She'll Never Say "I'm Sorry"

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket.
A/N: Here's chapter one, everyone! I appreciate the reviews for the prologue, and I hope this is well received, also. Ahh, a quick but rather vitally important note. I read the MANGA-- almost all of it that's been released thus far-- and that's what I base the events in the story on. There are certain... facts that cannot really be ignored. You'll find them out through the fic, in a different way, but just know they're going to be included. Right. Hopefully you all enjoy this chapter; it's not as long as I would have liked, but I felt like I had written enough. Alright; thanks for reading!

Enjoy!

Chapter One: Shadows

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The atmosphere was heavy.

Of course, at any gathering where all the cursed ones were present, the atmosphere could be expected to hang a little thicker and weigh on mortal hearts a little more taxingly. Even the cat was there– the one left out of the zodiac. The monster, the one that was looked down on, the one whose very humanity was all but sacrificed for the good of tradition by some long-forgotten– but still obeyed– mandate of their wretched curse.

And so things were even more tense than they usually were.

No one was sure how they were supposed– or allowed– to feel. Should they be sad? Should they mourn? Should they put on the act of sorrow?

Or would they be allowed to rejoice? Even if it was small, they finally had a pinprick of light– some semblance of freedom after so many long years of bondage. Could they go on as they normally did? Was there some procedure to be followed? No one knew, but no one dared to voice a question.

The funeral was short.

After a short, sterile sort of service, the members of the zodiac gathered together in a large, unfamiliar room. Someone, it seemed, had something to say.

Kureno stood before them, seeming tired and worn and so unusually old for his young age.

He cleared his throat before addressing them. "Everyone," he said quietly, his voice as thick as the dust around them, "please listen for a moment."

All the Sohma heads turned towards him, ears open to what he was going to say. He stepped forward, a dusty look in his sad eyes. "Akito, as I'm sure you're aware has moved on. He... I cannot say he was kind. But I cannot say he was entirely evil either. Akito was broken– from childhood, Akito was broken. He was fragile, made of glass. I only hope he's happier now. I only hope we can be happier now."

He cleared his uncomfortably and looked around. "Before all of you leave, though, there is one more thing. Akito had few possessions of his own, but... I do not think he would like them in the hands of strangers. I've prepared small boxes for all of you, if you'd like to have a... a memory of our former God. Thank you, everyone, for attending." He bowed and left without another word.

They all stared at each other blankly.

Suddenly, a quiet roar of chatter rose up from the silence. No one was quite sure how to feel. No one was quite sure what to do.

Yuki spoke quietly to Haru, trying to decipher the mass of feelings in his mind. Kagura clung to Kyo, knowing that neither needed comfort, but wanting it all the same.

Shigure stood silently alone, his eyes glazed over with numbness. He couldn't believe Akito was dead.

"How are you Gure-san?" Ayame asked, surprising his silent cousin. "Shocked, aren't you?" He scanned the room. "It seems the feeling's mutual."

Shigure shook his head, about to speak. But he couldn't. He didn't know what to say. So he smiled crookedly and shrugged indifferently. "I can barely believe it. I almost expected... Well, expected him to live forever."

"I'm sure you did," Hatori's voice announced blandly, the man himself coming up beside them. He looked at Shigure sternly, as though aware of what was bubbling below the surface. "Are you going to be alright, Shigure?"

He seemed almost offended by the question. "Alright? I think I can safely say I'll be just fine. People die everyday; why should one... One..." He clenched his jaw and glared off at something in the distance. When he spoke again his voice was low and strained. "Why should Akito's death by any different?"

Ayame floundered silently, not used to giving comfort– only receiving it. He could feel the palpable waves of pain Shigure was emitting, could feel his cousin's thinly hidden distress. And it worried him. Deeply.

Hatori took a deep drag from his cigarette, not caring that he was still inside. He understood why Shigure was hurting. And detaching himself from his own upset he felt sympathy enough to want to be of some assistance. He knew the physical body well enough– surely he'd be able to help counsel for emotional health as well. "How do you think the younger ones are taking it?"

