(A/N: I know by now that I sound like a broken record, so I'm not going to explain why this chapter is late! All I can say is that I give you all full rights to yell at me however you wish, especially if the next update takes a week! I really am sorry, I feel terrible knowing I haven't updated! This chapter is shorter than usual, but I figured that some was better than nothing at all, so hopefully this should make next chapter easier to write. I realize that this story is exteremely sad, and this chapter is no different. My original ending is near though, so I'm trying to figure out a way I can redo my plot charts to try to continue this, cause I'm not ready to stop! The responses were absolutely FABULOUS for last chapter! 16 reviews for one chapter! AND, we hit the 200 review mark! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! You've got no idea what this means to me! For times sake, I'm going to try to respond to everyone's reviews in a sentence or less. This does not mean I didn't appreciate your review or whatever. I simply am pressed for time on Tuesdays! Again, I thank you all for being patient with me! And I hope you all are enjoying the story! Much love, Haystack)
To all my LOVELY reviewers…
volleyballin17: thanks for such an enthusiastic review!
Bhekie: Sorry you were in pain! Hopefully this update put you out of it!
Smiles28: Yes yes, it's sad isn't it? Your questions should be answered in this chapter!
Aphrodite2: So nice to meet a new reviewer! Thanks so much for reviewing, hope to hear from you again!
Alicia-B: lol yes I am serious. Glad you liked Hr's pov! Yes, things with R/Hr will get a bit mixed!
Lafawnduh4: I'm glad you think a week isn't too long for an update! That's wonderful! Lol
RedRose013: You can't give up hope for them! I haven't lost it! Have faith! It'll work out on its own! I promise!
wick3d77: lol your review made me smile! So nice to meet a new reviewer! Hope to hear from you again!
cumbacksirius: Aww…I'm sorry I made you cry! But it's pretty emotional I'll admit! Lol glad you liked it!
ShimmeringEvil: Alas, I'm sorry that nothing happy happens in this chapter! Soon! I promise!
LoganAlpha30: So nice to meet a new reviewer! Well I must say, that I'm tempted to respond to your threat but I'm afraid I'll give something away! lol have no worries!
Ron'n'Hermione: You're right. It was morbid. This chapter isn't much better I'm afraid. But your review was so sweet! Thanks!
dancerrdw: Glad your liking it! Thanks for reviewing so faithfully!
nattieb: I feel terrible that the glimmer you requested won't be in this chapter but it's coming!
CrazyWomanLovesYou: lol your review made me laugh! Glad you're enjoying the story!
AmyChris: What a sweet review! Glad you liked it! As for being paid…afraid not! Though it'd be nice…I need some new shoes! lol
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
CHAPTER TWNETY TWO: INSANITY
Ron stood in the darkest corner, gladly welcoming the shadows that surrounded him. His mind was on overload, Ron couldn't for the life of him get it to slow down, and so here he sat, his face buried into his hands, utter despair clenching his heart.
Too much was happening, how had it all happened so fast? One moment they were racing towards freedom, the next he was back in his cell with Hermione's new fate revealed. The thought of what she would succumb to tomorrow made him want to vomit and his eyes burn in jealousy. She was his…how dare anyone take her away from him? He'd lost his virginity to her…how on earth was he supposed to think about Voldemort raping her? And yet…neither had spoken since they'd been brought back. He'd apologized a few times, but she refused to meet his gaze, her wide eyes staring at Harry's body as it was paraded in front of them, acting as if under some sort of trance.
As Harry's body was carelessly tossed to the dirty ground and the Death Eaters had a few good laughs, the bars clanked shut and darkness overwhelmed.
He'd immediately reached for Hermione, only to find her gone, walking slowly towards the corpse in the corner. He'd tried to grab her hand, but she'd shrugged it off, making her words earlier sting in his mind painfully. Deep down he refused to believe that the only love she had for him was brotherly, yet on the surface…Ron couldn't help but believe it.
"Hermione?" He had whispered his voice strained. He had to know…had to figure everything out.
