Note from Layla: Remember, Bob is a wooden doll, a.k.a. dummy. Just remember that.
Episode 3:
Announcer: On the last episode of Soap, Jodie came out of his trance and realized that he is not Julius Kassendorf, but Jodie Dallas. Mary had an intervention with Burt and Geraldine and claimed that Geraldine turned Burt against her. Is that true? Now that Danny and Annie are going to place Chester in an asylum, will he get better?
Confused? You won't be after this episode of SOAP!
Asylum:
(Annie and Danny are with Chester)
Chester: There are crazy people here, Danny.
Danny: Dad, they are not crazy.
Schizophrenic: Morty, I tell you that Shelly is cheating on you.
Chester: Whom are you talking too?
Schizophrenic: Morty. Can't you see?
Chester: No.
Schizophrenic: Then you must be blind (leaves)
Chester: Danny, please, don't make me stay!
Danny: Dad, you need help. It's either this or jail.
Chester: Annie, please talk to him.
Annie: Chet, I agree with him.
(Dr. Malloy comes to them)
Malloy: Hi, you must be Chester Tate. I am Dr. Malloy.
Annie: Hi, I'm Annie.
Danny: And I'm Danny.
Chester: And I'm gone (Starts to leave, but Danny stops him)
Malloy: We don't bite here, Mr. Tate. Why don't you say goodbye to your son and-.
Chester: Slut.
Malloy: Slut?
Annie: That's what they call me.
Danny: I won't let them call you that anymore. She's my fiancé doc.
Malloy: Congrats.
Danny: Thanks.
Malloy: Now be a good lad and say goodbye, Chester.
Chester: Goodbye, Annie, Danny.
Danny: Goodbye dad. Everything is going to be fine, you'll see.
Chester: (whimpers) don't leave me here!
Annie: Goodbye Chester.
(Annie and Danny leave)
Eunice's Room:
(Eunice is sleeping with Alan)
Eunice: You were great.
Alan: I was? Is that what you tell your husband?
Eunice: No! You were good.
Alan: Now I went from great to good. Why?
Eunice: Alan, I just remembered that I was very fond of the guy with the stocking cap on.
Alan: Eunice!
Eunice: Oh Alan! I like sleeping with you, but I love Dutch. I don't know why, but I do.
(Corrine walks into the bedroom and sees Alex)
Corrine: Eunice! How could you do this to Dutch?
Eunice: Alan, look at the time. It is time for you to go.
(Alan climbs out of the window)
Corrine: Eunice, how could you?
Eunice: What?
Corrine: Dutch loves you so much. How could you do this to him?
Eunice: I don't know. Corrine, what are you talking about?
Corrine: You are cheating on Dutch…just like daddy cheating on mother. You are just like daddy in every way, Eunice.
Eunice: How so?
Corrine: You cheat compulsively, you chew like he does, and you sound like him half the time.
Eunice: How do I sound like daddy?
Corrine: Your voice and tone of the lower brow.
Eunice: I do not sound like him and I diffidently do not eat like him.
Corrine: You do to! You take tiny morsels of foods and chew little bits and pieces like him.
Eunice: I do not!
Corrine: You nibble Eunice!
Eunice: Fine! I nibble! So what?
Corrine: You are unfaithful to Dutch!
Eunice: So I am unfaithful, gee wiz. At least I know what I want.
Corrine: At least I do not wake up with a spasm (exits)
Pool House:
(Danny and Annie are lying next to one another)
Danny: Annie, you were great.
Annie: Really?
Danny: Yes, you were.
Annie: Oh gee, thanks Danny.
Danny: Annie, I love you.
Annie: I know you do.
Danny: I can't wait to marry you, but where will we live?
Annie: I don't know.
Danny: We can't live with Burt and mom because there is Wendy, Jodie, Maggie some of the times, Chuck, Bob, and Scotty.
Annie: Maybe we could live here. I would have to ask your aunt though. Sometimes I think she does not like me very much.
Danny: Why?
Annie: I was married to Chester.
Danny: So? She was too.
Annie: Chester left her for me.
Danny: My mom told me that they filed for divorce way before you came into the picture. It only became official after you started dating him. Besides, nobody likes dad.
Annie: I did.
Danny: I liked him for giving me his kidney.
Annie: I'll talk to Jessica later.
Danny: About what?
Annie: About living here. I think she might let since you are her nephew.
