Amphibia: Calamity Journey
Chapter 5
Cane Crazy
The day starts off at the Planters House, in the basement where Jason and Anne sleep. They were showing off their stuff to Spring who gasped in amazement.
Sprig: Whoa, Look at all this cool stuff you got. Especially you Jason! Look at all this neat stuff.
Jason shrugs, giving the frog boy a smile.
Jason: It's nothing, just some memories whenever me and my friends hung out. Check it.
He pulls out his phone and scrolls through multiple pictures of him, Rev and Tanner doing multiple poses and some videos where they did some pretty dumb stuff.. Sprig eyes sparkled.
Sprig: Woah, so cool!
He picks up a toenail clipper.
Sprig: What's this? Oh its must be some kind of torture divice.
Anne: That's a toenails clipper.
Jason: But it is torture to actually cut toenails. Like why they gotta be so hard?
Sprig then grabbed Jason's Gameboy Advance.
Sprig: Ohhh, Jason what's this purple plastic screen thing?
Jason: That my froggy friend is a Gameboy Advance. Home to some of the greatest handheld experiences out there.
Sprig turns it on being introduced to the title screen of Battle of Bikini Bottom. Jason sighs as he takes it and puts it back in his bag.
Jason: Note to self, never let little brother play on it before zipping off to another dimension.
Sprig then grabs a bike pump next.
Sprig: Oh! How about this? What does this do?
He put the tube in his mouth and started pumping his mouth full of air. His cheeks were puffy and eyes were big.
Sprig: It's painful!
He deflates himself, flying around the room. He then falls to the ground and finds a finished rubix cube from Jason's sort of the pile.
Sprig: Jason, Jason! What is this?
Jason: That would be my biggest accomplishment yet!
Anne: I thought your biggest accomplishment was eating twenty barritos in one setting.
Jason: That was my second biggest accomplishment. This thing took me about two years to solve and I kept it with me ever since.
He looks back towards Sprig who was fiddling with the rubix cube. Dissolving all the hard work Jason had put into it. Anne cringed as she saw Jason's eyes go wide. You could practically hear cracking coming from inside him.
Sprig laughed innocently as he played around with the rubix cube.
Sprig: This is actually pretty fun! Wish I had one.
He looks towards Jason who was curled in a ball crying his eyes out.
Jason: Two years and all my work just went poof…
Anne pets his head making him lean into his touch.
Anne: Hey, you can solve it again. It won't take that long.
She pecks him on the head, making his mood rise a little.
Jason: Yeah you're right… I'm still gonna get my vengeance any other way.
Sprig quickly changes the subject, grabbing a pen off the ground.
Sprig: Oh, what is this?
He started clicking it rapidly which sounded satisfying to him.
Sprig: Oh, I love this.
He clicked it more, making Jason snort a little.
Sprig: This is amazing!
Anne: You know what, you can keep it.
They then heard a triangle coming from upstairs. Hop Pop called up to them that lunch was ready.
Hop Pop: Kids! It's chow time!
Now in the kitchen Hop Pop scooped out a bowl full of slop and I don't mean the good-bad kind.
The kids were banging on the table chanting 'time to eat' as Hop Pop the slop in the pot.
Hop Pop: Hold on you kids. Hold on.
He then slid two bowls towards Anne and Jason. Looking inside it they both shivered in disgust seeing all the bugs and worms still crawling inside of it. In Jason's bowl something was bubbling inside of it.
Jason had a boost of optimism as he grabbed a spoon.
Jason: Must be one of the bowls where it looks bad, but it tastes…
He scoops up a bit of the slop and takes a bite. What he tastes is the best taste he ever tasted in his lifetime. He slowly swallows it, his face contorting his disgust as he does.
Jason: Never mind… It looks and tastes bad.
Jason held his stomach and not wanting to have the same fate as he boyfriend, Anne pushed the bowl away.
Anne: You know what, I think I'm gonna pass.
This offended Hop Pop as he held a bowl of slop in his hands.
Hop Pop: Why? Isn't my cooking good enough for the princess?
This statement didn't really sit well with Anne. Jason knew exactly what she was blue to do and it was about to be a riot in there.
Anne: Well, if I'm the princess, then you're the king of bad cooking.
