(A/N: Peeps out from around a corner shyly I know I know! It was an excruciating long update!! I really am terribly sorry but this chapter was so intense and long and life (school) was throwing me too much at once. I feel really bad about leaving everyone with a cliffhanger like this one and to reward you all, I have written the longest chapter yet! I cover a lot in it so you might want to close read. Anyways, since I have two unit tests tomorrow I won't reply to everyone's reviews. I'm sorry, next chapter I promise! Honestly, the reviews for Chapter Eighteen were fabulous!! They were so encouraging and sweet! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I LOVE YOU ALL! Okay also, another question I got was what the heck Rêves Finaux means. Just so everyone knows, it is French for Final Dreams, which would be the English title for this fic. So whatever you want to call it is fine with me. I abbreviate it but anyways….I'm going to dedicate this chapter to AmyChris because she e-mailed me yesterday asking when the next update would be. It made me sit down for two hours and finish a section up, completely the chapter which let me update today! So, kudos to her! Also a note; WARNING: This chapter includes some incidents and/or mentions of abuse, self abuse, sex, violence, and death. If anyone believes that this material earns an R rating, please let me know! That's about it, thank you for being so patient with me and hopefully you'll all enjoy this chapter! Hugs, Haystack)
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
CHAPTER NINETEEN: SHADOWS OF TOMORROW
Hermione put her hand up to shield her eyes as the golden light exploded. Even from here, she was able to feel the heat it radiated.
As the light faded away, she scanned her eyes around frantically for any sign of her friend. Clinging desperately to the hope that he'd simply disappeared, Hermione almost heaved a sigh of relief when she couldn't find him. Almost.
Hermione had lost her hearing. She saw the people dancing happily about and saw their opened mouths…but heard nothing.
Her eyes were focused on the body that lay already forgotten, just a few precious feet from her.
It was a young boy of seventeen years. He had black hair that was damp from his perspiration and nice muscles that still clenched his wand. He had brilliantly beautiful eyes that were currently opened wide. He was a perfectly normal boy in every way…. except for the fact that he was dead.
It wasn't hard to figure out, his chest didn't rise or fall and his eyes…his emerald eyes were open, staring directly at Hermione and Ron with no emotion whatsoever. Hermione was spellbound. She wanted to look away, she wanted to scream, she wanted to reach a hand out through the bars to close those haunting eyes, but she was frozen.
He couldn't be…There was no way…Hermione refused to believe it…Harry simply couldn't be--
"DEAD!!!" Voldemort shrieked happily as he began to laugh "HE'S DEAD!!!!!!"
His followers laughed along with him, and together they all linked arms around Harry's body, dancing around carelessly, hiding Hermione's view of her best friend.
Her mouth was open but no sound emitted it. She was speechless, she was thoughtless, she was just as dead inside as the corpse that had previously been a few feet away from her.
Pain like Hermione had never known throbbed painfully in her chest, soon taking over her, quickly draining her of all her energy. Her head spun and the volume increased. The evil laughs echoed through her head. She tried to close her eyes, tried to shut them out, but she couldn't. She couldn't think, she couldn't feel anymore, she couldn't breathe.
She let herself fall to the ground.
She sat there against the wall, with wide eyes and a deathly pale face. Her whole body was shaking but she didn't notice. The voices in her head refused to succumb to silence, they continued ruthlessly. Her breaths were coming in labored gasps for air and her eyes appeared glazed over. Hermione was past the point of reason. Her thoughts tortured her, thoughts of Harry… She was caught up in her own hell, with the flames dancing around her, threatening her, taunting her, and urging her to give in to them.
It was too soon…it was too much. She couldn't take it anymore.
Taking her long fingernails, Hermione scratched at her legs. Over and over again she scratched, transforming her pale skin red, one that soon was covered in bleeding cuts.
It couldn't be happening…it was part of her nightmare…she'd wake up and run to Harry and Ron and they'd comfort her like they always liked to do.
Ron…
His eyes were wide; his face that usually was red with anger or some other emotion, was white, his fists clenching the bars of the window painfully hard. Tears were in his eyes but they did not fall. He slowly reached a hand out of the window, almost so slowly it was painful.
He stretched out his arm as far as it would go, but it fell short of the body by an inch or two. Squeezing his eyes shut and bowing his head, he made his way to the corner with one hand on his hip and the other placed over his face, his fingers pinching the top of his nose. He was breathing heavily but otherwise appeared relatively normal. Until…
Hermione jumped as Ron picked up a huge stone and threw it against the bars of the cell with as much strength as he could muster. The stone bounced back, the corners getting chipped. "NO!!" He suddenly roared, picking up the same stone and throwing it again. "NO!!!!"
