Wonderful World
An AU parody inspired by "As Good As It Gets"; beta-read, reviewed and edited by Howling WereWolf.

Sorry I took so long just to get this out; turns out Jimmy did call Marco and Lexi after all; I was under "house arrest" ( they think I'm too old to be just "grounded" ) until I recovered - Christmas Day. Turns out resting did me a big favor after all; I feel a whole lot better now.

Cid hastily got out of the way as a little wet thing zipped into his shop, leaving a trail of wet spots all over the floor. It finally stopped long enough to be identified, panting.

Cid paled as he realized what the thing was up to. "DON'T YOU DA-"

Too late.

The little creature shook itself thoroughly, spraying water in every direction. Cursing nice and loud, Cid grabbed a towel and threw it over the shaking animal. Covered by said towel, the thing stopped its shaking and was still.

Cid took this opportunity to examine the damage. Water droplets dripped off the lower of a wall, water patterns were streaked on the floor, bench and chair legs were slightly more prominently colored by the moisture, even his pants and shoes were dark with the water that had soaked in.
Shaking slightly himself, Cid glared disgustedly at the towel-covered critter, he finally mustered the will to point at it and curse softly.

"...you're dead."

The mound under the towel shrunk as the animal flattened submissively.

Cid resigned himself to shaking his head in irritation as he grabbed a rag and threw it on the floor, wiping up the water patterns. "...we don't have no dog food here, and we don't want no dog food here. You'll eat what we got; what we eat."

There was no answer from the towel and the little mound under the towel. As Cid picked up the now heavily damp rag, the towel lifted slightly again and started to move across the room as discreetly as possible.

Dumping the rag into the laundry bag in the corner, Cid turned sharply and barked at the towel. "Don't you do anything!"

Immediately, the towel stopped and flattened slightly once again, this time making no more moves.

Cid spit out his straw as he disappeared further into the shop. Moments later, he reemerged with what was leftover from the lunch he ordered and saved for such an occasion: three-quarters of a bacon cheeseburger and one sausage in meager cheese sauce, both on disposable plates.

Setting the plate of sausage and cheese on the table, Cid pried open the burger and removed the lone strip of bacon, laying it next to the sausage. Finally, he set the plate of one bacon, one sausage and cheese sauce down on the floor. Pulling up a chair, he sat down and waited.

The towel did not move.

Cid leaned back on the rest, and gestured with a jerk of his head. "Go on; that's yours."

The towel did not respond.

"Suit yourself...pissant mutt," Cid muttered, picking up the burger and biting into it. Turning slightly, he turned on the radio.

click

"-I tried so hard, and got so far,
in the end, it doesn't even matter.
I had to f-"

click

"Freakin' hell, I hate that stupid song," Cid growled, turning the radio off.

In the returned silence, there was a soft munching sound. Cid looked down again to see the puppy's head emerged from the towel, little teeth working their way eagerly through the bacon.

Cid watched until it moved on to the sausage, then sighed heavily and went back to his burger.

After the nurse had all but chased them back outside, Sora and Riku were left with one top priority mission.

"...well."

"..."

"... How are we going to find one small border collie puppy in Traverse Town?"

"Try digging through our paper bin?"

"That joke's a little old, isn't it?"

"It's the truth."

Before Sora can reply, his mobile starts to vibrate. Pulling it out of his pocket, he takes the call.
"...Hello, S&R Recycling."

"Are you the Shit or the Rat?"

Sora blinked, then answered the caller that both he and Riku knew all too well.
"...this is Sora speaking. Can I help you, Mr. Highwind?"

"I've got the dog here, so come get him."

Sora froze. The future suddenly seemed to dim drastically. "...you... I'm sorry, what?"

"Don't make me repeat myself, you dang little ninny! Now get your stubborn ass down here, and get it outta my place!"

beep!

Sora remained frozen to the spot for a while, listening to the droning beep of his cell in his ear. Finally, he lowered the mobile and looked toward the older.

"...ah...Riku? About the dog..."

Slamming the phone back down, Cid spat his second piece of straw out. "Damn dustbin boys..."

The puppy licked up the last of the cheese sauce on the plate, and burped.

"Sheesh, your darling Mamma and Pappy never teach you any manners?" Cid commented, not exactly expecting an answer either way.

The puppy yawned and smacked its lips. Then it took one look at Cid and flattened itself on the floor again.

"Spineless little nit," Cid growled, swiping up the plate and dropping it into the nearby waste bin.

