Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket.
A/N: Sorry this was such a long time in coming! I'm enjoying this fic; especially Akito's diary entries. I want to thank everyone who reviewed the previous chapter-- that means a lot to me! I'm hoping this will go over just as well. Once again, please keep in mind that later chapters will contain manga spoilers. This one doesn't, but I don't want you to get into the story and then find out something you didn't want to know later. I'm really sorry this is so short. I didn't intend for that, but... It just sort of happened. I'll make up for it later, though, don't you fret. Thanks for listening to my ramble.
Now go enjoy the fic!
Chapter Two: When the Lights are Dim
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Tohru carried the box of Akito's old things up to her room.
"There we go," she said happily. "Now to look through it." She was happy to do the job as a favor to Shigure– and to Yuki and Kyo as well. Anything that she could do to help she was more than happy to take on.
She sat on her bed, the box beside her.
The first item she lifted out was what looked like a blanket of some sort. The fabric was soft beneath her fingers and it looked worn and loved. Tohru held it up in the semblance of an embrace. She took a deep draft of air, inhaling the soft scent that still lingered in the tired fibers. It smelled something like rain. That or...
"Like tears," Tohru said to herself sadly. "Akito-san must have held this when he was sad." It struck a chord in her heart to know that even the great God of the Chinese zodiac could cry. She put the blanket off to the side, sure that someone would want to keep such a precious and sentimental thing.
The rest of the box didn't seem to be very important or interesting. Tohru put a few things aside so she could ask Shigure about them later. He would be much better at sorting out all of Akito's old things, but since he was so busy, Tohru didn't mind doing it for him.
The last thing she came to was a small black leather-bound book. It felt worn– not old, just well used. Tohru looked it over carefully before unbuttoning the snap that held it closed and opening it up. "I wonder what this is," she said to herself curiously. There was writing on the first page. "Maybe if I read a little I can find out."
So she settled down more comfortably on the bed and began to read the first entry in the mysterious little book.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
'I had another dream last night. It's still foggy and not very clear in my head, but I think I can remember. My father was there. And he was smiling. I still miss his smile. I think I was crying, but I don't know.
This diary is supposed to help me relieve stress, I think, but it's a pain to write in. I don't have anything to say.'
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
That was all that was written on the page, the handwriting scratchy but still just legible.
Tohru gasped. "This... This must have belonged to Akito-san! This must be his diary!" She snapped the book closed and held it up to her chest. She felt almost as though she were betraying its author, reading something that had probably been shown to no one else.
"Oh dear," she said to herself worriedly, setting the journal carefully back on the bed. "I shouldn't be reading this. I... I really don't think it's my place." She bit her lip, unable to squash the curiosity that was bubbling inside of her. "Well... Maybe I should read one more entry, just to make certain that it is Akito-san's."
So, with mixed feelings of guilt and excitement, Tohru opened the journal once again and turned to the second page.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
'I sometimes wonder why I was born.
But then I remember that I am God, that I rule my zodiac, and those feelings go away. Sometimes I think that that's all I have. I'll never be famous, I'll never accomplish anything, I don't think I'll do anything worthwhile– unless my merely being alive is worthwhile. Sometimes I wonder...
But it's easier just to accept it. If I believe that I'm worth more than anything, maybe I really do deserve to live after all.'
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
"It is Akito-san's," Tohru said solemnly. "It's really his... Oh, I should give this to Shigure-san right away! I was never meant to have this; it doesn't belong to me, I'm not even a part of the family." She chewed on her lip a moment, trying to decide what to do.
With a sigh, Tohru put everything back in the box, layering the things she thought were important over everything else. The diary she tucked underneath the blanket: perhaps out of sight would mean out of mind.
It was an amazing opportunity, to finally discover what went through Akito's head. But the opportunity wasn't hers to have... was it? She wanted to respect Akito's wishes, and she was sure that, had it been up to Akito, the diary would have been burned before anyone could read it. But she was curious. She was insatiably curious.
"I'll sleep on it," Tohru decided finally, accepting the decision with a firm nod. "Maybe a good night's rest will help me get my head in order. I know I shouldn't read it... So I won't. I just won't." She pushed the box under her bed. "Tomorrow I'll give it to Shigure-san and he can do with it as he sees fit. That's right."
And with a clear conscience, Tohru turned off her light and tucked herself into bed.
The next day saw a complete turn in judgement. Torhu went down and made breakfast for herself and her housemates. Then she, Yuki and Kyo went off to school. The day was pleasant, just as most of Tohru's days were. She had little to complain of, she thought, and rarely were her days truly bad. In fact, the day was positively good. It might have been her imagination, but even Yuki and Kyo seemed to get along a little better. And after classes were over, Tohru was all prepared for an evening to match.
But she wasn't expecting to falter in her earlier choice.
"Hello my dear flowers of youth!" Shigure called as they walked in. "Have your spongy brains been filled to the brim with new knowledge? Ahh, if only I, too, could–"
"Shut up!" Kyo said fiercely, hitting Shigure hard on the side of his head. "Damn dog... Do you have to be so stupid all the time?"
Shigure gave a fake sniffle. "Ooh... Kyo-kun's so mean to me!"
Tohru, half worried that Shigure was really upset, had to remind herself that they were just "kidding around". It was a concept Hatori had introduced her to not long before, and she was still surprised that everything was fine even when she didn't interfere.
Suddenly she remember her self-given duty. "Ahh! Shigure-san," she said urgently, "I finished sorting through Akito-san's old things! There were a few things I wasn't sure about, though. I knew that you would know what to do with them, though, so... Do you want me to get the box for you?"
He smiled and nodded. "That'll be find, Tohru-kun. And thanks for doing that for me."
She beamed up at him. "It's no trouble at all, Shigure-san! I love to be able to help you out."
Happily, she raced to her bedroom. She took the box out from under her bed. But suddenly she remembered the diary.
'It's still technically Akito-san's property,' she told herself hesitantly. 'I shouldn't read it; it would be wrong for me to do so.'
She looked at the box for a moment in contemplation. And in a rash fit of unquenchable curiosity, she took the diary out and threw it on top of her bed. Feeling guilty about the decision already, Tohru rushed out of the room so she wouldn't have to look at the small, leather-bound book.
'Forgive me, Akito-san. I just couldn't help myself.'
End A/N: Thank you for reading! I'll try to get started on chapter three soon. Review or Akito's ghost will haunt you! Whoo-oo! (hee hee hee)