Hermione's eyes grew round and she gasped a small gasp.
Ron didn't notice. Running to the bars, he shook them with all the strength in his body. "GET ME OUT OF HERE!!" He screamed. "I NEED TO KILL HIM! I NEED TO RIP HIM IN SHREDS!"
Since shaking the bars was accomplishing nothing, Ron began kicking them. Over and over again he'd kick with each word, "I NEED TO KILL THAT BASTARD FOR RUINING OUR LIVES!!! NEED TO MAKE HIM FEEL THE PAIN I FEEL!! I NEED TO SEE HIS DEAD BODY…STARE INTO HIS DEAD EYES!!"
Hermione felt her heart breaking as Ron continued his rant, going back to his original plan, shattering smaller rocks as he threw them all around. She wanted to cry…wanted to reach out to him and hold him in her arms the way he'd done for her so many times…wanted to tell him that everything would be okay…. but she couldn't.
"HE'S KILLED TOO MANY PEOPLE! I WON'T LET HIM GET AWAY WITH IT! HE'S GOING TO PAY THIS TIME! JUST THINK OF ALL THE PEOPLE!! HARRY'S PARENTS, NEVILLE'S PARENTS, SIRIUS…." Ron fell to the ground, unable to finish out his sentence, tears like Hermione had never seen before pouring from his eyes. He kneeled on the ground, raised his fist, and then let it fall to the ground. "…and Harry" He choked quietly, he full meaning of what he said suddenly starting to dawn on him.
"Harry…he killed Harry. Harry's dead…he killed him" He whispered over and over again like a madman.
It was then, watching Ron-- the strongest man she knew—sobbing hysterically that her own tears finally started to come. They welled up in her eyes until they could hold no more tears, and then as she blinked, they cascaded down her already tear strained face. Her heart ached…it was too much. Loosing Harry and seeing Ron like this…it cut at her and ripped her apart. She wrapped her arms around herself and placed a hand to her chin to try to muffle the sound, but it was impossible. She was in too much pain…
She sniffed and Ron's head whipped up, staring at her like he'd just noticed her for the first time. They held eye contact for a moment, bloodshot blue eyes to bloodshot brown eyes. Ron seemed to take in her appearance, chin up, then come to some decision. And as Hermione watched those beautiful blue eyes darken evilly, fear washed over her.
"WHAT ARE YOU CRYING ABOUT?!" He suddenly screamed at her
Hermione bit her lip and lowered her head. A sob made its way out from her body. She shook her head.
"HUH? I ASKED YOU A QUESTION. WHY ARE YOU CRYING?!!" Ron roared, standing up
She looked up at him, desperately trying to find some comfort in his eyes. All she saw were two little black holes.
"Ron…" She whispered, not able to say anything else before she broke down into tears again.
Ron's face turned red with anger. Grabbing her wrist and lifting it above her head, he pulled her up, throwing her onto the dirt floor violently.
"AH!" She cried, her already sore body searing with pain.
"YOU HAVE NO REASON TO BE CRYING!" Ron screamed
"Ron…" She whispered, "Please don't…"
"DON'T WHAT? COME ON HERMIONE TELL ME! YOU'RE ALWAYS THE ONE WITH ALL THE BLOODY ANSWERS! WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?!"
Hermione shook her head, wiping her hand across her face.
"YOU'RE NOT AFRAID OF ME? WHY NOT HERMIONE?!"
She said nothing.
"FINE! IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TELL ME, THEN I'LL JUST MAKE YOU AFRAID OF ME!!" Ron shouted, reaching down to the ground and pulling her up.
"Ron!" She cried, as he pushed her up against the wall.
Slapping her hard across the face, Ron glared at her, grabbing her shoulders, "LOOK AT ME!" He demanded, shaking her, "LOOK AT ME DAMN IT!"
Shaking, Hermione slowly met his gaze. "WHEN I ASK YOU A QUESTION, I WANT YOU TO ANSWER ME. NOW TELL ME, WHY WERE YOU CRYING?"
Pain mixed with her anger and suddenly Hermione looked him in the eye. "YOU KNOW GOOD AND WELL YOU SELFISH BASTARD! YOU SIT HERE AND THROW ROCKS AND HIT ME, ALL CAUGHT UP IN YOUR GRIEF!" She screamed, unable to help the tears flowing down her cheeks. "BUT YOU'RE FORGETTING THAT HARRY WAS MY BEST FRIEND TOO! I LOVED HIM JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DID! AND I'M HURTING JUST AS MUCH AS YOU ARE, MORE SO NOW THAT YOU DECIDED TO ABUSE ME!"
Ron stared at her with narrowed eyes and when he spoke it was low, a reserved octave Ron only used when he was intimidating people. "Don't—talk—about-- him," He growled
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!" Hermione shrieked "HARRY IS G-GONE! I DON'T CARE IF YOU WANT TO ADMIT THAT BUT IT'S THE TRUTH." Hermione paused to collect herself as she pushed back her tears. "SEE? IT HURTS ME TO SAY THAT! IT HURTS ME TO SAY HIS NAME! IT HURTS ME TO ADMIT THAT TO MYSELF BECAUSE I DESPERATELY WANT TO BELIEVE THAT IT'S NOT TRUE! BUT I AM, BECAUSE I KNOW THAT IF I DON'T, I'LL JUST DRIVE MYSELF CRAZY AND LAND MYSELF IN ST. MUNGOS! OUR SCHOOL IS BURNT TO THE GROUND, OUR BEST FRIEND IS DEAD, AND FOR ALL WE KNOW, EVERYONE ELSE IS DEAD AS WELL! YOU ARE ALL I HAVE LEFT IN THIS WHOLE DAMN WORLD RON!" She sobbed, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Please don't push me away" She whispered
Ron stood for several moments, too shocked with her to say anything. He didn't hug her back; instead he removed her hands from his neck and walked across the cell. He paused, looking outside the window for a moment, and then began pacing.
Hermione watched in silence. Back and forth he went…back and forth, back and forth, back and forth…
Finally he stopped, and turned to her.
"He was my best friend…" Ron whispered more to himself than to Hermione, his eyes glazed over, caught up in his own world.
Hermione sniffed. "I know Ron"
"H-He was my only friend. Besides you"
She ignored the tears that pushed their way through her eyes.
"We told each other everything. I never went more than two months without him. He was like my brother"
Hermione looked at him with understanding.
"And now…" Ron bit his lip to stop the tears that were pushed up against his eyes. "Now…"
Hermione approached him slowly; tentatively wrapping her arms around him. He sighed as he snaked his arms around her waist. "Now all I have is you"
"But you want Harry?" She spoke for him gently
"Yea…" Ron said, tearing up "I need Harry. I need him…and, and…" He couldn't finish the sentence before he slowly burst into tears.
Overwhelmed with sadness, Hermione bit her lip, running her hand along the nape of his neck comfortingly, not trusting herself to speak at the moment, for fear of bursting into tears herself. "Shh…" She said softly, smoothing out his hair.
"Is h-he really g-gone?" Ron asked through his tears
Hermione's heart lurched. As another tear fell from her face she nodded even though he couldn't see her. "Yea…he is"
"It's not fair…" He murmured.
"Not at all. He shouldn't have died…h-he was so sure of himself" Hermione agreed
Ron backed away from her, and looked at her sternly. "Please" he said, closing his eyes for a moment "Please don't talk like that"
"Like what?" Hermione asked quietly
"You…You can't say that. Not like that. I-I can't handle it now, it's too soon."
"What did I say Ron?" Hermione asked, hurt evident in her voice.
"That he was…that he is…you know"
"Dead?" She whispered tearfully
He shook his head. "I don't want to hear it."
"But you said--"
"That he was gone. That's different than…you know"
"Oh Ron…"
"No Hermione!" He said sternly, "I'm telling you now. I-don't-want-to-hear-it"
"Why not Ron?" Hermione snapped, "It's the truth"
Ron's eyes narrowed at her "I disagree. He's coming back, he'll rescue us like he always does…you'll see. Just please respect my wishes…don't make me listen to it!"
Hermione shook her head. "I can't do that Ron! I can't let you sit here pretending like this! It's going to come back and bite you, and doing so it'll bite me too!"
"Oh so I see, you're more concerned about me bringing you down later is that right?!" Ron hissed
"No Ron! I don't want you hurting! This isn't about me!" She cried angrily
"But you said…"
"You're not listening to me…"
"Hermione stop being--"
"IT HURTS ME TO SEE YOU IN PAIN ALRIGHT?!" Hermione suddenly screamed "IT KILLS ME RON! I'M HURTING HERE…I'VE NEVER BEEN IN SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE, AND TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS…." She paused, "I CAN'T TAKE IT! I NEED TO FOCUS ON HARRY'S DEAHTH, I CAN'T BE WORRIED ABOUT YOU TOO!"
