Okay, before this chapter starts, I have a contest for everyone. The person who tells me the best alibi to get your parents out of the house for the night that involves a calculator, chicken pox and the end of the world, will be rewarded greatly!
Now enjoy chapter 5! Don't forget to review!
Chapter 5 – Childhood Games - SPOV
Butters was the first to arrive. Typical – usually people showed up 'fashionably late' – half an hour later – but since Butters still lacked basic social skills, he showed up at EXACTLY 7 pm. I mean exact. Not 6:59, or 7:01, but 7:00 exactly. Weird eh?
Butters glanced around nervously. "Where is everybody?" he asked me quietly.
"Oh, you're the first person to arrive," I said. A look of guilt immediately crept along his face.
"O-oh, well, I-I guess I can come back later then," he said, looking at his feet. A pang of guilt hit me. The poor kid hadn't exactly had the best home life, especially over the last couple of years. The least I could do was be human to him.
"Nah, don't worry about it," I said, flashing a genuine smile at him. "Come in – I'm sure others will be here shortly." I took his jacket for him, something I normally wouldn't do for someone, and invited him over to the couch in the living room.
After a few painful minutes of trying to make small talk – Butters and I never really had much in common – I suggested we plug in the Xbox and play a few video games. Butters actually held his own quite well – he even beat me (gasp!) a few times.
Just as I had predicted, people didn't start showing up for a good half hour. After that, people were constantly flooding in. An hour later and I smiled as my prediction came true – half the teenage population of the town had to be here already, and more were still coming in. It was only 8pm and people were already cracking open the booze. It confused me how people could get drunk so fast so early in the evening. Within another half hour, a few people were already stumbling around. I watched Kenny down one, then two, then three beers in about 20 minutes – of course, it went straight to his head. I think he was gone after about half an hour. It had to be some sort of record.
I wandered around, watching everyone, while sipping a beer. No way would I get drunk until I had found Cartman and he had given me my money. I didn't want to forget about it. Where was he?
Just then, I heard someone barge in. A grunt has assured me it was Cartman. I walked over to the front door. Sure enough, Cartman was there, throwing off his jacket. I leaned against the wall with my hand out. Cartman looked up.
"Goddamnit Stan, you just can't wait two minutes can you?"
"It was our deal Cartman."
Cartman glared at me, then handed me the sixty bucks he owed.
"Thank ya. I have a little reward for you for being such a good little boy."
Cartman's chubby ears perked up at the word 'reward'. "What is it?"
I smirked then gestured for him to follow me. "You know," I said to him. "You should be grateful that I'm such a great friend, I probably shouldn't have even done this."
Cartman rolled his eyes at me. "Done what?"
I led him into the kitchen. I opened the top cupboard and pulled something out of the back. I had to hide it, or else someone would have already gotten to it. I displayed the bottle to Cartman, whose eyes widened. He drooled a little, looking at it.
Sambuca. By far, Cartman's favourite alcoholic beverage. The stuff tasted like black licorice, which I personally thought was disgusting, but for some reason Cartman loved it. I had bought it only because later I had felt a little guilty at making him pay all that. After all, it wasn't COMPLETELY his fault that he couldn't get the drinks.
Damn me for having a conscience.
I handed the bottle to Cartman before he drowned me in his drool.
"Fuckin' sweet!" he exclaimed, running off and cackling maniacally. I shook my head. No Gee, thanks Stan or That sure was nice of you Stan. Typical Cartman.
I glanced at my watch – 8:30. Where was Kyle? Maybe I had missed him. I wandered around looking for him. As I passed by the front door, I saw Butters putting on his jacket.
"Leaving so soon?" I asked him.
"W-well, yeah. I-I really shouldn't be drinkin' – I'm a t-terrible liar so my parents would d-definetely find out." He gave me a small smile. Poor kid never lets himself have any fun, I thought with pity.
"Alright then. Have a good evening Butters." I smiled at him before continuing on my search for Kyle, which ended up becoming more and more difficult, as people kept on stopping me to talk, or clap me on the back for having such an 'awesome party.' I walked into the living room, and a round of applause and screams went up.
"Three fuckin' cheers for Stan!" Kenny cried out. "His house is the best damn place for parties!" A few people roared in acknowledgement. I laughed. Bebe was sitting on the couch with Wendy.
