Thank you to all the reviewers. I'm flattered!
Synch14: Thank you as always Synch. And yes, she soon will get revenge. I just have to think about a propper punishment!
roywthpoddles: Wow, I feel so flattered by your last review. :-). And thanks for liking it so much. Keep reading! Thank you!
Marcel-Marceau-chicken: Thanks for reviewing. Here is the next chapter. Copper Boom ;-)
lukeandlorealilove: Thanks so much. Your review meant a lot. I put a lot of hard work in that Luke/Taylor scene. So I'm glag you like it. Keep reading!
lorelai gilmore danes1: Thank you very much for the review. In this chapter, she will talk even more. Enjoy!
Ali-Chan1: Yep, here comes the promised Friday night dinner. Keep reading. And thank you!
AthleticCharmedOne: Here the update! And thanks once again for the review. It means very much! Enjoy
kasluvsg1: Thanks so much for your kind words. I'm really glad you liked the previous chapter, I put a lot of work in it. And yes, maybe I will let her cook something later on :-). Thanks again.
Tonje: Thanks again for your review! Here comes the friday night dinner. have fun!
caitymonkey123: Wow, I'm totally flattered! Thank you so much!
francisj: Yeah, so much love :-). Thanks for reviewing!
cho: Thanks for reviewing. Sorry, for the cliffhanger. :-)
LukelovesLorelai: Hey, thank you for your nice review. And thanks for telling me the thing with the city town thing. I mixed it up, it's because English is not my native tongue. Sorry for that. :-)
Chapter 11:
"Are the Grandparents really so frightening?" I asked Rory, with an extra pronunciation on the "so", as we stood in her room, and she got herself ready for Friday night dinner.
"What?" she asked, as she struggled, getting her head through a baby blue v-neck shirt, that accented her pretty eyes.
"The Grandparents. Are they really as bad as mo…Lorelai said?" I asked, mumbling the last part however, attempting to swallow down the nearly used word, which luckily came out as a simple syllable.
I still couldn't bring myself to call my mother "Mom". In fact, nobody had I ever called Mom or dad. Even my adoptive parents had I addressed with their first names. It just wasn't natural or appropriate to call them Mom or dad, because for me they have never been a parent replacement but more like two good friends or and aunt or uncle. At least I felt that way at the beginning of my adoption, when things had still been nice and pretty. Over the years, however, my feelings had changed, and no more longer saw I Hank as a friend or an uncle but he became an object of fear, hate and desperation.
I had never really felt the need or urge to call anyone Mom or dad. I lived in the believe that my real parents were dead and as hard as the reality of this situation was for me, I got used to the thought of never calling anyone Mommy or daddy. That's how things had been for 16 long years.
But suddenly everything changed with a huge "bangboombang" and I found myself in a situation where my Mom was alive and past habits overthrew itself. Once again I was faced with the possibility of calling someone Mom. This time however it was justified and real.
I felt trapped. Trapped between two sides. One side that stood for the overwhelming trust, safety and love I was met with, as soon as these two crazy, lovable girls bounced into my life. The other side however, accompanied me my whole life long and was by far superior. This side was like an insisting, chasing shadow that would not lose its grasp around me. It was an indicator of my past life, that was marked by oppression and abuse.
Yes, these two sides overshadowed my constant happiness and nearly seemed to crash me. Me, the one who was standing in the middle of this two sites. Once again the question that wouldn't leave me alone over the past few days forced itself its way back into my head.
Should I call Lorelai, Mom or not?
For any other person this must have seemed like an unworthy subject to even worry about. This is your mother, so you call her mother.
But for me this was anything but easy. I haven't known my Mom for 16 long years. 16 years, in which I slowly got used to the thought of being an orphan. Could I ignore 16 years of my life and bring myself to call someone Mom, whom I had known for about a week? Someone who should have accompanied me my whole life long but who hadn't?
Trust was something that couldn't grow from one day to the other. Trust came with time. Could I trust her enough to take the final step and call her by the name, she naturally inherited by birth?