"WELL THEN JUST LET ME BE!" Ron shouted "FORGET ABOUT ME AND GRIEVE IN YOUR OWN LITTLE CORNER!"
"I CAN'T DO THAT!!"
"WHY NOT?"
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, YOU INSENSITIVE PRAT!" She screamed
Ron froze where he was, Hermione watching as the red vanished from his face and the scowl slowly melted off his face. "What was that?" He whispered
"I love you" Hermione said honestly, "But please, I'm begging you, please see reason"
"Hermione" Ron said softly "It's not that I don't want to. It's that I can't."
"You can't?"
"No" Ron said, tears gathering in his eyes "I can't just sit down and accept the fact that my best mate was murdered in front of me and that he's dead and gone forever!"
"Ron I'm not asking you to"
"Then what are you asking of me Hermione?" Ron said emotionally
"I just…I don't want you playing games with yourself. Pretending that he's coming back and all of that."
"He will. But what does it matter now? If it helps…"
"No Ron, trust me, it'll hurt twice as hard the second time"
Remains of his previous breakdown were gone and yet now tears now were on the verge of spilling over Ron's crystal eyes again. He shook his head, "Please stop." He said, voice thick with emotion "I just need to get through tonight. Tomorrow maybe I'll listen. Too much has happened, I can't take it anymore. Let's just…I don't know, try to go to sleep. I don't want to think anymore."
Hermione stood in thought for a moment or two before finally nodding her head. He was right. Walking over to him, she laid on the earth floor, shivering slightly. Ron lay next to her, his face inches from her own. "Good night Hermione" He said softly
"Good night Ron" She whispered, smiling slightly as Ron gathered her in his arms.
The two lay together for what seemed like hours, just listening to the gentle beating of each other's hearts.
Though however long Hermione closed her eyes, there was no chance sleep would claim her. Not tonight, she was sure of it. Screams of death still made their way through their cell window and the soft crying and mumbling of the man in the farthest cell provided an annoying distraction, though Hermione wasn't one to judge.
Yet as crazy as the idea of sleeping had sounded to her ears, once she got the idea into her head, it was all Hermione wanted. Sleep…a state of thoughtlessness. She wouldn't be bombarded with images of the night and wouldn't have to shed any more tears. Too much had happened, could it really only have been one night? What had she done yesterday? Or the day before?
It was a beautiful afternoon. The sun was shining it's brightest, the sky was a clear pale blue and the Hogwart's Grounds had never looked more pretty. Trees had lost their nakedness; now flourishing with breathtaking blossoms covering every inch of them. The grass was lush and green and though a cool breeze was making it's way through the land, the warm air did wonders for the students lying out, soaking up not only the sun but relishing in the wonderful feeling Saturdays brought.
That was it! She had been lying idle on the grass with Ron, Ginny, and Harry.
Harry!
He was staring at the sunset as though it were the most precious thing in the world. A playful smile playing in the corners of his mouth, his raven hair tousled handsomely from their flight, his emerald eyes shining with something Hermione couldn't exactly place; it had been years since Hermione had seen him like this. Peaceful, content, and in love with the world instead of angry at it. She smiled at him and he winked and smiled back.
They had gone flying…seen that breathtaking sunset. Hogwarts had never looked more beautiful. If only they had known that not even 24 hours later it would all be on the ground, collapsed! Students were walking lazily, laughing and playing about, enjoying the day. Now more than half were probably dead, the other half scarred for life, hiding in bushes deep inside a forest they never would have stepped foot in a day before.
It was the last happy memory Hermione could think of. She should have known things were going too well…she should have suspected something was up. And yet…Hermione was glad she hadn't. She was glad she had soaked up the moment, breathing in the sight of her friends and school, and relished in the feel of Ron's arms around her. After all, for all she knew it could very well be the last happy memory she'd ever have. She wished with every fiber in her body that she could rewind time, have that time turner from third year again. She wanted to return to the past and never come back. Simply re-live her life at school over and over again.
Back when Hogwarts was the safest place in the world. Back when her only troubles were reprimanding Ron for cussing, and Harry for all his dangerous late night adventures he led them on. Back when she had Harry again. Back when she feared expulsion more than death.
Laughing bitterly at her innocence, it was only then that Hermione realized she had been crying softly all this time, Ron muttering incoherent sayings sweetly in her ear.
As if she'd woken from a dream, Hermione sat up, looking wildly about her.
She was in a prison cell. Dawn was just arriving. She and Ron were huddled in the middle of the floor, attempting sleep. She wasn't in her own warm bed, she wasn't opening the curtains to greet the wonderful sunshine, there was nothing familiar about her old life now. Nothing except Ron.
