Well kiddies, this is one long story. That is all I have to say about that. But I am hoping that you are having fun reading this. And yes I know that I can't write that well. Who cares! It's a fanfic! There are various writings here!
In the last chapter:
Kouga and Aiayme had their baby. There was a great celebration after Filare was introduced into the world. A wonderful baby shower was given to them and tons of gifts. Kagura was allowed back into the Western Lands and there was some hesitation but things went well. InuYasha finally came to accept his feelings about Kagome and now things are fine with him and Kikyou are now moving in the right direction. Which happens to be the bed. And finally, Kagura wonders when she is going to find love and happiness in her life.
Kagura woke up and felt odd in Sesshomaru's palace. But she knew that she better get used to visiting people at times. But what about the others? Could she really get to know them and show them that she has changed since the time that she was courting Sesshomaru? She had to admit that she was jealous of Kagome for winning his heart and his soul but she knew that she would never have that of him. And that was the reason she left to find out what she really was looking for. She got out of bed and the snow was still falling in the morning light. She smiled and got her things together to get ready for the day. She was going on a tour with Kagome later this afternoon and see all of the changes that they had made around the grounds since the last time that she was here. After changing and cleaning up some, she went to the great hall where there was a small group of people sitting there and stopped what they were doing when she walked in.
Sango and Miroku with InuYasha and Kikyou were staring at the wind sorceress. Sango was the first one to move to her.
"Kagura, no one else is here but if you like, you can join us while we wait." Sango said as she smiled at her.
"I don't know. I know that you all still dislike me for all the things that I have done in my life." Kagura said.
"Well than it is time that we get past all that. Come over and sit down with us and tell us what you have been doing since you were here last."
Kagura followed Sango back to the group and sat down. It was not long that they were all talking and Kagura was starting to feel better.
Kagome woke up in Sesshomaru's arms and she smiled at him. He just stared back at her and smiled. She couldn't believe that it was already Christmas Eve and that she was still carrying their child in her womb. But she was worried because she was getting so huge already and she had around four more months left until she gave birth.
"Kagome, you look beautiful. Do not worry about your size because the way that I see it, the larger you get, the healthier that our pup gets." Sesshomaru said smiling.
"Yeah well mister, I need you to find out if there are more than one heartbeat in there. Now stick your head down on my belly and tell me what you hear!" Kagome demanded as she grabbed his head and stuck it on her belly.
He looked around and then focused as he closed his eyes. "I can hear them! I can hear their heartbeats and yours! This is so neat! I wish that you could hear this Kagome!"
"Them! Are you tell me that I am having more than one pup!" Kagome screamed.
"Yes! We are having more than one pup! This is so neat. I have to have InuYasha listen to this!" Sesshomaru said as he got up quickly and gave her a kiss and then shot out the door. Kagome smiled and then she relaxed against the headboard. It was not long that InuYasha, Kikyou, Sango, Miroku, Kagura, Rin, Sota and Akoro came in.
"Well this is such a large party just to hear my babies inside my large belly!" Kagome said as she patted her belly.
"Mother will be a long soon. She was in the bath when I went to go and get her." Rin said.
"Well come on and listen to them." Kagome said motioning them forward. She laughed as everyone at once tried putting their heads on her stomach. Sure that there was enough room to do such a thing since she was so big but she still had to laugh. She noticed that Kagura was the only one that had stayed back.
"This is so cool sis! I can hear them but at the same time, damn InuYasha! Take a bath!" Sota said. Rin started to laugh and InuYasha started poking Sota in the ribs. Well he thought that it was Sota when it was Miroku. Miroku started to get mad and Kikyou grabbed InuYasha's hand and started poking himself instead of others. Sesshomaru just sat there and laughed because with all of them teasing each other, they still had their heads to her stomach.
"I see that this is a Kodak moment." Sheila said as she came through the door and shot a picture.
"Oh thanks mom! That was wonderful!" Kagome said as the others lifted their heads off her stomach.
"I thought that it was a nice picture. I could take one of you while you are giving birth if you like?" Sheila teased.
"I don't think so."
"So I hear that there is more than one heartbeat in there. I see that you guys have been very busy then." Sheila said as she winked at Sesshomaru and went to her daughter.
