Disclaimer;
Tis not I whom art thy owner of thine Beyblade.
Kennedy belongs to RampantChaos, and yes, I DID ask her permission before writing this. A few minor changes were made to her, but RampantChaos knows about it and is ok with it all. Btw READ HER STORIES! The one with Kennedy in it is called The Life Of A Six-Eyed Monster. It's a beyblade AU fic about teen life and it kicks MAJOR butt! To RampantChaos; You should SOOOO become a pro-author. But DUUUUUDE, you have GOT to update! ;;
-Last time-
-/In Riley's POV/-
I looked up at Rei, feeling tears form in my eyes, but they didn't fall.
"Riley?" he asked, looking up and frowning as he saw the dampness in my eyes.
"Thank you, Rei. You don't know how much this means to me."
-/End of Riley's POV/-
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Blow the last candle out.
let the wax harden
I wish I could stop crying.
I wish someone still loved me
Just breathe and focus.
how can I when the air is so cold and empty
That my lungs froze right in my chest
I'll be honest the silver linings
are getting harder and harder to manufacture
And the smiles are so difficult to fake
What do I have to do, or who do I have to kill
to get what I want. What I need.
Happiness is an emotion I was born to this world without,
nothing pleases me. I cannot be satiated
Through this toil I will breed my own distress
and destroy my best hopes,
fuck up the only things I love.
I WATCHED MY DREAMS DIE.
I watched my aspirations crash to the ground
on the backs of the angels that I've slain.
But I meant so well, I tried too hard,
gave every ounce of my soul, to what end.
Desolation,Desire,Exhale;
Pass away.
- A Song For The Optimists,
Atreyu
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Watch Me Fall
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Chapter 8
Lost
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---A/N; THIS IS IMPORTANT! I put it in the disclaimer but since it's rare that people read those, I'm posting it here too. Kennedy isn't mine, she belongs to RampantChaos, but I changed a few things about her so she could fit into my story more. Nothing too drastic and all with RampantChaos's permission, of course. Thank you RC! D
-/Riley's POV/-
"Thank you, Rei. You don't know how much this means to me."
"Riley, I-" Before he could finish his sentence, the phone rang. He looked in its direction, then in mine, sighed and went to go and answer the phone.
I just sat there. Everything had just finished sinking in; my life as I once knew it was going to be changed forever; no more loneliness, someone to turn to. . . how could life get any better?
Rei soon came back, a serious look on his face.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"That was my parents. It turns out that we have some things we still have to do back at the old house."
"Oh yeah? Like what?"
"Well, nothing too important. Remember Mariah, Ozuma and Mariam?"
"Of course."
"Well, their parents decided to throw my family a going away party, so we have to go to that. There are also a few things left in the old house that we have to bring over, mostly Kennedy's things. Plus loads of chores to 'help accommodate the new family' are left."
"Kennedy?"
"Yeah, she's my sister. We're twins."
"You have a twin? Cool!"
And we continued talking until it started to get dark. It was time for me to go home.
/-/-/
The happiness lasted the whole way home and stayed with me until I walked into my empty room, then it dawned on me. Rei was leaving. I would be walking in to school tomorrow, but alone. He wouldn't be there.
It made me a little sad, but knowing he was going to come back gave me the strength to decide to live out the days before he came back. I had someone now, and that filled the void Tala and Kai had ripped open when they abandoned me, and more.
/-/-/
-/The Next Day, At School/-
I walked to school and stopped in front of the large double-doors. I swallowed hard and pushed them open. Nothing inside had changed; kids were still cramming stuff in their locker, bitching about how evil their teachers are, ignoring me. Which felt odd. Here I am, feeling like a completely different person, and no one notices. Then again, I'm grateful no one is noticing me. Mostly meaning I'm glad I haven't seen Tala, Kai or their little airheaded fangirls.
I stopped dead. Did I just insult them? I smirked. Yeah, I'm definitely a different person now. Before, I never would have dared to insult them in any way, even in my mind because it seems as if they can read my thoughts. But I don't have to be scared of that anymore. I won't let myself be afraid of them. I refuse to let them ruin my life. I'm moving on, I've finally found a different path to follow, and I won't hesitate to take it. I've stayed in the past too long, and I should know Tala and Kai better; they won't change because of someone. They're just two jerks that are power- and popularity-hungry. I don't need them!
