To Start Anew

You took all there was to take,

And left me with an empty plate

And you don't care about it, yeah.

And I am givin' up this game

I'm leaving you with all the blame cause I don't care, yeah, yeah yeah,

Could you look me in the eye?

And tell me that you're happy now, oohh oohhh

Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,

Are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh

Are you happy now?

Are you happy now? yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you really have everything you want?

You can't ever give somethin' you ain't got

You can't run away from yourself

Could you look me in the eye?

and tell me that you're happy now, yeah, yeah

come on, tell it to my face or have i been replaced,

are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh

are you happy now?

(Are You Happy Now?—Michelle Branch)

Remus watched as Harry carefully and slowly peeled off the label from the bottle of butterbeer in front of him. They were the only two people awake in the house or at least upstairs in their rooms, or so he hoped. Christmas had come and gone at Grimmauld Place, Hermione's absence was notable by some of the packages that were left for her as well as the gifts she had left her friends. Harry had joined in the festivities, finally coming out of his room after his…attack on her but he was pensive and quiet. He was finally taking showers again on a regular basis and taking care of himself but some days, like today, his quieter days, there was a shadow that formed on his jaw line that made him seem older than his seventeen years. He supposed going through all Harry was going through had a tendency to age you faster than you should, he would know, being a werewolf was no walk in the park.

"The night Dumbledore died," Harry spoke in a low and quiet voice, "we were attempting to destroy a horcrux."

Lupin stared at him, taking in this startling revelation. The Order had always wondered what it was that Harry and Dumbledore were up to that night, where they had gone that they had missed the beginning of the attack on Hogwarts.

"Do you know what that is?" Harry asked, looking up at the last marauder.

Remus had only general knowledge of what a horcrux was. There was passing mention of them in the Dark Magic books that he, James and Sirius used to joke about. Dark Magic that was beyond their capabilities, Dark Magic that no one, not even the greasiest and vilest Snape, would attempt to do.

"Ripping a piece of your soul and transferring to another object or person," Remus replied.

"Voldemort created six of them," Harry continued. "Four of them have been destroyed. They all have to be destroyed in order to finally finish him off."

Remus exhaled and put his hands on the table, leaning forward as he eyed the weary teen. "That's what you three have been up to?" Harry's eyes moved away from his gaze. "The mirror?" he asked and Harry nodded. "The potion accident in the room…," Harry nodded again. "Hermione's—"

"No," Harry cut him off, a troubled and pained look crossed his face. Remus didn't want to push him on that topic. He was lucky enough to have Harry open up to him with this.

"Thank you for trusting me with this," Remus said.

"Sometimes I feel like you're the only adult I can trust," Harry replied.

Remus frowned. "Harry, destroying the horcruxes is a very, very dangerous task."

"It's the only way," he replied softly.

"Must this war sacrifice our children's childhoods?" Remus sighed wearily.

Harry propped his upper arm on the table, bending his forearm up to cradle his head as he looked at him. "I never had a childhood," he replied simply. "Voldemort made sure of that." He reached out rolled the empty butterbeer bottle back in forth between his fingers. Lupin could tell that he wasn't really watching the bottle, Harry's gaze was far off. "But you're right. Sometimes, I wonder if the sacrifices we make are too much," he said in a near whisper. The pained expression flickered briefly on his face before he masked it with a look of detachment.

"Thank you for trusting me with this," Remus said softly. Harry looked over at him and gave him an odd look.

"I think thanks are a bit premature considering the graveness of what I've just told you. I've put your life in more danger just by letting you into this," Harry sighed. "But I don't want to hide this burden from you anymore."

"I'll not tell a soul," Remus assured him.

"I know you won't," Harry said before he gazed off into nothingness.

"So…two left?" he asked.

Harry nodded slowly. "I don't know what one of them is but the other is a…" he stopped suddenly and cleared his throat in an awkward manner, "…a gold locket."

Lupin stared at Harry then rolled his eyes. "Like one that you could find in jewelry stores or pawn shops?" Harry reddened slightly. "Well, that explains Hermione's little jaunt during the summer." Harry smirked and Lupin frowned as a thought came forward. "Harry," he said, leaning forward, "does Draco Malfoy know about the horcruxes?"

Harry sat back and thought this over. "No, I don't think so," he said.

"I'm only asking because of the video we have of Hermione and Draco in the jewelry store."

"That was something different," Harry shook his head.