My head was spinning wildly as I considered these facts and shook my head lightly to return into reality.
"No, Grandma and Grandpa are really not so bad" Rory answered my question, after my little trip into "Avery world".
"But… so many things have happened between the three of them. Things about, which they never have talked or which they attempted to solve. Mom's flight, for example, will always be an issue between them. And I don't see how they will ever resolve those issues, as happy as I would be about it" she explained, as she tied up her hair in a pigtail.
I nodded understandingly, remembering the conversation my Mom and I had a few days ago, where she told me about her past.
"I have to admit, though, that Grandma can be quite strenuous sometimes. She is a perfectionist, you must know. The candles have to have an exact height of five inches, the porcelain has to be polished until you see you face in it and believe me when I say, you won't find the smallest dust particle in this house. Oh….and…she must have had about hundred different maids over the years. Every Friday, there is a new maid opening the door. If one stays for more than a week, than you can bet that she is really good.
As Rory went on with her description of our Grandma, my eyebrows wandered higher and higher. I could already guess that the word strenuous as Rory had put it wouldn't comply with the personality of Emily Gilmore.
"You look nice" my sister interrupted the silence of the Moment, as she turned over to me.
I wore a white, knee-length skirt, with small blue flowers on it, a matching blue halter-neck top and black knee-high boots. This outfit had resulted from the marathon like shopping tour we made two days ago. It was a perfect day, however and again everything was so totally new for me. That, going shopping with your Mom and sister, could be so much fun, was an incredible new experience. As lazy as they normally seemed, as soon as we entered the mall, they turned into two different people. They rushed from one shop to the other, and I had a hard time following them.
"Thanks" I said a little embarrassed, as my gaze wandered down on the floor. "You look nice yourself" I mumbled shyly.
"Wait a sec" Rory suddenly said, as she went over to her commode. "Come over" she instructed me, and I did as I was told. She held a necklace and two matching ear rings in her hand.
"Okay, now its perfect" she said, after she had added the final touches.
I mustered myself in the mirror and honestly I was shocked what I saw in there. I had to look a second time to be completely sure that it was in deed me, who I was looking at. I had never really cared about this whole girly stuff, including make up, jewellery, clothes, the right hairstyle etc. But as I watched myself in this mirror, I had to smile a little. For the first time I didn't look at a reflection of a pale, desperate, tear-stained face. No, I saw a young woman, with intense blue eyes, dark curly hair that hang loosely over her shoulders, light rosé coloured cheeks, and a small smile grazing her lips. The playful white-blue colour of her clothes accented her eyes even more and the ear rings and the necklace gave her face its last touch.
The girl she was looking at, was about an inch smaller than her sister and as these two girls stood shoulder on shoulder beside each other, one could clearly see the astonishing resemblance for the very first time.
I closed my eyes for a second to let the realisation sunk in, that it was in deed me, who I was looking at in this mirror.
"Wow" Rory gasped, as she probably also spotted the resemblance in our appearances.
"Yeah, wow" I said in answer, as I suddenly felt Rory taking my hand in hers. And as our eyes met in the mirror, we both had to smile because I was sure that she felt it too. The incredible warmth that was filling me as we stood there hand in hand, and our gazes locked. I clearly felt that something eternally was connecting us and believe me I wouldn't have been surprised when the room would have suddenly lit up and the sound of angel choirs, bells and harps could have been heard. This Moment was really magical and something had happened inside of me, in that Moment. My safety wall, which had bewared me from disappointment and pain, literally broke down in front of my eyes. And it felt like a huge liberation, as if a load of bottled up emotions, was falling off my chest. It felt good. It felt right. I felt free.
"Girls you ready for dinner in hell?" our Mom's voice interrupted the magical Moment.
Rory gave me a last quick smile and squeezed my hand before we left the room together.
