Author's note: Inspired by a Monty Python sketch and my good reviewer, BloodxFeud. Without you, BloodxFeud, this ficlet would not have been possible!
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The Funniest Joke in the World
"Dark Lord!" Severus ran into Death Eater Headquarters, clearly in a hurry for he had something urgent that needed the Dark Lord's immediate attention.
"What is it, Severus?" the Dark Lord asked, agitated. "You know it's time for my massage!" he hissed.
"I know, Master," Severus said apologetically. "But, I felt that this could not wait."
Voldemort sat up, intrigued and motioned for Severus to continue.
"I think I may have found the ultimate weapon. It is both effective and highly unsuspected," Severus continued. "I have found... here in my hand," Severus revealed a piece of parchment. "The funniest joke in the world."
The Dark Lord was not impressed.
"Severus, have you been drinking Butterbeer again? You know you can't hold your alcohol," Voldemort shook his head in disappointment.
"No!" Severus exclaimed. "Master, I don't think you understand. As soon as you hear or read the funniest joke in the world, you laugh yourself to death."
"You jest!" the Dark Lord exclaimed.
"I jest not, My Lord," Severus continued. "Allow me to show you an example... Wormtail!" he summoned Peter into the room.
Peter arrived looking... well dirty and ratty like always.
Severus handed Peter the parchment and ordered him to read. Peter obeyed surveying the contents of the parchment with indifference until a smirk started to spread across his face. He cheeks started to glow red and the smirk grew into a chuckle. His chuckle subsided and he looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully and then burst out into full laughter, falling to the floor and losing his breath. He began coughing and wheezing uncontrollably, whilst laughing at the same time. However, a few moments later, the coughing and wheezing died down and Severus bent down to check his pulse.
"See?" Severus implied.
"Ah," said Voldemort looking thoughtful. "That is very good Severus. You will be rewarded handsomely for your find. Please leave me now. I wish to mull it over."
"Yes, My Lord," Severus bowed out of the room leaving Voldemort, dead Peter and the funniest piece of parchment in the world.
He walked over to where Peter lay crumpled on the floor and picked up the parchment, being careful not to look at it.
"Hmmm," mused Voldemort, "It can't effect me in that way. I've forgotten how to laugh long ago..."
Voldemort was fighting temptation very strongly, but it seemed that temptation won out. You see, the Dark Lord could not accept that a mere joke could hold the same power as he, and so he flipped over the parchment and read the joke.
"I don't get it..."
He read it over again.
There was a soft "Heh" and he fell over with a loud "thump" dead.
Severus, hearing the "thump" entered the room and found the Dark Lord lying on the floor.
"Oh, great!" he exclaimed. "Now I don't get a reward!" And he stormed out of the room.
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Ok, so he didn't quite laugh himself to death more than he "heh-ed" himself to death. Anyways, R/R! And please check out my other fics. Undercover Snape is in need of lovely reviews! Thanks!