Announcer: On the last episode of Soap, Chester was committed to an asylum because Danny and Annie claim that he is an unhappy and emotionally unbalanced man. Mary is about to leave rehab, but is unsure about her future. Danny moved in with Annie since they both are engaged.

Confused? You won't be after this episode of SOAP!

Campbell House:

(Burt is in the kitchen with Danny and Jodie gathering all of the booze)

Burt: Okay Jodie, take this and throw it away.

Jodie: Okay (pours the Jack Daniels down the drain and throws the bottle away)

Burt: Good.

Danny: Burt, should we throw the Nyquill away?

Burt: No, why?

Danny: Because it is five percent alcohol.

Burt: Don't worry it takes fifty-percent alcohol to get a person drunk.

Danny: Really?

Burt: Yes.

Danny: Wow! You learn something new everyday! So should we throw the rubbing alcoholic out?

Burt: Why?

Danny: Because that is 100 alcohol.

Burt: No, because if you drink that kind of alcohol you will die.

Danny: Oh.

Jodie: Hey Burt, did we get the scotch?

Burt: No! We better get that out of here!

(Chuck and Bob enter with a waste can full of bottles)

Burt: Where did you get those?

Bob: From your room and Scotty's nursery.

Burt: She must have really been trying to escape reality.

(Burt and Jodie leave the kitchen. Mary enters from the back door)

Mary: Hi Danny.

Danny: Hey mom (hugs her) I missed you.

Mary: I missed you too. How's Annie?

Danny: You're not mad?

Mary: No, why would I be?

Danny: Because she was married to Chester.

Mary: She's more your age than his age, so why should I be mad? Besides, anything anybody else in this family does anymore does not surprise me anymore.

Danny: She was my stepmother.

Mary: I know, but she and Chester are divorced.

Danny: That's right.

Mary: Danny, you always have your doubts about every relationship you ever had with a woman. You were worried when you were dating Polly because she was black, you were worried about dating Gwen because she was a hooker, and now you are worried about Annie because she was your stepmother. Each one of them failed because you were focused on one thing. That thing should not determine whether or not she is suitable for you.

Danny: You're right. Thanks ma.

Mary: Don't mention it (kisses Danny)

(Burt and Jodie enter)

Burt: hey look! Mom's home!

Jodie: Hey ma!

Mary: Oh! Jodie! (Kisses him) You're better!

Jodie: I could not get through without Maggie.

Mary: Maggie is a great woman.

Jodie: Yeah, she is.

Burt: Mare! Let's take your stuff upstairs.

Mary: Okay, then I have to see how my baby is doing.

(Mary and Burt leave the kitchen)

(Jodie sits down at the table and Danny sits next to him)

Danny: you seem upset about something.

Jodie: I am. I'm confused Danny. Aren't I gay?

Danny: I guess so. Maybe you swing both ways.

Jodie: I love Maggie, but I love men. I like men and their masculinity.

Danny: I don't know what to tell you.

Jodie: I would like to talk to mom about this, but right now she has a lot on her mind.

Danny: Yeah, but she will be back to her normal self soon.

Tate House:

(Danny is in the pool house unpacking and Jessica enters)

Jessica: Well Danny, how do you like living in the pool house so far?

Danny: Very nice. I actually get some peace and quiet from all of the chaos at home.

Jessica: Things are not going so well at home, right?

Danny: Yeah.

Jessica: With your mother going into rehab and coming out and Burt basically alienating the whole family. I guess things could get rough.

Danny: I guess so.

Jessica: Danny, if you need somebody to talk to, you can always count on me.

Danny: Thanks Aunt Jessie.

Jessica: Anytime. I want to invite you and Annie to dinner tonight since Benson is coming over.

Danny: We would like that. I'll let Annie know.

(Jessica exits and Danny plops onto the bed and the phone rings. Danny answers it)

Danny: Hello?

Mary: Danny, it's mom.

Danny: Hey mom, how are you?

Mary: I'm fine. Are you settled in?

Danny: Yes. I have been settled in for quite some time now.

Mary: How is your aunt doing? How are Corrine, Eunice, and Dutch?

Danny: Fine. How's everybody doing?

Mary: Fine. Fine. Danny, come home! You and Annie can move into grandma's room.

Danny: Ma, I am home. I am living in my own place with Annie.

Mary: You are living in a pool house, Danny.

Danny: So? It's still a house.

Mary: I know. I guess I just miss you.

Danny: I miss you too Ma.

(Wendy Cries)

Mary: That's Wendy. Jodie is at work and Maggie is at work, so I am taking care of her. Burt just told me that his ex-wife Luann is coming over, so I have to get the place cleaned up.

Danny: Okay, I'll talk to you later. I love you.

Mary: I love you too.

Danny: Bye.