It went silent in the room, Sprig even dropped his spoon in pure shock. They then started to cheer for Anne on the roast on Hop Pop. The only one who wasn't shocked was Jason who gave a soft chuckle. He got a glare from Hop Pop which instantly shut him up.
Hop Pop: Oh, yeah? Well, you... I…
Anne: What's the matter, Hop Pop? Frog in your throat?
The two kept on cheering on Anne, Jason now full on laughing at this point. The enraged Hop Pop finally snapped, throwing down his spoon.
Hop Pop: Oh, dang it! You know what? I'm gonna take a nap.
He walks down to his bedroom.
Hop Pop: I don't believe this. I feed you, I house you, and this is how you repay me? If you don't shape up soon, Anne, I'm throwing you out!
He finally slams the door leaving the kids in the dining hall.
Jason: Well he's enthusiastic about sleep.
Anne: What's his problem?
She then did an interpretation of Hop Pop, grabbing her hair like Hop Pop side burbs.
Anne: I'm Hop Pop! I cook badly and have a temper problem.
The kids laughed at the interpretation. Jason , wanting to join in, made his voice like Hop Pop's.
Jason: Was that noise you're making? Laughter?! I never heard of it!
Everyone started bursting out laughing and seeing that he was riling up the crowd he kept on going.
Jason: Jason you must stay focused, the Mando is not a toy you should be playing with. You must keep it safe so you can have a big side burd like mine.
He made his hair just like Hop Pop's and gave out his most serious face. Everyone was now busting out laughing to the point that they couldn't breath.
Jason, knowing he should go even further, grabs Hop Pop's cane. He arched his back like how a frail old man would.
Jason: Eat your aphids, don't play with them. Elbows off the table!
The guys kept on laughing.
Jason: Sometimes I don't know why I bother putting up with you at all!
He slams the cane on the table, trying to just slam the cane on the table in fake anger, the cane split into two.
Sprig and Polly gasped, Anne cringed, Jason's eyes went wide. He scratched the back of his head with a nervous look.
Jason: Looks like I don't know my own strength. Must be all that training with the Mando which I wouldn't call training, but swinging it around at thing which is also basically still training in my general op–
He was stopped by Sprig who put a hand over his mouth.
Sprig: Jason, you don't understand! That wasn't just any cane.
He pointed towards portraits of the older generations.
Sprig: It was Hop Pop's special cane, passed down from his father, Hop Poppity Pop, all the way from his father, Hop-and-Lock-Drop Soppity Pop.
Jason's eyes went even wider than before. He then immediately starts hyperventilating.
Jason: Oh crud! I'm gonna get put out! Dang it Jason, always got to take things too far! Stupid, stupid, STUPID!!!
He banged his head on the table counter when hands grabbed onto his cheeks. Anne pulled her boyfriend up to her face.
Anne: Jason, calm down. There is no way Hop Pop is kicking you out. There is now way you're going back to sleep in a cave.
A flackback when Jason and Anne were sleeping in a cave thunder boomed outside while it poured down raining. They were both hugging each other for warmth while giant bugs and other creatures crawled around them.
It cuts back to Anne and Jason giving a cold shiver.
Anne: The nights were the hardest…
Sprig: Don't worry, Jason, we'll do everything to help you.
Polly: Eh, count me out.
Sprig: Polly!
Polly: What?! I hardly know him!
Jason: Would you help me with some of these?
He pulls out a jumbo sized Hershey Bar.
Polly gasped.
Polly: Candy from another world?! Buddy, you got yourself a deal!
Jason: Glad to hear it! Now let's go save my skin.
Sprig put a spoon full of slop onto the broken piece of the cane, Anne stitched them together, Polly wrapped her bow on top, finally Jason gave a kiss of good luck.
Anne let go of top and they all saw it stand up on its own. They all cheered, but a few seconds later it just fell back apart.
Jason: Ok, that was a bust. We're gonna need a plan b.
Anne: Maybe someone else can? Someone good with... wood?
Sprig jumps up into her face.
Sprig: Anne, you're a genius! We'll just take it to Leopold Loggle, the woodsmith. He loves wood. Almost a little too much.
Jason: How much? Rate it from one to ten.
Sprig: About a solid 9.5.
Jason cringed a little.
Jason: Oh it's that bad… could be worse.
They then all arrived at Leopold Loggles's wordsmith shop. He was checking out the cane looking quite fascinated by the wood he was holding.
Anne: So can you fix it?
Loggle: As a matter of fact, I can... not.
Sprig: Huh. Can you make a new one?
Loggle: Absolutely... no way.
Jason rubs his temples in irritation.
Jason: He's one of those people. Always got to be one of these people.
Polly: Do you have one we could buy?
Loggle: Of course I do... n't. I don't.
Anne: Why do you keep doing that?!
Loggle: Old smithing accident. You don't want to know.
Anne: Uh, okay, so–
She was quickly interrupted by Loggle turning her back on her and telling the story anyway.
Loggle: Tripped on anvil. Landed neck first on a metal pipe. Pierced my voice box clear through!
He showed them the piece in his neck making the girls wretch back while boys looked at it in amazement.
Anne: Dude!
Sprig/Jason: Cool…!
Loggle tucked his bandana back over his neck and removed his goggles from his eyes.
Loggle: Switched over to wood after that. Anyhow, I'm afraid I can't do much for you.
He walks over to a bookshelf, taking a book from the top shelf.
Loggle: That cane was made with wood from the incredibly rare, extremely dangerous Doom Tree!
He opened the book to a withered old tree which looked humanoid in some way.
Jason: Well I have the Mando which basically can cut through anything. So I bet we're gonna be fine.
Loggle: The ancient sword isn't gonna help you if you don't stay focused. The Doom Tree is very dangerous.
Jason looked down at the book when his eyes dilated and got a quick vision.
In the vision he saw the ground rumbling as a large big wooden bug screeches.
He comes back into reality holding his head in slight pain. He looked at the book in morbid curiosity.
Jason: What even is that thing?
He is then brought back into the situation when Loggle starts talking again.
Loggle: Few have made it to the Doom Tree alive, fewer yet returned. It holds many secrets that mortals dare not–
He was interrupted by Anne who didn't seem keen on hearing his tall tail.
Anne: Dude, it's a tree. Just tell us where it is.
Sprig: Yeah, Loggle, cut the chit chat!
Polly: You're bald!
Loggle: Ok, ok… I got a map to the doom tree right here.
He turns a few pages to a small map towards the tree.
Loggle: It'll cost you–
Anne: Click.
Anne took a quick picture with her phone which left Loggle speechless. Jason almost burst out laughing for how silent Loggle was.
Loggle: Or you could do that…for free.
Anne turned to the group.
Anne: Come on guys we gotta hurry. Hop Pop can wake up at any second.
Jason: Yeah, we gotta go save my butt before I'm kicked out.
Polly/Sprig: Right!
As they ran out of the shop Loggle calls out to them reminding them about the curse.
Loggle: Be careful, you kids. It's cursed, I tell ya. Cursed!
Anne: To the Doom Tree, everyone.
Jason: Here we come!
Polly: Whoo-hoo!
Sprig: Yeah!
As soon as he exited Sprig came right back, commenting on Loggles's statue of himself, but with muscles.
Sprig: Whoa, Loggle. We gotta talk about this, man. We're comin' back. We're gonna talk about this. All right, good-bye.
They were now off on their journey. Crossing through multiple spots of the jungle, even a lake. Jason and Anne had to go around while Sprig and Polly swam through.
The group right now was trekking through the dense forest. Jason was chopping through vines and weeds in their way. Anne then put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks.
Anne: Hold up. We're here.
She puts her phone towards the tree which is nearly identical to the one on her phone.
Anne: Man, that is an ugly tree.
Jason: Crikey, an abomination to this world.
Sprig: Just one of Mother Nature's horrible mistakes.
They approached the tree walking past decades of plants and remains of past frog remains.
Polly: Hehe, frogs died here.
Jason: Honestly couldn't be me.
Polly: Same.
They both chuckled walking past the dead remains. Anne looked through the tree and spotted the perfect branch. She and Sprig both climbed up the tree. She looked down towards Jason who didn't seem too enthusiastic about climbing.
Anne: You comin' up?
Jason: I'm good here. Don't want to hurt myself on the way down.
Anne narrowed her eyes.
Anne: When did you care about that?
Jason: It's nothing. Just get the branch and let's get out of here. Quick.