I've never felt so confident of myself before!
"Well, well, well. If it isn't the freak." Said a feminine voice from behind me. Without even looking, I knew it belonged to Mandy, Tala's girlfriend. My self-esteem plummeted.
I looked behind me and, sure enough, there was Mandy and Jessica, with their little sidekicks following closely behind them like dogs on a leash.
I couldn't understand what Tala saw in her. Underneath her massive amount of makeup, her half-open button-up top, her micro-mini pleated white skirt and high-heeled sandals, she had nothing special. She was just there to please. She wasn't faithful. And neither was Jessica, Kai's girlfriend. Why couldn't those two see that? Were they really that blind, or were they just in on it for the play? No, Tala and Kai weren't like that. But then again, I guess they are. Well, not Tala and Kai, not the ones I once knew, but I suppose their 'new and improved' selves are.
"Aren't you going to say hi?" asked Jessica in her usual snobby tone. Did she really expect me to bow down and kiss her feet? Not anymore. I had Rei as a friend now, and I don't need to be someone's puppet. Rei showed me that I had a backbone. I'm going to use it. I'm going to show them all that I'm not going to be walked on anymore. I'm going to fight back.
". . ."
Easier said thought than done.
"Well?" said Mandy impatiently. I looked away and started spinning the lock on my locker to put my books away and take the ones I needed for my next course. Just ignore them, Riley. Ignore them and maybe they'll go away. . .
"Hey freak, I'm talking to you!"
I swallowed hard and continued ignoring her. This was my time to prove to myself and to everyone else that I wasn't a doormat.
"Listen to me when I'm talking to you, freak!" she said, glaring at me.
"I have a name." I said, facing her, hiding my nervousness behind a bold stare and a strong voice.
"What did you say?"
I swallowed hard and took in a deep breath.
"I said, I have a name."
"Ya, I know. You're The Freak, freak."
"No I'm not. I'm Riley."
She shot me a venomous glare.
"Are you talking back to me?" Mandy said, shoving me.
Uh oh.
"What's going on here?" said a strong male voice that demanded authority. We all looked and saw Mr. Bates, the math teacher.
"Is there a problem?"
"Why of course not, Professor." said Mandy, twirling a loose strand of her hair and giving the teacher the most innocent look she could possibly make.
"Um, no. . ." I answered, staring at my feet.
"Good. Now I suggest you head up to your classes before I give you all a detention for starting up this commotion."
I picked up my books and started to head to class. Mandy walked past me and hit my shoulder as she whispered;
"You'll pay for this, freak. This isn't over yet."
/-/-/
I've been watching my back since this morning's little confrontation. Nothing has happened so far, but I don't think Mandy is one for empty threats. You can tell how relieved I was when I heard the end-of-the-day bell. I went to my locker to get my stuff out and get home. I got to my locker and started spinning my combination. I was taking my time today and there was hardly anyone else in the hall now.
I grabbed out all the books I needed and headed off towards the large double-doors. I heard some footsteps behind me. I quickened my pace. I pushed through the doors and got outside. Great, it was cold and windy today. But at least I was safe from them. I put my hood up, hitched my bag up higher on my shoulder and headed to the bus stop. As soon as I took the first few steps, something pushed me from behind. I lost my balance and fell onto the hard, mud-covered asphalt.
"You are like, the most clumsiest person on the face of the planet. You're such a total freakazoid!" snickered a voice from behind me. I didn't even look up. I knew it was Mandy, coming to prove her threat from before.
I slowly got to my knees and picked up all the books that had fallen out of my bag onto the wet ground.
"What, aren't you going to say anything?" said another taunting voice. Jess. Never one without the other.
I stayed silent. Maybe if I didn't say anything or had no reaction, they'd just go away?
"Hey, it's rude to ignore people! Psh."
"Yeah, didn't your mom ever like, teach you manners or something?"
I continued to stay quiet.
"What's your problem?" said Mandy. I saw her foot pull back, but I didn't have the time to stop it before it hit me in the stomach. I groaned and doubled-over. One of them grabbed me by my hair and yanked my head up. I cringed.