"Hey Stan, is Kyle coming?" she yelled while walking over to me. She hiccupped.
"Um, yeah he should be here soon," I replied. Bebe smiled drunkenly at me. She pressed herself up really close to me. She pouted. "My boyfriend broke up with me, isn't that so sad?" she asked.
"Uh, yeah, really sad," I said, trying to get her away from me.
She pressed herself up closer. I could feel her boobs pushing into my chest. "Why would he do that? Don't you think I'm sexy?" she asked me. Oh my god.
"Uh, Bebe, I have a g-girlfriend," I stuttered, using Mandy as an excuse.
This apparently seemed to turn her on more. "She doesn't need to know anything," she whispered to me.
I was saved by Wendy. "Okay, Bebe, let's just sit you back on the couch." She led Bebe away from me. She smiled sympathetically at me. I mouthed 'I owe you' at her, and she laughed. I left the room to continue the search for Kyle, which went fruitless.
I checked my watch. Nine o' clock. My stomach lurched slightly. Was he not coming? I planned this whole thing for him…
I heard a familiar knock at the door. Bout time, I thought. Only Kyle would knock at the door to a party when everyone else was barging in and out. Always the gentleman. I rolled my eyes and opened the door. Sure enough, there he was.
"Dude! Everyone's been here for two hours! I thought you weren't going to show up or something!"
He shrugged at me. "Eh. Better late than never" I turned my head as I heard someone scream from the living room.
"Alright, well come on in," I said to him. I left the door to go get Kyle a drink. Just as I was leaving, Bebe staggered over to me. She was even more drunk than before.
"Whoizzit?" she slurred at me. I shook my head and continued into the kitchen. I heard Bebe scream Kyle's name. As I remembered how Bebe had been to me, I walked a little faster. She had always liked Kyle somewhat. I could only imagine what she would do to him if she had the chance.
I went back towards the door to find Bebe attacking Kyle's waist. Kyle looked at me with a helpless look, trying to push her off of him as he cried my name. I tried not to laugh. He managed to get away from her, but not before she reached out and slapped his ass. Slight anger flared up inside me. That's just not right. Someone needs to teach that slut to keep her hands to herself. Can't she see Kyle's not interested. Confusion grew inside me. It wasn't THAT big a deal, was it? I shook me head just as Kyle was assuring Bebe they'd talk later. He shouldn't have said that – she'd hold it to him.
"Dude, sorry for leaving you with her," I apologized as I handed him a beer. "I just went to get you a beer."
He smiled at me and accepted the drink. "No worries man. Thanks." We walked into the living room, and another cheer went up. Kyle seemed a little taken aback by all the people that were there.
"Shit, dude, who'd you invite to this thing?" he asked me. He raised an eyebrow. God he looks cute when he does that. Wait, what?
I responded to Kyle, grinning, saying 'everyone,' before taking a huge swig of my drink. Alcohol would surely make my brain stop jacking off.
"BROFLOVSKI!" I nearly jumped out of my socks. Kenny was standing there, grinning like a fool at Kyle.
"How are you man? Oh dude, I'm so fuckin' wasted!" he announced, throwing his beer bottle up in the air. It came down nicely on his head. Good going, genius.
Kyle looked both repulsed and amused by Kenny as they continued on their conversation. I suddenly found Kyle's hair very fascinating. It had been a curly little 'fro when we were younger, and he was ashamed of it. Over the years, it had loosened up into nice curls that framed his face, and he has cut it shorter. It looked really rather nice.
As Kenny left, Kyle turned back to me. "So, what do we do now?" he asked.
I grinned at him. What do we always do at these things, Kyle?
"We drink."
I led Kyle into the kitchen to get another beer, when I spotted a glass checkerboard someone had left there, along with several small shot glasses.
"Care for a game?" I grinned at him, motioning at the board. He grinned.
"Sure."
I brought the glass board and glasses over to the table. Kyle found Cartman's bottle of Sambuca, already half empty, by the fridge.
I wrinkled my nose. "Dude, that stuff tastes like shit," I informed him.
This did not deter him. "So? It's like, 43 alcohol or something."
"But it tastes like shit."
