My Strongest Weakness, a loveless fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless or the song "My Strongest Weakness" by the wonderfully talented Wynonna Judd. Again, like all of my Loveless fics, this one is based only off of the anime since I have not yet read the manga. Admittedly, I'm not a very big fan of Seimei, but anyone can see from the anime how much Soubi cared about him, hence the storyline. Enjoy!

Agatsuma Soubi wasn't sure what to do or say as he stood over the newly placed grave of his Sacrifice Aoyagi Seimei. For years Seimei had been his entire world, his whole life. He was, in essence, Soubi's heart, and now that his heart was dead, how was he supposed to go on living? Despite his normally stoic exterior, he couldn't help but feel on the inside as though he wanted to die, too. Why not, after all? At least that way he would be with Seimei again.

As he stood there over the headstone, he prayed silently to whatever powers that be, "Please, just take me too. There's nothing left for me here. I know I made a promise to Seimei to take care of his little brother Ritsuka should anything happen, but I don't think I can let myself fall in love with another Aoyagi and just end up getting hurt again."

He waited patiently for a few minutes, and yet nothing happened. He took that as a sign to mean that he was supposed to stay here and watch after Ritsuka like he promised Seimei he would. Ever since the two of them had been put together to complete the team Beloved, he had never once disobeyed one of Seimei's orders, a point of personal pride to him but a serious downfall in the eyes of other Fighters and their Sacrifices.

They all saw their "teams" as literal teams in which both people have a say, when Soubi had always taken it to mean that one gave the orders and the other followed without question. There was never any kind of debate about how he would follow Seimei after they'd met. He'd fallen for him the moment he met him, which really only increased his willingness to be a servant to Seimei's master.

The keeper of the gates of wisdom
Please let me in
'Cause I just can't go through
Another heartache again
Pretty lies and alibis
How could I be so blind?
Now I'm all alone and scared to stay
Slowly going out of my mind

Having trained with Ritsu-sensei ever since he was a small child, Soubi was arguably the strongest Fighter in the history of the Seven Moons School. There were very few who could best him in a fight, and the ones that could usually didn't do so more than once. Hence, Soubi also didn't have a lot of weaknesses. In truth, most people in the school considered his one weakness that would someday be his downfall to be his readiness to comply with absolutely whatever his Sacrifice asked of him. What they didn't know was that he had another weakness, one that was far less obvious to the general public, for he knew that if his enemies at the school were to discover this weakness, they could defeat him with very little trouble on their parts.

Aoyagi Seimei, the kindest, most beautiful person he'd ever known, and what a weakness he was! Soubi had been unable to help giving him his entire heart and soul the moment he'd met him. He'd been so wonderful, such a precious possession that he knew that if the other teams at the school knew how much he cared about him, they'd destroy him as quickly as they possibly could to weaken Soubi both physically, mentally, and emotionally. Then it would have been no problem to take him on in a fight.

Now that Seimei really was gone, things had changed so dramatically. Soubi temporarily dropped out of the fighting scene so as not to arouse the suspicion of Seven Moons or any of their teams, least of all the newly programmed Zero, who he knew would be sent after him sooner or later. He knew that it was only a matter of time before he'd have to seek out Ritsuka and begin his training as his new Sacrifice, but until such time, he was content to remain in the dark and make himself psychologically stronger before trying to take on anymore teams.

During this brief period of inactivity and semi-isolation, Soubi had a lot of time to think things over and realize that it was really the best thing that whatever Higher Power it was that watched over him didn't take his life when he'd asked it (or him or her) to do so. Now he had the chance to live on and further Seimei's memory by giving some of it to his little brother and proving that even though Aoyagi Seimei was dead, Beloved lived on. Still, the thought lingered that that hole left inside him by Seimei's death would never be filled again, and the weakness would remain. That was, perhaps, the thought that scared Soubi the most.

