Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, or any nursery rhymes.
The Mother Goose Escapades
No. 36
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth without any bread;
She whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.
Kaede rubbed her temples, sighing deeply. She was exhausted today – seemed no matter how much she liked to deny it, she was getting on in years. Her body protested every movement and she yearned to lay down and sleep.
But first, some dinner. The soup she was cooking smelled delicious, and she stirred the simmering broth, her mouth watering in anticipation. First, a bowl of the soup, outside, watching the stars come out. Then, retiring to bed, for a deep restful sleep in order to be prepared for tomorrow. The elderly miko smiled a bit, ready to relax. Alas –
"Helloooo, Kaede!"
"Feh, don't sound so chipper, Shippou."
"Now, now, Inuyasha, be nice!"
"I am so ready to stop and taste some of her delicious stew!"
"Me too, darling Sango, and she always provides a shelter without evil spirits."
"Oy, monk, there's never any spirits."
"I agree with Inuyasha and," SMACK! "Pervert! Keep your hands off me!"
"Miroku never learns, does he Kagome?"
"Nope, never."
"Oh no..." groaned Kaede. If this little crew was coming back tonight, that meant her evening was shot. She cast a venomous look towards her doorway, but suddenly –
"Well, we're here."
"Mmm, smells good!"
"Sure does, I hope there's enough!"
"Oh, there's always enough, don't worry."
"If there isn't, I'll share with you."
"Well, that's very kind but really," SMACK! "How many times must I say it? Hands to yourself!"
"Hahaha, hope that one didn't hurt too badly."
"Um, wait..." Kaede trailed off, watching her soup being passed around, and finally ending up with a very small bowl, with a very small amount. Inuyasha, who had been passing it around, had the most, and gave Kagome the second most. Sango and Miroku looked even, but Shippou had more than she did! The group settled down and dug in.
"Oh, Kaede, you'll never guess what happened this time."
"Yeah, Inuyasha almost met his match!"
"What? No way, take that back, there was never any problem!"
"Well, I don't know about that, it seemed to me –"
"Don't even say it, Miroku."
"Alright, don't you hit me too Inuyasha."
"Anyway, so there was this demon –"
"Don't forget to tell her about the poison water, Kagome!"
"Or the cave that is always lit up."
"And we mustn't forget the strange little tree!"
"Right, and so after that Naraku showed up –"
"And he had this other big demon –"
"And then Tetsusaiga –"
"Thousands of pieces –"
"Almost died –"
"Kagome shot an arrow –"
"The whole thing exploded –"
"We were shielded –"
"Saved us with Tetsusaiga –"
"And –"
"What?" Kaede whispered, watching as every last morsel was swallowed up. The group showed no signs of stopping, or even leaving soon. All she wanted was a nice peaceful evening, some soup and some sleep. There was no soup, but maybe...
"So then –"
"Quiet!" Kaede bellowed. The chattering stopped and five pairs of shocked eyes turned to look towards the elderly miko, standing up and looking rather perturbed.
"Kaede?" Kagome's voice was only a whisper.
"Hush! Now, I am exhausted, and I am going to sleep! If you all must talk, you will go outside. In fact, go outside now, until you can be quiet! If I hear so much as a peep out of any of you before tomorrow morning, you will wish you never crossed the sister of the great miko Kikyou!"
---
Kaede was sleeping soundly, but the traveling party still sat outside, around a campfire, like they were used to being. Not a one spoke a word, and each glared at the fire every time it crackled. There was no way any of them were going to move until morning.
Author's Notes: Yay, another humorous one. Now, let me apologize profusely! Since Wednesday, when I tried to upload No. 35, I haven't been able to upload anything, so please don't hate me! I have been trying continuously since then, and finally, I have been able to bring both to you! So, I apologize, and hope you enjoyed both of them. Hopefully, things will work on Monday!