Mary: Bye, Danny (hangs up)

Dining Room:

(Corrine, Timmy, Eunice, Dutch, and Jessica are sitting at the table)

Eunice: I can't believe that tramp. She slept with daddy and now she is sleeping with Danny.

Dutch: At least Danny is her age.

Eunice: Shut up Dutch!

Dutch: Just because our sex life is in the toilet does not mean that you have to be so cranky.

Corrine: I think Annie's nice, Eunice.

Eunice: You think so, just because you weren't here when she was sleeping with daddy.

Corrine: Just because she may sleep around does not mean that she is not nice.

Eunice: Are you speaking from experience Corrine?

Corrine: But then there is something to be said for those who cheat on her husband.

Eunice: Touché

Dutch: Am I missing something?

Eunice: No darling.

(Corrine gives Eunice a dirty look)

Jessica: No arguing at the table please.

(Danny and Annie enter)

Danny: Sorry we are late, Aunt Jessie.

Jessica: Quite all right, Danny.

Annie: Hi Mrs. Tate.

Jessica: Annie, you can me Jessica. After all, you were married to my ex-husband and now you are engaged to my nephew, or is he my stepson? Anyways, Danny has been family for about twenty-seven years.

Annie: Okay, Jessica.

(Saunders enters the room with dinner)

Saunders: What do we have here?

Jessica: You know Danny. He's living with Annie in the pool house now.

Saunders: First Billy leaves and then you gain this oaf.

Danny: What loaf?

Saunders: I said oaf not loaf, you nit.

Danny: No, my name is Danny, not Nick.

(Benson enters the room)

Benson: Sorry I am late, Missus Tate.

Jessica: Benson! (Gets up and hugs him)

Benson: I'm glad to see that you are all right, Missus Tate. Sorry I could not stay at the hospital too long. I had to go back to Gaitling's mansion. He said that I could only stay away for a few hours. He sends his regards.

Jessica: How is Gene?

Benson: Gene is fine.

Jessica: Oh Benson, please sit down. Saunders set another place at the table.

Saunders: Yes madam (goes into the kitchen)

Benson: Chester is gone, eh?

Jessica: Yes. He and I got a divorced, then he married Annie (Annie waves at him) and now Annie is divorced from him and she is going to marry Danny.

Benson: Two divorces in one year, my oh my.

Jessica: There is so much that happened here when you were gone.

Benson: Nothing never changes, don't it?

(Jessica nods)

Jessica: It is so good to see you again.

Corrine: Benson, remember this little guy?

Benson: That can't be Timmy.

Timmy: Hi.

Benson: He's cute.

Corrine: Thanks.

Benson: Where's Tim?

Corrine: We are divorced.

Benson: That does not surprise me.

Corrine: Everybody saw it coming.

Benson: I know.

Jessica: Could we talk about something else?

Benson: Sure. I got fired.

Jessica: Why?

Benson: Governor don't like me. I seem to know too much.

Saunders: Fired? I guess that means you need another job.

Benson: I guess so.

Saunders: Well you can have this job because I do not need the stress and aggravation from these animals anymore.

Benson: Are you sure?

Jessica: Saunders, you don't like us?

Saunders: Like is a very weak word Mrs. Tate (goes into the kitchen)

Jessica: Welcome back, Benson! (Hugs him) I missed you!

Eunice: Mother! Hugging the help?

Jessica: Now Eunice.

(Eunice sits back and pouts)

Campbell Master room:

Mary is tossing and turning in her sleep and Burt wakes up

Burt: Mary!

Mary is still tossing and turning in her sleep

Burt: Mare!

Mary is tossing and turning in her sleep

Burt: Drinks are on the house!

Mary wakes up

Burt: Mare, are you okay?

Mary: Fine.

Burt: You were tossing and turning in you sleep. That must have been some dream.

Mary: Burt, I don't know if I can make it without a drink. I know that I promised that I would, but I don't know if I can. What if Beth was right and once I see the hooch on the shelf staring right back at me, there is no going back?

Burt: Mare, you are different. You were a strong woman who does not need emotional support from a bottle. I will help you lick this thing once and for all. You know what, while you were away, I read about this method called substituting food with sex. Maybe if we could substitute drinking with sex, it will work as well.

Mary: Oh Burt! What if you are at work and I am at home and I am feeling a little lonely?

Burt: Call me up and we will work something out.

Mary: Okay. Burt, I have a craving for a martini.

Burt: How many?

Mary: A very tall dry martini.

Burt: Okay starts making love to Mary

Announcer: Will Mary and Burt lick her drinking problem with sex or will she remain a hopeless alcoholic? Will Billy come back home to visit or will he stay away? Is Benson back to stay? Are Danny and Annie going to find happiness together or will Chester's insanity ruin it? Will Dutch ever find out about Eunice and her lovers? These questions and many others will be answered in the next few seconds of SOAP.