He was my strongest weakness
I surrendered heart and soul
It's gonna be a long, long time
'Til I regain control
I'm still a prisoner
Held captive by his memory
He was my strongest weakness
And I'm afraid he'll always be

A few weeks after he'd first met Ritsuka and had gotten to know him a little bit better, Soubi was starting to find himself more and more attached to the child. He wasn't at all what he pictured when Seimei had told him about him, but instead was a very emotionally and psychologically mature child. He had to assume that that had something to do with the fact that at such a young age, he had had to deal with losing his memory, his older brother, his father, and his mother's sanity.

While Ritsuka could never even come close to taking Seimei's place in Soubi's heart, he was beginning to form a place all his own, an entirely new section of love dedicated solely to the cat-eared little boy who had been left to his charge. He had even lessened some of the pain that Soubi had still been feeling from Seimei's death. After all, he even looked just like his older brother. Once Ritsuka reached his older teen years, Soubi was certain that he would be almost an exact replica of Seimei.

Now Soubi stood in his living room, staring out the window and thinking about Seimei and how much he missed him. At that exact moment, his cell phone rang, and the number that appeared was Ritsuka's. He answered with a smile, "Mushi mushi, Ritsuka-kun."

"Don't be cute, Soubi!" he replied angrily. "Why haven't you been telling me about the fights you've been getting into? I'm supposed to be your Sacrifice and help you in battle, but how am I supposed to do that when you won't even tell me when you're entering into a battle?"

He laughed a little and said, "Forgive me, Ritsuka. I suppose I just don't want you to get hurt. If I don't let you go into battle with me, then you won't get hurt. It's simple logic."

"Well, it's stupid logic!" he continued to shout. "Next time, you have to tell me. You told me that you'd obey any order I gave you, so now I'm ordering you to tell me whenever you're in trouble or in a fight because I want to help. Got it?"

"Got it," Soubi replied, still smiling. "Goodnight, Ritsuka."

He heard the child give an exasperated sigh and say, "Goodnight, Soubi."

He hung up, still with a little smirk on his face, and realized that Ritsuka was also starting to have feelings for him. He was sure that if he Ritsuka didn't care for him at all, he wouldn't be half so offended that he wasn't being allowed to participate in fights. Maybe with a little more time, he would be able to fall in love again, after all.

I gave my faithful heart to someone
I couldn't understand
How he held my little world
In the palm of his hand
Now he's gone and life goes on
So if this pain will ever end
Will I be afraid to risk it all
And ever fall in love again?

Soubi had finally agreed to let Ritsuka help him in a battle as his true Sacrifice, and now he regretted it more than anything in the world. He was sitting in his apartment, watching over the now unconscious Ritsuka, who was lying on the couch with his wounds covered in makeshift bandages that Soubi had found in his bathroom. He cursed himself over and over in his head for letting this happen. He knew that Ritsuka wasn't yet as strong as the other team, and yet he had still let him act as his Sacrifice.

He must have sat there for hours, just watching and waiting for Ritsuka to wake up, when he heard someone call from downstairs, "Agatsuma Soubi!" Walking out onto the front porch, he saw that it was the female Zero team. "How dare you run out on our fight after a simple collapse! That new Sacrifice of yours isn't worth half of what Aoyagi Seimei was! Next time we'll take him down twice as fast since he's obviously so precious to you. Then we'll take the victory that so rightly belongs to Seven Moons!"

With a calm expression, he steadied his breathing and said gently, "You will not come near Aoyagi Ritsuka until he's become stronger, and I assure you that after that has happened, we will be able to kill you with the greatest of ease. I bid you goodnight, Zero."

He then walked back inside with a sigh of regret. He leaned against the porch door, realizing that they had figured out his weakness, his new weakness. He could no longer deny the fact that he had, indeed, fallen in love with Ritsuka. He knew now that he meant every bit of those words when he told the child that he loved him.

Gods, he couldn't let anything happen to Ritsuka. Even though Seimei was still a weakness he held in his heart, his younger brother was now of much more concern since he was the one still living. To be able to protect Ritsuka, he would have to do as he had done with Seimei and give his heart and soul to him completely. Then and only then would he be able to protect him with every bit of his being. Whether he liked it or not, Aoyagi Ritsuka had become his new strongest weakness.