Thanks for all the reviews, I felt so loved! Hi Sue! Nice to see you ;P
Lol, none of this belongs to me, you know, all property of Disney and Meg Cabot and associates.
For all the limos were fitted with air-conditioning, Joseph felt as if the endless heat would eventually cook him. Already, he'd divested himself of his jacket and tie and still, it wouldn't lift. Mia was reclining back on the seat, her ear phones in her ears, her eyes never moving from the blue tinted windows as she gazed out into the country. The winding road up to the palace was busy, and the convoy of cars were being swamped by paparazzi on their scooters and Joseph, through all of this was not a happy man. He was tired, he was bored, and he had spent his time in San Francisco babysitting, when his real remit mentioned no such mundane task. S
Secondly, he was desperate to see her, which was pathetic because he doubted she was remotely interested in him, or how he felt. She, on the other hand felt nothing, she was disgustingly cold, yet sometimes she gave him relief. She smiled at him, or touched his hand in a way that he prayed was to illustrate more than a want of friendship. Like when they had danced In California, her eyes danced with life for the first time in years. He wanted so desperately then to kiss her, that she might not refuse him.
He hoped in vain no doubt, but it helped him get through the day, the fantasy that she might want him. He sighed to himself and straightened up in the seat and smiling dully at the Princess, who was watching him intently. She turned away again, back to looking out at the field which were now going past quicker than they had been in the abysmal traffic.
Soon, they were before the massive gates of the palace and Mia's face gave off the idea she was enraptured by its grandeur. Charlotte stood on the steps, her clipboard in hand. The palace, for all its glory looked dull. From a distance, Joseph could see Charlotte's smile didn't really extend to her eyes and that Shades seemed to be stiffly pensive. Again, he let out a low sigh, knowing that whatever news his return merited wasn't going to be pleasant.
He mustered a smile and turned to the eagerly expectant princess, whose immediate question was, as her face fell in disappointment;
"Where's My Grandma, I thought she'd be here to greet me?"
The car stopped at the steps and the driver flung the doors open, letting sticky, unhealthy air into the car.
"She may be in a meeting," he replied carefully as he got out of the car, helping her out a moment later.
"Oh right", she answered, hauling her bag over her shoulder, "I figured she might want to see me as soon as she got here".
"Yes, of course she would Mia," he smiled, "But we do not always get what we want". Mia looked at him strangely, a look he could not quite place and it made him feel awkward.
Charlotte had joined them now for which he was glad she turned to the princess and greeted her with a smile as she welcomed her to the palace. Then she turned to Joseph and gave him a sort of 'we need to talk look'. Suggesting Mia go up to the door of the palace and take a look around, he promised Charlotte would accompany her on a tour if she allowed Charlotte and Shades to give him a private briefing for just a moment. Mia obliged, rather grudgingly to be left alone for a moment. Once she had wandered away, up the steps and out of ear-shot, charlotte began mumbling gravely.
"She's ill, Joseph," Charlotte muttered, while Shades nodded stoically, "She's refusing to eat, she didn't even eat her favourite meal last night. She's been snapping at everyone and she hasn't slept either, she's up to all hours signing papers in the office. We thought…you…well, she listens to you."
Joseph stared at her for a second, and then snorted bitterly; he was no voice of reason for a woman with no heart. Regardless of how close they had come in San Francisco, she would not allow it. He had tried so unwaveringly to woo her yet she was no candidate for his affections.
"Where is she?" he questioned, turning to Shades.
"Well, she went up to her suite about an hour ago and hasn't come out since, we can't go in, you know how much she loathes anyone in her chamber", he answered.
"I shall go", he sighed, taking off his shades and putting them in his breast pocket, "Don't let anyone disturb her, for nothing."
They both nodded in agreement and with that, he had taken himself upstairs as Charlotte offered Mia a tour around the palace and Shades returned to organising security matters for the ever looming Ball.
The corridors leading to her chamber were cool and it was a pleasant change from the sweltering heat outside, unrelenting in its pursuit of burning every inch of unprotected skin. He walked slowly; in no rush to face the torrent of abuse that he knew was soon to face him. She would tell him he had no business in bothering her, that there was nothing wrong with her but from the evidence of the sombre mood in the palace, there clearly was.
He stopped in front of her doors that were never guarded and along with a few others; he was the only person granted permission to be anywhere near her chambers. He pushed slowly down on the handle and cracked the door open slightly, slipping inside quickly and leaning back to shut it. The room was dim, the only light creeping through the heavy drapes that barred any air from coming into the room, it was stiflingly warm and it made him feel dizzy. He could only make out the shape of her lying on the couch and he drew nearer, sitting directly across from her on a plush Queen Anne chair. From what he could make out, she was wearing a white suit, which gave a glow to her face in the light. She, even in the dim light was eerily beautiful. She had curled her legs tight up to her body and her arms were wrapped around her own chest, almost hugging herself in sleep. Her hair was slightly messy, though not so much that she wasn't presentable. Her chest rose and fell rhythmically, her breath soft as it escaped her mouth and he was enraptured by the beauty that seemed to glow from her, regardless of her cold manner.