"What the hell is your deal? You're such a loser! But I bet you already knew that, right?" she snickered.
I half-opened my eyes and looked down. I wasn't feeling anything now; I felt almost dead. I'm sure it showed in my eyes.
"Gross! Mandy, look at her eyes! They look all like, glazed over and stuff!"
I felt my head be thrown back as I came into contact with the cold wet concrete once more.
"What are you? Like a zombie girl? Pff, as if!"
"You know what, Jess? I think she's on drugs! The Freak is a stoner!"
"Yeah, Stone the stoner!"
They started laughing at their little joke at my expense.
/-/-/
I slowly walked down my street from the bus stop. I looked at Rei's house. No car in the driveway; no light on in the house. No one was home. I sighed and walked up my driveway, put the key in the lock and went inside. It was dark. No wonder. Mom and dad are never home at this time. Mom comes home around suppertime at the earliest and Dad, even later.
I closed the door, switched on the lights, took off my dirty clothes and headed to the bathroom. I needed to take a shower and wash all that mud off before my parents got home.
After the shower, I decided to go straight to bed. The sooner the day ended, the better.
/-/-/
I woke up earlier this morning; even before my alarm clock went off. This was good; at least I'd be able to grab some breakfast before going to school. I got dressed in my usual baggy clothes that I seemed to float in and put some makeup to hide the well-formed bruise on the side of my face. I made sure to wear long sleeves. Then again, I've been making sure to wear long-sleeved shirts know for awhile now.
After finishing getting dressed, I packed my bag and went downstairs.
"Hi sweety! How have you been? You were already in bed when I got home last night!" said my mom from behind the counter.
"I wasn't feeling too great. But I'm doing better now, thanks." I said, managing a convincing smile.
"That's good. Oh and your father and I won't be home till late, so I froze some tuna casserole for your supper. All you have to do is pop it into the oven for a few minutes, okay?" she said, looking around in her purse.
"Yeah, sure."
I hated fish.
"That's great, so I'll see you tonight if you're still up, have a good day honey!" she said as she ran out the door.
I made myself a bowl of cereal and ate it slowly, staring into space, thinking about everything and nothing at the same time.
I washed my dish, dried it and put it away after noticing that I still had time. I slipped on my shoes, grabbed a jacket and my bag, then set off for the bus stop.
/-/-/
The day passed slowly, but peacefully as I tried to stay out of everyone's way. Before I knew it and yet not soon enough, the lunch bell rang. I took my time and slowly, ever so slowly, picked up my things and dragged myself to my locker. Someone had taken a permanent marker and drawn all kinds of curse words directed at me.
"Bitch", "Hag", "Loser", "Go Die" and "Freak" were only but a small number of the messages my classmates had so kindly written to me.
I sighed and closed the locker after taking out my lunch. I headed towards the girls' bathroom to eat it. Yes, the girls' bathroom. Did you really think I'd have a place in the cafeteria among normal people?
I didn't think so.
I closed the seat and sat down, opening my lunch. A sandwich, like always. I forced myself to eat it, even though it felt like I was going to throw up after every small bite. I gave up, putting it back into the bag. I looked to see what else I had packed for myself. A pudding. Looks like I forgot to pack a spoon. I took in a deep breath and exited the bathroom, deciding to head towards the cafeteria to get one.
I heard some laughter behind me as I walked the halls. I decided to speed up. No one else was there, everyone was supposed to be either outside or in the cafeteria. So getting caught alone with a group of people who most probably hate your guts really isn't a good idea.
"Hey, it's the stoner!" yelled a female's voice from behind me. Jess.
Oh no. Please, just let me go peacefully. . .
"Yo, Stoner! Smoked anything strong recently?" yelled a boy's voice from the crowd behind me.
I glanced back and saw Mandy, Jess, Kai, Tala and their little popular people posse. I quickened my pace, trying to ignore their taunts.
"Hey loser, we're talking here!"
I flinched.
They caught up to me and circled me. I backed up until I felt my back hit a locker. I saw one of the girls smirk. My eyes widened. This wasn't good.
"You know what, Stoner?" she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "You. Suck. You are the ugliest person on like, the face of the earth. You know what would do everyone a huge favor? If you just went and killed yourself!"
"Yeah," continued another. "Because you know what? You're not good enough for this world. You're nothing. You're worse that a bug! You just sit there and waste air."
"You're like a cockroach. An ugly, sick, stupid, gross cockroach!" A girl shoved me and I fell over onto one of the guys.
"Aw, sick man! It touched me!" He said in a completely disgusted tone as he violently threw me off him. I spinned and hit a locker, a corner hitting me in the back. I somehow managed to stay standing.
"Go crawl under the rock you came from!" shouted another.
"Cheh, you know what? You're like, like a bug or something! Nobody likes you because you're such a total pain in the backside!" said another boy as he pushed me harder, making me fall to the floor once more.
"And like, you know what else, Stoner?" continued one of the girls. "You should be squished!" she said as she stomped on my leg. I cried out in pain and grabbed close to myself.
"Ha! Or better yet, totally exterminated!" laughed another.
I saw two of them take out cans from their bags and started shaking them. Then they took off the caps and pointed it in my direction. My eyes widened as I saw the label; it was bug poison in a can. I didn't even have the time to close my mouth before they started spraying me with toxic liquide.
"No more, please!" I begged, sheltering as much of myself as I could with my arms. I could feel the spray seeping through me clothes, into my hair, on my face and enter my mouth.
"What? 'More please'? Sure, be our guest!" snickered one of the two people with cans. The rest just laughed. I could feel bile wanting to raise in my throat. I forced it down.
"No! No, stop! Don't -/cough/- No!" I said. My throat was starting to burn and hurt even more when I spoke. More spray entered my mouth as I pleaded for them to stop. I coughed again and my throat started to hurt even more, but only more liquid entered my mouth.
All of a sudden, I felt the spraying stop. I opened one eye. I saw the top of the cans being unscrewed. My eyes widened.
"N-no. . ." I coughed. My throat was now searing with red-hot pain and I felt bile raise again, but I forced it down for a second time.
Their smiles grew bigger as their arms pulled back. I shut my eyes and mouth and raised my arms to protect my face hardly a second before they splashed all the contents onto me. They started laughing again. I started coughing again, and that burning sensation grew a million times worse with every time. I was coughing so much that I couldn't even stop to catch my breath. They laughed harder.
I can't breath.
"See you later, loser." One of them said as they left me alone, gasping for breath, trying to stop coughing. One of them kicked me as they passed.
I coughed and coughed. My throat was on fire. Make it stop, make it stop! Please! I can't breath, someone, anyone, help me! I sank lower to the ground, still coughing. I wrapped my hands around my neck. It hurts, it hurts too much! I felt the bile raise again, but I couldn't stop it, I threw up. But the more I threw up, the more it scratched at my throat.
Until it slowed down and stopped.
I sat there on my knees, gasping for breath while rubbing my sore throat. Once my breathing came back to normal, I looked around. It wasn't a pretty site. I looked down at my clothes. It stank of insecticide as the liquid dripped to the floor from my soaked clothes. I whipped my mouth with my sleeve and looked down.
Why did they do this to me? All I wanted was a spoon from the cafeteria. Is that somehow bad? Yes? No? I don't know. All I know is that I was nearly poisoned today by people in my own class, and I feel horrible, dirty and useless. I'm going to go home now, away from everyone else for the rest of the day. I'll clean up, so it looks like nothing has happened, and I'll lock myself in my room and bleed away the pain.
And no one will notice a thing.
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Hi everyone! Tis me. . . so as you probably noticed, I've posted this chapter and also a chapter of Half the Sugar, Twice The Spice in the same day. Why? Because I lurve you all and decided to post a chappy of each for the Christmas holidays! (what a macabre way to end a chapter posted during the holidays, huh?)
-.--.--.-HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYONE!-.--.--.-
But there's also a mini little problem here; (yesh, always a downside -/sniffles/-) I'm going away for the holidays and when I get back, I have to study for my mid-terms. Study as in I had better pass these well or I am in VEREH deep shit. That means that I'll only be able to START writing a chapter in early february at best. I'm sorry, but please don't throw things at me! -/cowers/-