Chapter 7
Beach Party
For those who suggested writing a love scene, I shall have to decline. I am horrible at them and, well, I just don't see Voldemort making love to anyone, not even Lucius. However, if anyone wishes to write it, I shall gladly publish it and give you full credit. Tootles!
It was a bright, sunny day and Voldemort had invited a few of his closest friends, Severus and Lucius, to go to the beach with him. He smothered on some SPF 300 and lay down on a towel on the beach, near the water's edge.
Severus and Lucius had something other than relaxation in mind for the Dark Lord, however. They had brought little plastic shovels and pails for the occasion and now waited patiently for the Dark Lord to fall fast asleep.
Minutes passed, and along with the rushing of the waves, Severus and Lucius heard a gentle snoring coming from Voldemort's direction. They approached the Dark Lord cautiously so as not to wake him and began silently to pour sand over his white body. After they'd finished they went out for ice-cream.
An hour later:
Voldemort woke with a yawn. "How long have I slept? It's nearly sunset. And where are Severus and Lucius? And WHY can I not move my body?! My head has been severed! Wait, no it hasn't, I can still feel my body. I've been buried up to my neck. Damn Severus and Lu.... Get away from here, vile seagulls! I don't have any bread for you. Ick! Stop pecking my nose! Alright, peck my nose just stop pecking my eyes!!! Mother of Pearl!"
By this time seagulls had surrounded the Dark Lord's head which was protruding from the sand. They picked his eyes out of their sockets and, satisfied, flew away. The Dark Lord was in agony.
"Dumbledore was right, there are things worse than death," he moaned.
Just then he felt something wet on his chin. Then it went away. In a few seconds it came back. The tide was coming up. Voldemort screamed for help, but no one came. However, while he was screaming a crab latched onto his tongue and he yelped in pain. The tide was up past his lips now, his eye sockets were bleeding, and the crab latched on even harder. Then, the Dark Lord remembered that he could do magic, seeing as he is a wizard. However, it was too late. Voldemort passed out from the pain and later drowned in the oncoming tide.
"Hey, look Severus," said Lucius as they approached the Dark Lord after going out for ice-cream. "The Dark Lord caught a crab.
And so Severus and Lucius detatched the crab and enjoyed sumptuous crab legs for dinner.
Beach Party
For those who suggested writing a love scene, I shall have to decline. I am horrible at them and, well, I just don't see Voldemort making love to anyone, not even Lucius. However, if anyone wishes to write it, I shall gladly publish it and give you full credit. Tootles!
It was a bright, sunny day and Voldemort had invited a few of his closest friends, Severus and Lucius, to go to the beach with him. He smothered on some SPF 300 and lay down on a towel on the beach, near the water's edge.
Severus and Lucius had something other than relaxation in mind for the Dark Lord, however. They had brought little plastic shovels and pails for the occasion and now waited patiently for the Dark Lord to fall fast asleep.
Minutes passed, and along with the rushing of the waves, Severus and Lucius heard a gentle snoring coming from Voldemort's direction. They approached the Dark Lord cautiously so as not to wake him and began silently to pour sand over his white body. After they'd finished they went out for ice-cream.
An hour later:
Voldemort woke with a yawn. "How long have I slept? It's nearly sunset. And where are Severus and Lucius? And WHY can I not move my body?! My head has been severed! Wait, no it hasn't, I can still feel my body. I've been buried up to my neck. Damn Severus and Lu.... Get away from here, vile seagulls! I don't have any bread for you. Ick! Stop pecking my nose! Alright, peck my nose just stop pecking my eyes!!! Mother of Pearl!"
By this time seagulls had surrounded the Dark Lord's head which was protruding from the sand. They picked his eyes out of their sockets and, satisfied, flew away. The Dark Lord was in agony.
"Dumbledore was right, there are things worse than death," he moaned.
Just then he felt something wet on his chin. Then it went away. In a few seconds it came back. The tide was coming up. Voldemort screamed for help, but no one came. However, while he was screaming a crab latched onto his tongue and he yelped in pain. The tide was up past his lips now, his eye sockets were bleeding, and the crab latched on even harder. Then, the Dark Lord remembered that he could do magic, seeing as he is a wizard. However, it was too late. Voldemort passed out from the pain and later drowned in the oncoming tide.
"Hey, look Severus," said Lucius as they approached the Dark Lord after going out for ice-cream. "The Dark Lord caught a crab.
And so Severus and Lucius detatched the crab and enjoyed sumptuous crab legs for dinner.