Reign of Fire: Rising from the Ashes

Chapter Five- Secrets

The several weeks Holly had promised to stay crept passed without her acknowledgement and she soon found that it had been six weeks since Sarah-Lou's rescue and she found herself quite enjoying her peaceful life in the castle. She helped out when she could with washing up or something a bit more manual; it was quickly learnt that she couldn't cook and it was wise to keep her out of the kitchen when someone else was cooking too. Life was easier with her new friends who had taken to calling her by her real name; it could be said that the Black Wolf was now just a fading memory but it wasn't, and Holly feared it never would be. The dreams were more real than ever, images of those she killed mercilessly haunted the time when she should be resting not reliving the past. Painful memories threatened to consume her every night and it became customary for her to wake up in a cold sweat, the urge to vomit stronger than anything. Once again Holly found herself creating distance between herself and those around her. She only left her room to eat or help with chores and then she concentrated on the task at hand. She talked to Alex and some of the other woman on occasion and to Creedy, Jared and Quinn when necessary. The majority of the other residents avoided her, the strange young woman was an oddity that they could not relate too and didn't want to either.

Of course her confusing feelings about Creedy weren't helping matters. From her current vantage point at her window she could seem him discussing something with Eddie, probably about the motorbike that stood in front of them. She sighed dejectedly, what's wrong with you Holly? You're the Black Wolf, your dangerous and ruthless. You vowed never to fall in love, its a distraction that isn't worth risking your life. How do you even know this is love you moron? It's probably just one of those infatuations Zara told you about as a kid- like Thomas, you thought you were in love with him but it was just a crush, hell you were 9 for crying out loud! No that's all it is, a crush, a silly little crush and seeing as the last one was Thomas, one has been due to come around for what- 11 years? No matter how gorgeous he is, or funny, or smart, you are not in love with him. And it's not like you'd have a chance, why would a handsome guy like him like a monster like you. You're a killer, your slowly losing the plot and it's not like he'd want you when he sees what your hiding underneath your clothes; 'cos that is really sexy isn't it? Looking the way you do.

Holly got up from the ledge and made her way to the wardrobe, opening the door which creaked loudly. Her reflection in the old cracked mirror seemed to mock her silently as she bit her lower lip and squinted at the image in front of her. She slowly moved her hands to the hem of her black tee, lifting it up to sit just under her breasts. Tears welled in her eyes as she looked at what had become of her once beautiful physique. The pale skin was distorted with scars and burns that covered three quarters of the toned muscle. She ran her hand over the raised skin, the different rough textures that now made up her abdomen, back and parts of her legs brought back memories that Holly had thought would never reappear. Her eyes closed holding back the unshed tears as she traced each scar and then the indentations where several of her ribs had been broken and left to set unnaturally on their own. She knew it was repulsive, those who had seen her had all flinched and couldn't look at her after that; she didn't blame them. They were all self inflicted, her need to see when death would finally claim her as his. So far it hadn't happened and if she admitted it to herself; she couldn't understand why. Maybe I should have been called the Black Cat, surely I've run out of lives now. How could he ever want you? Creedy deserves so much better than an unhinged, freak show of a kid. Or is the question, how could you love him? You've never loved anyone so do you even know how? What if he is like them, the ones that killed Zara, underneath everything, they're all the same. You've been here six weeks now, surely he would have made his move if he liked you. Stop being so naive, he's 16 years older than you and from all you've heard from some of the women you know he's got loads of women clamouring after him that are just too scared to make a move- oh look and your one of them. Get over it and move on.

She sighed again and pulled down the top to hide her painful secret. Absently she shook her head to rid herself of the conflicting thoughts that seemed to constantly swirl in her broken mind, grabbing her trench coat and making her way down to the front to see if there was something that would entertain her for a little while at least.

Silently Holly scolded herself for not adding an extra layer before she left her room, it wasn't the cold winter air that chilled her bones but the wind that whipped strongly around her; and the feeling that she would never belong. Most of the men were outside doing odd jobs whilst the women looked after the kids and kept the castle in tidy and made sure there was food on the table. This always made Holly laugh, from the stories she had heard from the elders back at the farming community in Pembrokeshire for centuries men had always been seen as the hunters and gatherers; whilst the women had to stay home and "keep house" she recalled. It had been different there, everyone did every job whether it was cutting down the crops or doing the cleaning, the women would not allow any preconceptions on what jobs were suitable for men or women. But they were all gone now, those who hadn't been killed or abducted by the rebels were left to the elements - and the dragons. That is where she knew Quinn had the right idea, he was ready for anything; the safety of the castle just as important as eating. She had no doubt that they would survive, the combined intelligence of the senior community members would be a mighty challenge for any foe, well all but dragons and that was where she reluctantly came in.