Danny: I am, aren't I?
Annie: Oh Danny!
Billy's Room:
(Jessica enters Billy's room as Billy is packing his bags)
Jessica: I guess you are going away.
Billy: Don't worry Ma. It won't be too long. I just want to travel and see the country.
Jessica: You like to roam, just like your father. Only he liked to roam with company. I won't say anymore.
Billy: I know what you mean, ma.
Jessica: I can't believe that you graduated from high school, Billy. It seems like yesterday when you cried because you struck out at little league. Then you dated your teacher and rescued me from death and then you became a general.
Billy: I know.
Jessica: Oh Billy, you'll always be my baby, because you are the youngest.
Billy: I know ma. I got to see if the cab is here.
Jessica: No matter where you go Billy, you will always be my baby boy. (Hugs him and then kisses him) I love you so much, son.
Billy: I love you too ma (goes downstairs as Jessica looks at Billy helplessly)
Tate Living Room:
(Jessica is playing solitaire as Annie enters from the Pool House)
Annie: Hi Mrs. Tate.
Jessica: Hello Annie. Want to play cards with me? I was playing solitaire, but I hate it because you can't play it with anybody else like gin or hearts.
Annie: I'm pretty good at gin.
Jessica: Okay (deals the cards out) ready?
Annie: I guess. Mrs. Tate, I need to talk to you about something.
Jessica: Gin! What about?
Annie: About Danny and me. Gin!
Jessica: Is it because you two are in love?
Annie: Yes. Gin!
Jessica: I see.
Annie: Mrs. Tate, can Danny move into the pool house with me until we save up enough money for a place of our own? (Puts the cards down) gin!
Jessica: Sure! No problem!
Annie: Thanks.
Jessica: After all, Danny is family. He is my nephew you know and he is also my stepson. So is he really my stepson or nephew? What should I refer to him as? This is confusing.
Annie: I know (puts her cards down) Gin. I better go call him and let him know the good news.
Jessica: Annie, you are good, at gin that is.
Annie: Thanks, Mrs. Tate (goes into the kitchen)
Campbell House:
(Chuck and Bob enter the house with the mail)
Chuck: Look Bob, we got a postcard from mom.
Bob: I have not seen Luann in years! I wonder if she still has those legs of a goddess…
Chuck: Bob!
Bob: (reads the postcard) It says that she is coming here! Chuck your hot mom is coming here!
Chuck: Mom is not really going to come here. She says that every year at Christmas time and she never shows.
Bob: I bet she will if I call. She always said that I was a doll. What's her number?
Chuck: 123-4590.
(Bob calls Chuck's mom in Hawaii)
Bob: (on the phone) Hi Luann (chuckles) Oh, you want to talk to Chuck (Chuck gets on the phone)
Chuck: Hi mom. I got your postcard. Are you really going to come over?…great! I can't wait…what?…Peter?…He died about four years ago, mom…didn't dad sent you a letter about that?…He was murdered by Chester mom…Mary, dad's wife's brother-in-law…we buried him…mom, are you still on the aspirin?…what back problem?…So are you coming over?…Great!…I love you too…bye (hangs up)
Bob: So is Luann coming over?
Chuck: She says so.
(Burt comes into the living room)
Burt: Hey fellas. I fixed the toilet upstairs. Imagine, the Sheriff of Dunn's River still unclogging toilets (chuckles).
Chuck: Dad, I have some great news for you. Mom is coming in from Hawaii to visit us.
Burt: Chuck, you know that she says that, but never does fly in. We'd be at the airport waiting in the terminal for two days and still, no Luann.
Chuck: Dad, we called her and she said that she is going to come in.
Burt: Which one of you two talked to her?
Chuck: I did.
Burt: Chances are that she might come in.
Bob: Once she sees me, she won't be able to take her eyes off me (giggles)
Burt: Pervert!
Chuck: Dad, are you okay with this?
Burt: Fine! Great! My ex-wife is coming over and my current wife is in rehab. What could be better?
Bob: I liked her better than I do Mary.
Burt: One more word from him and he is sawdust. I have to go clean the garage (leaves the house)
Bob: What's his problem?
Chuck: Bob, dad has had it rough with Mary being in rehab and having to take care of Scotty.
Bob: And?
Chester's group therapy:
(Chester is sitting with a group of people talking about his problems)
Chester: I can't help but still love Jessica.
