Again thanx sooooooo much for the reviews. I'm so excited, every time I get a new one:-)
JavaJunkie22: Thanx very much for your review. Yes Hank is indeed a jerk :). Here the update.
gilmoregirllover47:Also thank you to you! Means very much!
Tears4Chris: Her the new chapter! Thanx for the interest.
lorelai gilmore girls1: Here is another sad chapter. Sorry. It will take some time until it really gets happy. Thank for your rewiev:)
BlueJPlover: Thank you soo much. Here is more :)! And yeah, Luke is the best!
cenas-lil-hottie: Thank you soo much for your kind review. Reviews really make my day!
GoddessAnjanee: Wow, thanx for reviewing every chapter and your opinion on the story. And by the way Fracine and Strobe are Christopher's parents not Lorelai's :-). No problem though!
Well this chapter is more like a filler. But I'm really trying to grasp the true feelings and emotions of the different persons who are involved. Next chapter will be the long awaited reunion! Promise. Hope you like it though!
Chapter 5:
The drive to Litchfield County was accompanied by total silence. Not one word was spoken. One could nearly feel the tension that had built up in the green truck during the 30 minute ride from Stars Hollow.
As soon as the first shock had subsided Lorelai placed herself in utter silence on the passenger seat besides Luke and stared out of the window, into the far distance. Thousands of emotions and thoughts rotated through her head, that made it impossible to catch a single clear thought. She didn't want to deal with ifs, hows, whens and whys right now. Alls she wanted to do was to find out if the nurse said the truth. The truth that her baby was alive. That she had been alive all those sixteen years, while she lived in the believe of having lost her child, her little girl.
She couldn't even describe how she felt at the moment. Never before had she experienced such a mixture of emotions all at the same time. Not even tears of solace was she able to cry any more, because as soon as the first tears of realisation had subsided, she hadn't been able to make a clear distinction of what she was really feeling any more. Shock, hope, anxiety, anger, love and hate had all mixed up inside of her, leaving her like a complete emotional wreck.
The shock of the phone call that hit her like a punch in the stomach and made her whole body numb.
The hope that filled her like a flame stabbing through the darkness, and which left a sense of completion in her.
The anxiety that her hope was at the same time nothing more but a cruel illusion and as soon asshe would wake up from the gentle feeling of hope, she would find out that everything was nothing more but a dream.
The anger over the unawareness that her baby was in fact alive all these years, made her want to scream out loud.
The love and complete devotion only a mother could feel towards her child.
And finally the hate towards the people, who were responsible for this whole mess, for the chaos in her head.
Lorelai felt as if she would explode any minute from all these overwhelming feelings.
But while she battled her inner demons, Rory fought with her own fears and anxieties.
"She had a twin" she thought as the reality of the situation finally came crushing down on her.
"A twin sister!" The voice in her head practically screamed by now.
"There was someone out there who probably looked exactly like her. Who had her blue eyes, who had the same colour of hair, who had her facial features. Could she really live with the fact that there was a second Rory out there?" she thought, panic rising inside of her.
Rory's head was spinning from all the different possibilities. All her life long she lived in a world where her sister was dead, where she was an only child. It has always been only the two of them. Mom and herself. The Gilmore Girls. And now there was somebody out there, who was part of them, who belonged to them, who was bound to them. Bound to them like the snow was bound to winter, like Sigfried was bound to Roy, like coffee was bound to Lorelai Gilmore.
"Would it change things between her and her mom? Would this be the end of an era? The end of the Gilmore Girls era?" Rory wondered, while she wanted to kick herself at the same time for being such a egoist.
She should be happy about the fact that her twin sister was alive. Yes, to have a sister was amazing, but to have a twin sister was even more special. She had spent nine months of her life with another human being, on the closest possible space. They had shared food, warmth, and space for nine long months. They built a special connection during this close time together. She was indeed sure about the fact that they shared some kind of special bond, because sometimes it felt as if a part of her was missing. As if she could only reach completion by finding this second half of her.
She had been looking for this so called second part her whole life long. In Dean she finally found someone, whom she could share her love with, but still it didn't feel as if she had found this missing piece. No, this had nothing to do with the love a man and a woman shared and felt for each other. And though she really loved Dean, she knew that she wouldn't find completion in him. And for the first time she understood. It was in fact Avery, whom she felt connected to so often when she was alone.
"Yes having a sister was indeed something special." She decided for herself, as she took a close look at her mom for the very first time since they had left Stars Hollow.
"She really doesn't look good" Rory thought worriedly. And as she studied the expression of her mom more closely, it occurred to her for the very first time, what her mom must have gone through all those years. Rory imagined what if would feel like if her mom was taken from her in this very second. Honestly, she didn't even want to imagine what it would feel like. But she had to. She wanted to understand what was going on inside her mom. And only the simple power of imagining a life without the crazy Lorelai Gilmore, left an empty whole inside of her. She would truly loose a part of herself. She would loose her best friend, her guidepost, her role model. And now she understood what it was what her mother felt every time they would visit Avery's grave. But of course she couldn't fully understand the situation of loosing a child. She couldn't grasp the meaning of the pure and unconditional love a mother felt towards her kid. But maybe she would understand it one day, when she had children of her own. But for now she could only imagine what it felt like and it left her absolutely devastated.
While the Gilmore Girls were deep in thoughts about the meaning of life and death, Luke was deeply buried in his own strain of thoughts.
He was absolutely worried about his Gilmore Girls. They may not know it, but Lorelai and Rory meant the world to him. All those years Rory had been like a daughter for him and all those years he wished that Lorelai would for once see more than a simple friend in him.
He had always been there, all those years. He taught Rory how to ride a bike, he brought her mashed potatoes when she was sick, he helped Lorelai out when she had broken her leg. How could he open her eyes so that she would finally would look at him and see so much more than a friend.
"But all this doesn't matter right now" Luke thought as he was clinging tightly to the steering wheel, sweat dripping slowly from his forehead. The temperatures in the truck became from minute to minute more unbearable. Although it was already the end of August and the temperatures weren't that high any more, Luke guessed that the heat in the truck was more a combination of the incredible tension mixed with August's warmth.
His gaze drifted over to Lorelai for a second and for once he didn't see the strong independent woman, but the sixteen year old girl, who was afraid and unsure of herself. Afraid of how to make a life for her and her baby, afraid of what the future would bring.
He really asked himself what this Avery was like. Did she have Lorelai's amazing blue eyes, did she have her coffee addiction, or her craziness? It was really weird to imagine Lorelai with two kids. Or my, maybe she looked exactly like Rory. He always saw Rory as an individual, as one of a kind, simply unique. He couldn't imagine that there was someone out there, who was really like her. On the other hand there couldn't be enough kids like Rory, and he was absolutely anxious to meet this Avery.
All those thoughts accompanied the drive from Stars Hollow to Litchfield. Live changing things were soon going to occur in the lives of our favourite girls and things may never be the same as they were before.
Please review! Pretty please :)!