"I can already hear my mother talking: Lorelai, I would think I taught you better manners than this. Introducing us to our granddaughter, a whole week after you found out about her. Bla bla blabla" my Mom imitated her mother in a high-pitched, snobbish sounding voice as we wandered into the living room.
"Wow…you both…you look beautiful" she finally gasped, after a long pause, with wide eyes and open mouth.
"Ella…you…oh wow…" she stuttered for the very first time, since I had met her and I believe that this was a very rare occasion.
"You look stunning…. Like an Ella Bella." She said that last part with an exaggerated Italian accent. I had to smile at this gesture.
"You are so doomed" my Mom suddenly said from one Moment to the other. "As soon as my mother has laid eyes on you in that outfit, you are sooooo going to be a debutant" she seriously said, patting my shoulder pityingly.
"Mom, don't scare her like that" Rory said smirking. "Don't listen to her, Ella"
"Hey, such a coming out has many advantages." She said defendingly. "You are going to be a real lady of society and you…."
"Come on, we go." Rory finally said, taking my hand and leading me out, while switching off the light behind her. However, one could still hear my mother standing in the darkness of the living room, babbling without interruption.
"…boys know that you are on the market now, you can wear a puffy white dress…oh…oh…and when you spin around, it's a delight for everyone…oh…and…and…"
After a 30 minute ride, in which my mother constantly talked about sewing me a debutant dress, how I would end up marrying the guy, who would ask for the first dance and finally ended the conversation, what a great dowry the ape lamp in the living room would make, we arrived in Hartford.
"We have been standing here for about ten minutes" Rory said unnerved the hundredth time, as we were waiting in front of a huge oak door of an even huger mansion.
"I'm not ready yet" my mother answered once again.
"And when are you ready?" she asked, while tapping her fingers on the façade of the house.
"When Emily Gilmore opens that door in a miniskirt and a tank top, which says "I'm a DAR chick" on it" she said, as suddenly the door opened abruptly.
"Oh…hey…Mom. We were just talking about you." She stammered, obviously shocked by the sudden appearance.
"Lorelai, how long have you been standing out here" Emily asked her as she shot her a punishing glance.
"We were just getting here…a couple of seconds ago. Right girls?" she said, while shooting us a persuading look, eyebrows raised.
"Yes. We just got here" Rory supported our mother's little lie.
Then, Emily's eyes fell on me, as I stood beside Rory, and tried to appear completely inconspicuously. I felt a little bit uncomfortable as her steel grey eyes were fixed on me, mustering me from had to toe and back from toe to head.
"Well….ahm…as you probably have already guessed, that's Ella" my Mom said nervously, as she gritted her nails into the coffee mug, she had got herself from Luke's before we came here.
"Ella?" my Grandmother asked, while her expression stayed completely blank, unable to read any form of emotion from it.
"Ah, yeah…her nickname. I thought we keep up the tradition, right?" Mom nervously laughed.
The tension of the Moment got more and more unbearable, so I finally decided to step in and loosen up the awkwardness of the situation.
"Hello. Very nice to meet you" I said as I stretched out my hand to shake hers.
What came next however, I clearly hadn't seen coming or a expected in a million years. My Grandma made a step towards me and embraced me in a tight, welcoming hug. As I stood there with my Grandmother's arm around me, I turned my face slightly left to be faced with the shocked expressions of my Mom and sister. Both of them stood there, mouth wide open, not believing what they witnessed right now.
"Welcome home Avery" she finally said, as she opened the embrace again, and chased us into the foyer.
"Ringoberta, the coats please" Emily ordered a woman, who was obviously the new maid and once again the strict voice had returned.
"Ringoberta?" my Mom chuckled slightly at the sound of the name, while at the same time Emily shot her the second punishing look of the evening, which made her laughter subside immediately.
"She is from Chile. Hardly understands a word I'm saying. I don't think I'm keeping her for long" the elderly woman said completely serious as if talking about some kind of animal.
"Make yourselves comfortable in the living room. I go and get Richard" she then said before wandering off in one of the seemingly uncountable rooms of the mansion.
"What…was….that" my Mom shockingly asked, as soon as Emily had disappeared. "Was that my mother? Because if she wasn't, she had one hell of a good surgeon"
"I think it was really her" Rory mused. "She was obviously happy to se you" she said to me, giving me a small smile.
"I still can't believe that it was her. Maybe there was an alien invasion and…"
"Mom! She will be back any Moment" Rory harshly whispered, as she glanced nervously into the direction her Grandmother had disappeared.
"I don't trust this peacefulness. At some point, I bet, she will dig out the old accusations. How I haven't told her that I was pregnant with twins. How she had to find out in the hospital about the both of you. Bla bla bla….Back then, she couldn't quite make me responsible for it, because I was too devastated about….you know what. She had to suppress her urge of blaming the whole situation on me. But now…finally…after years of suppressed anger….she can finally let it out on me." she ended her little speech.
"Come on Mom, I don't believe that she would ever blame the situation on you." Rory said, shaking her head in disbelieve.
"Oh, you don't know what my mother is able to" she sighed heavily, as Emily walked back into the living room, closely followed by her husband.
"Well, I guess it's time for introductions. Dad….meet your granddaughter Avery Elizabeth…short form Ella. Ella this is your Grandpa." She gestured her hand from me to her father.
I smiled shyly as I took in the tall figure of my grandfather in front of me.
"She is tall. Lorelai, isn't she tall?" he wondered, as he closely took in my appearance.
"Well…you thought she would still wear diapers and a dummy?" Mom said sarcastically.
"Lorelai, your jokes are not really appropriate right now." He strictly said, while giving Rory a small hug.
"Hello Rory"
"Hey Grandpa"
"So, young lady, welcome to the family" my Grandpa finally said, as he stepped in front of me and wrapped his arms around my in comparison small figure.
"Thank you" I quietly said, wondering why my Mom talked so badly about her parents. They seemed really nice, so far. A little bit stiff maybe, but apart from that they were really welcoming.
"Dinner is served" the maid interrupted our little meeting.
"Thank you Ringoberta" my Grandma answered, as we made our way into the dining room. I really was amazed by the enormity and size of the house. And Rory was right about the part that the house almost seemed like a museum. The reflection of the porcelain was nearly blinding, the candles really had an exact height of five inches, every vase had its rightful place and didn't seem to have been touched in a whole decade and there was in deed no trace of the smallest dust particle. Museum, was in deed the right word that described this house.
"So Lorelai, how are things at that charming Inn of yours" my grandma started the conversation of the evening.
"Good." She answered quickly, while poking her fork into the avocadoes.
"And Avery…how do you like Stars Hollow so far" she started a new attempt.
"It's nice. Very funny people" I answered, while swallowing down the caviar.
"I see." She said.
"Avery, do you have ever heard of a debutant ball." She suddenly said after a small pause.
"Oh boy, here we go." Mom groaned loudly, rolling her eyes.
"Lorelai Gilmore, would you stop that rude behaviour of yours." Emily said, while shooting Mom one of her looks. Slowly but surely I understood what Rory had meant with the word strenuous.
"First you introduce us to our granddaughter a whole week after you found out about her and all kind of different people have met her before we actually have. And then you cannot hide your rude attitude for once." She said furiously.
"Sorry Mom" she said, while shooting us a look that said "Haven't I told you". "It would have been too much for her. I just wanted her to get settled down, get acclimated and used to her new life." She said apologetically.
Obviously she seemed to swallow that excuse, because she concentrated once again on the lobster on her plate. "But this discussion is not over yet." She quickly added.
"So Avery." My Grandpa started at another point during our extravagant dinner. "Do you like school?"
"School?" I asked a little surprised by the question. "Ahm…yes I do"
"Good. Good. Because a good education is the main pillar of a successful career." He explained seriously. "Nothing is more important for a young person than the quality of his education."
I nodded my head "yes" in agreement, although I didn't quite know where he was heading with this his little lecture.