"They're probably pleased," Shigure said bluntly. "Akito's gone; that's one step closer to freedom. Who knows? Since all the zodiac is here with no God, maybe the curse will be weak enough to break." He gazed at all the others not in his confidence coldly. "It happened once. It could happen again."

Ayame nodded, the heavy braid in his hair moving with him. "That is our one speck of light. Akito was doing better– I truly thought that soon the shadow that covered him would be lifted."

Shigure smiled sadly. "So did I, Aaya. So did I."

Hatori turned his head towards his cousin with a snap. But Shigure just shook his head. Questions would be unwelcome, and unless he was in a particularly excellent mood they'd probably be completely ignored.

"Well," Hatori said finally, his voice sounding weary, "It's probably best we all go soon. This place... It reeks of decay. It's not good for anyone to be here long." Hesitantly, he clapped a hand on Shigure's shoulder. "Don't dwell on it."

Ayame offered a smile, then followed Hatori away. Shigure looked around and spotted Yuki and Kyo. It was about time they headed home.

"Yuki-kun!" Shigure called, his voice not quite happy but on the same token not quite sad. "Are you ready to leave? We've left our poor flower alone long enough."

Yuki sighed. "Alright, Shigure. Get the cat and we'll go."

Shigure nodded and rushed off after Kyo.

Yuki sighed again. What did he ever do that forced him to endure such idiocy? He began to walk towards the exit– but then Kureno stopped. Yuki was surprised; he had never really spoken to the rooster before.

"Akito..." Kurneo looked at him awkwardly. "I have a few things I picked out for you and your housemates to have from Akito's things. Would you... Would you mind coming with me to get the box? It is rather like your inheritance after all, and I'm sure Shigure-nii and Kyo would like to see what all is there." He looked at the rat imploringly. "Will you take it home for me?"

Confused and a bit disconcerted, Yuki nodded. "Alright, Kureno-san, I'll get the box from you. I assure you, it isn't that much of an inconvenience."

For whatever reason, Kureno seemed amazingly relieved. "Thank you so much."

Shigure burst into his home with a giant yawn. "Mmm... Tohru-kun! Tohru-kun! Oh dearest Tohru-kun, your hulking, hurtful menfolk have arrived! Have you missed us terribly, my little flower?"

Tohru came rushing in, her eyes wide with concern. She bobbed down in a brief bow. "Welcome home Shigure-san, Yuki-kun, and Kyo-kun. I hope the funeral wasn't too... distressing. Are you all feeling well?"

Yuki smiled at her kindly as Kyo sneered and looked away. "We're fine, thank you. I'm going to go to my room for a bit, though; I'm rather tired." He set the box of Akito's old things down on the floor. "Here– Shigure you can go through this."

"What the hell is that?" Kyo asked rudely. "And why'd you have to take it all the way here?"

Yuki rolled his eyes. "Stupid cat. It's the box of things Akito left us. Kureno-san asked me to be sure and take it with me." He looked at Shigure. "I thought maybe you'd know why he seemed so adamant."

Shigure shrugged. "Me, a mere novelist, know how his mysterious mind– or perhaps Akito's mysterious mind– works? No, no, I'm just as in the dark as you are." Shigure gave the lopsided cardboard box a soft kick. "When I have some spare time I'll pick through it later. There's probably nothing good in there, anyway– certainly nothing worth anything."

"Oh." Tohru looked up at him, some unreadable expression in her eye. "If... Ahh, um... Shigure-san?" she finally asked, her voice quiet.

He seemed a little confused by her reaction. He put an almost fatherly hand on top of her head. "What is it, Tohru-kun?"

Her voice was thin, and little more than a whisper. "I'm sorry, Shigure-san."

He laughed, still quite confused. Yuki and Kyo just stood there jealously, wondering why their foolish guardian deserved so much of Tohru's attention. "For what? What are you sorry for, Tohru-kun? I'm afraid I don't understand."

She smiled at him sadly. "You look like you're hurting. I wish I could take that pain away."