She didn't answer. Her brown eyes were frozen open; the same horrified expression on her face, as she reached the body, and carefully kneeled down beside it. She said nothing…didn't move.
"'Mione?" He'd tried again.
Slowly, Hermione reached a shaking hand out, softly running it through Harry's black hair. Suddenly gaining confidence, in one sudden movement, she flipped the body over.
A rotting smell filled Ron's nostrils as the obvious scent of decay fluttered about the cell, making Ron's heart skip a beat or two. Harry's eyes were closed thankfully, something that Ron was eternally grateful for. His hair was still tousled, white bits of debris in it, clashing horribly with his raven locks. His shirt was ripped a little and spots of blood covered him. His skin seemed to take on an almost blue hue to it in the moonlight, something that made Harry appear even deader to Ron. Shuddering, Ron shut his eyes, unable to withstand the pain. He backed into the corner, repulsed by the sight.
Hermione seemed not to mind, something that bothered Ron for some reason.
"HERMIONE!" He suddenly shouted.
She ignored him, too caught up in the sight of her best friend to notice her boyfriend's cries. Gingerly placing a delicate hand to Harry's face, tears fell from her eyes.
"Oh Harry…" She whispered before breaking out into an open, heartbreaking sob, throwing herself over the body of her friend.
Ron's heart felt ripped away from him, the gesture not only hurting Ron's feelings but pulling at his heartstrings too. He couldn't take this anymore! He didn't want anything to do with that body! That was not his best friend! Harry was alive and out there, just biding his time until he could come and save Ron and Hermione from this place! He was the hero! The man Ron always depended on. He wouldn't have left Ron like this, not without a goodbye.
The thought made tears prick his eyes, but he simply swallowed them, Hermione's sobs enough to be his own.
Grabbing a bit of Harry's T-shirt and crying into it, the way she did with him, Hermione began whispering little murmurs that Ron strained his ears to hear. "I-I'm so sorry Harry…so sorry…all my fault…not fair…Voldemort…" The little mumblings had more of an impact on Ron than anything before, and for a moment, a fleeting passing moment, Ron wanted to throw himself beside the body of his best mate and cry as openly as Hermione was currently doing now. "No Harry…not you…hero….my best friend…my first friend…No Harry No!"
Ron turned around, he couldn't watch any longer. Staring at his shaking hands, he looked up into the starless sky.
Though Ron had never admitted it to anyone, he loved the stars. When he was little, his Mum had once told him that the stars were the eyes of people gone before him; that as long as there were little golden dots in the sky, he was safe. It was silly really that he'd believed it as long as he did, but it had always made him smile when he would sneak out of his room or out of the dormitory, to see the stars twinkling reassuringly. For as long as he'd star gazed, he'd never been presented with a starless night. And as he searched the skies hopefully for any sign of just a single star, his stomach plummeted when he found nothing.
Ron stole another glance at Hermione. She'd stopped her mutterings for now but Ron had to take a double take at what she was doing.
Hermione was bent over the body, licking her finger and wiping the spots of debris and blood off his face, the way she used to when Harry had a bit of food on his nose. Motherly, she then began straightening up his robes; folding down his collar, tying Harry's cloak up in a neat little bow; the same bow she'd always tied Harry and his cloaks up with. He and Harry had been teased by the other blokes of course and Ron would always turn beet red, immediately untying the darn little thing, where as Harry would shrug; secretly happy at some motherly attention…even if it was from his best friend.
But as if that wasn't enough, she kept going; straightening up Harry's appearance as though he were going on a date or giving some important speech. She ran her fingers through his hair, shaking out all of the white powder that was in it, something that made Ron jealous for some unknown reason. Hermione had never run her hands through any bloke's hair but his. She tied his shoes, rubbed out the scuffmarks in them, extended his shirt so that there were no wrinkles; she even tried to tame his famously unruly hair.
She was working herself up, Ron could see that much. She began to make each change faster and faster, her breaths becoming labored. Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she huffed and puffed.
"Hermione don't!" He cried out to her. She shot him a look and continued even faster than before.
