it's done for a person's own enjoyment. You didn't see yourself as the kind of woman who'd be willing to incur her lover's favor with sexual acts but what you'd just done likely confirmed that you were indeed that kind of woman. You don't exactly feel ashamed about it, you actually feel very empowered.
"While ostracization is not something I would utilize as a suitable punishment…there are exceptions." He placidly established, the hand resting on your cheek moving underneath your jaw where he secured it in a firm grip, applying the barest amount of pressure. "Where you lack discipline, I will educate."
The hitman's deep baritone took on a low, salacious intonation that merely served as a subtle warning should you choose to step out of line again.
Having gotten his point across, the man released your face from his hold before standing at his full height. "There's food supplies in the kitchen. I will light the brazier."
Afterwards, the man effortlessly glided past you down the hallway towards the bedroom.
A smile tugged at the corner of your mouth.
xxxxXXXXxxxx
The large silvery moon glowed bright in the distance. Square masonry brazier pit where the hypnotizing flames are engaged in a sensual dance while searing the firewood. The warmth from the fire enveloped the space in a way that was pleasing to the senses.
The warm, inviting atmosphere provided the most perfect opportunity to spend the final night in Belgium. The outdoor space made for the perfect environment to roast marshmallows and lounge on the patio deck outside. It wasn't that often that you actually took the time to gaze up at the stars in the night sky.
With a night as peaceful as this one, you truly hated that you had to leave and return to your life back home. All in all, you felt grateful to be able to ring in the New Year with John this way.
You were elated when John informed you that the nearby town would have a fireworks display to celebrate the New Year. Considering all you'd seen so far, you know that the vivacious town had to be bustling with the festive holiday approaching. With less than twenty minutes until the initial countdown actually began. From where the cabin was, you both should have a great view of it as the town was only a few miles away. You eagerly awaited the start of it as you're sure that it'll be an amazing light display. Belgium clearly didn't mess around when it came to any sort of celebration and you couldn't wait to see what their pyrotechnics display looked like.
On your own chair, you sat wrapped in a thick blanket, enjoying the traditional camp side treat that was universally called a 'S'more." There's a lingering ache along your swollen lips but it wasn't unpleasant. It certainly wouldn't stop you from eating.
The popular outdoor snack combined simple ingredients that made for a delicious delicacy that easily sated your insatiable sweet tooth. You took great delight in crafting the gooey, chocolatey mess of a sandwich just as much as you did devouring it. You also had the luxury of sipping the most delicious hot cocoa. This was exactly what you wanted.
Even John seemed content throughout the entire thing, given that his whole thing was about letting you do whatever you wanted or at the very least making it possible for you to do so. Not that you were complaining about it.
In a short span of time, you finished off the third toasted sandwich, readjusting the duvet around your shoulders before turning your attention back to the hitman.
"Aren't you cold?" You asked.
"No."
He wore a long-sleeved shirt and while it was slightly thicker than an average shirt would be, you didn't think it would combat the outside elements.
Decision made, you stood from your chair and walked over to him, throwing the blanket around his shoulder and sitting between his legs. "I don't believe you." You said
You then wrapped the fabric around both your bodies before leaning back into his chest. Unsurprisingly, the man's warmth engulfed you just as effectively as the blanket.
"I suppose you don't have any campfire stories to tell."
"You mean the ones people tell children to scare them?"
"Yeah those."
The question appeared to give him pause as he didn't answer it straightaway.
"No. I find reality much scarier than any monster residing in a forest." The man quietly answered.
Generally speaking, he could be entirely right. Given the man's trade, you don't know the things he's seen with his own eyes. You don't know the questionable deeds he's had to perform over the years. Oftentimes, humans did worse things than mere monsters could whereas fictional stories couldn't possibly compare to reality.
"Do you regret them?" You asked, twisting around to look at him. "...all the things you had to do?"
He looked out into the distance. "No."