She was beautiful and all the hate and jealousy he felt towards her subsided in that moment, if they were only to resurface themselves when she woke. She looked so frighteningly vulnerable, so child-like as she slept. It was something he wished he would see every day, wake to her lying beside him. Even in years gone past, he had hated her and loved her, all at the same time. He had wished he didn't love her, he had thought of quitting the job, settling down and marrying someone else who wanted him. But that would have been a lie, just as bad as the one he was living at the moment.
He stopped for a moment as she twisted slightly, and then settled herself again, not opening her eyes. He would stay until she did.
It was dark by the time Clarisse woke; she knew this only because her room had cooled down considerably. She didn't want to open her eyes, she wanted to stay there forever motionless but then she remembered Mia had come that day, it was past dinner and she had music to choose and umpteen papers to sign. She sat bolt upright, feeling extremely dizzy as she did so. She startled as she seen him sitting across from her, his head propped on his hand, his eyes following her every move and suddenly, she felt venomously angry. Her heart thudded violently in her chest as she glared at him. She wanted to kill him, for no reason other than she wanted him desperately - if he did not exist, if he had never been born, her life would be easier.
"How long have you been here?" she seethed, brushing her hair back from her face and making a bad attempt to straighten out the creases in her dress.
"Not long," he lied calmly.
"Well," she faltered, reining her temper in a little as if she realised her fault, "You had no right to be here".
"No," he shook his head, "Of course not but I wished to speak with you."
"Well, if you would kindly leave Joseph, I do not have the time for chit-chat just now", she said curtly, standing up and walking past his chair.
Not this time, he grabbed her roughly by the wrist, causing her to shriek slightly as he did so and twist her body round, so he was gripping her awkwardly as there eyes met. She was burning with anger and pain still lingered in her eyes from the immediate affects of his rough hold.
"You will listen to me", he growled, standing up. She shrunk away from him and for a moment, he realised the pain he inflicted upon her. He loosened his grip slightly, but not enough so it didn't hurt her.
"Please", she almost sobbed, "Please not now".
"Talk to me", he begged her, "Just talk to me".
She looked so angry; he wished he'd never been so forceful but something inside him - something so primal even he was afraid - had snapped inside him and he could no longer stand this coldness, the heartlessness.
"I will never speak to you, ever again!" she almost screamed, struggling as he held her against his body, his hand gripping her wrist tighter again.
"You will!" he whispered, reaching out in caress of her cheek. She did not struggle against him but allowed him to touch her as if fighting would be futile, as if she wanted it. Her eyes closed tightly, almost as if she was willing him away.
From behind her lashes, tears trickled down onto her burning cheeks. She felt utterly violated as they did so; she hated him for making her cry like this, for making her vulnerable.
"Clarisse", he whispered, finally letting go of her wrist, "Forgive me; I should never have done that to you".
She looked up finally, her eyes lifeless. Hat moment of affection was over and she missed him already but she was angry, beyond fathomable belief and she lashed out, her hand hitting his cheek with a vicious slap.
"Leave me!" she shrieked, "I will never speak to you again!"
He turned on his heels and wishing that the world would stop spinning made his way for the door. Before he left she shouted his name, alarmingly loud as she doubled over, using the back of the seat for support. He turned as she did and their eyes met again. Her face was blotchy with tears, hunched over in pain, she was a pitiful sight. But mercy, for the first time ever would not prevail in his heart. He could not wish to make her better, the anger was so overwhelming. He simply stood, and watched her.
"I missed you", she said quietly. He was momentarily shocked by her admittance, "I was lonely and tired."
There was a disgusting silence, worse than the silence that filled her endless nights.
"Lonely?" he questioned after what seemed like forever, standing where he was watching as each delicate tear trickled down her face.
"Lonely", she repeated, "So lonely".
" And who is to blame for that?" he questioned, almost mockingly. She looked up, her eyes still fiery with rage, "Tell me anyone but you is to blame for your loneliness, for your coldness!"
"I-" another violent sob shook her body, " I am".
" Of course you are!" he shouted, banging his fist against the table beside the door. The Ming vase came crashing to the floor, scattering lilies and spraying water everywhere.
" Of course it you damn fault Clarisse! If you would let someone in, let someone love…", he trailed off, looking up at her.
" I can give you nothing", she whispered, her voice calming perceptibly, " Nothing."
He sighed, turning and leaning against the wall, so far away from her that he couldn't hurt her anymore.
"That's what you think", he answered, "It's what you've always thought. Clarisse, don't you see how different you were, how we were?"
"When have I ever been different, when have we ever been such a thing?" she ordered in frustration, clenching her fists.
" California, you were a different person. All these years Clarisse, all these years I've loved you and you knew all along and suddenly, I seen a side of you I'd never seen before, someone who didn't care!"
" That was then, this is now!" she moaned, rubbing her forehead.
"Would you love me if you weren't queen?" he suddenly questioned, staring so deftly into her eyes it unnerved her.
"Yes", she whispered softly, " I always would".
Well, there y'all are. I wanted to leave it on that because I felt it was good to leave a sort of cliff hanger.
Well, it's my logic anyway! Please R&R. Good to know I can still entertain. Chap.3 soon.
Yours,
M
Xx