Dr. Malloy: I see. Chester, doesn't it occur to you that Jessica still does not love you? You cheated on her.
Chester: It's an illness.
Dr. Malloy: Bull! Now remember that you are on your own now. Jessica has her own life to live and so do you. Annie has her own life to live and so do you. Just try to accept that Chester.
Mary and Beth's Dorm room:
(Mary is in bed tossing and turning. She screams in her sleep and Beth wakes her up)
Beth: Mary! Mary! Mary! Wake up!
(Mary wakes up panting for air)
Beth: It's okay Mary. It's okay.
Mary: Thanks Beth. I'm sorry. Did I wake you?
Beth: Yes you did. Are you all right?
Mary: Yes.
Beth: Mary, I've been watching you.
Mary: You have?
Beth: I can't help but notice that you are unhappy here.
Mary: I am. I have a life out there. I have a baby, a granddaughter, and a husband out there. I can't be with my husband here as much as I can be out there.
Beth: I understand. I can't be with my boyfriend as much as I want to. He is in prison. He got me hooked on the stuff that landed me here.
Mary: I know. I remember from the group therapy sessions.
Beth: I remember your husband's intervention.
Mary: Geraldine set me up.
Beth: Geraldine's a witch.
Mary: Tell me about it.
Beth: I have some advice for you. Roll with it. That's what I did my first time here.
Mary: First time?
Beth: I was here once about a few years ago because I bought dope from an undercover police officer and now here I am again because I needed help. I am doing this for the kids.
Mary: Kids?
Beth: My daughters Betty and Clara. I never get to see them because Tommy's mother's a witch and thinks that I am the bad influence.
Mary: I'm sorry.
Beth: No problem. What are you sorry about?
Mary: Your problem with dope.
Beth: I had that problem for a while. It's not your fault.
Mary: I feel bad for you. I get to see my kids and husband and here I am complaining about being in here and only getting to see them for about an hour twice a week and you never get to see your family. I am so sorry for being selfish.
Beth: It's okay Mary. You want to be with your baby through this time, but you can't. You want to raise him, but you won't get to really raise him.
Mary: That is not true! I will get to raise him no matter what!
Beth: I hope so. I just hope for your safety that once you get out, you will realize that there is no turning back. Why do you think I am back here?
Mary: What do you mean?
Beth: Once you see that hooch on the shelf, there is no turning back.
Rehab:
(Burt and Mary are sitting on the couch talking as Mary plays with Scotty)
Burt: Mare, only one more day.
Mary: I know. I can't wait to come home to be with you and Scotty and the boys.
Burt: Mare, there has been some changes.
Mary: Like what?
Burt: Jodie is no longer an old Jewish man and Danny is going to move in with Annie.
Mary: That's wonderful! Danny is moving in with Annie?
(Burt nods)
Mary: I hope this one works for him. He has the worst luck with women.
Burt: I know. Elaine was the mobster boss's daughter and she got killed, Polly was black, Gwen was a hooker on the run, and now Annie.
Mary: I guess I should just sit back and watch what happens.
(Scotty cries)
Mary: Oh Scotty (rocks him back and forth)
Burt: He's starting to talk now.
Mary: What was his first word?
Burt: Ga.
Mary: Oh. I missed it!
(Chuck and Bob enter)
Chuck: Hey Mary.
Bob: Hey Bloody Mary (to Scotty) Hi baby Scotty.
Scotty: Ga!
Bob: Awe!
(Geraldine enters)
Geraldine: Visiting hours are over.
Mary: I guess you all better get going.
Burt: Mare, we'll see you tomorrow.
Mary: Goodbye Burt, bye-bye Scotty, see ya Chuck, Bob.
Bob: Bye, Bloody Mary.
Chuck: Bye Mary.
Burt: See ya, toots.
(The Campbell's exit leaving Mary alone. Beth goes over to Mary and sits next to her)
Beth: One more day for you, Mare.
Mary: Yes.
Beth: You think you can handle it?
Mary: What do you mean?
Beth: When you see that booze on the shelf, there is no turning back.
Announcer: Now that Mary is getting out, will she stay sober or pick up her old habits again? Now that Danny is moving into the pool house with Annie, will he be living with his fiancé and Aunt or is it his stepmother and aunt or his two stepmothers? Now that Scotty had said his first word, what will his second word be?
These questions and many others will be answered on the next episode of SOAP!