Anne looks at Sprig who just shrugged. She sighs before continuing on climbing.
Jason, left on the ground, tapped his foot impatiently. Polly took notice and nudged Jason in the leg.
Polly: Yo, what's going on with the twitching. You've been acting like this ever since we left Loggles's.
Jason: It's nothing. Just a little chilly that's all.
Polly didn't buy this answer, hopping on Jason's shoulder to get closer.
Polly: Was it that thing you were thinking of back there?
Jason's eyes went wide when he heard this. He looked at Polly from the side with a confused stare.
Jason: How do you know?
Polly: It was kinda obvious. You were just staring into the book for a solid ten seconds.
Jason sighs as he facepalms.
Jason: I wasn't really thinking there. I had some kind of… vision. You know, like a glimpse into the future.
Polly: So what did you see?
Jason: I couldn't really make it out, but it was this weird bug-like creature. It was really… strange.
Polly: Well why didn't you speak to any of us about it.
Jason seems reluctant to say, but she was already listening now might as well continue.
Jason: I didn't want to freak you guys out. I didn't want to see you guys nervous about these types of things and thought maybe if we were quick enough won't have to deal with that thing.
Polly seemed to understand as she nodded her head.
Polly: Well if you did tell us beforehand we could actually be more prepared for that thing to come.
Jason: Yeah… you're right. I just don't know how to say it to Anne.
Polly: Isn't she your girlfriend or something? Of course she's gonna understand. Just got to use that head of yours.
She pats Jason on the head making him smile.
Jason: For a kid you do come up with good advice.
Polly: I have my moments.
They both laughed when suddenly there was a loud roar. Jason on instinct grabbed the Mando from his back and held it in front of him.
Polly: What was that?
Jason: It must be the bug! Looks like it came early!
Jason stood on guard when the tree from behind them uprooted itself and casted a shadow over them. Jason and Polly slowly turned around to see the actual bug monster
Jason: It's actually the tree!
Polly: Should've expected that.
Anne and Sprig out of nowhere fell onto the two, Anne with the branch in her hand. The Doom Tree's eyes bulged out of its wooden carving as it then screeched at them, maple flying at their skin. Sprig gave it a lick and hummed in delight.
Sprig: Oh hey, it's maple.
Jason: We need to get out of here!
They all quickly got up and ran away from the big wooden bug monster. The bug gave chase crashing through trees and stump with its armored body.
Anne: That thing is not a tree. It's some kind of grody bug!
Sprig: A bug that wants to kill us!
Jason: Don't have time for an explanation right now. Now we have to get out of here!
The bug monster swiped at Sprig as he maneuvered through the swipes and jumped over its pointy claws. Jason grabbed Sprig by the collar before the four hit behind a toppled over tree. They waited in silence as the bug monster was seen trying to look for them
Anne on the other hand had bugs crawling around her face. She cringed in disgust as Jason made a silent gesture to keep quiet. Anne couldn't take it anymore as she screamed in fright alarming the bug creature of their location. Jason grabs Anne by the hand as they all booked down a dirt path, bug creature hot on their tail.
Meanwhile at Loggles Woodshop, he was closing down for the night. Locking the door ready to go home.
Loggle: Well, Loggle, another day, another step closer to bankruptcy– Eh?
He was interrupted by the kids pushing him back into the shop and closing the door before the bug monster could get in.
Loggle: What's going on?!
Anne: Don't ask questions!
The monster then stabbed through the door and pulled the whole wall off. Everyone quickly ran away towards the back of the show, Loggle jumping inside a chest to take cover.
Anne: What's it gonna take to get rid of this thing?
She looked around the store and grabbed a wooden chest and chucked it at the bug nailing it in the face. She threw more stuff at it before stopping at a fancy looking coo-coo clock.
Anne: Oh that looks nice.
She then throws it at the bug and hits it in the face. Downside it shattered into multiple pieces.
Loggle: That took twenty years to carve!
The bug advanced onto Anne when a blue beam shined in front of it. Jason stood in front of it with the Mondo out and ready.
Jason: Ok, wood for brains. Time feast on the Monodo's power!
He side slashed at it knocking it back into a whole. The creature screeched and swiped at Jason's head making him duck. He aimed at its legs knocking it unballand and into more wooden carvings.
Jason: Is that all you got? Seems a little wooden.
The bug got its balance back as it rushed at Jason once more.
Before it could make contact it was kicked in the face by none other than Polly who was using wooden limbs.
Polly: Come at me Woody!
Jason: Nice!
The two attacked in unison, Jason ducking under a swipe for Polly to give a chop to the noggin. He then jumped up and back slashed the bug.
Polly sent a kick to the mouth, but in doing so made the leg go flying towards Anne who catches it who with Sprig was hiding behind a chest.
Anne: Charge!
Sprig, wanting to join in, grabbed some sand paper and charged in with Anne.
Sprig: Charge!
Anne swung the wooden leg knocking it in the face. Sprig jumped onto its head and started sanding its face.
Sprig: I'm gonna sand your face!
The bug kicked Polly and Anne away, Jason ducked over it leg and backslashed it body. The bug retaliated by swinging its tail into him and sending him into a wall.
Jason: This thing is tuff!
Then an idea popped into his head.
Jason: Anne, Polly, Sprig, with me!
They all quickly gathered towards Jason, weapons at hand.
Anne: What's up? Got a plan?
Jason: Let's try what I would call a Chain Attack. Once you get a hit in follow up, you got that?
Everyone nodded, Jason smiled as a light shined in his eyes.
Jason: Then let's do this!
They rushed at the bug, surrounding it from each side. Jason backslashes before and hits it with the wooden arm. Polly flailed the wood at the bug while Sprig sanded its legs.
They weren't given a chance for it to attack, making it stumble on its legs.
Jason: Keep going we almost got it!
They kept on with their wild attacks as Jason backed Mondo. Power generated around it when a new power appeared onto the ancient sword.
Jason: Buster!
With a single downward strike he knocked the beast into the wall and slowly the wood cracked in the middle. When it finally reached its point the wood shattered into pieces revealing…a weird, skinny creature.
Jason just slowly covered Polly's eyes while they all had a look of disgust.
Anne: This world is messed up.
The beast, now drafted, quickly escaped through the whole it left.
The team all cheered on the win, giving each other high fives.
Anne: Up top!
Polly: That was awesome you guys! Jason's move was so cool!
Jason: Nothin' much literally just learned it that very second.
Anne: Now let's get this cane back to Hop Pop.
Popping out the chest, Loggle snatches the cane right out of Anne's hand .
Jason: Hey! We worked hard to get that!
Polly: Yeah, what gives Loggle?!
Loggle: I'll tell you what gives! This isn't This doesn't even begin to cover the damages you've caused to my shop.
They all look around to see that the shop was almost completely destroyed.
Loggle: You're gonna have to give me something else. Come on. Pony up.
Sprig sighs as he takes the pen out of his pocket.
Sprig: Will this work?
He gives it to Loggle who looks at it in confusion.
Loggle: What? What is this, uh…
He started to rapidly click it which he thought was quite satisfying.
Loggle: Oh… Oh! I like this. You can go.
They all walked out of the whole in the shop with a sad look.
Sprig: Sorry, Anne. After all, we worked too.
Jason: It's fine dude. Nothing we can do now, but to accept it.
Anne: We'd better head home. Hop Pop's probably already awake and furious.
Polly: Probably a bad time to bring this up, but I still get the candy, right?
Back at the Planter's Farm, Hop Pop finally woke up from a long day nap.
Hop Pop: Whoa, boy. I needed that. Hope nothing happened while I was asleep to make me mad again.
He looks to see Jason and Anne with their bags packed. This slumped with sadness.
Hop Pop: Oh no, what did you do?
Sprig: What's up with canes? Who even needs them, am I right?
He was punched in the shoulder by Polly shutting him up. Letting out a sigh, Jason decided to tell Hop Pop the truth.
Jason: I'm sorry Hop Pop. I was fooling around and broke your came into pieces.
He gave the pieces to Hop Pop.
Hop Pop: You what?!
Jason sighs once more as he picks up his backpack.
Jason: Don't worry, I'll leave the place immediately.
He walked towards the door when he was grabbed by the shoulder by Anne.
Anne: I'm coming with you.
Jason: But Anne–
Anne: No buts! If you're leaving then I'm leaving.
Tears slowly formed in his eyes, making him quickly wipe them away.
Jason: Thanks, Anne.
He was then tackled to the floor by Sprig and Polly who hugged into his chest.
Sprig: We'll come visit you guys. We promise!
Polly: And just when I was beginning to like you!
Anne joins into the hug crying with them. Jason, trying to be strong, tried to keep the tears in, but they were slowly breaking through the walks.
Anne: Don't make this harder than it is.
Jason: I'm gonna miss you guys!
Hop Pop, looking in complete confusion, decides to interrupt this tearful.
Hop Pop: W-What are you talking about?
Anne: You're throwing me out. You know, like you said you would.
Hop Pop sighs.
Hop Pop: Mmm. Anne, Jason, truth be told, I was never gonna throw you out. I was just talking tough so that you'd show me a little bit more respect.
Anne: That's kinda messed up, man.
Jason sniffs as he rubs his now puffy eyes.
Jason: Bruh, you were playing with my heart strings. I had the cave I was gonna sleep in and everything.
Hop Pop gave a soft chuckle.
Hop Pop: Yeah. I probably was a little bit too harsh. But I only did it because you remind me of myself when I was your age. Rough around the edges. Now, put that bag down, you young people. You're not going anywhere.
Jason: Thanks, HP. So you're not mad about the cane?
Hop Pop: Oh, I'm furious about the cane. You're on dish duty for a month!
Jason wallowed in sadness again, giving a tiny salute.
Anne: Awww. Yes sir…
Hop Pop: Now that that's settled, I wrote a long list of comebacks to get you back for this morning.
He takes out a scroll he worked on and cleared his throat.
Hop Pop: "Hey, Anne, is that your hair, or is it a dandelion?" Ha. Uh-- Oh. Are those long, lanky limbs, Anne, or are those, uh, twigs? Ah! Eh…
Everyone didn't seem too enthusiastic about his roast. It just felt a little sad actually.
Hop Pop: The moment has passed, hasn't it?
Jason: Long ago.
Now in the basement, Anne and Jason were setting it back up. They rolled out their mattresses and plopped onto them.
Jason: Oh yeah, it feels good to be back.
Anne: Yeah, I actually thought we were about to be kicked out.
They both laughed when Jason decided to ask Anne a question.
Jason: Anne, can I tell you something?
Anne: Yeah, you can tell me anything.
Jason: Well it is about when I talk about it with Polly and… I have this thing where I can kinda look into the future…
He waited for an answer who nodded her head.
Anne: That's cool.
Jason: …You don't think it's weird?
Anne: Why would I? I think it's pretty cool. Can you see into the future?
Jason: Kinda, it isn't really active on command and more in the form of just tiny little pieces of puzzles.
Anne: Why would I think that's weird? It seems pretty useful and could help us. Why'd you keep away from me?
Jason sighs as he lays his hand on his head.
Jason: I don't know, it happened suddenly when it first happened and it only started happening when I got the Monodo.
He grabbed the Monodo which was leaning on the walk beside his mattress. He looks into the reflection on the sword.
Jason: I just didn't know how to tell you.
Anne peered into Jason's eyes and grabbed his cheek making him look into her's.
Anne: Jason, we've been dating for a good six months and been friends for longer. I know nothing you do is weird, but just you being you.
She puts a hand onto his chest.
Anne: That's the guy I fell in love with and even with this sword you wield nothing's gonna tear us apart.
A tear almost dropped from Jason's face before he wiped it away. He gave Anne a smile as she laid her head onto his lap.
Jason: Thanks, Anne.
He looks out the window looking into the midnight sky.
Jason: I hope they are too.
The End
Speed: Wahoo! That was an awesome chapter to write. A good 8/10 write right there.
The only problem I have is that I forgot something. When I went into the wiki to find out when Shulk gets the Buster Art for the Monodo I forgot THAT IT WAS THE FIRST! FLUFFING! ONE–
~This broadcast is interrupted by Speed destroying his office out of sheer anger over forgetting something so minimal~
I pushed the title card out of the way.
Speed: Hey, it wasn't minimal! Also you work for me.
Sorry about that, I lost my cool there. Now to the preview!
Anne and Jason are gonna introduce the Planter's and the town to the new dish for a potluck, but some ingredients are harder to find in this world than the others. Get ready for…
Hop Luck!
Later Speedsters!