"Fine then Stan, be a little pussy," he told me as he filled up his shot glasses halfway with the nasty stuff. I was annoyed. No one, and I mean NOONE, got away with calling Stan Marsh a pussy. Kyle knew that. I sat down at the kitchen table with a loud thump.
"Fine dude. You're on."
Kyle beat me. Twice. But that was probably because I wasn't really paying attention to the game. Or maybe because Kyle kicked ass at checkers. I was more interested in watching Kyle becoming increasingly drunk. He told me how his mom was all over him the minute he got in the door, and how his brother attacked him much like how Bebe did, except not sexually, and how he wouldn't let go of him for a full two hours. I laughed the whole time.
Kyle jumped me. I took the jumped glass and downed it.
"Hey, do you know what's kinda funny?"
"What?"
"I drove the whole way here, a two day's drive without sleeping at all! I musta had, like, 50 coffees or something!" he exaggerated.
"Dude!" I exclaimed, laughing. "So you're here right now and haven't slept for two days?"
"Three, actually. I pulled an all-nighter the night before for my last exam." My eyes bulged.
"Dude, you're totally gonna kill yourself if you keep doin' that. I mean, SHIT! I can't even function without like 8 hours a night!"
"Yeah, me neither. I'm kinda beyond functioning at this point."
I raised my eyebrows. What the hell?
"Care for another game?" he asked me. I grinned.
"You know it."
We somehow ended up on the carpet in the living room, rolling around laughing. Don't ask me how.
I gazed at Kyle through bleary eyes. "Dude, I think all we do when we're drunk is laugh," I told him.
He raised an eyebrow at me. "So?" Goddamnit Kyle, stop doing that! Okay, so apparently alcohol hadn't stopped my brain from jacking off.
I saw Cartman come up behind Kyle and tap him on the shoulder. Kyle turned around and stood up, as did I.
"FATASS!" he roared at Cartman. Apparently he had forgotten that he didn't like Eric, because he tried to hug him. Cartman pushed his away, protecting the camcorder he held in his hand. Kyle fell back into me, causing me to lose my balance and topple to the ground, with Kyle on top of me.
Kyle on top of me.
Brain, STOP IT! That is ENOUGH!
I pushed Kyle off of me and stood up again.
"Watch it Jew, don't want my camcorder broken," Cartman slurred.
"What are you using that for?" Kyle asked. Apparently alcohol made Kyle stupider. Or was that just the lack of sleep?
"What do you think dumbass? I'm makin' a movie outta this kick ass party! This is gonna be hella sweet to watch later!" I saw an idea spark in Kyle's mind. Uh oh.
"Hey Cartman, is that thing recording right now?" he asked.
Cartman blinked. "Yeah, why?"
Before anyone had time to react, Kyle had turned around, bent over and pulled down his pants, exposing his ass. Since I was standing behind him, if I looked into the camcorder lens, I could almost see it –
I could feel my face contorting in horror! Ew! My god! I really don't need to see that Kyle! However, after looking at Cartman's face, how could I help but crack up laughing. He looked like he was gonna hurl.
"Ew, Jew boy that is nasty! I'm editing that out just so you know!" he screamed. I collapsed on the floor laughing, Kyle beside me.
A few moments later, I saw Wendy entering the room, followed by Bebe, Red, and a few other girls. They were all giggling, pushing Wendy forwards, who looked like she was about to say something.
Good thing Bebe wasn't here earlier. She might have passed out at the excitement of seeing Kyle's ass. I chuckled.
Wendy stepped forwards.
"Who wants to play spin the bottle?" she shouted out. I laughed.
"Dude, that game is so grade school!" I informed her.
She looked at me calmly. "So?"
I thought this over. "Good point. I'm in."
Wendy looked over to Kyle, who agreed as well.
I saw Craig and Clyde all agree to the game too, as well as a few others.
"Alright, whoever wants to play, come meet us upstairs in Stan's room." Wait, why my room? Too late. She was already halfway up the stairs. I resentfully followed her, followed by Kyle.
Wow. I hadn't realized how drunk I was until I saw how heavily I was leaning on the railing of the stairs.
"Dude, I'm going to be so hungover tomorrow," Kyle said, voicing my thoughts.
"Yeah, me too," I agreed.
I followed Wendy into my room, where several people were already seated. I noticed Kenny. No way would he find an excuse to kiss anyone, male OR female. The perv. We all sat around, waiting for someone to speak.
"Shit. We need a bottle," Bebe said. "Where can we get a bottle?" I looked around, noticing several empty ones littered all over my room. I smirked.
Wendy rolled her eyes at Bebe. "Hmmm, let's see. Where can we get a bottle? Bebe, you're holding an empty bottle right now." I laughed at Bebe, along with a few others. She looked clearly embarrassed, but got over it fast.
"Right. Alright, well since I've got the bottle, I'll go first. Hmm, who would like to kiss me?" She batted her eyelashes resting on Kyle, who shifted uneasily.
I heard from Bebe two years ago that if you thought about the person you wanted it to land on while you spun, it would land on them. Apparently it worked, at least for her, because it landed on Kyle.
Kyle looked unamused, but regardless, leant across the circle quickly to kiss her quickly and firmly on the lips. It must have lasted half a second. Bebe looked disappointed, but passed the bottle on to Wendy, nonetheless.
Wendy spun, landing on Clyde. She flashed an apologetic look to Token. He shrugged and winked at her. I assumed they were still dating.
Even I was surprised when Clyde practically leapt across the circle to Wendy. He kissed her hard – I winced thinking that must be painful – and then he backed off. Wendy looked shocked, Token looked ready to kill Clyde. Wendy looked shocked at Craig, who had just flipped her off. Craig then proceeded to glare at Clyde, and Clyde, seeing Craig's anger, looked down at his feet.
Okay. What just happened there?
A few more turns passed, and eventually the bottle came to me. I spun it, and it landed on... myself.
I blinked, confused.
"Ooooh, now Stan has to kiss himself!" Bebe announced.
"Dumb bitch, how the hell is he supposed to do that?" Craig demanded, flipping her off. I agreed with him.
"Spin it again Stan," Wendy directed me. As I spun it, I saw Craig grab Clyde by the arm and drag him out of the room. No one else seemed to notice though.
It landed on myself again.
"'K, what the fuck?" I demanded, glaring down at the offending bottle.
"Keep spinning it until you get someone else," Wendy told him.
I spun it two more times. They both landed on myself. I looked up to notice everyone was laughing. Goddamnit.
I decided to try to use Bebe's trick. I glared down at the bottle. There was no way this would work. Just to prove it, I thought about Kyle and spun the bottle. So there to your theories, Bebe! Hah!
But this time, it didn't land on me.
This time it landed on Kyle.
Okay, I will never question Bebe's theories again.
The entire circled oooohed at us. I just looked at the bottle. I felt faint.
Somewhere I heard Kyle's voice. "That can't be right. Spin it again Stan." I gratefully reached out to spin the bottle, only to be slapped away by Red.
"Ah, ah, ah!" she said. "What the bottle says, goes."
This can't be happening. "Kyle's a guy." How could they not understand that?
"Nice observation, Captain Obvious," Wendy said.
They can't really expect us to do this.
I felt Kyle peck me on the cheek, looking for an easy way out.
"Nice try Kyle!" Bebe giggled. "It has to be a real one, on the mouth."
No way. This is cruel.
I looked at how Kyle was taking this. His face had turned the colour of his hair, and he was determinedly looking at his socks.
There was no way outta this. I had never really contemplated what kissing Kyle would be like, not since the eighth grade, when I had a minor crush on him that lasted a grand total of a week. Now that I was being faced with it, I wanted every excuse possible to not do it. But there was no escape.
I grimaced. "So we really have to do this eh?" I asked the group, praying they would shout out 'Surprise! We got you Stan!'
No such luck.
I grabbed Kyle's chin lightly and pushed his face away from looking at his socks. He scrunched his eyes tightly. He looked terrified. He seem to be feeling the same way I was about this then.
It meant nothing, I convinced myself.
"I'm sorry dude, but they're not going to let us go without doing this." I took a deep breath, then gulped.
I leaned in quickly and planted my lips firmly onto his. I heard his gasp a little. A warmth spread through my whole body. I was in ecstacy.
Was he kissing me back?
No. This is Kyle.
Shit! This is KYLE!
I broke away from him quickly, in horror of what I had just done. Kyle was looking at me, his mouth open and his face paled. I blushed, embarrassed, and muttered an apology to him.
Everyone was staring at me.