She then put her head on the bottom of Kagome's tummy and smiled. "Yup, there are more than one in there! Although I can't tell if there are two or three. You better hope that there are not three! You will definitely have less time on your hands!"
"Come to the great hall after you are done getting ready Kagome." Kikyou said.
"I will." Kagome said. "Um. Kagura, can you please stay here with me? I would like to speak with you while I get ready."
Kagura looked at the round woman before her and nodded her head. Sesshomaru noticed this and Kagome said that she was fine and she will see him in the great hall.
After they were all gone, Kagome finally got up and managed to move to her armoire.
"Kagura I know that I was not in the greatest of spirits yesterday when you arrived. I know that you have been through a lot since the last time that you were here." Kagome said.
"How do you know this?"
"Sit down and relax. I know this because of the color of your aura. You are saddened at having such a loss and yet at the same time you seek for something that you might find here. Like love and happiness. You have been scared for a long time since being on your own from Naraku. Which I can understand because it took Kohaku a long time to get past it as well. If it wasn't for Kanna, I think that he would have killed himself a long time ago when I first released him and he would be living in the netherworld right now. I am so thankful to Kanna that you cannot imagine. But now it is time for you to get past the stuff that you have experienced since being released. You first thought that you loved Sesshomaru, and now you see that it was not him that you were seeking. You were seeking comfort and acceptance then and he was not providing that for you. Yet here you are back at the palace where he turned you away to seek out life on your own." Kagome said as she started to get dressed.
"Kagome you are so right. I thought that it was right between Sesshomaru and I but it wasn't. It wasn't the life that I wanted and the love that I was seeking. I wanted more than that and he wasn't willing to give it to me and look past what I had done before. I have been having nightmares each night since I was released. I am not saying that I am not grateful of you for doing that for me but I didn't know what I wanted to do anymore. I had thought that I had a plan once being released but when it finally came to that, I found that I did not." Kagura said as she started to cry. Kagome went to her and held her.
"You are going to find what you seek. I know that you are. You just have to bide your time. I would like for you to join us for the holiday festivities and to stay here and heal. I know that Sesshomaru would be fine with it and you never know you might find that you like it here. Kanna and Kohaku are building a home in the spring with Sango and Miroku as well. They are staying in the lands and I would be happy if you would like to as well to become closer with Kanna." Kagome said as she held the wind sorceress.
Kagura looked at her and smiled. "You really are a caring person aren't you Kagome? I never would have thought that you would have invited me for all of this."
"Ah Kagura you are fine. You just need to find your place in this world again." Kagome said smiling. "Now come and let's have breakfast. I am starving!"
Kagura smiled and followed Kagome down to the great hall. She knew that there were other demons there that she did not know and thought that maybe she shouldn't have come. When they got there, the great hall was filled with all the demons that worked at the Tashido palace. There was not one who was not there. Well, maybe except for Cracko but even he was invited but he decided that it was best that he not considering what had happened a few months back. Kagome brought her over and had introduced her to many different people that she might see while staying at the palace with her and Sesshomaru. Fitzu met her and he was instantly enamoured with her. And Kagome thought that Kagura was of him as well. Considering that he was the teacher in the art of battles, she might have some good insight on what was in her mind. Kagome left them to talk while she went and found Sesshomaru talking to Lavonia about Kagome having more than one pup in her.
"I see that the word has gone around that I am big as this palace because you overstocked me with pups." Kagome said as she walked up to them. Lavonia bowed to her and she waved her hand at her. "You know that you don't have to do that Lavonia. My gosh, let's get past that already!" Kagome said. Lavonia nodded her head.
"Are you fairing well Kagome?" She asked.
"My back hurts a little but Sesshomaru has been doing well with massaging it for me each time that it hurts."
"That is good. If you are indeed carrying more than one pup in there, things are going to get super cramped and there is going to be lots of back pains and pains in your ribs. But your body is going to do well. I am sure of that." Lavonia said smiling. "It is time that we eat, you look like you could eat a whole bear demon by yourself."
"Yes, I kinda feel that way!" Kagome said laughing.
