Matters
I'm beginning to wonder what really matters anymore…
A Naruto Fanfiction – By: Little Miss AiLy
A/N: Reviews are appreciated, favorites are loved, but flames will be used to roast some sorts of marshmallow-y treat. Enjoy the story.
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I would've already made this coupling apparent if not canon.
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I don't know quite when it began to irk me, perhaps from the very beginning, but I got over it, or so I thought. You've always been that way. I've known it from the beginning, but it took time for it to really get to me. I've known it from the beginning, but it took getting to know you for it to really get to me. I've known it from the beginning, but the one thing I still don't know is what really matters to you.
Every time, every single time we speak, it always creaks itself to a little lull where you find yourself telling me so quietly, always so quietly, "I've been meaning to tell you something…"
And I will reply, also so quietly, curiously, anxious, because maybe this time you'll actually tell me. "What is it?"
You'll wait a few moments, maybe for dramatic effect, but I don't think you're the type to bother… You're barely the type to bother to do anything. "It doesn't really matter." And that's all we'll say to each other for the rest of our time together.
"It doesn't really matter," is all you ever tell me. So tell me, what really matters?
Obviously the clouds, because you waste my time just to drag me out to show me them. Admittedly, they're always bigger then, or maybe they're just bigger here in this town. I never bothered to notice.
Apparently, the stars also matter a great deal of some amount, because you'll drag me away from my dinner and my brothers just for me to see them. Admittedly they always sparkle brighter when you show them to me, or maybe they're just brighter here in this town. I never bothered to notice.
Somehow, the rain is also so wonderfully important to you, because you won't let me go in without at least getting hit with one drop of rain. Admittedly, they seem so much calmer and less depressing when you're pulling at my wrist and teasing me with your umbrella, or maybe it's just this town. I never bothered to notice.
Quite noticeably, the snow is also something to you, because you wouldn't let me leave until I got into an all out snow war with you. Admittedly, the snow is so very pure and beautiful, something I couldn't experience back home and it's got a deal to do with the town. But something still claims to it being with you, not the actual act. I don't care to listen or notice.
There is something about you and the sky, and watching it, endlessly. If it wasn't the clouds, it was the stars. If it wasn't rain, it was snow. And if the sky didn't have a thing to watch, you'd sleep until it did. It seemed to be the only thing that mattered. So I wonder where you came upon the idea to try and fit me into that world. Truth: I could care less, and you know it. So why did you, being such an infernal, little twit, insist upon it and find some way to drag me out to see whatever it is you found so amazing "this time"? My brothers say that I'm just denying something I know very well. I say a curse or two and smack the older up the side of the head. It works very effectively. I'd suggest it, but I'm not quite sure if I'm the one anyone should be asking advice from.
This time, I decided to make it different. This time, when it got quiet, I was the first to speak. You weren't going to ruin another conversation. I didn't even really want to be here all that much, but I wasn't going to let it pester me beyond that. "I've been meaning to ask you something." Perhaps that would get you. Perhaps you'd get the idea.
"What?" I can't quite tell if you did… Damn.
I'd say "It doesn't really matter" just to bother you, but I don't bother to even let it get past the thought process. "If anything at all besides these things you drag me out to watch every few hours, days, whatever, matters to you, what?"
"I don't think it really matters."
"So whatever matters to you shouldn't matter, or is it that you don't think it matters anything to anyone else to be speaking of it?"
"Why does it matter to you?"
"Because I'm tired of feeling like this is all something pointless and that 'doesn't really matter'. I'm tired of wasting my time on something that doesn't really matter."
"Well it matters to me, but I really don't see why it would matter to you that it matters to me."
"Maybe if I knew, it would."
"How troublesome…" You sigh. It's a very frustrated sigh and it only draws more of my interest. "If you really want to know what matters to me, then it just so happens to be you." You say the last word very quietly. I almost strain to hear it, but once it's uttered it rings like breaking glass in a silence.
"What?"
"I told you that I didn't really think it matters. If it gets me in trouble, I find that it doesn't matter to say."
"You're just stupid aren't you?"
"What?"
"It doesn't matter."
"I'm starting to wonder what really matters anymore, Temari."
"Me too, Shikamaru, me too."
-End-