Finally Bebe spoke. "Damn, Stan! That was fucking hot! Kiss me next!"
"No, me!" another girl shouted.
I could still taste Kyle on my lips as I bit them, but otherwise felt relieved. I smirked at the girls. "Ah, ah, ah, what the bottle says, goes." I used their line on them. "You'll have to see if you land on me."
Kyle rolled his eyes at me. He probably thought I was a flirt.
The game continued on for a while. The funniest part was when Token had to kiss Cartman – they both looked nauseous afterwards. Was that how I looked?
I kissed two girls before I realized I really, REALLY had to pee. So I excused myself in search of the bathroom. As I stepped outside, I could hear two guys yelling at each other. It was Craig and Clyde. They hadn't even noticed me.
"The fuck was that?" Craig yelled at Clyde.
"Dude, chill out! It was just a game!"
"You fucking JUMPED her! I mean goddamn! Why didn't you just bed her right there!"
"You know I wouldn't have done that!"
"Oh do I? Fuck you Clyde!" Craig started to storm downstairs, but Clyde caught him, turned him around viciously, and planted a huge kiss on him.
Dude! Are they ….together?
They broke apart. I could barely hear Clyde whisper, "You know I only love you."
Having seen more than enough homosexual scenarios for the evening, I continued walking to the bathroom. I did my business, then decided I'd had enough of spin the bottle and went back downstairs. Me and Kenny talked about nothing for a while. I was amazed he could still talk – by the looks of it he could barely walk anymore.
Around 1:00 am the spin the bottle game broke up. Kyle ran back downstairs, a look of horror on his face. He spotted me.
"Dude! How could you ditch me like that! After you left, they tried to make me kiss CARTMAN!" He twitched.
"Did you?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Fuck no! I said fuck this game and I left!"
I laughed. "Do you realize if you had, Cartman would have had the most guy-on-guy action tonight, between you and Token?"
"If I had kissed Cartman, we would have been tied 2-2."
Right. Aaaand I'm a dumbass.
Kenny became interested. "And who DID you kiss?" he inquired.
Kyle was about to respond when Bebe came over running, sitting in his lap.
"Hey baby, remember you said we would talk later?"
Kyle groaned. That's what you get for promising girls shit I thought.
"Bebe, can't you leave me alone?"
"Damn Kyle, when you kissed Stan, I got soo turned on," she stated.
Kenny's eyebrows raised.
"STAN kissed ME!" Kyle protested.
Kenny turned his glance to me.
"I always knew you were kinda funny, Marsh."
"Ugh, Kenny! They MADE us do it! We didn't have a choice!"
"It's true!" Kyle supported.
Kyle still looked like he didn't believe me.
"Dude! I have a GIRLFRIEND!" I shouted at him, becoming annoyed.
"Sure, keep telling yourself that."
"I have a picture of her!" I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket. I showed him a picture of Mandy and I kissing. I had holding her with one arm and the camera with the other.
"She could be your long lost sister."
"Dude! I'm KISSING her!"
"Incest."
"Ew! That's fucking sick Kenny!"
"Hey if I had a sister that looked that like, I'd hop her in a sec!"
Kyle looked grossed out beyond belief. "Ew! Kenny!"
"What? I'm just saying!"
"Kenny, here. Have another drink." I passed Kenny a beer in an attempt to shut him up.
"No man, I'm done. I'm totally wasted. Any more and I'll be blowing chunks all over your bathroom!"
"Oh God Kenny, can you just shut the hell up?"
"Dude! Calm down Stan! You need to chill! Deep breath!"
I closed my eyes, willing myself to calm down. Woah Marsh. It's not a big deal. Kenny's always been like that.
Bebe rolled her eyes at us. "You guys are so sick! I'm outta here!" She stood up in a way so that her ass would rub into Kyle's groin.
"Bye, Kyle," she whispered seductively, winking at him.
The second she was out of sight, he leaned back and closed his eyes, sighing.
"Why the hell can't she just leave me alone?"
"She's too damn horny to leave you alone," Kenny explained. I agreed with him.
"You should just go out with her and then you can both satisfy your perverted wishes," I told Kenny.
"What? And tie myself down with one woman? In your dreams, man!"
I laughed and shook my head.
"Kenny, dude, you're hopeless."
Kenny winked at me. "And you like it that way."
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