The pup watched Cid quietly from the corner of its eye. Slowly, carefully, it started to crawl toward the bigger man. Finally, it came to a halt five inches away from his heel.
In these unfamiliar surroundings, any amount of security he could get off any familiar figure was all it needed to get through this.

Cid looked down and spotted the still damp little critter huddled near his leg, and muttered, "stupid little pissant wimp."

Suddenly, there was a flash of dark gray as a giant rat sped by the wall, immediately catching Cid's attention. Cid was about to cuss up a storm and give chase when an idea came to him.

"Hey, you; you want to earn your keep here, then do something useful." As he addressed the little bugger near his heel, he nodded in the direction that the rat had sped off to. "Fetch that thing."

Immediately, the pup jumped up and ran after the rat, yapping his little head off as both disappeared around the corner. Soon, there was a muffled squeak.

Cid guffawed. "Disgusting; that runt is a wimp! Nothing but a spineless, gutless little-"

ptoo

Cid's eyes widened in shock as the wet but still perfectly unharmed rat bounced off his boots and skittered away again.

Sitting near his foot at the five-inch mark, the puppy stared up at him with a disgusted expression that could almost easily be translated into words:
You bloody fool, that was a rat you made me put in my mouth.

Then, before Cid could catch on, he turned and whizzed on the man's pant leg before scuffing the ground and scampering off.

Cid stared after it, stunned and immobile, a smooth streak of dog spit and rat stink across his boots, and a large patch of dog piss on his pants.

Finally, he shook his head, choking out befuddled laughter.

"...I'll be damned; guess that little bugger's got some spirit in him, after all."

Meanwhile, Sora was in a panic.

"We can't tell Cloud about this; he'll freak!"

"And Leon would gut and stuff us with their combined collection of 'Get Well Soon' cards and flowers," Riku mused.

"You're not helping!" Sora yelped, plentiful images of the enraged duo murdering them in cold blood with hospital equipment going through his mind.
"Look, we just gotta get Angelo back as soon as we can-"

"And then what? Sora, you know we can't keep a dog in our place."

"We could find someone else!"

"Who's going to watch a dog for three months at such short notice?"

"Then suggest something!"

"Let's start with sitting down and breathing."

Sora did just that. Riku waited patiently for his colleague to calm himself before stating his piece.
Sora listened to all of it, then paled as he caught on.

"...Riku, no."

The sound of a truck pulling up drew Cid outside, now in his socks and a fresh pair of pants, the soiled articles soaking in a basin. Hefting open the door, he looked outside. The rain had stopped by now.
"You took your time al-"

A leather leash and collar flew into his hands.

"-right. What are you doing?"

"Thanks for looking after him!" Riku called out, turning the still running truck around to leave.

Cid realized what was going on a second later than he preferred. "...wait a freakin' second! Come back here! You can't do this to me!"

"Have fun with each other, Mr. Highwind!" Sora called as the truck drove away.

"HEY! I can't take no dog; nobody's ever been in here before!" Cid hollered after the truck, still stuck inside the building due to his lack of boots. "...hey, fellas? Boys? Bubs...?"

They were already gone.

"...aw, shit."

Cid retreated back further into the building, warily searching for the puppy that was now doomed to stay in his building for who knew how long. He finally found it curled up near the heater, exhausted from that long, long day.

As he stared at it, then at the soiled clothes still soaking in the tub, then back at it, a thought suddenly struck him.

Maybe, just maybe, things were not as bad as he made them out to be.

It would be rough, but who said he couldn't enjoy it?

The puppy grunted, got up and squatted. Within seconds, a whole new smell filled the air.

Screw all of this; he wanted out right now.

Merry belated Christmas and a happy New Year, one and all.

P.S. I have nothing against Linkin' Park; I'm actually the owner of two Linkin' Park Music CDs. This particular song (In The End) has lyrics that hold a special significance to the later development of the story, so bear with us for now.

Sorry about the whole switching between "it" and "he" regarding Angelo; I get so absorbed by my writing, I even confuse myself at times.

Another note is that he has two radios - one that works and the other that he is attempting to fix; nothing to confuse ourselves over.

Sorceress Fantasia: Yeah, I know; that part got tricky to get out for me as well. I'll try and make things easier for the both of them as it goes.

Niana Kuonji: Love the optimism here. And yes, Angelo is one charismatic little dog.

Silent Scope: Ow for Leon is right; and now that I've been rested, I'll see what I can do about the next update.