"Holly? Holly! You all right lass?" Creedy's voice made her jump from her silent trance. He stood on her left just behind her, his large dirty hand encasing her shoulder.

"Yeah sorry Creedy, must have spaced out." She fought the blush that threatened to creep onto her pale cheeks, hoping he didn't realise the affect he had on her. Creedy's green eyes stared into her own blue ones, concern obvious in the jade depths. He frowned but Holly quickly averted her gaze to anywhere that could seem distracting or a little bit interesting. Creedy removed his hand hesitantly, he wasn't a fool, he knew something was up with her but the fact Holly wasn't one to open up made it hard for him (and the others) to understand her and help. He noticed how she had become withdrawn, she didn't laugh like she used to the first week they had known her and her pale complexion was practically translucent.

"So, how have you been doing,we haven't seen much of you lately," He said as Holly turned to face him completely. She knew this would happen sooner or later.

"I'm OK, though I think I should leave soon. I've definitely over stayed my welcome."

"No, no there's no need for you to leave. I mean, you've been very generous, giving us all that ammo and those guns you had; and then there was that dragon and what you did for Sarah-Lou. The least we can do is offer you a home." Creedy inwardly kicked himself, she seemed embarrassed at his terrible attempt at flattery.

Holly squinted as she looked up at him, unsure of his meaning; Creedy was hiding something- she could tell that much. Smiling weakly, she moved her gaze across to the bike Creedy had been working on earlier when she had been watching him from her room.

"What's wrong with it?" she asked, changing the subject easily.

"Well we think it's the fuel line, but not too sure. Hopefully it's nothing serious, you wouldn't happen to know anything about motorbikes eh?"

"No sorry, I might be able to ride them but I have no clue how they work" Creedy feigned shock and disappointment which resulted in a swipe on the arm and laugh from Holly who couldn't help melting a little in the presence of the ladies man. She felt slightly at ease all of a sudden but it wasn't long for her defences to rise as she noticed the look that flew across Creedy's face- lust. She had seen it before but hadn't been on the receiving end of such a look in a long time and it made her a tad uncomfortable. Looking away from his penetrating gaze she made her excuses to leave.

"I'd better let you get on with it then, otherwise that bike will never get finished," she said with false humour, not wanting him to notice her tension.

"Wait! err... I'll see you at dinner, would you, would you eat with me. We could talk about stuff and..." Creedy faltered not knowing how to continue. It wasn't often that he'd actually have to justify why he wanted to eat with someone, most of the time the other women in the community would swoon at the offer and just agree to everything he said- then again, Holly was a different kettle of fish and he was fed up with what the sea was offering him, well offered him up until now.

"OK, sure I'll see you then" Holly replied, smiling weakly before heading back up into the castle, no longer wanting to stay out in the cold. She had no idea why she had said yes, she had no intention to get any closer to him even if her troublesome heart was telling her to jump him at a moments notice.

It's just dinner, no where in that sentence did he mention, what did Zara call it? Oh, that's right a date. No he didn't mention a date, love, "coffee", marriage, children or a future together. So there is nothing to fear- unless that's his plan. Lull you into a false sense of security and then Wham! Before you know it your in his bed as naked as the day is long. Oh God, stop being so mean towards him! He's been a complete gentleman towards you and you act like he's just like the others, after one thing and one thing only. But those rumours you've heard haven't exactly been of an innocent nature; yet you've always been told never to listen to rumours- oh God my head hurts! OK, relax, breathe, don't think about it. I'm such a hypocrite, I mentally accuse him of being sex mad yet I practically strip him naked with my eyes every time I see him. YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH HOLLY SO SNAP OUT OF IT!

Creedy watched Holly disappear from sight back into the darkness of the castle and sighed. He didn't understand her, hell, he didn't understand what he felt towards her either. She's everything he had always dreamed about, feisty, stunningly beautiful and brave. He knew he wanted her, who wouldn't? The thought of having her in his bed aroused him every time, the thought of touching her silky porcelain skin with his own rough hands, hearing her moan his name in pleasure- it was killing him. Creedy would admit it, he loved women. He loved all women, and with his generous luck and charm, women loved him. Many a night he had been graced with the intimate heat of another's body and he knew they enjoyed it just as much as he did. But he wasn't sure that it was just lust that he felt for Holly, something deep within him stirred at the sight of her, or the thought, or even the sound. Once I've had her it should change, she's just a girl after all no matter how pretty or mysterious she is. It's been too long, one night with her and it will all go back to normal. But is that what I really want? One steamy lust ridden night, with a dream girl? Why do I want more? Even when Quinn talks to her I get jealous. And that night she killed the dragon, I was petrified of what had happened to her. She's so damn perfect, I can't keep my eyes off her. Well, you can certainly say, Creedy old mate, that this has never happened before. Creedy chuckled deeply before heading towards the barn, hoping to keep his mind from straying just until dinner time at least.