"Kagome are you sure that you are up to this today?" Sesshomaru asked.
"I am fine you big worry wart. I don't see what the fuss is. So what that I am having more than one at a time. Everything is normal and things will be normal." Kagome said.
Sesshomaru then took her to the table and had her sit down. By her right side, he sat down next to her and on the other side of her; Sheila and Akoro sat down. Kohaku and Kanna sat next to Akoro while Sota and Rin sat next to Sesshomaru. InuYasha and Kikyou next to Rin and Kagura by Kanna, Aiayme, Filare, Kouga and Koarau sat at the end of the table. Sesshomaru looked at everyone as they sat down at the various tables in the great hall.
"Everyone, I am so happy that the great hall is once again filled with friends and loved ones. As you can hear, Kagome and I are expecting more than one pup here pretty soon. And as celebration for the New Year, which is the year of the dragon coming up, we are going to celebrate the new little ones and the ones that are going to come with what Kagome calls Christmas and the New Year. You are here as servants, soldiers and family. But since this is the holiday season, you are nothing but an extension of the great Tashido family. If there is something that you need, please let me know or Kagome know. We are here to make sure that even though you work here with us, you are still allowed to have a good time. Now let's eat!" Sesshomaru said and then he sat down, kissing Kagome on the cheek on the way down.
"You are always going to be the right one to do the speeches for us. There is no way that I would have been able to say something so sweet to them Sesshomaru. Thank you." Kagome said as she padded his arm with one hand while the other was grabbing food and putting it on her plate. Sesshomaru laughed as he saw her do this. He knew that she was terribly hungry but he was growing tired of her asking him twice a night for food and that was after dinner. But after seeing her eat the way that she was right now, he knew that it was for the pups that are in her belly. That the two of them inside there are going to need everything that she can give them. Now that he knew how many are in there, he is no longer getting tired of doing that. He will do anything to keep these ones alive and healthy and in her belly for as long as he can.
Kagome looked at him after taking a bite off a piece of fruit that was glistening with sugar on it. "Are you thinking about her Sesshomaru?" She asked as she swallowed.
"I am and I know that she is fine with our parents in the afterlife, but I still miss her. And now she is never going to know her siblings either."
"She will know them. She will just see them in a different way than anyone else."
"Thank you my love. Now eat! You need to eat as much as you can for the pups! And Kanna and Sango! You guys eat more! You need to make sure that your pups are good and healthy!" Sesshomaru said as he pointed his finger at them.
InuYasha elbowed Sota, "And I thought that Kouga was bad with Aiayme. I have the feeling that he is going to be worse as she gets farther along." InuYasha said.
"Yeah I know what you mean, but her language is getting worse though the longer she is pregnant."
"Yeah she called me some bad names the other day just for getting in her way."
"All we have to remember is that she has the right of way when she is walking. Her and Kanna and Sango."
"Yeah for Kami's sake do not get in their way! They are getting almost as bad as Kagome."
"I heard that!" Kagome said loudly. InuYasha and Sota shrunk in their seats while Kikyou and Rin laughed.
Kagome looked at Kanna and Sango and they all nodded heads. They were going to get them back and soon. They were not going to let InuYasha and Sota get away with their small comments about the pregnant ladies. They just had to think of something that was going to get them good.
After breakfast, they all dispersed to other parts of the palace. Some went outside to play in the snow, some went to the stables to see the improvements and the carriages, and some just went wandering. Kagome noticed that Fitzu and Kagura were in the corner talking and she was happy that they were getting along so well. Poor Fitzu has been without female company since Kagome could remember; actually she never knew if he had ever been involved with one besides his sisters. Which of course do not count because they do not play that family game. It was then that she thought of Cracko. He was still down in the dungeons because his family did not want Koarau to beat him during the holidays. Kagome decided that it was time for things to get done. She found Koarau in the hallway walking with a plate of sugared fruits for Aiayme.
"Koarau, I was wondering if you would please meet me in the study when you are done bringing those to Aiayme."
"Yes I certainly will. Is there anything wrong?"
"No. I just would like to talk with no one around."
"As you wish Lady Kagome." He said while bowing and left quickly before she could yell at him. She then went down the four flights of stairs and saw Arigota.
"Arigota, I would like to bring Cracko into custody and bring him with me."
"Are you sure Kagome?"
"I am. Please go and get him for me. I have the feeling that I need a small rest."
"Yes, I will be right back."
"Arigota, I don't want him shackled."
"Yes Kagome." Arigota said worried that she would not want him shackled but thought that she would know best because she was his lord's wife.
Kagome sat there at his desk and waited for the two demons. It was not long that Cracko came with Arigota behind him.
"Would you like me to come with you to make sure that he behaves?" Arigota asked.
"No. I know that he would not do anything further to hurt himself the way that he has hurt his family. Thank you Arigota that was very kind of you. Now you go and have some fun. This is the holiday season after all and I don't want any of you to work too hard." Kagome said smiling as she took Cracko's hand and left.
Neither of them said anything as they went to guest bedchambers that were not being used. "Go inside and get cleaned up and changed. I will wait for you here." Kagome said. He bowed to her and did as she asked. He came out not that long afterwards and she led him to the study. She had him sit down at one of the pillows in front of her desk while she took out a crisp piece of parchment. She started writing things down when Koarau knocked at the door.
"Come in Koarau." Kagome said not looking up. The door slid open and Koarau came in and stopped before closing the door. He saw Cracko sitting there in front of her cleaned up and in a different kimono.
"Koarau please close the door. You were not born in a barn." Kagome said finally as she looked up at him.
He closed the door and went to her desk and sat down a little ways away from his brother.
"May I ask what is going on Lady Kagome?" Koarau asked.
"I really hate it when you guys call me that so please stop!" Kagome said clearly irritated.
"I am sorry Kagome."
"That is alright. Now there is something that I would like to have done. Jaken, I know that you are in here, so please go and get Lavonia, Fitzu, Sherlene, Sherene, Checko, and Kayer and bring them here."
"Yes Kagome." Jaken said as he came out of his hiding spot in the pillows in the corner.
"And Jaken, do not tell Sesshomaru of this yet. I would like to be the one letting him know. And if I find that you did say something, I will make you pay. And you know that with me in this condition, that it is slim that you would survive." She said angrily. Jaken looked at her with horror and then quickly left.
"What is this about Kagome?" Cracko asked.
"She has not given you permission to speak soldier." Koarau said.
"Koarau, he is your brother and you are going to speak to him with respect. And there is nothing here that says that he has to ask for my permission to ask a question." She said as she looked at Koarau. He bowed his head at her and looked to see what she is going to say. "Cracko, I will explain once the rest of your family arrives."
"As you wish." Cracko said.
It was not much longer that everyone was in the study. Jaken was there in the corner like Kagome instructed him to. She wanted to make sure that he did not run around the palace looking for Sesshomaru before she wanted him to.
"Everyone, you are a family that I hold dear to my heart. Each of you has helped me in your own little way. And yet we are all gathered here as part of the Tashido family for the holidays. But there is one difference. Cracko has been excluded from the festivities because you guys have prolonged his sentence. Do you all know what the Christmas season means to me?" Kagome asked.
They all looked at each other and then at Koarau. "I do believe that you said that this was the time for forgiving and new life for the New Year Kagome." He said.
"That is right Koarau. Forgiveness for what we have sinned against in the past year and looking forward to the next and making it great. That is the reason why we are here. Koarau you were instructed to beat your brother for what he has done until the family sees fit. But you know what I see happening?"
"No Kagome."
"I see that each and every one of you does not want him beaten. And you know what, I don't either. The death of Muso was the one thing that I wanted to see done no matter what. And I got my wish soon after I caught him. But you have not carried out the rest of the sentence and now you are going to. Here and now in front of me as your witness. You guys are a great family and you are close. I have all my family and friends here sharing the holidays with me because I love them and I want them to experience this. I asked for all the servants, soldiers and their families to come to the great hall in the morning to open gifts with us and to have fun. Your family would not be complete without him there with us." Kagome said.
"I understand what you are saying Kagome but you are asking for Koarau to beat him in front of you?" Sherlene asked.
"Yes. Do any of you have an issue with this?" Kagome asked.
They once again looked at each other and then at Koarau. "I guess that we don't." Sherlene said.
"Good. Koarau, I would like for you and Cracko to stand up now. Cracko do not defend yourself because right now you are completing the sentence that was brought forth upon you." Kagome said. Cracko and Koarau stood up and faced each other. "Now Koarau, I would like for you to close your eyes and remember the first initial anger that you had when you found out what he did. What he participated in and how he was acting that day." Koarau nodded his head. "Now I would like for you to punch him three times. Once for Kanna, once for Kohaku and lastly for the rape child."
Koarau looked at her and then at Cracko. Cracko nodded his head and Koarau punched him the amount of times that Kagome told him to. Cracko was on the ground bleeding from his mouth and nose. He was already healing but none the less, Kagome gave him a handkerchief. Koarau sat down on a pillow and looked at his hands that he just punched his brother with.
Kagome sat back down and told Cracko to. She started to write on the parchment and then had each of the family members sign the paper. And then lastly she had Cracko and Koarau sign at the bottom of the parchment.
"Your sentence has been completed Cracko. You are submitted once again within the army of the Tashido palace but you are to start at the beginning. You are now a new soldier within the ranks of newbie." Kagome said.
"What have we signed?" Kayer asked.
"You have signed that you saw fit that he was beaten three times by Koarau and that you will allow him into the family once again. But that if he does go against his new found freedom, that he will be put to death immediately with no trial. Also that his ranking as the Tashido family head Assassin was taken away and that he has to start from the beginning now and work his way up. And that I was here presently to witness the beating and the agreement. Have I left anything out?" Kagome asked.
"I think that you have done it all Kagome." Koarau said.
"Fine, then we will make sure that these are signed by Sesshomaru as head of household and have them sent to Edo for the counsel's signatures for finalization. Now I would all like for you to gather yourselves and reintroduce him into your family. I know that it is going to be hard for all of you but your love as a family will heal the wounds that were open." Kagome said.
They all gathered together and started crying and hugging one another. While they got reacquainted with each other, Kagome went to Jaken.
"Jaken, please go and bring Sesshomaru here. Just tell him that I need to talk to him." Kagome asked and he left. She sat at her desk and was almost crying at the sight before her. Sesshomaru came in and saw everyone in there crying and hugging and talking and he was wondering what was going on. He walked over to Kagome and she hugged him.
"What is going on here?" He asked quickly.
Kagome smiled and handed him the parchment that still needed his signature. He read it and smiled at her.
"Kagome thank you for doing this. I know that it must have been hard on Koarau and the family." Sesshomaru said.
"Actually I think that the healing process is doing rather well. What you think?" She said as she pointed to the group.
"I think that they are doing fine. Do we even have a present for him?"
"Yes I do. I was prepared for this Sesshomaru." Kagome said smiling. He bent down and kissed her. He then took her quill into his hands and signed the parchment.
"Good. I will make sure that Jaken delivers this after the New Year is upon us." Kagome said to him.
"As you wish my love."
He then went over to Cracko and grabbed his shoulder. Cracko stiffened at the hand and even more at Sesshomaru's face.
"I am happy to have you back Cracko. Please make sure that you make this second chance a good one for Kagome." Sesshomaru said.
"I will Lord Sesshomaru. I will make both of you proud to have me back in the army." Cracko said proudly.
"Then I will alert Arigota of the change and you will be submitted into the army after the holidays. So until then, please behave." Sesshomaru said.
"I will Lord Sesshomaru."
"Now, why don't all of you go and get something to eat since dinner is coming soon. And really I am starving so I definitely need something to eat!" Kagome said. Sesshomaru laughed and took her to the great hall. The others followed them and when they opened the doors, people that were in there already stopped and stared. They had all heard of what Cracko has done and what was to happen to him. They did not think that they would see him so soon.
It was not long that the great hall was once again filled with everyone. Once they were all seated, Kagome and Sesshomaru got up to address every one this time.
"Everyone I would like to inform you that Cracko has come back into this world. He has been served his sentence and he has been shamed. And thanks to my wonderful and caring wife, he is now here with us for the holidays with his family." Sesshomaru said.
"Christmas is the time of rebirth and renewal and forgiveness. I have offered this to him and he has accepted. I know that all of you are wondering if you can trust him again, and that is for you to decide. Trust is one thing that can be knocked down in one hit but it takes many more bricks to build it back up. Time will tell on how he redeems himself and now he has redeemed his family and the Tashido name. Please welcome him with open arms as you once did. For this time of the year, forgiveness for everyone is needed." Kagome said as she looked right at Cracko.
"So please everyone eat your fill because after some talking after dinner, we are all supposed to go to bed early for we are to wake up with the sun and celebrate Christmas." Sesshomaru said and everyone hooted for joy. They sat down and Kagome felt pleased with herself. After dinner they talked with some of the guests and everyone seemed to accept Cracko after all that he has done.
It was not long that Kagome saw Fitzu bring Kagura over to meet Cracko. And Kagome felt something in her heart that felt bad. The three of them talked for some time and then Kagura left and came to Kagome.
"Kagome thank you again for accepting me into your home." Kagura told her as she hugged her openly.
"I am glad that you think that. You look ten times better now than when you first arrived."
"I know and now that I have met so many nice people and having such a wonderful time, that I am just glowing with happiness just because of you."
"Kagura, I will tell you this now because I see fighting ahead. Cracko is interested in you as well as his brother Fitzu. I know that you have been talking with Fitzu some during this day and I am happy of that. Because I don't think that Fitzu has had someone else to care for him like I see that you do. Please tell Cracko of your intentions. I don't want to have to witness another challenge in the Tashido name."
"Another challenge? Are you telling me that there is going to be a challenge held here at the palace?"
"Yes, my brother Sota has been challenged by Kouga's future relative and by Shippo for Rin's hand in marriage."
"Oh my! When is the challenge to take place?"
"In the summertime. Which is not that far off now. I am getting worried because Sota and Rin have been getting so close and I know that he would do anything to have her."
"What does Kouga think of this?"
"He thinks that his relative is going to lose. He has sparred with Sota and found it difficult to try to defeat him. Sota has been training with InuYasha, Sherlene, Fitzu, Kayer and Sesshomaru."
"I would hate to be the one fighting him. Just being trained by Sesshomaru is bad enough but the top soldiers that he has in his army! Oh Kagome there is not going to be any death is there?"
"No there is not. That is the one thing that has changed since the time that Lord Tashido was alive, there is going to be no killing. They can go to the brink of death but cannot give death to the other."
Kagura relaxed. "Good, I would hate for some of the old traditions come to pass once again in this peaceful time."
"Then please make sure that if you are going to court Fitzu, then make it known. I don't want the two brothers fighting over you. Especially considering what Cracko just came from."
"Yes, Fitzu told me what had happened and how things were going and how they went before I arrived. I am so sorry that you had to deal with that. But you are a much stronger demon than I and I am still very thankful for your kindness and love that you are showing me."
"Kagura, you have not hurt me that bad. Now and in the past and you know that. Remember it is time for forgiveness. So smile and make the best of the current situations!" Kagome said smiling as she took Kagura into her arms and hugged her.
Kagura then went back to Fitzu and they were talking while Kagome decided that it was time to sit down for a while. She remembered that she had to get Sota and InuYasha back for their comment at breakfast/lunch earlier. She found Kanna and Sango and they all sat down together and talked about how they were going to get the boys back.
It was starting to get dark out and everyone was getting sleepy. Kagome snickered because she made sure that there was a little chamomile in the food to make them that way. She wanted to make sure that everyone was going to sleep early this night so Santa could come and deliver all the presents. After the great hall was deserted, Kagome and Sango went and got all the presents for the soldiers and their families and started putting them under the tree. Sesshomaru came and helped them since they were getting farther into their pregnancies and he didn't want them to over do it. Sheila came and put the presents down for the immediate families on the outside of the tree and then went to her bedchambers. After Kagome and Sango got done putting all the gifts under the tree, they hugged and then went to their bedchambers for the night. Sesshomaru carried Kagome to theirs because she was starting to feel the effects of the chamomile. It was not long after she undressed and slid next to Sesshomaru in bed that she was asleep. Her dreams were of nothing but happiness and pups running around.
Kagura was getting ready for bed when there was a knock at her door.
"Come in." She said.
Cracko came in and hugged her tightly. "Kagura I thought that you were dead."
"Cracko. I am sorry that I did not give word on what I was doing while I was gone. I am sorry."
"I see that you are getting close with my brother Fitzu."
"Are you jealous?"
"I can say that I am but that is not going to change things. He is in love with you Kagura."
"I know and I don't know how to tell him that we already promised each other that we would be mates."
"I think that we should just tell him. He will find another to love that will love him in return. Hell if Sesshomaru can do it, Fitzu certainly can."
"Cracko that is not very nice to say. He has spared your life and Kagome has as well. You owe them your life Cracko."
"I know but if they knew that we were really behind Kanna's rape, and Muso was just the one who took the blame, everything would be ruined."
"We must not think of that Cracko. We cannot. I think that we should just get that out of our heads now. Remember what Kagome said, it is time for forgiveness." Kagura said mockingly. But in her heart she regretted everything that she had done to her sister. She was so jealous of the love that her and Kohaku shared that she ordered and paid Muso well for him to rape her and to have Cracko in on it. And she also knew that in her heart, she did not love Cracko any longer and didn't know how to tell him. He was such a fierce demon and he already claimed her as his. Even though he has not marked her or taken her virginity.
"I better go before anyone suspects anything. I will see you later my love." Cracko said as he bent in to kiss her. But she moved her head away from him and looked at the floor. "What is going on Kagura?" He asked as he looked at her.
"I feel so much regret for doing what we did to her. I cannot help it but being with Kagome and feeling her power and her love for everyone, it is just getting to me and I want to come clean! I don't want to feel like this for the rest of my life knowing that my nephew or niece was created because of my jealousy for the love that they share."
"Kagura you cannot do that. They would put me to death without trial!"
"I know and that is one part that I am having difficulty dealing with. Cracko I do care for you but not like you think."
"What are you saying Kagura? That you don't love me anymore?" Cracko asked as he looked at her. His anger was starting to rise to the top.
"I don't. I haven't felt real love from you at all Cracko. It is not that I don't care for you because I do. But I want the love that everyone here shares with each other. Love that is so untainted and pure that there is nothing in this life that could tear it apart. I don't feel that kind of love from you Cracko. I really don't and I thought that I might have earlier but I didn't. I didn't send word to you because I had to make sure that I was right on this and I am." Kagura said as she looked at the floor. She just couldn't look at his face right now. She knew that she had hurt him and she didn't want to but he had to know the truth.
"Do you love Fitzu?"
"I do not know but I would like to explore those feelings for him Cracko. I care for him like I do you but with him, there is something pure and there is no anger or anything with him."
"Kagura, then I am going to do something that I should have done long ago." Cracko said as he left her room.
"Cracko! Wait! What are you doing?" Kagura asked.
Cracko just kept walking and he didn't know where he was going to go but he had to get some air. He knew that he was expected at the family home now that it was a home but he just could not face any of his family. It was true that he was feeling regrets of the whole act because Kagome was so nice to him and let him live right away. But now he just wished that she put him to death instead of being so kind. Kagura was lost to him and he knew that now. He was going to be nice and stand aside and let Fitzu have her for his mate. He knew that she would be happy with him and that he would do anything to keep her that way. Cracko sat in the gardens with the wind behind him and the snow falling softly on his body. He could not feel the cold because to him it was home. He missed where they were from and wished that they could go back now. All that he has felt since coming here is pain and heartache. His father dying and going to the afterlife soon after coming here, his killing that he has done to make things easier for Sesshomaru, the rape of Kanna and the deception that was born out of it and now losing Kagura.
Sayla came out and went to him. She saw him just sitting there in the gardens and soon he was shivering from the cold weather. She knew that he was used to it but still it was a cold night and he should be getting some rest. She went to him with a blanket and wrapped it around him. She then took his arm and led him into the palace to guest bedchambers. She brought him some tea to warm up and then stoked the fire in the fireplace. She heated him some water in the bathing chambers and left some cold there as well to make the bath of equal temperature. She took out a nightshirt and some night pants for him to change into when he was finished bathing. She then started to head out of the room when he finally called to her.
"Sayla, thank you for this. I guess that I didn't think that I needed help."
"Cracko you may have taken a beating and suffered loss since coming here but with Kagome here now, you are going to experience nothing but happiness as long as you are true to your heart."
"Is that the secret to being happy with my life?"
"Cracko, the life that you seek should make you happy no matter what. Life just gets sweeter when you start sharing it with one that you love."
"How could anyone love me? A top assassin that was demoted to a newbie and who has been involved in a rape of a Tashido relative. How could anyone look past that?"
Sayla went to him and knelt before him. She looked up at his face and smiled.
"Forgiveness is the key. If you can forgive yourself for what you have done, others in return will forgive you. The past is the past Cracko and you have to live beyond that and look to the future."
"I cannot. I have lost the ones that I love; I have lost family, respect, trust and everything in between. I cannot find the light in the darkness."
"Cracko do not say that. Do not despair, you will do fine. You have all of us that are here with you and you have your family as well. They love you no matter what. You must remember that because that is the reason they agreed to such a lenient beating upon you tonight. Sherlene told me how wonderful and respectful Kagome was to you because she forgave you for what you had done. And then Sesshomaru came and did the same thing. You have another chance at life. Do not let it slip by you Cracko. Take it and embrace it to your chest. Make use of the time that you were given for a second time."
"Sayla that is easy for you to say. You have done nothing in this world but come here and be attacked for food. I have done many things in my life that I am not happy about and I have my regrets. Believe me I do."
"Then forgive yourself."
"I can't. The pain that I have in my heart is one that is self inflicted and I should have to live with it. That is the reason I cannot forgive myself. Because I know that if the truth came out, that I would be put to death and that there is nothing for me to stay alive for."
"There is much to stay alive for Cracko. There is love." Sayla said to him in a comforting tone.
He looked at her and deep into her eyes. She was showing him compassion and her true feelings for him. That she has liked him since she came here and hoped that he would take notice upon her and he never did and that this was her chance to let him see her soul and her heart.
"Sayla why didn't you ever tell me that you care for me?"
"Because I am a shy demon. I admit that I am not good with rejection since I had to flee and come here in the first place. I wanted you to see for yourself what I was and what I could provide but the other girls were always more amusing than just plain old me. So I left you to yourself until I saw you in the gardens."
Cracko looked down at his hands and then back at her face. She was beautiful and he didn't notice before but she was a very compassionate demon. She was sweet and loving and she didn't care what he did in his past. She had already forgiven him for what he did just like Kagome and Sesshomaru do. But could he forgive himself?
"I will leave you to your bathing and sleeping. It is getting late now and we all have to get up early tomorrow for the festivities." Sayla said as she started to get up.
Cracko looked at her with panic in his face. "You are leaving me?"
"Cracko, you will see me in the morning in the great hall." She said as she bent down and kissed his forehead on his insignia. He closed his eyes at her touch and could feel that she was emitting warm comfort to him.
She then went out the door and went to her own bedchambers in the servants quarters. Cracko sat there and stared at his feet. He drank his tea and went and bathed. He came out all clean and dry and got dressed for bed. After getting into bed he fell asleep almost instantly because of the herbs she put in his tea. He did not know that she had drugged him nor did he care. He felt better as time was passing by, his dreams were not scary anymore and he felt renewed.
Kagura felt at first that Cracko was going to go to Sesshomaru and Kagome and tell them what happened. Then she saw Sayla coming with him down the hall to a guestroom, he was wrapped in a blanket and his fur was wet with snow. So he did not go to them and tell them everything. I really hope that he doesn't. I really do feel something for Fitzu and I hope that he feels the same way. And from the look on Sayla's face, she was clearly worried for Cracko. I know that she has feelings for him because of the way she was always short with me when she had to take care of me. But that is all over now. We are going to ask for forgiveness and I am not going to have any more of these regrets. I just cannot live my life like this anymore. Kagura thought to herself.
She then went and bathed and got ready for bed. She curled up in her bed and fell asleep. The whole palace now was silent as everyone was sleeping. The only actions that were going on were of the spirits in the great hall.