This chapter's a little bit short. Oh well. I'm the author and I don't care! MWAHAHAH!

Disclaimer: I own only my own black cat, who likes to sleep in frying pans. He is an odd one. Yet, he was my inspiration. I even was contemplating changing his name to Vinnie-poo after this idea popped into my kooky head. However, my mom told me that Vinnie-poo was a weird name, and that I was obsessed with video games… HA! WHAT DOES SHE KNOW! …Ahem.

I was feeling quite good after I took a few elixirs and a couple of pills later I was definitely my old self again.

Oh, I count the ways I love thee, morphine.

I had put on a normal kimono too, since I wasn't leaving with everyone. It had a simple lotus flower design, with lots of color. My hair was getting longer too. Long enough that I could pull it back into a small bun. My hair grows like a weed so it was always such a hassle keeping it cut short, especially when we would journey into the middle of nowhere, trekking for weeks on end. My roots were practically laughing at me.

I had even managed to get the last warm rice cake Chekhov had made on the way out of the palace. Everything was pointing to a fabulous warm day, until I walked into the weapon shop.

"Morninggg!" I said eagerly to everyone.

I gave everyone a little wave and shut the door behind me. Everyone seemed to be picking out something. I noticed Vincent's belt was full with materia too. That was weird. He usually didn't load up on materia. What's he got on?

"Wait…" I said, looked closely at all the materias and gasped a little bit, "OMIGOD!"

"What?" Vincent asked.

"NOOOO!" I howled, running over to him.

I tried to pull at the yellow materia I knew too well, but it was useless. It was already stuck there.

Dammit! This isn't good! Gotta hurry!

"Where's Ranho?" I asked, shaking a little, "Where's Ranho!"

"Uh, he went to get some coffee I think," Cloud said, "What's wrong?"

Shit shit shit!

I ran over to the front door and held it open, screaming, "Ranho!"

Soon, the short store owner came running over to me. He was panting by the time he stopped in front of me.

"Yes, lady?" he asked.

"Look!" I said hysterically, pointing at Vincent's belt, "Didn't you tell them!"

Ranho looked at Vincent and then down to Vincent's belt. His face puffed out as he realized the materia that was equipped.

"Forgive me!" Ranho said, dropping to the floor, bowing at my feet, "I didn't even think about it! It's so common for everyone to know that I just forgot!"

"What can we do!" I said, still pretty hysterical.

"I'm afraid there's nothing we can do now!" Ranho said desperately.

I sighed heavily, looking sadly at Vincent, "Rise, Ranho."

I walked over to Vincent and calmly placed my hand on his shoulder, however awkward it was, since he was a good foot or so taller than I.

"I've got some bad news," I said, staring into Vincent's probing red eyes, "You've equipped the Cat Fu materia without knowing what it does, and what it will do to you."

"Huh?" Tifa interjected, "Materia that has side effects?"

"A really long time ago, the Cat Fu was the pride of Da Chao, and we worshipped its greatness. It was the most easily attainable destructive power we had ever known. It didn't take too long to master and it had vast strengths and abilities. However, Leviathian, upon seeing this, cursed the materia. Cat Fu is now almost impossibly to attain because of the curse resting on it."

"And this curse?" Vincent said calmly.

"Cat Fu, upon equipping it, cannot be removed and…"

"And?"

"And will turn you into a cat."

"What!" Cid exclaimed, "What kinda bullshit is that!"

"I'm afraid you'll only be human for another half hour," I said, still staring at Vincent, "If that."

"How long does the transformation last?" Red asked.

"We aren't sure," I said, dropping my hand down to my side, "The Cat Fu has only been equipped one other time before, by a pesky tourist, and it passed out of his system after a week or so. But for a person who was actually a warrior, it may last until he or she learns and understands the Cat Fu."

I looked over at Vincent again, who was now looking positively distraught. My heart ached for the poor guy. This was probably really sucky news to him.

"What about Midgar?" he mumbled.

"Well, a big 'ol cat like Red is one thing, but if you're gonna turn into a little kitten, I don't think ya oughta go," Barrett said, scratching his head, "But who'd look after ya? You're gonna need somebody to depend on now. Somebody who'll feed ya and water ya and scoop your fuckin' poop. Marlene likes cats but I guarantee after about a week she'll be forgettin' to feed ya. Hell, you might even starve to death."

"We're all going to be too busy helping the people at Midgar that we won't have time to take care of you either!" Tifa said, "What should we do? Should we postpone?"

"We can't," Cloud said urgently, "There are still people alive and trapped in Midgar's ruins! We're the strongest group around and we inspire people now. They look up to us. If we back out, we might indirectly be killing those people. I can't have that on my conscious."

"Calm down, calm down," I said, waving my arms, "Duh, everyone, it's okay! I wasn't going to start with! There's plenty of food in Wutai! I can take care of him!"

Everyone got deadly silent. I swear I heard a cricket chirping. They seemed to all be looking at me, sizing me up, except for Vincent, who sadly looked at the Cat Fu materia, probably cursing himself. Hell, I would.

"What'dya looking at me like that!" I said, waving my arms around again, "I can feed Vinnie, no prob! I'll have Gorki on poop control though."

"We don't really have any choice," Cloud said finally, looking over at Vincent.

"It's fine. It's not your predicament anyway," Vincent said.

"We're sorry," Tifa said, "But you'll be okay here. Hopefully…"

"What'dya mean HOPEFULLY!" I said, continuing to wave my arms, "What do you people think of me anyway! I'm not a homicidal cat killer! He will be absolutely 100 percent safe and happy with me."

"Duno 'bout that 'happy' shit," Cid said, taking a deep drag from his cig, "But I feel for ya Valentine. I hope she won't drive ya outta your fuckin' mind. I sure as hell know that I'd slit my throat before I got left here with her."

"HEY!" I yelled, "Why don't you shut your fucking mouth!"

"Why don't you open your fucking mouth so I can stick my spear down your fucking throat!"

We cussed at each other until Vincent dragged me behind his crazily tall frame and said, in a very final tone, "Enough."

"Tch," Cid said, flicking his butt to the floor and stomping it viciously out.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Tifa asked.

"I'll be fine. There's no where else for me to stay and Yuffie has generously offered," Vincent said, "So I will graciously accept."

Suddenly Vincent gasped loudly and he began to change rapidly. He vanished into his cloak and after it had plopped onto the floor, a small, black fuzzy cat had leaped out. He looked up at me with red eyes.

The transformation was complete. Vinnie was officially a cute widdle black cat.

I dub thee Sir Fuzzy Butt!