"Rory wants to go to Harvard one day." He went on.
"Yes, I know." I answered politely.
"Only with hard work and persistence, you will be accepted at an Ivy League College" he said, while I still kept nodding my head.
"But not only hard studying will get you there but attending a good school like Chilton, will help you to achieve your goals. Rory is at Chilton."
"I know" I said once again, as I looked confused at Rory and Mom.
"So, are you a good student? Rory is a brilliant student she is part of the best 3 of her class." He continued his questions.
"Dad! I don't think that this is really important right now" my Mom finally interrupted his question game, as she dropped her fork loudly.
"What can be more important, Lorelai!" he countered.
"What grades did you have in your old school?" he asked again.
I was completely perplexed by the outcome of this conversation. I sat there, staring blankly down on my plate, as he asked me one question after another.
School was a very touchy subject for me, because back in my old life I wasn't able to concentrate on good grades, on studying or any other school related things. Most of the time I had just been relieved when I made it through a single school day without pounding questions about bruises or any other forms of conversations.
Going to school was always a very stressful thing for me, because I lived in the constant fear that my secret could be revealed. As much as I loved and was passionate about studying, reading and writing, at school I just prayed that the hours would pass and at home I had no chance to study, because there was Hank. As soon as I did anything school related he would scream at me, if I hadn't anything better to do than wasting my time with reading or writing.
Therefore, my grades had never been better than C's, D's or sometimes B's. My whole life long I dreamt of attending a college, but back in my past life there was no chance of fulfilling this illusion. Hearing my grandfather talk about school and how very important a good education was, filled me with anger and embarrassment at the same time. Embarrassment over the fact that my grades didn't comply with my real abilities and anger that I had never been able to show what I was really able to at school. This anger suddenly seemed to take overhand in me and suddenly I could hardly control myself any more.
"I had C's, D's…and when I was very lucky… and my dear adoptive father wouldn't lay his hands on me for once, I even had a B sometimes." I suddenly started to unload my anger. But this was not only about school any more, but suddenly the whole unfairness of my life seemed to erupt out of me, like the spitting lava of a volcano.
"I didn't have the time to care about good grades, about studying, about tests and homework. I was relieved when I made it through the day! I was relieved when nobody had asked me about the bruises on my arms…on my back…on my whole body. I counted the hours, when the bell would finally ring and mark the end of a long… nerve straining school day. Yes…in that moment relieve washed over me, but in the next second I had to think about what still lay ahead of me. A home…no…a life, with an abusive, alcoholic man…who wouldn't allow me to care about school. Who would…raise…his hand as soon as I would step into his house. How could I care about school, when I could hardly drag myself into my room not to mention to fall asleep. There wasn't a day, when I didn't cry myself to sleep… when I didn't wince from the pain inside my body…when I didn't wish that I would rather die than live one more day in this hell." I cried bitterly, as big, fat tears streamed down my face.
I took my head in my hands and tried to hide the desperation that was practically written on my face. I couldn't believe what I had said right now. Had I really started to cry in front of these people? Had I talked about Hank? Had I talked about my past? My shoulders were shaking as one sob after the other escaped my lips. I couldn't remember when I had cried so uncontrollably the last time in my life. It was if my whole past was flowing out of me like a huge waterfall.
Suddenly I felt the tight soothing hands of my mother around me. She gently stroked my hair, and leaned my head on her shoulder. Desperately, I wrapped my arms around her and hung on to her as if there would be no tomorrow. I cried so hard, until my Mom's shoulder was nearly soaked wet. We stayed in that position for several minutes, until my tears finally subsided and my shaking body seemed to calm itself. I squeezed my eyes shut, before I finally let go of my Mom, my breath still coming out in small gasps. I still felt her gentle palm on my cheek, while she stroked her other hand rhythmically through my hair.
"I'm sorry…Mom" I whispered, nearly inaudibly. There, I had said it. It escaped my lips unintentionally but it had felt like the most natural thing in the world.
