Author's Note: This was not the story I intended to write. My first story was a fluffy piece of happiness, and I had intended to continue the story and write more of the same, instead this came out. Apparently if you don't feed your fluffy plot bunnies, they turn into starving angst bunnies that are out for blood.

Keep in mind I use Australian English spelling, so realize = realise and color = colour etc. Things are occasionally corrected to the American spelling by the care of the spell check. Currently no beta readers. If you find errors feel free to point them out.

Disclaimer: Don't own star trek, and I don't profit for this. The story and all original characters are my own.

The labyrinth is one of my favorite movies, and with the recent death of David Bowie, I have decided to use some of his songs from that movie as prompts, as a small tribute to the man. And if you are a labyrinth fan, you will find quite a few references in this work.

No one can blame you for walking away

Too much rejection, no love injection.

Life can be easy

It's not always swell

Don't tell me truth hurts, little girl

'Cause it hurts like hell'

Underground, David Bowie

CHAPTER 1: No One Can Blame Her

Amanda was eating rocky road ice cream and wondering how even her random food choices seem to be mocking her.

He had stood her up again.

She understood he had an important job to do, he was the Vulcan ambassador to Earth. As such he had to respond to a crisis or even the hint of one. It was, however, frustrating as hell to have three dinner dates and a trip to the opera cancelled in the last two weeks alone.

And this time, he had not even bothered to cancel himself. An aide had called her and informed her that Sarek would not be in attendance.

She had thought about going anyway but realised she would likely be harassed by the media about the absent ambassador. Amanda really could not face questions tonight like, "Where is the Ambassador, why is he not here?", and worse, "Have you broken up?", when she wasn't even sure of the answers herself.

Amanda sighed. He had not even forwarded an alternative time to meet. She worried that perhaps it was an indirect message that he was no longer interested. Maybe it was all a big mistake on her part.

So many people had told her that he could not love her, that ultimately this relationship would fail. She had thought them all wrong. Was she starting to believe them? After a string of what felt like rejections, it was getting difficult to ignore all the warnings, cautionary tales, and even threats she had received when it was made public that the two were indeed a couple.

And what had he done to convince her that he did, in fact, want her? A dance at a ball, when he normally danced with no one. A private meeting where he had stated his intention to court her. Invitations to other functions, several public dinners and one memorable private one.

What had been most important to her was not the outward social trappings, but the times they spent alone, just the two of them. Their discussions had ranged from Vulcan language to Earth idioms, from poetry to politics, from the principles of logic to the practice of emotion, from science to culture, and from their respective pasts to their shared future. Then there had been the quiet companionable silences when he had tried to teach her meditation. And most importantly, the times when he touched her, and she felt his presence in her mind.

Yet that had all been weeks ago. Recently the meetings had become infrequent, and it was never just the two of them. She hadn't even seen him or spoken to him directly in two weeks. She'd received only a few messages from him, a couple to arrange meetings, and an equal number to cancel them.

She felt like he was pulling away from her and she didn't know why.

She took out her communicator and briefly considered calling just to hear him, but no. His aide had said he was in a meeting. She considered sending a message but knew even if he could respond he likely would not. He thought messages were for conveying necessary information and didn't see the need otherwise. If she sent a message saying she missed him, he would think it was just illogical sentiment and would not reply.

Briefly, she considered calling her mother or friends, but could not bear the various versions of, "I told you so," that were sure to follow any hint of complaint about the relationship. Also, she knew Sarek was a very private person and she had no wish to reveal anything personal that might get out. Some of her so-called friends and even some family members had talked to the media early on in their relationship. This had caused a great deal of tension and break of trust between her and them. It had also earned her a talking to by

Also, she knew Sarek was a very private person and she had no wish to reveal anything personal that might get out. Early in their relationship, some of her so-called friends and even some family members had talked to the media. This had caused a break of trust between her and them. It had also earned her a talking to by a rather terrifying Vulcan protocol officer. Not an experience she wanted to repeat even if she had not respected Sarek enough to want to protect his reputation.

With no one to call, Amanda put down her communicator.

Pity party for one then.

She allowed herself to indulge until she completely finished the ice cream and started feeling a little ill, then told herself to get a grip. She realised she had a decision to make. Given the circumstances, was this relationship something she wanted to continue?

Certainly, there were difficulties. Having a relationship with someone from such a different culture, let alone a different species, was not easy. They often disagreed or failed to understand each other. He was also very committed to his job and spent long hours at work. While he tried to make time for her, that obviously hadn't been working out so well lately.

Despite all the challenges they faced, she still wanted this relationship. From their very first meeting, there had been a strong connection between them. As she had got to know him in person, she had found Sarek to be intelligent, thoughtful, and even charming when he chose. He had never seen her as less than him despite the differences in the social standings and abilities. He had always been respectful and accepting of their differences, making great efforts to try to understand her and accommodate her needs. And when they were together, she felt complete in a way she could never explain even to herself.

Sarek had become a very important part of her life. She would not choose to part with him.

Yet was it even her choice, or had it already been made for her?

Sarek had been so distant lately, and she had a feeling that there was more to do with it than just work. As time passed she had become certain that he was hiding something from her. Yet when she asked what was wrong, he always replied, 'Nothing is wrong'.

The last month she had become resolved to find out what he was hiding, but their lack of privacy when together had afforded her no opening. And now … She couldn't find out the truth if he wouldn't even speak to her.

Surely he would get in contact with her soon. He always rescheduled, or at least contacted her to let her know that he would not be available. When he did call, she would ask to discuss things with him in private.

But he hadn't even bothered canceling himself.

Did he still want her?

She was afraid of the answer to that.

Hopefully, she was misreading things. This was not the first time cultural differences had caused misunderstandings between them. Sarek was by nature very introverted and extremely private about personal matters.

He had needed to learn how to talk to her. Sarek was a very elegant speaker when it came to matters of stellar cartography, conjugation of Vulcan verbs or the proper way to conduct a tea ceremony. But ask him about himself, and he shut down. It was not intentional, he just didn't know how to communicate such things.

Vulcans rarely talked of their personal lives. Those that needed to know, where usually either present or very close family to which they had telepathic ties. They just didn't have the need to share so much about themselves verbally. However, she had needed to understand him, to know him, and she didn't have another way to do so.

Gradually she had shown him by example. She told him of her years on Earth, and her travels off-world with her scientist parents. In return, he told her about his home and childhood on Vulcan and his travels in his adult years, first as an astrophysicist and then a diplomat. He had even started speaking of things that were important to him, things he had told no one else. Yet he still sometimes had trouble communicating or perhaps sharing.

It was clear to her that something was bothering Sarek, yet he had remained silent on it. Whatever it was, whatever was wrong, she had to convince him to talk about it. He had to let her in if this relationship was to succeed.

Well, whatever happened, she wasn't going to resolve this tonight. She cleaned up and got ready for bed. It was an early night for her but it had been a stressful evening.

OooooOoooOooooOooooO

When no message arrived the next morning she told herself not to panic. Sarek had likely finished his meeting quite late at night. Nor did he have the need for constant communication as she did. He would contact her when had something to tell her. Likely, he would wait till he knew his schedule to avoid another missed meeting.

She busied herself with chores and groceries. Soon enough evening came again, but she still hadn't heard from him.

So what if he hadn't called. He was probably in the middle of a trade negotiation or whatever meeting had kept him away last night. Such things often took days.

But he had always let her know before.

On Monday, she had to return to work. Still no message to ease her fears, she nonetheless made herself get ready and get on the downtown bus. She did not look at her phone once during the day, focusing her mind on encoding the Vulcan language into the universal translator.

Well okay, maybe she checked it once after it beeped to indicate a received message, but it was not from him.

Perhaps she needed to make the next move here after all.

After arriving back home, she called him. When the call didn't get answered, she left him a message that asked him to get in contact with her at his earliest convenience.

OoooOoooOooooOooooO

Another two days passed and he still had not contacted her, even after she left four more messages that varied upward in their desperation.

When she received yet another message that was not from him, she almost burst into tears. She was feeling particularly upset today, but of all the times to nearly lose it, she would have to be at work. Her colleague Sarah noticed her distress and asked her if everything was alright.

Of course, Amanda had lied and said everything was fine, just some trouble with the code. Amanda didn't think Sarah believed her but she had let it drop.

Amanda tried to lose herself in her work so she wouldn't think of him.

The week continued with no contact from him. She began to feel sudden bursts of anxiety, and at nights, she woke in a cold sweat. Not one prone to panic, she couldn't work out what was happening to her. Amanda had been in far worse situations than this without experiencing anything of the like.

Early Saturday morning, Amanda had had enough. She needed to see Sarek, to speak to him in person and get some answers.

Sarek was often busy, and his schedule changed frequently depending on the most pressing issues were at the time. She had no way to know what he would be doing at any particular time or where exactly he would be. Because he was often not easily accessible, she had got into the habit of letting him determine when they would meet.

She realised she had let the fact that she didn't have a scheduled time hold her back, but she wouldn't anymore. Amanda would go to the embassy and wait in his room all day for him if she had to. He would eventually return there, even if it was quite late.

Decision made, she grabbed her purse and her coat. Checking the times for the bus, she made a run for it.

OoooOoooOooooOooooO

Never once during the journey did she expect to be denied entrance to the embassy. But here she was outside the locked gate with a very unhelpful guard.

Technically the embassy had the right to keep her out. She was not a Vulcan citizen or a legal representative of Earth. But she had always been permitted to enter. Sarek had ordered it so.

The guard would only tell her that he was following orders. He refused to answer whose or if it was a general ban or her in particular that was denied entry. Amanda was strongly suspecting the later.

Just as she was reaching the end of her patience and the height of her suspicion, she saw the object of her desire exit the building. He appeared to be walking towards a waiting ground car. A moment of anticipation. She prepared to shout and get his attention. But the cry died in her throat. To her absolute shock, she observed someone exactly three paces behind him. In the place, only a bondmate would be, followed the most beautiful Vulcan women she had ever seen.

Surely no one can blame her if she fled. With her worst fears realised, she ran before he could see her before she might have to face him.

She stopped several blocks away in a park and pulled up her coat hood lest someone see the tears streaming down her face. It would not do to be recognised right now. Walking into the cover of the trees, she tried to still the sobs that shook her body.

Well, that was it then. It was over. Sarek had married another.

He'd made it easy for her, the decision had been taken out of her hands. Their relationship was not to continue.

Why did it hurt so much?

She stayed awhile in the park, wandering aimlessly through the gardens. Eventually, her feet took her out of the park and into the streets. While she paid no attention to which direction she went, she nonetheless found herself at her own door many hours later. The tears had stopped long ago. All she felt now was emptiness and exhaustion.

Entering into her apartment, she kicked off her shoes by the door and then made her way to the bedroom. Once there, she practically fell into the bed, and with effort pulled the blankets up over her.

The last thing she thought as she fell asleep was, "Why did they all have to be right?"