The harsh reality slapping her in the face, Hermione wiped at her face, sick and tired of crying so much in one night, and lay back down, holding Ron close to her.
"What was it?" He whispered
"I don't know." She whispered back "I was thinking and sort of got caught up in my thoughts…made myself believe they were real."
"Oh" Ron said, "What were they?"
Hermione shook her head and snuggled closer to him, burying her face in his shirt. "Just…hold me"
Surprised, Ron nodded. "Alright"
Time passed, and before long, Hermione felt herself finally dripping off into slumber, greatly comforted. Finally daring enough to close her eyes, Hermione sighed heavily, overly exhausted in all aspects, eagerly awaiting the sleep she craved.
"Hermione?" Ron whispered timidly, afraid to wake her.
Cursing Ron for his bad timing, Hermione simply opened her eyes. "What?" She whispered
"I just wanted to say that I-I'm sorry"
"For what?" She asked gently
"For" Ron gulped "Hitting you. I never thought I'd ever do something like that. Especially to you. You have to understand how terrible I feel."
"I understand Ron. Don't worry." She said as she kissed his cheek, settling back into his arms, her mind still focused on sleep.
"It wasn't fair of me to take advantage of you like that."
"Shh…it's okay."
Ron pulled away from her, making Hermione cry out from the cold that suddenly hit her. "No it's not. It'll never be okay. I-I can't believe I actually hit you. Screamed all that terrible stuff at you"
"Please Ron" Hermione said as she took his hand into hers "Don't kill yourself over it."
"How can I not?" Ron sniffed "All this time I've been so worried about other people touching you or hurting you, and I'm the one who ended up doing it."
"Just shush." She said as she patted the space of ground where he'd previously been. "Now please come back"
He sighed, but did as she said, gathering her in his arms again.
"I'm sorry" Ron repeated
"Ron stop it" Hermione said wearily
"I really am. You were right, I am a bastard," He continued
"Ron I'm warning you. Please!" She begged
"I don't deserve you"
"Don't go there Ronald!" She said angrily, escaping out of his embrace to shoot daggers at him with her eyes.
"You deserve someone like Krum. Not a murderer that takes advantage of you like that."
"Do you honestly think that after everything tonight, I would prefer bloody Viktor Krum over you!" She screamed
"Well I mean he's got--"
"I can't believe it!" She cried, throwing her arms up in the air.
"Think about it! He's rich, famous, a bloody great Quidditch player! Girls all think he's handsom--"
"So what, are you planning on shipping me off to Bulgaria?"
"No! But the fact is that I don't deserve you!"
"RONALD WEASLEY TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!"
"NO! IT'S TRUE! YOU'RE THE GREATEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET, YOU DESREVE THE BEST!"
"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK THE BEST IS, I WANT YOU!"
"YOU SHOULDN'T!"
"WHY NOT?"
"HERMIONE!! I'VE KILLED AT LEAST TEN MEN TONIGHT!"
"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!"
"YOU CAN'T LOVE A MURDERER!"
"YOU ARE NOT A MURDERER! THIS IS WAR FOR MERLIN'S SAKE RON! I KNOW YOU MUST FEEL GUILTY, BUT THIS IS STUPID! DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT I WOULD PERFER A DEATH EATER ALIVE, THEN YOU DEAD?!!"
"Well no, but—"
"If you don't shut up right now…"
"I'll bet Krum never hit you bef--"Ron stopped mid sentence as Hermione swooped over him, pressing her lips against his.
Obviously shocked, it took Ron a moment to kiss her back, but when he did, he kissed her so forcefully Hermione couldn't help but moan. Breaking apart for air, Hermione smiled as she gazed into Ron's eyes. "I love you" She said, "Do you get that now? I love you no matter what. It hurts me when you talk like that"
"Why does it hurt you?" Ron asked worriedly
"Because" She breathed as she planted kisses over Ron's face "When you put yourself down that's like insulting me. After all, I'm the one who fell in love with you and if you insult yourself then you're insulting my choice and judgment."
"Your choice and judgment?" He asked through his heavy breaths
"I chose you" Hermione said simply "And if you say you love me, then in theory, you've chosen me too"
Ron sat up, looking at Hermione with interest. Then flashing his lopsided grin, he said softly "I love you"
Hermione laughed quietly and kissed him again. They rolled around on the ground, their lips seemingly unable to untangle themselves from each other. Ron bit at her lower lip and Hermione's breath hitched. It was incredible…she'd never felt something so good…
Ron released her lip and broke apart from her, moving to her slender neck to plant kisses there as well. "So I've chosen you eh?" Ron mumbled
"Yea" Hermione breathed as she closed her eyes in pleasure
Ron laughed. "Well it's bloody good that you like me as well because you're going to be stuck with me for a long time"
She quirked an eyebrow playfully, a smile playing in the corners of her lips. "Really now? Enlighten me Mr. Weasley, how long would that be?"
