000 Disclaimer, I own nothing 000 Well here it is, after a hideously long delay (My deepest apologies folks) here is the final chapter :) Huge thanks to The Libran Iniquity for giving this a quick read through and huge thanks to: Joy, Volley, hoVis, Triptacular, Gammaent, Kathy Rose, tarmiriel, Alpha Pegasi, MartyCessna, for all your wonderful comments and encouragement which totally made my day! 000

I've spent a long time thinking about what Hoshi said to me in the turbo-lift. I've spent weeks thinking about all the choices I've made, all that I've done and whether I would've have done anything different. I'd like to think I would make different choices, given all I know now.

But I wouldn't.

I do love Hoshi. I love her with an intensity I've never known before, but I've come to realise that I would never have gone the other way. I would never change things if I had the option. Half of me thinks I would, that I would change everything to be with her, wreck all the friendships I have... even destroy my career for her.

But I wouldn't.

I wanted her to look at me. I wanted her to see me instead of him, but she always saw me. Hoshi always knew, she waited as long as she could for me to make a move then finally let me go and moved on. Hoshi looked at me, saw me and knew I would never act.

If I had truly seen her before I would have known this. But instead I spent my time tormenting her with my feelings.

But none of this truly matters anymore.

They're leaving.

Trip told me a few days ago, Hoshi's pregnant so naturally she's heading straight back to Earth. Trip is going with her, they're starting a family... and that's why I have to give her up. They're leaving today, a Vulcan ship has come to pick them up. I should go say my goodbyes now I guess.

But I can't help thinking of the day they married, and how I felt when the Captain said, "Speak now, or forever hold your peace."

0 0 0 0

Malcolm hot-footed it down the corridor, he was going to miss them if he didn't put his best foot forward. As he rounded the corner he saw them about to climb into the airlock, with Archer and T'Pol watching them go. "Trip! Hoshi!"

They turned to look at him. Malcolm looked at Hoshi, opened his mouth to say something, then faltered and lowered his head. Trip grinned broadly having seemingly not noticed. "It's about time you showed up, I thought you weren't gonna say goodbye."

Malcolm slowed his pace and pasted half a smile onto his face. "I always make my goodbyes, you should know that."

Trip nodded still grinning. Malcolm stuck out his hand. "It's been an honour, Mr Tucker." Trip gripped his hand firmly then pulled him into a hug.

"Thanks," Trip whispered into Malcolm's ear, and as he pulled away from Malcolm he gave him a meaningful look, a little louder he added, "Likewise, Mal."

An odd expression flitted across Malcolm's face and he nodded once. He turned to Hoshi, she leant forward, gave him a tentative kiss on the cheek then hugged him lightly.

"Good luck," said Malcolm. He gave them a half smile, waved once then walked away. Then, when he was out of sight he broke into a run and fled. He eventually found himself in a strangely empty mess hall staring out one of the windows.

0 0 0 0

I wanted to tell them everything, I wanted to blurt it all out even though the Captain, T'Pol and Trip were there, I wanted her to be mine. After all I'd thought after all the time I'd spent trying to convince myself to let her go I ran down to that airlock to speak the truth about how I felt. But, when I got there and opened my mouth to speak, I couldn't. I couldn't do it. Instead I made my pathetic goodbyes.

When Trip said 'Thanks', I suddenly realised that he knew. He knew everything...and was thanking me. Him! Thanking me! Thanking me because he thought I never acted on it.

I didn't realise I was so transparent.

I can't believe he thanked me, if I'd have made different choices I would have wrecked his life, tried to entice his wife away. And he thanked me, because I didn't.

When Hoshi hugged me I didn't want to let go, a world of hurt and all thoughts seemed to silence when she hugged me. But I let go.

I let her go.

0 0 0 0

Malcolm stood at the window staring out into the stars, as he watched, the ship disengaged from the Enterprise and left. "Speak now, or forever hold your peace," he mumbled to himself. Malcolm rested his forehead against the window a moment, his shoulders shook once. Moments later he brushed a hand across his eyes, glanced around the still empty room, pulled his uniform straight and left for the armoury.

He had work to do.

000 Please review! I'd love to know what you thought, it took physical effort not to shove Trip out of the nearest airlock and have Hoshi and Malcolm race off into the sunset (and I mean REAL effort)

And in case any of you remember one of my previously abandoned stories Daddy's Little Lady, I've dug out the files and I'm gonna finish it :)

Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed it! 000