"You don't have to be sorry, babe" she said soothingly, as a tear of happiness left her eye, not daring to leave my side for a moment.
Slowly I studied the expressions of Rory, Grandma and Grandpa, afraid what I would see in it.
To my surprise, single tears rolled down Rory's cheeks and in her eyes I could only see compassion and love but no trace of pity as I had feared. Even in the eyes of Grandpa and Grandma glistened a few lonely tears. I shook my head lightly and took a deep breath, to calm myself.
"I'm sorry" I said again, this time however my apology was directed towards my Grandpa.
"You don't have to be." he repeated the words of my Mom, as he stood up and kneeled besides my chair. "I'm sorry for my behaviour earlier. You don't have to be sorry for anything." He said soothingly
"It just was too much. I…I'm just… so…angry" I said with a pained expression.
"You have… every right to be angry" Rory said nodding her head wildly. "Gosh…I'm furious at the simple thought what this guy has done to you."
"I will crush this little worm. I will hunt him down, drag him in front of the highest court, and and…" Richard said.
"Dad!" Mom interrupted his threats.
"Sorry" he sighed defeated. "This man, he will pay for what he has done to you. And so will Strobe and Francine. I still can't believe that they…"
"I know" Mom said.
"Have you told Christopher yet?" Grandma suddenly asked.
"Not yet. It's so hard" she sighed, while getting up from her kneeling position. "I just know, that Francine and Strobe will come back from a business trip tomorrow and the police will arrest them at the airport."
"This is unbelievable. Unbelievable." Grandma furiously said, pounding her fork with every new word on the table, to underline her resentment.
"These people. That they had the nerve to do something like that. To take such measures." She continued.
"Could we talk about something different now?" my Mom interrupted my Grandmother's rant.
"So or so, we and they have to face the consequences of their actions soon. And god help me, when I face those people, somebody has to hold me back or I'm going to kill them" my Mom said, while rubbing her forehead.
As I wiped away the last traces of my little break down, we continued our dinner as if nothing had happened. My head, however, was pounding furiously as I thought about the approaching encounter between me, my family and the people, who had prevented me from growing up with my Mom and Rory.
"My apologies again for my behaviour earlier, Avery" my Grandpa said once again.
"It's okay." I answered, giving him a small smile.
"What I really wanted to ask you earlier was, if you intend on going to Chilton yourself." He said, as I looked at him completely surprised.
"Dad!" Mom said unnerved.
"Ah…I…I don't know. My grades are not…."
"Forget about your grades." Grandma quickly said. "We know the headmaster, and I'm sure we could arrange something."
"I don't know. I think I would feel quite uncomfortable, visiting an elite school, just because my Grandparents know the headmaster." I said seriously.
"I like that attitude" Grandpa said noddingly but seemingly disappointed at the same time.
"But if I could take some kind of test, that would qualify me to visit Chilton, then I would gladly take it." I quickly added, as I saw the disappointed faces of my Grandparents.
"We will phone headmaster Charleston as soon as tomorrow morning" my grandmother said excitedly, her eyes sparkling like the ones of a child on Christmas.
"Any thoughts about what you want to study?" Grandpa continued in his excitement.
"Dad!" Mom said once again, while Rory slightly chuckled about the cute behaviour of her Gradnparents.
"What Lorelai?" he asked innocently.
"Actually I have" I interrupted their little banter. "I always dreamed about studying medicine."
All heads suddenly turned in my direction.
"Really?" Mom and Rory asked me at the same time, while I nodded my head.
"This is brilliant" Grandma said enthusiastically. "A doctor in our family. All the girls from the DAR will envy me for that." She said, while I had to smile about the dreamy expression in her eyes.
Not in my wildest dreams had I ever considered or even dared to think about attending a college like Harvard, Yale, Princeton or Stanford. This new life, enabled me completely new chances and possibilities. And why not, take a chance like that?
I stuck my fork in a piece of lobster and chewed happily as I considered this new chance on life.