Ron grinned "Forever!" He cried happily, pouncing on Hermione.
Soon Hermione felt his tongue running slowly over her lip, asking for permission to enter. Opening her small mouth, she giggled a bit when Ron's tongue eventually found hers. They were timid at first, getting to know each other politely; but before they knew anything, the tongues were ravaging the other, exploring each other's mouths hungrily.
Ron's hands were wrapped around her waist, rubbing circles on the skin that was now bare since her shirt had slid up. Feeling daring, Ron ran one hand up the back of her shirt along her spine making Hermione shiver.
Mimicking him, Hermione ran her hand underneath Ron's shirt, enjoying the feeling of his muscles flinching at her touch. Wanting to see more, she pulled at the fabric, a pout on her face when it didn't immediately come off.
"Miss Granger trying to un-shirt a bloke?!" Ron asked in mock surprise "I can't believe it!"
She rolled her eyes but couldn't help the blush that crept up the sides of her face. Grinning, Ron pulled the shirt off his body, tossing it in the corner.
"Better?" He asked arrogantly, though the tips of his ears were turning red.
Hermione smiled shyly and nodded, her blush refusing to fade. Slowly approaching him, she took in every detail of his half naked body.
As expected, Quidditch had done wonders for the once lanky redhead, filling out his frame and broadening his shoulders. His chest was smooth. Hermione licked her lips subconsciously.
"Planning to devour me are you?" Ron asked
Hermione smirked and nodded her head as she brought her lips down upon his neck, kissing her way down to the newly revealed chest that she'd admired. Swirling her tongue in his chestbone, Ron moaned.
"'Mione…" He said softly
"Mm?" She asked, her hands busy sliding over his muscles.
"I…Love…you," He breathed
Hermione smiled as she began sucking on his neck. "I know"
"Can I…I mean could I…I mean only if it's alright with you"
"What are you asking Ron?" She whispered, still at work
Ron took a deep breath and said confidently, "Could I show you how much I love you?"
Hermione froze where she was, and lifted her head to meet his searching eyes, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She was speechless. Had he really just said what her ears had told her?! Was Ronald Weasley, the boy who believed she had cooties for three years actually suggesting what she thought he was?
"You're serious?" Hermione asked quietly
He nodded, a determined look in his eye, completely ignoring the fact that his ears were bright red. "Of course…only if you want to"
Hermione looked around her. A prison cell. Did she really want her first time to be in prison? Hermione shook her head. No, never would she have even considered such a thing a day ago. Having sex with Ron Weasley in prison… It was almost laughable it was so extreme. She shot the idea down in her mind. What was she thinking? She believed in abstinence. Wasn't it she who always caught students snogging behind statues and dragged them to detention instead of looking the other way? Hadn't she always stuck her nose up in the air and sniffed when Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil gushed about who their last one night stand had been? It was such a stupid thing to do; there were so many consequences! Sexually Transmitted Diseases and Pregnancy only two of such results. It was simply morally wrong to engage in sex before marriage, she believed that with her whole heart. Just imagine!
Shaking, Hermione ran her hands through a man's hair, trying to distract herself from the feeling in her stomach.
"mm…" Her husband moaned as he kissed her passionately "I'm so glad…" He mumbled incoherently "…that we saved ourselves for each other…I want my first time to be with you!"
It was like a steak through her heart. Oh how she wanted to be able to say the same thing back to him! Why had she let herself fool around all those years ago?
As he undid the clasp of her wedding dress, unzipping the zipper very slowly, Hermione buried her hands in her face.
"What's wrong love?" He asked
She shook her head and bit her lip, refusing to cry on her wedding night. "N-Nothing"
"Aw…come on. You can tell me anything. What is it?"
Hermione lifted her head slowly, her tear filled eyes meeting his. "I-I'm s-so sorry!" She whispered before letting a tear fall. "I…I'm not a virgin"
His face twisted into that of immense disappointment "Oh" he said softly
"You have to understand! It was years ago! Only that once!" She cried desperately
"Who was it?" He whispered, unable to hide the pain in his voice
Hermione looked to the ground. "It was during the war. Harry had just died…you can't imagine what we saw that night."
"So it was Ron then?" He asked jealously
Hermione nodded slowly "Yea…it was Ron"
Or…
"Hermione! I got it! I passed!!" Ron shouted happily, bursting into her flat where she had previously been pacing.
"Congratulations Ron!" She smiled up at him.
"It was such a hard test! I was sure that I hadn't made it through!"
"Of course you passed Ron. I knew you would, you were doing so well when I quizzed you last week"
He grinned. "Thanks!"
"Your welcome" She said seriously, falling back into the routine she'd created an hour ago; pacing back and forth nervously wringing her hands. Oh how could she tell him now?! Not now…not when he was so happy! Not when his future had never looked brighter! It wasn't fair to him!
"'Mione?" Ron asked concerned
"Yes?" She asked surprised, stopping where she was
"Is there something wrong?"
"Wrong? Why would you say that?!"
"Well because you just…" Ron shook his head "Never mind." Walking over to the door he paused turning back to her, smiling once again. "I'm going to go tell Mum. She'll be thrilled! I bet you she'll--"
"Ron!" She suddenly called as he disappeared down the hallway, his voice still audible
He poked his head back inside, that adorable grin still plastered over his face. "Yes poppet?"
"I…uh…We need to talk"
His grin instantly gone, Ron looked at her curiously. "Okay" He said uneasily, taking a the chair opposite the couch where Hermione was. "So what do you want to talk about?"
"Ron I…um…I have some news as well."
"Really?!" He asked excitedly. She nodded solemnly. "Is it good news?"
"Um…not really. I mean yes, of course it is. Well…I guess not in all aspects."
"Well out with it!" He said happily
Hermione took a deep breath and shut her eyes, speaking very slowly. "Well Ron you see, I'm…pregnant"
Ron's face drained of all color. "What?" He whispered
"I'm pregnant." She repeated. "I know what you're thinking. No I've never done it with anyone but you so it's obvious you're the father."
"'Mione…" Ron breathed, "I-I can't. We can't. I just finished Auror training, I don't even have a job yet!"
"I know Ron," She whispered
"I don't know the first thing about being a bloody father!"
"You think I know anything about being a mother?!" She snapped
Ron's face fell. "I'm sorry Hermione. I'm going to help you, but…I just need time to think. I-I'll talk to you later." And with that, he disapparated with a pop!
Hermione shook her head violently at the images. No…what was she thinking?!
But another scream brought her back to her life. Back to the cell she was trapped in, back to the war, back to an eager looking Ron who was waiting for an answer.
A pair of wizard shoes flashed by the window, followed by three pairs of Death Eater's shoes. Before long, the agonized cry of the man was heard. Hermione shivered.
But what if she didn't have a future past tonight? Harry had mentioned Voldemort wanting to kill them…would tomorrow be the last day of her life? It seemed likely.
And suddenly, everything Hermione had been thinking about for the past few moments, seemed irrelevant. They would come for her…they would rape her like Harry had said…then they would torture her and leave her in death's hands. That was her real reality. How likely would it be that she would live past tomorrow, much less to her wedding night? She wouldn't be alive to have anyone's baby. She would be dead.
All she had was tonight. All she had was Ron. And as she gazed lovingly into his crystal eyes, she found her reassurance, found her comfort, found her strength.
Slowly, Hermione nodded her head, giving Ron her consent. His eyes widened.
"R-really?" He sputtered
"Yes" Hermione replied, closing her eyes. There was no turning back now.
"I don't want to force you"
Hermione smiled faintly. "Don't worry. You're not forcing me to do anything." She said, burying her face in his naked chest.
"What's wrong?" He whispered
"Nothing"
"Don't say that. I know something is wrong. Hermione we really don't have to. There's plenty of--"
"Time?" she finished. He nodded. "That's the problem Ron. There isn't time! I bet we'll be dead by this time tomorrow"
"Don't say that," He said quickly
"Why not? Ron please stop playing these games of denial with me! You know it's the truth so just admit it!!"
"Hermione…" Ron looked at her with disbelief
"What did you honestly think they'd do with us here? Just leave so that eventually we'd escape?"
"No"
"Then what did you--"
"I DON'T KNOW HERMIONE!" He suddenly shouted, making Hermione jump back away from him. "BUT I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THINKING THIS WAY! I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE FUTURE! I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT I KNOW DEEP DOWN MIGHT HAPPEN! YOU KNOW ME…I'VE NEVER BEEN GOOD WITH EMOTIONS! SO DON'T GO MAKING ME SCARED ABOUT SOMETHING THAT MIGHT NOT HAPPEN!"
Hermione only stared at the ground tearfully.