There was an awkward moment between all of them, when no one was quite sure what to say. Finally, Shigure spoke. "Hurting? Tohru-kun, you mistake me. I... Well naturally I'm simply devastated by our Akito's death, but I..." He tried to grin at her good-naturedly. "I'm sure I'm just fine. Simply... alright."

Kyo rolled his eyes. "You stupid dog; the act's over. Don't be like that– even if you were just a sniveling servant, you're just as happy Akito's gone as the rest of us are. Don't make Tohru worry." He glared at Shigure fiercely for one intense moment, then stiffly turned and walked out of the room.

Yuki sighed. "As I said, I'll be in my room. Good evening, Honda-san."

Tohru responded politely, and watched casually as Yuki strode away. A few moments after he was gone, she nodded to her guardian. "Um... I'm going to the kitchen, Shigure-san– so I can prepare the next meal. I'll be in there if you need anything." And with another quick smile, she disappeared into the other room.

"Well," he muttered to himself, feeling rather more alone than he liked, "it's been a long day." He scanned the room, noticing things that it seemed he had never seen before. The room was different somehow– he felt like a stranger in his own home. The feeling unnerved him more than he was comfortable admitting.

Shigure yawned, and stretched out his arms over his head. "Ahh, it's pointless dwelling on it," he said to no one. "Sleep would be good for me, anyway." And with a sad smile, he headed for his bed.

For days after that, the box from Akito's sat in the same place, utterly ignored. All four passed by it every day, but hardly ever gave it a passing thought. Until one day, of course, when Kyo tripped.

"Gah!" he screamed as he, not looking where he was going, ran straight into the box and then flat on the floor.

Yuki stood, looking darkly amused. "You stupid cat; I should have expected something like this from you. I guess it's not true, what they say– that cats always land on their feet. You, quite clearly, landed right on your ass."

Kyo glared. "Shut up, you damn rat. I wouldn't have tripped if you hadn't been provoking me."

"Oh right, blame everyone else for your own faults."

Kyo stood up, looking ready to pounce. But just then, Tohru rushed in, having heard the commotion and beginning to worry about it. "What's the matter, Kyo-kun?" she asked fretfully. "Did you hurt yourself? Are you all right? Oh Yuki-kun, where the two of you fighting again?"

Kyo shook his head and grunted in the negative. "Don't worry, you little idiot, I'm fine. I just..." He looked sideways and down, obviously a little embarrassed. "I tripped over that stupid box that's been lying there forever."

"Oh no!" Tohru exclaimed. "We... We should move it before someone else gets hurt! Oh Kyo-kun, I'm so sorry! I'll bet poor Shigure-san forgot it was there; I should have reminded him! I'll go tell him right now so you won't trip again!" She rushed out to complete her mission.

Yuki laughed rather maliciously. "That's right, you stupid cat; we wouldn't want you to trip... again."

Kyo merely glared.

Meanwhile, Tohru was knocking on Shigure's study. "Um... excuse me, Shigure-san," she said politely, "may I come in?"

Shigure smiled. "Of course, my dear," he said, taking off his glasses. "Whatever do you need?"

Tohru fiddled with her hands nervously. "Well... Th-that box of Akito's old things, it... Um... Ah, well Kyo-kun, um... He tripped. Maybe... Maybe we could move it somewhere else?"

Shigure hit his forehead. "It's still there? My, my Tohru-kun, I've been such a fool! I meant to sort through it days ago, and I simply forgot." He smiled kindly. "As soon as I finish this paragraph I'll go take care of it."

"Um..." He looked at Torhu invitingly. "I-if you wanted, Shigure-san... I could go through it for you. I don't mind."

He looked taken aback. "Why thank you very much, Tohru-kun. That sounds like an excellent idea."

: end chapter one :
End A/N: Well, there you have it folks! I hope everyone enjoyed this. I personally think I might have gone a bit overboard on Shigure-inclusion, but he IS my favorite character, so I have a bit of a bias. Don't worry, though; the fic will REALLY start next chapter, and Tohru will be, basically, themain focus. And don't forget Akito-- through the diary, whichwe'll soon see. Thanks again; feedback is always appreciated, and reviews really make my day!

ILB