The honest answer wasn't shocking in the slightest in fact it contained a hint of finality. Not only that but John's response greatly implied that he stood firm on whatever transgressions he'd committed. In layman's terms, it happened and he couldn't do anything to change it nor would he shy away from it. He spoke from a place of introspection and you could wholeheartedly respect that. You've never lived a lifestyle like his, therefore you cannot speak about what you would do if placed in his shoes - it just wasn't feasible.
Despite the peaceful setting, your mind was otherwise occupied, reflecting heavily on the year's events. The highs, the lows, but most importantly, the very person who'd entered your life under the most unexpected circumstance and changed it for the better.
For a long time, your lover's world was full of nothing but blood and death - operating within a mysterious society you knew next to nothing about that revolved heavily around crime and money. Although your knowledge of the shadowy world and its customs were limited, you're fully aware that retirement was never meant to be an option for someone like him. And some could even argue that he didn't deserve a normal life after the violent one he's led thus far. On some level, even you can see how it would seem impossible - that an elite assassin would seek to attain some semblance of peace within his life and leave his blood-soaked past.
On the subject of the man making the transition to a normal, civilian life, you felt like a crucial piece when it came to him integrating into this coveted new life. By definition, John's current life was everything but normal. In actuality, it wasn't even an imitation of what could constitute an ordinary life. Personally, you didn't think it was unattainable for a man of his character and you sought out to prove it. For that reason, it was only right that you take it upon yourself to guide and nurture him through the development. From your standpoint, you could count it as one of your New Year's resolutions. As you saw the newfound objective as a goal, something worthy of obtaining and striving towards. Perhaps, it was naïve and presumptuous of you but you felt like you owed it to him after everything he'd done.
Time after time, John honored your wants and dreams. What was wrong with you vowing to do the same? The man cared for you enough to set aside time to teach you something just because you asked. That's what normal couples did and considering that he was on a quest of normality - this could serve as a decent start.
Regardless of the sliver of apprehension, the current setting inspired you to attempt meaningful conversation. It was only right that you felt as though you needed to verbally convey your innermost thoughts in lieu of pretending like you're not an emotional schmuck when it came to any circumstance where you had to express your feelings.
It was just the preceding day when he'd willingly laid his feelings and thoughts bare to you without flinching. And based on that account, you could endeavor to do the same without fear.
For a while, you said nothing else, merely content to stare into the flickering embers. But in the spur of the moment, you decided to turn and face your lover. You needed to face him for what you were about to say.
"John…there's so much I can say but I don't really know where to start. So I'm just going to speak from the heart and whatever comes out…comes out." You shrugged.
How could you explain that he literally held your heart in the palm of his hands?
"I've always wanted to see new parts of the world. I always wanted to travel and experience new things I hadn't before. And thanks to you I got my first glimpse." You smiled. "I try not to put too much emphasis on the material things you give for me because I could honestly do without all of it. The money, cards. Sometimes I feel guilty about it and I wonder…why me of all people. But then I had to realize that you chose to go the extra mile for me because you want to. Not because I ask or expect you to."
In time, you hoped to find a way to reciprocate it but as for now, you merely wanted him to know that his exploits haven't gone unnoticed.
You hoped he didn't mind your emotional admission…sometimes you just start talking and can't seem to stop. But that doesn't necessarily mean that it's a bad thing. As a matter of fact, you thought it showed honesty and sincerity in your words.
"It doesn't get past me how you do everything with purpose and you do it purely out of the goodness of your heart because that's the type of man you are. You're a man that would jump into freezing cold water to save me. And just knowing that I hold a significant place in your life means everything to me." You explained, your eyes gleaming with gratitude.
At your age, this wasn't how you imagined you would be - being loved and cared for by a man like him. Essentially, he was what every woman wanted. A prince charming wrapped in lethal layers.
In the seemingly short time you'd known one another, John had become a protector of you and everything you held dear. He had no problem meeting your physical and emotional needs on a daily basis. His willingness and ability to care and provide for you would win any woman over. He caters to every single one of your needs with batting an eye. Even the small things mattered whereas most think it wouldn't.
"Thinking back on everything…how we met, every single thing we've been through since then….I'm grateful for it all because now I simply can't imagine what my life would be like without you. All I can think about is how lucky I am that you walked into that bar that night. I mean we literally met because you came in and upped a Glock in my place of work." You laughed as though the matter wasn't that serious at the time. "And I still fell head over heels for you. That's not like any common romance story I've ever heard of."
"You've taught me so many things about myself already. You're able to read me like an open book. Even better than my own mom and she's been crazy good at it since I was young. I adore every aspect about you. Your old man humor, your funny little quirks, the way you never judge me for being who I am. I'm in love with everything that makes you…well you."
You know what he is - a man so hardened that you think he wasn't capable of speaking those three sentimental words aloud. Although the day will come when you hear those words leave his lips. "You don't have to say it…your actions wind up proving to me every single day how you feel about me. And I know we already talked about this yesterday…but I really need you to know that we're in this together as we always have been. Whatever it is we need to do to make things happen…whatever steps we need to take, I'm right beside you." You assured, taking his larger hand in yours.
Love is complicated and sometimes really hard to come by. Something covered and sought after since the literal beginning of time. A perpetual conundrum for most of the general population. During your time together, you and him have built a strong and trusting relationship where commitment and understanding came naturally.
"I didn't know that being in love was such a magical feeling. I honestly never want to stop feeling it. I don't know how to describe it but you make me feel like I'm floating all the time."
"I know that there's a huge difference between loving someone and being in love. But I feel it…deep in my stomach everyday. At first…I thought it was just a naïve, lovestruck part of me speaking. But now I realize that it was just me the whole time. At this very moment, I know that I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with you."
The start of the new year was going to be something great and you looked forward to it. With the coming new year, a lot would be taking place, namely you working and starting school again. From your understanding, there was a need for self-reflection more than anything else and you'd come to a definite conclusion.
"I want to experience you forever…I want to love you forever. I've never felt so strongly about something in all my years of living."
When you glanced at him again, you could see the affection shining deeply in his eyes. What you said obviously resonated with him in ways you couldn't comprehend.
At the same moment, loud bursts of brilliant hues began to fill the starry sky, signaling the start of the wonderful display of bright colors amidst the boundless darkness.
A multitude of luminous bursts began launching into the air. Some varied in size and color but mostly all of them shoot straight up before shattering into huge dazzling sparks, leaving the night sky shimmering like something out of a fairytale. It was an unforgettable sight.
In the midst of you watching the fireworks, you just so happened to glance over to gauge your lover's reaction, only to find him staring directly at you instead. Albeit not expecting it, it was such a shock to the system - the intense, hard to read look resting along his handsome features. Strikingly, you were not shocked to find him watching you, you were shocked at the tender emotion shining deeply in the stare. And just like that you found yourself enraptured by it.
It made your breath catch in your throat and your heart beat faster. For long moments, the two of you stared into each other's eyes, focused completely centered away from the loud fireworks going off in the distance. At the present, it felt as though time had come to standstill with everything else falling into obscurity. As if nothing else mattered beyond this very moment.
Moments later, John's hand came up to caress your cheek and instantly nestled against it closing your eyes in contentment. Afterwards, you leaned in to press your forehead gently against his.
A beat of silence passed before you opened your eyes once more.
"Happy New Year John."
xxxxXXXXxxxx
Okay, so rarely do I make little announcements at the end of a chapter but I figured I could do it this one time. I don't know if it's gonna become a thing though.
I'm writing this because I'm aware that it's that time of year where it's gonna become very busy the next couple of weeks in my life. Not only will I be working but I'll also be dealing with family stuff/events, all that jazz. Also I currently have the worst sinus infection I've ever experienced and it's doing me pretty bad, lol. I'm just trying to recover from that.
Just so everyone knows, Arbiter of Fate is up next on the list to be updated and I've already started working on the chapter. And I also have plans to have Skyline updated again before the end of the year. Ya'll can still hit me up on tumblr and message me and I'll definitely respond. I can't wait to hear from everyone about your thoughts and opinions on this chapter considering it was a strange one for me to write. I hope everyone has a wonderful, loving Thanksgiving holiday with their friends and families!
I'll check back as soon as I'm able. Deuces.
Tumblr: teejaywyatt.1