"Do you remember asking me about Unbreakable Vows and the Fidelius?" Lupin asked and Harry nodded slowly.

"She's, um, well, the Fidelius is broken," he replied awkwardly.

"Is that why you were in her head?" he asked and Harry looked away. "So, it's broken. You're sure of it?"

"Malfoy…jinxed it so that if she broke it, both of them would most definitely know," Harry shifted awkwardly. He didn't really want to be talking about this, he wasn't at all comfortable with the topic. He looked up at his former professor. "What?" he asked at Remus' frown.

"It's just that," he scratched the back of his head, "Hermione can't stand him but yet she's constantly taking risks for him."

"That was the idea, wasn't it?" Harry said bitterly.

"Harry," Remus said in a very serious tone, "Hermione wouldn't normally agree to even put herself in this situation unless Draco was holding something over her." He sighed. "And considering how long this has been going on, it had to have been big."

It happened at the most inconvenient time. He had been walking up the steps of Hogwarts with the two incompetent aurors when he felt the sting on his arm. He couldn't attend to it at the moment and it only grew more awkward when Headmistress McGonagall greeted him. The aurors had left him in her care and he had to endure an hour long lecture about leaving the safety of the school. He tuned out of it. The stinging on his arm becoming a bit uncomfortable. When he was finally allowed to leave her presence, he was escorted back to his common room. In the privacy of his room, then and only then did he finally roll up his sleeve and touched his wand to his skin. Dark ink swirled away from the point of contact, snaking around forming and joining lines until the Dark Mark was revealed and he felt its familiar tug.

Dolohov and McNair opened the doors in front of him as he stepped forward. The tall and dark wood was engraved with the Dark Mark as well. He walked into a round chamber where the Dark Lord sat on the far end, flanked by Bellatrix and Snape. Nagini hissed at him, coiled at the Dark Lord's feet.

"You insolent little fool," Bellatrix sniped, "you do not keep the Dark Lord waiting when you are summoned, you—"

"I was in Headmistress McGonagall's office when the summons came," Draco snarled back. "I can't exactly disappear in front of her." He knelt down in front of Voldemort.

"There are certain exceptions in his position," Snape said to Bellatrix. "The important thing is that he arrived as soon as he could." Draco got back up to his feet.

"Unlike most of you," Voldemort spoke up, "the Malfoy's have some sort of use in this society. Well, one of them at least, Lucius has become a sort of loose cannon lately." Voldemort noticed Draco's uneasy movement at the mention of his father. "Lucius does not take well the fact that I hold you in higher favor. That is his own fault, he has failed me so many times but still…he is a Malfoy. I assume he's trying to make you look incompetent in my eyes."

"That's an understatement," Draco muttered.

Bellatrix spoke up again. "You do not speak—" She was cut off when Voldemort held up a hand.

"The young Malfoy was only speaking the truth," he said. A faint smirk grew on his face. "After all, I do know a thing or two about father-son dysfunction."

Draco could feel the Dark Lord's penetrating gaze on him.

"I believe I may have underestimated you, Draco," he said. "I had a most interesting discovery the other day. I was…wandering about when I discovered that Potter was most desperately trying to discover the connection you had with his mudblood friend. I applaud your little curse you attached to it. The mudblood nearly died, how clever of you." Draco's insides turned to ice but he showed nothing on the outside. "Her blood was literally on his hands and from what I had seen, I doubt she's going to let him near her again. Even if she did, Potter is probably so wracked with guilt that he won't touch her. I was hoping he'd throw himself off a tall building but…"

"Potter's weakness has always been his friends," Snape added.

"And this is where you come in again, Draco," Voldemort looked at the young man.

Draco stared at him. "You want me to get chummy with his friends?" he asked, incredulously. "You must be joking!"

"Crucio!"

Draco fell to the floor in pain, screaming. His nerves felt as if they were on fire.

"You're going to do what I say," Voldemort said, releasing Draco.

"Okay, okay," he said, gasping for breath and staggering to his feet.

"Crucio!" Voldemort hit him again with the curse, making him fall back to the ground. "I want to know what those little brats are up to, what plans they are making, who they are making them with." He released Draco from the curse.

"Yes Master," he gasped only to be hit again with the Cruciatus.

"If you fail me," Voldemort said in a deadly voice, "I will concentrate all my efforts into finding your mother. Her death will not be a slow one and you'll be the one to do it. Now get out of my sight!"

