Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one you recognise.

Hi there hunnies. This is just a little idea that popped into my head when I was listening to Distance by Faktion. I really strongly suggest that you listen to that song while you read this fic, it will help you get what I was thinking when I wrote it.

Keep Some Distance

I saw you again today, you were laughing at something someone had said. I wanted to come over to you, to talk to you but I couldn't. I knew this would happen, I knew it would change things between us. How could it not change things?

I can still hear you sometimes, when I close my eyes. All those beautiful words you whispered to me still echo in my head. I'll never forget the way you'd touch me so lightly, the way you smiled at me, a smile that could make me melt. I gave up our friendship for that smile, that touch. I would have given up everything without a second thought if you'd let me, if you asked me to.

I can't talk to you anymore and that hurts. Sometimes I wonder if it was all worth it, to throw everything away for one night…my head says no, we were stupid to think it wouldn't matter but my heart…my heart says something completely different.

You asked someone the other day if I was avoiding you. I guess I am, I don't want to but I have to. Whenever I'm near you I just want to fall into your arms again but I can't…I won't let myself. I have to keep some distance between us. I hope you understand why.

I don't know if I love you but I know I do feel something for you, something I shouldn't. I was unfaithful for you; I became a cheater to be with you. I never thought I could do that to anyone but you got into my head and changed everything. You changed me. I know you think he deserves it but he doesn't, no one does. I don't think you realise how much that night messed me up. I wish I could tell you…

I don't know why I'm writing this now; I guess I just need to get it out of my system. I want to tell you these things to your face but I can't look in your eyes anymore. That night we had together was the best night of my life but it was also the worst. Part of me wants to turn the clock back, go back to the way things were.

I wish I could talk to you like we always used to. You were my best friend and I miss you. I need to stop thinking about you like this. I should never have let myself get so wrapped up in you. Damn you for getting to me like this, for making me feel this way. If things were different, if I was different…maybe it would have been more than just one night and maybe I wouldn't be writing this….maybe we'd still be friends.

I'm sorry I lost you.

Yours always

Amy.

I fold the letter in my hands and walk to his locker room door. I knock once to make sure he isn't there before I slide the sheet of lilac paper under the door.

"I miss you John…" I whisper softly before I turn on my heel and walk down the hall.

ok hunnies i know its very very short but i hope you like it anyway. and i really hope you all listened to that song coz i had it on a constant loop while i was writing. :)