theme #19- chante a moi; sing to me (songfic, lyrics of your choice)

I hate songfics...but whatever.

The song is Blink-182's Here's your Letter

Cut the skin to the bone
Fall asleep all alone
Hear your voice in the dark
Lose myself in your eyes
Choke my voice, say goodnight
as the world falls apart
Fuck I can't let this kill me, let go
I need some more time to fix this

Suguru curled up in a little ball and told himself not to cry. It wasn't like anybody knew, so they hadn't taken it into consideration. Well, they rarely took his feelings into consideration anyway, so it wasn't like it mattered.

It had been just a dare. A stupid stupid dare. Just a little fucking dare. That's what Hiro told him- well, not in that many words and not as negative- just before the guitarist leaned down and kissed Suguru solidly on the lips. Nobody would want to be kissed by their band mate. Except for one Fujisaki Suguru. Because he had feelings for the other boy.

Suguru gulped and tried to blink away the burn in the back of his eyes. Despite the fact that he didn't want to cry, tears started to well up in his eyes. "Damnit," he muttered, scrubbing at his eyes.

There was a knock on the door and Suguru immediately froze. He didn't really want to face anybody after the way he had run out…They were supposed to be relaxing in the fancy hotel after their latest concert but he had screwed up everybody else's fun for the night, probably.

"Suguru?" A calm, sexy voice asked. Suguru shot up, the blankets pooling around his waist. Hiro stood in the doorway, his silhouette darkened by the light coming from the hallway into the dark room.

Those dark chocolate eyes were lit with worry and Suguru felt himself fall into them. Damnit. He shook his head slightly, trying to escape the trance. He couldn't do that! "I'm trying to sleep, Hiroshi-san," he said rather coldly.

Hiro looked away. "Sorry," he murmured, starting to shut the door. "Good night."

Suguru stared at Hiro's eyes again and his breath caught. Those eyes shined with apology, but Suguru tried to ignore it. The words wouldn't come out, but he forced them. "Good night, Hiroshi-san." Hiro shut the door quietly and Suguru fell to the bed. And for once, he let the tears come.

Here's a letter for you
But the words get confused
And the conversation dies
Apologize for the past
Talk some shit, take it back
Are we cursed to this life?
Hiro tapped his pen and looked down at what he had already written. What happened, apology, more apology, lies, even more lies, bring up the fact that they were band mates, bring up the lie that he didn't like Suguru, and then apology some more.

He had spent all day writing it while everybody went out, but in the end it was worth it. The letter was somewhat acceptable. And maybe Suguru wouldn't be as cold as he had been to Hiro the night before. Suguru hadn't called him 'Hiroshi-san' for while. The two of them actually had gotten close enough for Suguru to just call him 'Hiro'. And all that work, it seemed, was down the drain.

He leaned back and groaned. And it was all from one kiss. A kiss he didn't regret though. The feelings he felt for the younger boy were more than friendly. He didn't let on to it though.

He folded the letter and walked out of his room. He was lucky though. Suguru was in the hallway, about to enter his own room. "Suguru!" he said. Suguru stopped and looked at him, turning.

"Yes, Hiroshi-san?" Suguru asked, cold, polite. Hiro winced.

He stopped in front of the boy and held out the letter. Hiro held his breath as Suguru took it and read it. Slowly, the polite smile that had been on Suguru's face disappeared and the glint in his eyes faded. A fake smile was forced on the boy's face. "It's okay," he said. "I'm just going to lay down, Hiroshi-san." With that, Suguru entered his room.

Hiro stared at the door for a minute. It had still been Hiroshi-san. Something was still wrong. He opened the door a crack and peeked in…

Fuck I can't let this kill me, let go
I need some more time to fix this problem
I need some more time to fix this problem
I need some more time to fix this

I'm talking to the ceiling
My life just lost all meaning
Do one thing for me tonight
I'm dying in this silence

"Damnit," Suguru cursed. He felt the tears gathering in his eyes. '…I only think of you as a friend, so don't worry…' it had read. He looked up at the ceiling, hoping that maybe the tears would sink back into his eyes and not spill.

He didn't hear the door creak open or the silver of light that fell into the room.

"You really thought he might actually like you, didn't you?" he asked himself, although it looked like he was talking to the ceiling. "You actually thought you might have had a chance, didn't you?"

He growled darkly and rubbed his tearing eyes. "Damnit," he cursed again. He blinked a bunch of times and looked back up at the ceiling. "You actually thought he would like someone as worthless, and cold, and unattractive-."

"I don't think you're unattractive."

Suguru blinked, this time in surprise, and turned. Hiro stood in the doorway, looking at Suguru with a certain glint in his eye.

Suguru paled. He heard everything. Suguru looked away, a blush highlighting his cheeks.

"I don't think you're cold or worthless, either."

Suguru moved his gaze even lower. Nothing was said for a couple of minutes and awkward silence covered the room.

The last star left in heaven
Is falling down to earth and
Do you still feel the same way?
Do you still feel the same way?

Fuck I can't let this kill me, let go
I need some more time to fix this problem
I need some more time to fix this problem
I need some more time to fix this

Finally Suguru looked up. "Well then, what do you think of me?"

Hiro smiled. "I think you're worthy…I think you're passionate, even though you tend to hide it…and I think you're cute…"

Suguru blushed. "Especially when you're blushing like that," Hiro continued.

Suguru's cheeks turned even redder.

Hiro walked up to Suguru and leaned close.

"What about the letter?" Suguru suddenly asked.

"A lie, for half of it. Including the kiss."

Suguru looked up, eyes narrowing. "What?"

"I didn't regret kissing you. What I regret is not kissing you better."

Suguru had an adorably cute confused expression when Hiro leaned down and kissed him. Suguru froze for just a second before kissing back.

Suguru was the one who pulled back. "What do you feel? You said in the letter that you only-."

Suguru was cut off when Hiro kissed his nose. Suguru wrinkled his nose in a cute manner and Hiro grinned. "Remember I said that half of it was a lie?"

Suguru nodded, realization shining in his eyes.

"So…?"

"So what?" Suguru replied, laying his head on Hiro's chest. Hiro smiled, and ran his fingers through the emerald green hair.