The doors to the chamber flew open and Draco felt himself slide across the ground until he smacked into the wall on the other side of the doors. They slammed shut and Draco once again attempted to get to his feet. He felt sick.

"So the little Malfoy thinks he can take his father's place in the Dark Lord's circle?" McNair asked as he stepped over to him. He kicked out is foot and made contact with Draco's abdomen. He curled up in pain, coughing and gasping. Dolohov leaned over him and grabbed a fistful of hair, yanking his head up and taking a deep breath.

"Hmm, I can smell the little mudblood on you," he sneered at Draco then slammed his head back down on the ground. Draco felt a blinding pain and saw stars. "Steal me some of the mudblood's knickers and I'll keep your father at bay."

"Get off me you sick fuck!" Draco replied, getting angry. Dolohov only laughed before releasing him.

Harry walked into the lobby of the Ministry at the peak of the start of the workday. It was a bit crowded with everyone bustling to get to their offices. "Hold the elevator," he said, jogging to squeeze himself into the already crammed car.

The sound of paper rustling above everyone's heads from the airplane memos and the low chatter of fellow co-workers filled in the silence. Harry didn't know anyone in the car but his mind was on what Kingsley may want to talk to him about. He was the one who had sent the message that he needed to speak with him.

The ride was a long one, considering they stopped at every floor to let someone off. The doors opened letting the rest of the car's passengers off and Harry stepped back to lean against the far wall and close his eyes. He thought about Hermione and he wondered how she was doing, what she was doing, was she enjoying the rest of her holiday? What would happen when he saw her again at Hogwarts? His heart ached for that moment and dreaded it at the same time. Most of all, he missed her.

A faint and familiar scent suddenly filled his nostrils and his mind tossed around where he had smelt it before. He opened his eyes, and in his peripheral, he realized that he wasn't alone in the lift. It was if time had somehow slowed down to a crawl and he could feel the blood rushing in his ears, his heart was pounding in his chest. He was momentarily stunned. His hand felt a ghost of the pain she had inflicted on him.

She stood in the corner of the lift wearing a hideous hot pink cardigan, the ridiculous bow still perched on her head, her toad-like face was watching him. "Hello Harry Potter," she said. Harry instinctively flexed his right hand, the one that still bore the faint scars on the back from very undeserved and painful detentions. He blinked at her then stared straight ahead.

"I saw the article about you the other day," she said, disregarding Harry's blatant message that he had no desire at all to acknowledge her presence. "People still cater to the attention that you so desperately seek?" Harry kept his eyes forward. "I personally do not care for the rubbish that they print in the Quibbler. The article that everyone was talking about was pure fiction, I told them so." The muscles in his jaw tensed and he shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he stared at the doors ahead of him.

"I tend to stick to more reputable papers like the Daily Prophet," she continued on. "In fact, I'm in the latest article about you. I was the only former teacher of yours brave enough to come forward and expose this sham of a hero story they have printing at that other publication." Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard and he could feel his temper rising as she baited him like she always did in fifth year. Except this time, there was no Hermione to tell him to back off. He began to think of the manual for his Broomstick Servicing Kit that Hermione had bought him.

"I mean, honestly, who would believe that you of all people could take on three alleged Death Eaters? I had to set the record straight as your former Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, I, above all, know exactly what you're capable of. Readers can be so blind. Nobody thought it odd that the 'young woman you saved' was none other than Hermione Granger. The same insolent little girl who nearly sent me, her teacher and Headmistress, to my death. People can be such silly and stupid romantics but from what read of that girl, she's no stranger to being linked to other famous young men—"

Harry jabbed at the Elevator Stop button and turned to Dolores Umbridge. The lights in the car became very dim and there was a low rumble. She pressed herself back against the wall, her eyes widening as he approached her. He placed both hands by her to pin her to where she was. "Say what you want about me, I don't care," he said in a low and surprisingly calm voice, "but don't even dare think about going after my friends. I will make what those centaurs did to you look like a cheering charm placed on a caffeinated fairy." He leaned even closer to her. "You have no idea what I'm capable of."

He stepped away from her and released the stop button as the lights brightened back up. A moment later the doors opened to his floor and he stepped out of the lift, not even glancing at the trembling and pale Umbridge in the car.

There was only a moderate amount of activity in the office. The auror trainees bustled about with stacks of papers and files in their hands to deliver to the aurors that they were working with, several of them balancing cups of coffee in their hands.

He nodded to a few of those whom he recognized and gave a formal wave to the aurors whose desks he passed on the way to see Kingsley. He knocked politely on his office door.

"Morning Harry," he said, lifting his head briefly from the file on his desk. "Come on in and close the door behind you before you take a seat." Harry did as he was asked, sitting down in silence for only a moment as Kingsley signed off on a report and put it away.

"Harry, I'm just going to come right down to it," he said, turning back to the teen. "You're off the Granger case."

"What!" Harry said, stunned.

"To be honest with you, I should've thought this through more clearly before assigning it to you."

"But I—"

"Harry you were assigned to protect her and you, instead, nearly killed her," Kingsley said patiently and Harry slumped back angrily in his chair. "You were way too emotionally involved in this case and I should've taken that into consideration."

"She's my best friend," he said quietly, not looking at Kingsley.

"Harry, she was more than that," he replied firmly. "The smartest thing you did was send her away with her parents. I'm assigning someone more neutral to this case."

"Fine," Harry replied in a whisper. Not that he had a choice in this anyway.

"And as such," Kingsley continued. "You are no longer forced to continue on at Hogwarts." Harry looked up at this.

"I don't have to go back?" he asked.

"That's up to you. Like I said, you're off the case and therefore no longer forced to attend. If you wish to go back, that's your prerogative. However," he stressed, "I should remind you that in order to complete your training and be a full-fledged Auror, you need to finish your education at Hogwarts. The choice is yours."

"Wait, wait, wait!"

Harry was so lost in his thoughts that he nearly missed flinging his arm out to stop the doors from closing. A young witch clambered into the lift with him, spilling some of the stacks of files and papers in her arms.

"Shit," she muttered as she knelt down to pick them up.

Harry couldn't help but notice the nice outfit she was wearing, the fitted white blouse and the short grey skirt that showed off her smooth long legs that ended in pretty little sandals and painted toenails. Her dark hair was wrapped up in a bun with some hairs falling out of place and falling into her face.

"Here, let me help," he said, kneeling down and picking up some of the files.

"Harry?"

He looked up at her sharply. "Cho?"

"Wow! Uh, hi!" she said as she got to her feet. "What are you doing here?"

"I was in the Auror department. You?" He stood and straightened the files in his arms.

"Ministry Assistant," she replied, struggling with the files she had in her arms and reaching for the pile that Harry had.

"That's okay, I've got this," he said, offering to help her. A smile of relief formed over her face and she braced herself against the wall of the elevator.

"Could you press the lower button?" she asked. Harry looked at her curiously, she was heading down to the Magical Research Department. She bent one knee, bringing her foot back to take her sandal off, repeating the motion with her other foot.

"I knew I shouldn't have broken in these shoes today," she grumbled. Harry really had no idea what she was talking about. "The git has me running all over the place every damn day." She straightened and looked at him. "I know Percy Weasley is your best friend's brother and all but he really is a first class wanker." Harry responded to her comment with a wry smile.

"Still, assistant to Percy Weasley in the Minister's office isn't a bad start," he offered helpfully. It really was a good opportunity for someone fresh out of Hogwarts…if the Ministry didn't suck.

"If he doesn't kill me first," she mumbled. "The guy has me running around non-stop. 'Fetch me this…find me that…on your way in could you stop by the muggle Starbucks and get me a scone and a latte…'" She huffed and blew a strand of hair out of her face.

Harry held in a burst of laughter that threatened to seep out.

"Hey I read the article in the Quibbler the other day," she said with a soft smile as Harry shifted uncomfortably. "Very brave Harry Potter," she commended him softly. "Really it was a wonderful thing. You've given hope to so many people. Everyone in the office was reading it, well," she added quickly, "all of us assistants. Scrimgour, Umbridge and Weasley banned it from the office. In fact, they banned the Quibbler altogether and are petitioning to make the Daily Prophet the only acceptable piece of reading material outside of Ministry documents.

"Umbridge, go figure," he muttered.

Cho rolled her eyes. "Tell me about it. It's a little too familiar an action. Anyway, we still read it, it's just hidden in our purses and desks."

"Rebelling are we?" he asked with a mischievous grin.

Cho blushed furiously. "We all do our little parts."

Being as he was still technically an Unofficial Auror-in-Training, Harry didn't have access to the research labs, but he helped Cho just the same. He eyed her badge with interest as she waved it front of the magical sensor to Lab Level One. Cho noticed his gaze.

"I get unlimited access in the building," she explained, half-bragging her importance of her position. "This job has gotta have some perks."

"Unlimited access?" he asked, eyeing the plaque by the doorway listing all five levels of the Research Department. Level Five was very restricted, only a select few ministry workers were allowed access here. Kingsley had it but he still had to go through a lot of paperwork for it.

"Unlimited access," she grinned. Harry watched her clip the badge back on the hem of her shirt so it rested against her hip.

She worked efficiently, quickly handing off the paperwork and files, picking up more as Harry followed behind, taking in all of the work going on around him. There were some whispers and stares as he made his way through the lab. On the second floor, he noticed that many of the females had clustered together and some had shyly smiled and waved at him. He politely smiled back at them. By the third floor, he noticed that most of the females had suddenly become a little more made up, their hair done, make-up applied. He was beginning to feel a bit more uncomfortable with some of the dreamy far-off looks the women were giving him. He wondered if maybe the Ministry was working them all a little bit too hard that they might need to get out of the lab for awhile and see the outside world.

"Sorry Harry," Cho said, turning to him and taking the stack of papers and files from his arms. "But I can't let you past Level Three." They were standing in the Department's foyer by their private elevators. "You'll have to take the lift back down to Level One to get out of here."

"Yeah, it's no problem," Harry smiled. "It was nice to catch up."

Cho bit her lower lip and smiled. She tore a piece of parchment off one of the papers she was holding and reached back to remove what Harry thought was a clip holding her hair in a bun. It was a quill and as she removed it, her hair fell into a lovely cascade of dark silky hair. A couple of years ago, the action would've brought him to his knees but instead, he felt a sharp pang of longing for Hermione. She sometimes used a quill to knot up her hair and he loved it when she removed it and her hair would come tumbling down, the scent of her shampoo would fill his nostrils and stir strong desires within him. He wondered if he would ever get over her or if he even wanted to.

"Here's my owl address, the address to my flat, my floo access code and my communication charm code so you can get a hold of me whenever," she said, handing him the parchment.

Harry took it as his eyes fell on her badge again. "Yeah, I'll give you a call sometime," he replied.

"Good day Miss Chang!"

"Miles!" Cho replied with a smile.

The lift doors had opened and a strange and eccentric looking wizard was standing before them. He was short and portly man with white hair that stuck up in every direction, he even had some sprouting out of his ears. He wore faded brown leather shoes, plaid pants that were a little short for him since they showed off his argyle patterned socks. He had bright red suspenders that clashed with his baby blue and wrinkled button-down shirt. He wore a white cloak over the clothes that resembled a muggle lab coat and Harry could see his wand sticking out of one of the pockets. He was holding a large wire cage with mice inside divided by a wire mesh wall. There was a faint blue glow around the outside of the cage. The wizard looked up at Harry with large blue eyes that were magnified further by the very thick glasses he wore, his eyes widened.

"You're…you…but…Harry Potter!" he gaped at him.

Harry stood there being uncomfortably stared at. But Cho stepped forward.

"Um, Miles, this is…my old friend, Harry Potter. Harry, this is Dr. Miles Erlenmyer, top reseacher on Level Five."

"Please to meet you," Harry said with a smile. There was a small poof sound and Harry saw one mouse disappear then reappear on the other side of the wire wall.

The wizard struggled a little to shift the cage in his arms and extended one hand to eagerly shake Harry's.

"No, it's a pleasure to meet you! (poof!) Such an honor! Such an honor!" He handed the cage off to Cho, who struggled to juggle her paperwork and this new added weight, just so he could shake Harry's hand with both of his. "(Poof!) If there's anything I can do for you Mr. Potter, just ask it. You should come up and see me sometime. We have some things we're working on that you may find of interest."

Harry took his eyes away from the mice. "Really?" he asked with genuine curiosity.

The wizard noticed Harry watching the mice. "My apparating mice," he explained.

"Apparating?" Harry asked, surely he misheard.

"Yes," the wizard sighed wearily. "The little buggers got loose one day. Took me nearly a month to find all twelve. Hopefully they didn't breed." His brow wrinkled in thought.

"Doctor?" Cho said with a pleading voice, struggling to hold the cage.

"Oh sorry," he said absently as he took it back from her. "Have to keep anti-apparition wards on the cage at all times."

"I imagine so," Harry said as he watched the mice disappear then reappear.

"The offer is there Mr. Potter," the wizard said sincerely, "anything you need. Anything at all."