"Don't listen to him Harry," She whispered, but yet it was loud enough for him to hear.
Ron's mouth open in horror. His mind froze and he stood gaping at Hermione. S-She was talking to a dead body! To Harry's dead body!
"Don't worry Harry. Ron and I will protect you. W-We won't let V-Voldemort get you anymore." She cried through her tears. Kissing his cheek she whispered, "You're safe"
"Hermione no!" Ron shouted, jumping up from his chair and grabbing her arms. She ripped it away from him.
"I'm sorry Harry. I know you hate it when Ron and I fight" She whispered again
Ron lost it. He put his arm around her waist, making a move to pull her back and away from the body.
"NOO!" She screamed hysterically, reaching out for anything and everything for her to grab onto.
"HERMIONE!" Ron grunted, using all of his strength to pull her away.
"NO! NO! DON'T LET HIM TAKE ME AWAY! HARRY!" She cried out insanely, her arms still reaching out towards Harry even though Ron was pulling her away.
Once she was away, Ron tried to hold her in his arms but she would have none of it. Scrambling around frantically, she scratched and pushed at him to try to get away.
"HERMIONE JUST HOLD STILL!"
"NO! NO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! I NEED HARRY!"
"HERMIONE PLEASE!"
"HE NEEDS US RON! HE'S ASKING FOR OUR HELP!"
Not knowing what else to do, Ron slammed her against the wall, pinning her arms above her head. Shocked at his sudden move, Hermione remained still for a moment or two. "Stop" Ron said sternly, looking into her eyes.
Hermione's lip trembled and she shook her head. Sobbing, she tried to push past him, but Ron was stronger than she was.
"Ron let me go!" She cried, her eyes open in fear
"NO!" He snapped "YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A NUTTER!"
"I…no….he….Harry" She fumbled for words
"THAT IS A DEAD BODY HERMIONE!"
"It's Harry!"
"WHO CARES WHO IT IS? IT IS A CORPSE!"
"Ron please let me go…" She whimpered, trying to push past him again
"Why? So you can go off on your psycho rant! I don't want you near that thing!"
Suddenly, Hermione's eyes narrowed dangerously and sudden fire appeared in her eyes. Glaring at him menacingly she growled, "THAT THING! THAT THING RON, IS OUR BEST FRIEND!"
"WHY WERE YOU TALKING TO IT!"
"IT'S HARRY!"
"I DON'T CARE WHAT IT IS, IT'S MAKING YOU CRAZY!"
It was as if he'd hit her again; she recoiled from his words in the same manner. Tears gathering in her eyes, she leaned against the wall, her face in her hands as she began to cry.
"You…didn't" She whispered, acting as though the words were painful to say
"I didn't what? Call you crazy! Bloody Hell I did! You were acting it Hermione!"
Placing a hand on her chest she cried defensively, "I AM NOT CRAZY!"
"YOU WERE TALKING TO A DEAD BODY!"
"I HAVE TO RON!"
"WHY THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO TALK TO HIM!"
"BECAUASE! I DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO YOU!"
"OH YES YOU DO!"
"YOU DON'T HAVE CONTROL OVER ME!"
"I KNOW THAT!" He snapped
"YOU'RE JUST LIKE ONE OF THEM. YOU DON'T GIVE A DAMN DO YOU?"
"About you?" Ron asked painfully
"YES!" She shrieked "I'M NOT SOME PIECE OF MEAT! AND I'M CERTAINLY NOT SOMEONE YOU WALK ALL OVER!"
Ron was silent, his eyes flashing dangerously. "You have no idea what your talking about" He finally gritted between his teeth.
"What?" Hermione caught her breath, caught off guard.
"In case you don't remember, you are the one who doesn't love me" He said, crossing his arms, and turning his back to her.
"What! You can't honestly believed what I said earlier!" Hermione cried, her eyes suddenly holding desperate guilt in them.
"Why not? Is that so hard to believe after the display you just pulled over there with Harry?"
"BECAUSE YOU INSENSITIVE PRAT, IF YOU DON'T REACAL, I'VE TOLD YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN THAT I LOVE YOU. I HAD BLOODY SEX WITH YOU!"
"You were comforting me Hermione! And I was comforting you! Just admit it, we both know that it's true!"
"NO RON! THAT'S NOT TRUE!"
"Yes it is! You were comforting poor ickle Ronnekins. I know you Hermione, you like to take control of things, you hate to see people unhappy. I wouldn't put it past you—"
"TO SLEEP WITH EVERY GUY I WANT TO COMFORT! IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK OF ME RON!"
"No but—"
"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I COMFORTED H-HARRY! SO YOU'RE SUGGESTING THAT I SLEPT WITH HIM EVERY TIME I WANTED TO CHEER HIM UP AND LIFT HIS BURDENS!"
By this time, Ron had stood up, and he was marching determinedly towards her, abandoning his passive comebacks and using his sharp tongue.
"I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE!" He cried in frustration, throwing his hands up into the air.
"WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE!" She cried hysterically, standing up as well "THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT I LOVE YOU! HOW MANY BLOODY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT TO GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!"
"WELL OBVIOUSLY IT DIDN'T GET THROUGH THIS WEASLEY'S SKULL!"
Hermione took a step backwards, tears falling down her face. She shook her head and looked Ron in the eye for a moment. It was only a fleeting second, but in it, Ron could tell what she was going to do. She was trying to run away. As she brushed past him, he panicked, grabbing her wrist and twisting her around.
"RON LET ME GO!" She snapped, her curls whipping around her face
"NO!" He cried, pulling her to him, and holding her in his arms.
"Ron what are you doing?" She asked, her tone not as sharp
Breathing in her scent, Ron sighed. "I don't know. I feel like I don't know where we stand. It keeps changing on me."
"No Ron" She shook her head, her voice much more quiet "It doesn't change. It's never changed. You just think it does. My feelings for you have always been the same and they're never going to change. That thick head of yours keeps confusing you." Her mouth curved upwards as she ran her hand through his thick red locks.
He closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling of her hand in his hair. "But with Voldemort"
"I was playing. It's called acting," She said with a smile, running her hand along his face
"B-But it sounded so real!" He protested
Hermione frowned. "I had to make it real, Voldemort wouldn't have believed it otherwise."
"Oh"
As Ron felt a pair of lips brush his cheek, and Hermione slip from his arms, resuming her old spot at Harry's side he lifted his eyes to hers.
"Hermione?"
"Yes Ron?"
"What were you doing with Harry?" He asked
Her eyes traveled to the ground. "You mean earlier?"
"Yea"
Hermione bit her lip. "I was talking to him. You heard right."
Surprised, Ron took a step forward, bending down so that he was level with her. Searching her eyes he said softly, "Why?"
"Because Ron…" She said gazing outside the barred window. "I'd tried to accept his death, but seeing him like this…I can't describe it, it ruined everything I wanted to believe. It's easier to pretend that he's still alive."
"I told you" He said softly
Tear filled eyes met his, "Yea…you did."
"Ron?"
"Yea?"
"Can you do me a favor?"
"Anything"
"C-Can we give Harry a burial?"
Ron had to blink a few times to make sure he'd heard everything correctly. "A-A burial?" He choked
Biting her lip to hide tears, she nodded. "I just…want it behind me. For now. At least before tomorrow"
With the realization of what tomorrow was, Ron's stomach dropped. Fighting back the tears of his heart that was currently screaming in agony, he nodded.
"Hermione?"
"Y-Yea?"
"Could you do me a favor?" He replayed her words
Smiling faintly, she nodded. "Anything you want Ron"
"Can-Could you tell me again?"
"Tell you what?"
"One last time, to set the story straight."
Nodding and grabbing the sides of face, Hermione gently steered Ron's face towards hers, and rested her forehead against his. Breathing in and out deeply, they matched their breathing into one single unison sound. Pausing, Hermione closed her eyes and brushed her lips past Ron's ears, "I love you"
Nudging her nose lovingly, Ron sighed contently, "I'd always hoped so"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX