The New Schikk Siete

It was late at night and our Dark Lord was preparing for bed. He was about to moisturize his scalp, but when he ran his hand over it, he felt some very distinct stubble rising from his usually very smooth membrane.

"I need a razor..." the Dark Lord thought and he yelled for Lucius who was standing outside of the bathroom waiting to pee.

"Yes, master?" Lucius replied.

"Can I borrow your razor? I know I usually don't have hair, but I feel some stubble returning to my once barren skull, and it itches something dreadful."

"Of, course, My Lord," Lucius replied entering the bathroom. "Can I just pee first--"

"NO!" the Dark Lord hissed and Lucius scurried over to the medicine cabinet, and opening it up got out a brand new razor.

"This is the new Schikk Siete," Lucius stated. "It's got seven blades, so if the first six don't get the hair, the seventh one will."

"I'll be scalped!" the Dark Lord yelped whilst he gazed at the gargantuan razor in Lucius' hand.

"Well, it's the only razor I've got," Lucius replied as he put a can of shaving cream on the sink and left the Dark Lord to do the deed.

A few cuts and many razor burns later, the Dark Lord's head was freshly shaved and clearly mangled. To get that fresh and clean feeling, the Dark Lord searched through the medicine cabinet for some after shave, and finding a small bottle, began to apply it liberally to his cranium.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" the Dark Lord yelled clapping his hands to his face. "It burns! It burns!"

"Are you doing your impression of Harry Potter again, Dark Lord?" Severus snickered from outside the door.

The Dark Lord in a fury of anger, flung open the door revealing his scratched up head. Severus and Lucius paused for a moment and burst into laughter at the Dark Lord's expense.

"It looks like you took your head to a cheese grater!" Severus wailed and Lucius high-fived him.

But, their laughter quickly died down as they noticed the Dark Lord's head quickly swelling up and turning purple. The Dark Lord's lips began to swell as well and turn blue.

"I am in tremendous pain," he slurred. "The aftershave is burning more than usual."

"Aftershave?" Severus said with worry.

Voldemort held up the bottle and Severus turned pale.

"Um, sir. That's not aftershave. That's snake venom. It was supposed to be an April Fools joke for Lucius. I guess I kind of forgot about it."

"HAHA! APRIL FOOLS!" Lucius shouted.

"It's July," the Dark Lord said through his puffy lips before falling to a heap of dead on the floor.

"You totally pwned him, Severus!"

"Shut up, Lucius."

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Ok, people. What is up? Review! Or I'll maim your bald little heads!