"Look" He said much more quietly "I really don't want to fight with you anymore. It seems that's been about all we've done tonight. I don't want to think about the future, I just want to enjoy my time with you now"
Hermione laughed bitterly, fighting back tears, "Enjoy your time with me? You want to enjoy your time spent inside a prison? During a war?"
"No" Ron said softly "I want to enjoy my time spent with you. Look it doesn't matter to me where we are, as long as we're together. Come on 'Mione…" He leaned forwards to whisper in her ear "Let's block them out."
Hermione met his gaze, and held it for a few moments, getting his implied message that was woven in his words. He smiled a small smile, one that Hermione couldn't help but return. Leaning in to the kiss she knew he wanted to give her, Hermione had never been surer in her decision.
As the kiss intensified suddenly, Ron's hands getting lost in her long curls, Hermione's arms draped over his shoulders, it was as though someone had lit her body on fire. A new need surfaced, one that Hermione had never experienced before.
As they broke apart for air, their eyes met, both of their flames acknowledging the other.
Suddenly it was as though the temperature had rose several degrees, and Hermione was overwhelmed with the sudden urge to take her clothes off. Ron smirked at her as he noted her heavy breathing and she couldn't help but smile back.
Almost as though he were attacking her, Ron pressed her against the wall, his lips crashing on her pale skin. It was like his lips were ice, providing desperately needed relief to her burning body. Noticing that his kisses had ceased, she reluctantly opened her eyes to find Ron handling the edge of her jumper, waiting for permission. Cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink, she smiled shyly and nodded her head.
Ron pulled it off slowly, revealing a tank top underneath. Soon pulling that off as well, he chuckled as Hermione frowned at the carelessly tossed clothes. Of course she would have wanted him to fold them.
Hermione felt her face flush as his eyes raked down her body, making her feel like a doll on display. His eyes were wide with excitement and curiosity and he grinned happily to her. "Wicked" He breathed, as he kissed her hungrily. Hermione returned the kiss with just as much passion. Ron paused for oxygen, resting his forehead against hers. "You're perfect you know that?" He whispered, staring at her recently revealed breasts, between gasps for air
Hermione shook her head. She'd never been one to care much for looks, but she suddenly felt very self-conscious. "No I'm not," She whispered
Ron smiled. "You're perfect to me"
Hermione's heart leapt and love washed out from her. Grabbing her waist securely, Ron lowered her slowly to the ground, never breaking eye contact with her. And as Hermione looked deep into his eyes, she couldn't help but tear up with the prospect of what tomorrow might bring.
Ron noticed. "Hey" He soothed, squeezing her hand comfortingly, "It's okay"
"Oh Ron I'm just so scared" She whispered
"Don't be. I won't let them lay a hand on you."
"That's sweet Ron. But you know as well as I do that they'll have us separated."
"I won't let them separate us," He whispered as he kissed her cheek
Hermione reached out her arms to him, and he willingly engulfed her in a hug. She sighed. "I just don't want to think about it."
"Then don't"
"I can't help it. I'm terrified I'll loose you Ron," She said tearfully
"Shh…You know I'll never leave you"
"Not willingly. But I need you Ron"
"Well you have me right now." He said tenderly
She smiled through the tears that had made their way down her face "Yea…I guess I do"
Ron took her face in his hands, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. "Enough. You've cried too much tonight, it can't be good for you." He whispered with a faint trace of a smile on his lips
Hermione shot him a glance. "Can you blame me?"
He shook his head. "No. I'm positive we somehow transferred away from earth and landed in the pits of hell."
Lacking energy to correct him for being sac-religious, Hermione simply nodded her head in agreement. If there was one statement she was going to agree with tonight, it was that the past five or six hours had been a real life hell.
Ron continued. "And if what you think really is true, then I want to spend as much time with you as possible before morning"
"You're spending time with me right now"
Ron rolled his eyes playfully, "You know what I mean. Getting to know you." He said with a quick kiss "All of you" He added seriously
Hermione melted and the flame returned in her eyes. "Me too" She said sincerely
"Well then poppet" He said with a grin "We've got a lot to do before that bloody sun rises!"
"Ron!" She scolded, hitting him lightly
"What?!"
"You shouldn't talk like that!"
"Why not?"
"Because it's…well it's vile!"
"It is not! It's the truth!"
"Still…"
Ron laughed merrily "I love you, you know?"
Hermione giggled, "I love you too"
One kiss led to another, each one more passionate and desperate as the next. Caught up in a world entirely their own, neither noticed as particles of clothing were removed and love declarations proclaimed, that the sun had risen.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX